Dude Waxer Deserved Better. I Hope Theres A Universe Where Waxer Is Living On Ryloth With That Little

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

Breaking the ACOTAR 4th wall:

Rhys: I won the Blood Rite. But Cassian had to carry me the last bit.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: My sister was decapitated and I had to see the traumatic remains.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: I underwent devastating sexual assault.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: I’m a halfbreed.

Gwyn: Me too.

Rhys: We have a lot in common.

Gwyn: We do.

Rhys: So why do Elriels insist on protecting you from sexual intimacy, call out how you aren’t a real Carynthian and ridicule your roots but not me?

Gwyn: That would be because I’m a rival love interest for Azriel and they have to tear apart my character to invalidate my relevance and keep their sinking ship afloat.

Rhys: *picks at lint* Gross.

Gwyn: Yup.

i need help understanding mor and the dynamic between cassian and azriel.

TLDR; i dont get why this dynamic is so important! for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret so why is she so insistent on being shitty to az? azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

ok so this girl doesn’t have the courage to tell azriel that she doesn’t like him that way (or ever).

but its been 500 years of pining; like ?? i think he knows his heart has been broken?? hes a spy master; his entire profession is him seeking secrets and i would even assume knowing how to read people and such. i feel like after 500 years, he can pretty much confirm shes not interested in him. and then using cassian whenever theyre together should also signify something? are we banking on azriel to be a Head Empty dumbo man who doesn’t have an ounce of self awareness and emotional intelligence here?? mor constantly flirts w cassian as a joke. mor needing cassian to be a buffer sounds like she just wants him as the third wheel but nothing else and thats really shitty thing to do. how can she think she can keep it up?? how can she also assume cassian won’t try to find love?? she doesn’t love az why stop him from finding love???

she straight up only likes females no? she’s already sleeping with other people. thats a known fact. azriel has also slept w other people. they dont sleep together but they do just hang out–like buddies?? they go to ritas, they hang out in the houses at valeris, they do night court jobs together-ish but thats it? that sounds like what friends do. so if she rejects azriel, the worst that seems to happen is that they won’t hang out like they used to.

i flipped through ACOWAR to make sure im not missing anything and this is part of what she says:

“I’m not sure I can give my entire heart to him in that way. And…and I love him enough to want him to find someone who can truly love him like he deserves. And I love myself….I love myself enough to not want to settle until I find that person, too” (ACOWAR, 592)

“I should tell him. I need to tell him. Mother above, after last night, I should. But…It’s gone on for so long. So long. I’m petrified to face him–to tell him he’s spent five hundred years of pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout…I like things the way they are.”  (ACOWAR, 593)

she says this shit!! two contradictory paragraphs!!! how are you gonna be like let az find love/i want to find love and then backtrack and be like wait i like this dynamic??? what??????? in between those two line she says this:

“It’s stupid, I know. It’s so stupid and cruel that I do this, but…I slept with Helion just to remind Azriel…Gods, I can’t even say it. It sounds even worse saying it.”

“To remind him that you’re not interested.” (ACOWAR, 593)

what is this?? literally what the fuck?? this line right here makes mor sound like such a dick. this is literally cruel; she knows hes got intense feelings for her but she does this still?? is this some kind of power trip she likes???

yes it can be heart breaking to lose a friend but at the same time stringing them along and being so elusive is worse is it not?? yes it will probably hurt az a lot especially if his feelings are super intense but i think they as characters are capable of going past this. it might not be like before, but they will still be supportive of one another.

but also consider this: what would be the consequence of rejecting azriel? will he go on a rampage? will he shut out the IC forever? will he abandon them? is there a darkness to him that makes mor afraid to speak her actual feelings? cuz i feel like at worst it would be a few awkward moments here and there but ultimately it would just be over with and they will be friends again. does she really believe that az would continue to be a hopeless puppy following her around in the hope of her loving him forever or does she think he’ll reject love forever if she rejects him? she hasn’t given him actual romantic love back so he might not be missing much. and even her words about fucken helion just to remind az she’s not interested is treating him shity enough (which also leads me to why does he love mor? did he know her before rhys brought her to the illyrian camp all those years ago when she and cassian did it?) i know she wants to keep liking females a secret, but rejecting az won’t make people automatically assume she isn’t straight.

i can’t help but think literally all of mor’s reasoning for not telling az and keeping the dynamic going is garbage. the stakes aren’t that high! shes being a bad friend and stifling both cassian and azriel! idk how az’s heart isn’t already breaking?? im really mad SJM is trying to play this up as a big thing and making this dynamic seem so important to these characters but for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret. azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

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I’m screaming this is so freaking cute

Gwynriel Headcanons: Cozy & Festive ❄️🌲

A/N: I finished Dash&Lily on Netflix and now I'm watching Love Actually. Grab a cup of cocoa and read some heartwarming Gwynriel headcanons

Gwyn gets really into knitting. She's naturally crafty & good at everything.

