Random Goon: Hey Boss, Were You The One To Pick That Name As An Alias? And Why This One?

Alberu: can you do a march in February? For the moral of the kingdom

Cale, zoning out: ???

Alberu, used to it: Can. February. March.?

Cale, without hesitation: no, but April May.

*Alberu, thinking about the pros and cons of throwing his brother through the window*

It is possible that somewhere off the coast of Newfoundland there is an iceberg shaped like a giant dick.

Give KRS a grain of sand and he would build a castle typo shit.

Had GoD put Kim Rok Soo and Og!Cale in one world together, whether as twins or body sharing, both of them would not only be able to cause 4 times the headache but can and will burn the world before they even turn 20 years of age.

GoD had the right idea to just switch their body’s and not regress one of them and transmigrating the other because there are heavier consequences for that and in this essay, I will-

You know what they say……..

If the next day Cale gives more sweets and pats to the kids, it's only between him and his (the claim felt so natural to him) children.

Calling him dad:

I feel like Cale would have a blank face with mildly wide open eyes if the kids were to call him dad.  Raon would fumble with the words a little because while he considers him his father, he still feels shy about being so open about it.  Hong is beet red while shouting in a mix of embarrassment and excitement about proclaiming this to his dad’s face.  On would say it a bit quietly but steadily, glancing away for a second before maintaining eye contact because she wants him to know they mean it.  She looks almost unfazed but there’s a slight red on her ear. They see Cale have a blank look on his face and know it’s because he’s an idiot and needs a moment to process. Which is absolutely right because he’s like ‘me? Dad? Where did they get that idea? Well, not that i mind, but– when did this development happen?

And he’s close to saying they should not call him that if they feel weird about it, but he sees the genuine excitement on the boys’ faces, and the fond determination on On’s face that seems to know his turmoil and tells him that yes they mean it and no this doesn’t feel weird it feels liberating and suddenly he can’t say anything.  He just pats each of their heads before letting them fall into his arms in a warm embrace.  

Because children should be happy.

And his kids will be happy for as long as he can make it so.

So if calling him ‘dad’ makes them feel like this, he’s okay with it.

(He’s more than okay with it)

He ignores the way his chest feels.  Because that’s not important right now.

What’s important is that On started sniffling like she was about to cry.

That was new.  On had never made such an expression.  She seemed happy and relieved.

Like the weight she had been carrying as the older sister that was thrown away by her home was finally lifted from her small shoulders.  The usual serious expression was gone.

And Cale hugged her tighter.  He ignored the way his arms trembled from the effort.  So did the kids.

Because children should feel like children.

And On was feeling like a kid again. 

And her siblings were right there with her.

With their dad.

With this large yet little family of theirs.

In their own corner of the world.

Ron, talking to the kids: Never break someone's heart, they only have one of those. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

On: *nods violently*

Hong: *taking notes*

Raon: But first, you must steal their gold!

Cale, who just happened to be close enough to hear: *sweating*

Do y'all understand that he would rather face the horrors of torture and physical pain (thing he hates) than the people he thinks he failed to???!???

I'm not okay, I will never get over this, it hurts like the first time and that was like 5 years ago.

Don't talk to me

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

get me on the call with eric kripke because I need to know his version of the supernatural finale. I just know it would've been a banger. it would've been the darkest of shit and horrifyingly gory and too tragic to even rewatch but it would give you a fetish so bad you'd find yourself going back and watching it while you gag and jack off at the same time. it would've been wacky enough to even have him cancelled by a section of the fandom.