worst birthday ever
I want to write but I never know how to start something. Any tip?
As silly as it sounds Darling, I suggest you just start writing. You don’t have to have a concrete plan, or even a hint of a plan, just start writing and let the story take you for a ride. You don’t even have to start at the beginning.
As an example, even if you have no idea what to write, just come up with a key word or the beginning of a sentence.
“grandmother” can turn into “You’ve always looked up to your grandmother”
From there you just keep writing, ask yourself why the character looks up to their grandmother, what reasons could there be, both mundane and fanciful. Just like that you keep on building, and eventually you have something to run with.
It sounds silly enough, but I’ve found that no matter how hard I’m struggling to come up with something, if I just start writing, something’s going to happen eventually.
Hope that helps you a little Darling. I have more advice under the advice tag, some of which is more in depth than this, if you decide you want more.
WAIT. Not to be controversial but. What if I just enjoy life for what it is right now instead of stressing about what I’ve yet to get out of it. What if I choose to enjoy this time……I know that once it goes, I won’t get it back from anywhere
Immediately started to single out Harry on his first day of school. It’s unacceptable that he allowed his anger towards James determine the way he treated Harry.
When he had to teach the DADA class for Remus, instead of continuing where they had left off he jumped straight to learning about werewolves and set the class an essay on how to kill them.
Wanted to watch Sirius get the dementor’s kiss. That’s messed up.
He only came back onto the good side after Lily was murdered. If she had stayed alive he would’ve stayed on Voldemort’s side.
He, a man in his 30s, unnecessarily bullied students. He was Neville’s boggart and continued to make fun of Hermione’s appearance and intelligence throughout the series.
And yes, he was bullied by the marauders as a teen, but they grew out of it and he clearly didn’t.
He didn’t care if Harry and James died, as long as Lily lived.
Called Lily a mudblood, became upset when she refused to speak to him afterwards and tried to apologise and say her blood status didn’t matter despite the fact that the organisation he was a part of believed the opposite
Ignored James’ body and Harry crying so he could cling onto Lily’s corpse. Creepy? Very.
Showed favouritism towards Slytherins to a ridiculous level
Has no personal hygiene. Wash your greasy hair please.
Forced Neville to use his potion on his toad, assuming Neville has messed up the potion and it would poison his toad.
As a teenager he created a spell to slash up his enemies??
Didn’t respect Lily’s choice to be with James and not him and then became obsessive towards her.
Became a DEATH EATER
Yes he was bullied and didn’t have a great childhood, but do you know who else didn’t have a great childhood? Harry. And he turned out fine because he is a good person.
He never showed remorse or regret for anything mentioned above.
Now, I’m not saying he isn’t a good character, because he is certainly a very well written character. I’m also not saying that he never did anything good and was never a victim. However, the fact is that the bad easily outweighs the good.
i knew i was going to die when i saw you for the first time in twenty-seven years.
your voice, first—oh, that voice—and then i turned and saw you, across the room, across the great divide—and i swallowed hard because i knew. i was going to die for you because i would always die for you. remember? all those times i ran for you, jumped off the quarry for you, drove your truck fast down the highway because you liked when i got reckless—all that stupid shit i did for you, no question (a little pushback, maybe). i would die for you, simple. and i knew when i looked to you and you looked back to me that i was going to.
but i didn’t want to. i fought it every step of the way. i could see—if i just made it through the dinner, if i just made it through the pharmacy, if i just made it through the ritual, if i just made it through the sewers—there was a life with you, waiting patiently.
i wanted to make it.
we have lived a life of should-haves. all of us—and it goes back further than that summer: we should have turned left on jackson instead of right when we were just kids and maybe we never would have found ourselves in it’s path. and i should have told you, so many times. i had every chance. i should have followed you, gone wherever you wanted, driven west in that car i saved up for and forgotten all about new york, forgotten all about anything that wasn’t you. but we never really got it right.
when the claw went through my chest, it didn’t hurt. when i said your name and my mouth filled with blood, it didn’t hurt. when you laid me against the rock and pressed your hand to my stomach, it didn’t hurt.