Nesta, Cass, Emerie and Az wearing gorgeous knit sweaters

Azriel asking if she knows how to make mittens too because his hands get cold 🥺

Gwyn making a matching set of mittens & a beanie for Azriel and Azriel ONLY

Az proudly wearing his Berdara bespoke and looking like a cozy sexy hunk

the rest of IC getting super jealous (as they should)

Midnight flying trips to see the festive faelights decorating Velaris.

Gwyn's beaming smile & wide-eyed awe. Azriel's soft eyes and secret smiles staring at Gwyn's face. It's prettier than the lights.

Late-night hot cocoa and deep intimate conversations. Extra marshmallows and whipped cream for Gwyn, of course.

Azriel getting a hot cocoa mustache

Gwyn: "Shadowsinger, have you ever thought of growing out your beard a little?"

Gwyn, mumbles: "You'd look hot with scruff."

Az:  "What was that?"

Gwyn: "Nothing." 😳

Azriel tells Gwyn all about the IC’s Solstice traditions and the snowball fight

Azriel trying to be suave and cool casually bragging about all his wins to impress Berdara

Gwyn totally amused that he’s being cocky knowing damn well he lost last year

Gwyn teasing Az about his crushing defeat, being a stubborn sore loser, and this silly cocky attitude.

Azriel: 😑

Gwyn: "So is your goal this year just to win or total annihilation?"

Total annihilation, obviously.

Gwyn and Azriel spend the week before the snowball fight perfecting his plan to completely wreck Rhys & Cass. They devise snow density ratios, sphere-forming techniques, psychological analysis of Cass & Rhys' strengths and weaknesses

Azriel: "I surveyed the ground. The best vantage point is beside the pine tree. The snow fort should be approximately this meters tall..."

Gwyn: "Cassian has a height advantage for throwing. Rhys is shorter which is better for dodging. Cass is more easily provoked. If they start attacking each other you can use the overhand technique...

He wins. Thank you, Gwyneth Berdara.

The cold and stormy weather makes training a little harder than usual. One night, they're dripping in rain. The floor is slick and they end up falling and wrestling on the ground. Cue intense sexual tension and a dramatic stare into each other's eyes.

The nights when it's unbearably cold they stay inside just talking or reading with each other

Azriel has a humongous and cozy blanket. Gwyn loves it and looks positively adorable all snuggled up.

For some reason, they can always fall asleep when they're near each other. For some reason, they always wake up leaning against each other on the sofa. One particularly cold morning, they wake up spooning. But they're just friends, of course.

Gwyn's cold breath forming small clouds and Az's shadowing swirling around it. Curious, innit?

Azriel looking devilishly handsome in a black cashmere turtleneck

Snowflakes in Azriel's hair

Gwyn's freckled nose and cheeks tinging rosy red

Gwyn absentmindedly humming Solstice choir music and old festive songs

Gwyn, Azriel, Nesta and Cassian decorating the House of Wind with garlands, lights, holly, and evergreens.

Nesta and Cassian kissing under the mistletoe. Then, making out under the mistletoe.

Azriel catches clumsy Gwyn from falling while putting up lights

Cassian breaking a box of ornaments and Nesta shouting at him

Gwyn and Cassian wrapping themselves in tinsel

Nesta: "Where did they get bells?!?!"

Azriel: *exasperated sigh*

Gwyn and Cass: *jingle jingle* Okay let's try running faster! *jinglejinglejinglejingle*

The gang traveling to Illyria and surprising Emerie. They decorate her shop and share some mulled wine and peppermint tea.

The girls build Frosty the Snowbat. It's quite impressive and large. It’s modeled after Az’s wingspan…for reasons

The gang makes a point to give back and donate food, clothes, and toys (because a certain High Lord can't be bothered to care about his citizens 🙄) #sorrynotsorry

Gwyn organizes a children's choir in the village. Nesta gives dance lessons. Chef Cass makes a feast. Emerie gives out gifts. It's an Illyrian celebration spectacular!

Azriel helps all of them. He's quite popular with the kids. He's the baritone in Gwyn's choir.

The show is a rousing success and their singing earns a standing ovation

Gwyn knows a recipe to make what are essentially fireworks (the evil lightsinger knows how to make evil colorful lights in the sky OooO she's so dangerous)

Azriel doesn't want Gwyn to get burned. He flies them up into the sky and uses his shadows to help set them off. It's bright and magical. Everyone is in awe, especially, Gwyn.

She thanks him for his help and they share a sweet moment under a snowy tree hidden from everyone.

Azriel the Illyrian Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Gwyn jumping into Azriel arms excitedly to hug him every time she greets him (she's really cheery around the holidays and he’s always super warm)

Both of them savoring in each other's warmth and lingering in their embraces

Frosty but sunny morning trips into town for holiday shopping for all their friends.

Gwyn is a beautiful writer and makes her own cards. She writes the most loving and heartfelt notes inside. She brings Nesta and Emerie to tears. Cassian is choked up and practically squishes her.

Azriel is stunned and so moved that he can't form words and his chest feels funny. He waits until they are alone. He doesn't know what to say so he just hugs her for a very long time. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her how grateful he is for their friendship (oh these sweet idiots)

Despite the freezing cold, this holiday season feels warm. They feel the joy, they feel cared for, they feel loved. The long cold nights feel less lonely with each other.

Who else feels warm and fuzzy? already working on a part 2 ☺️

In an interview in 2015 SJM said that Lucien liked to be irritating and I started to imagine him with the brothers, he must irritate them a lot, I can only imagine in that scene that he gave Feyre something to eat and then laughed at her.

Lucien was absolutely the most annoying child EVER to his himbo brothers. Picture it:

Six* brawny brothers who like to fight, fuck, and cause problems on purpose

*More like five and a half, since Eris is smart and has layers and whatnot

ANYWAYS.

Along comes Lucien, who is a tiny little nerd who asks a bunch of questions and who is very clearly Not Like the Others™️ and you get these brothers who are constantly annoyed.

Honestly picture Beron like the Burger King and all of his sons like ginger Gastons who have no tolerance for this child who cites chapters and verses during regular dinner conversation and probably speaks like six languages and who never seems to get sunburned.

Nesta being treated like a feral, uncontrollable thing when:

a) Azriel attacks Eris at the high lord meeting and tortures people for a living

b) Feyre attacks Beron and - inadvertently - the lady of autumn at the meeting

c) Cassian is banned from a whole court and slaughtered a whole village when he was angry

d) Rhys worked with a tyrant for 50 years

e) Mor and Amren had a fight that destroyed a mountain

early criminal minds (seasons 1-5) is so fucking funny if you think about it from the perspective of literally anyone that the BAU interacts with outside of each other. to recap what’s going on, let’s go over the team. We’ve got:

Elle Greenaway- murderous bitch who maybe murdered someone in cold blood (claimed self defense but who can prove that?)

Spencer Reid- a genius with both mommy and daddy issues who looks like a fourteen year old TA and does magic tricks whilst, at some points, zooted off his ass on dilaudid

Jason Gideon- man who screams at crime scenes and lays down in blood stains

Derek Morgan- calls their tech analyst like “ugh mommy shove that nice hot information down my throat”

Penelope Garcia- the aforementioned Information Mommy, who talks to the team (specifically morgan) like a phone sex operator trying to make enough to cover rent

Jennifer Jareau- bubbly blonde woman who yells at TV reporters and kicks ass

David Rossi- rich, elderly, famous crime novelist who DEFINITELY should be retired

Emily Prentiss- goth lesbian who DEFINITELY has cursed folks out in one of the many languages she knows

Aaron Hotchner- tired workaholic man, trying his best to hold this shitshow together, also beat a man to death

like, can you IMAGINE??? it’s the worst week of your life. Some madman is running around, i don’t know, killing folks and cutting off their nipples or something, and this absolute clown brigade rolls up like “ah yes, just another Tuesday for us lmao” and start asking you questions about what kind of dirt this murderer had stuck to his shoes, and then they SOLVE THE CASE???? what the fuck must you be thinking at that point