but it hurt when i laughed and it hurt when you smiled that split-second smile. (that’s when i knew i would not last much longer). it hurt when your smile fell. it hurt when you walked away from me. it hurt knowing i could not get up and follow you. and it hurt knowing that when you came back to me, you would have to find me dead and i could not hold you—i would never be able to make the pain go away anymore and i would be the cause of it.
i knew i was going to die for you a long time ago. i had just forgotten for a while. i didn’t know it would be like this—i thought maybe you’d hold me a little longer, maybe i’d tell you then.
i don’t know what i said while i died. i wanted to say, i wish you wouldn’t go. i wanted to tell you i was sorry i would not keep my promise to hold on. i hope you know i wanted to. i remember the blurry and fragmented image of you, walking away after slipping your pinky from mine. most of all, i wanted to tell you that tomorrow, we should get up early and go back home to our place, how about it my love?
but the last thing i remember is you, behind me on the cliff at the quarry on a summer day, reaching out to take my hand before we jumped, your voice shouting my name. and then—
would it be a nice day tomorrow? would the sun be shining on you, the way i always liked?
i wonder.
Just in case this needs to be said:
It’s the first draft. Use the word “suddenly.” Put as many dialogue tags and adverbs as you want. Say “he saw” “she remembered” “she felt” “they wondered” as many times as you need to. Put the em dash there, put in too many commas, use semi-colons with reckless abandon. Type in [whatever] instead of thinking up a title for something. Just write it. If you worry too much about the particulars, about all the advice posts you’ve seen saying whatever you’re doing is wrong or not good enough, you won’t get anything done. It will slow you down as you go back and try to reword what you just wrote to make it better, proper. The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done. And when you get to the end, you’ll find that all those “mistakes” are just clues for your future self to put together to make it all better.
Putting in adverbs and certain dialogue tags are a note for you as to who is saying something and how they’re saying it. When you’re editing, you can make sure it shows through the story instead. The word “suddenly” is a reminder to make things more abrupt. The first draft is just you mapping out where you want to go and how you want to get there. Don’t waste time trying to get it 100% right now, because then it will never get done. Don’t think too much– just write. Save the thinking for editing later.
I’ve been a fool!
How often is Stan sad, for whatever reason, and he’s a sulker. Always looking worriedly into the distance, sighing heavily, hiding his head on his knees… and Richie sidles up next to him and like, pokes him and is like “Staaaaaan…”
And Stan mumbles “Stop it Richie,” and Richie spends the next indeterminate period of time making bad jokes and doing lame impressions and Stan’s like “You’re not funny Richie,” but Richie is like “Then why are you smiling?”
And Stan’s like “I’m not smiling!” Only because of that he has to start fighting back a smile. And pretty soon Richie cracks his worst joke yet and Stan full on grins and Richie’s like “Holy shit we’re witnessing a miracle!” and he does another terrible impression and Stan pushes Richie away like “I mean it Richie,” only it’s too late.
Because Stan is full on giggling now, and then Richie goes in for the kill: Stan is ticklish. Only Richie has access to this arcane and powerful knowledge. Stan basically made Richie swear not to tell anyone else, and as collateral he has a polaroid of Richie dressed up as Sailor Moon.
It’s too effective, and soon Stan is crying laughing and he forgot what he was even moping about. And Richie sing songs his refrain of “Smile for me Stanley!”
Because Richie wants everyone around him to be happy. If Richie can’t be happy, he tries his hardest to make everyone else happy. Poor Richie. Good thing Stan is a perceptive bitch! Because when Richie is down he always brings him little gifts. Home baked cookies, the latest comic book Richie was eyeing at the store after he blew his allowance on ice cream, maybe a pressed wildflower??
okay im on anon but only because this take is too hot but; ben is the most shippable loser because everyone is in love with him. mike is a close second but only because the losers met ben first and were already in love with him when they met mike
i sent murryn ( @pattyblumuris ) a screenshot of my inbox yesterday to show her a different ask and the first thing she said was “the second anon [this one] is right and should say it” like before even responding to what the screenshot was about and that pretty much sums up how i feel about this! ben 🤝 mike always (also while we’re on the topic. i KNOW bike is hanbrough but if i ever say bike there’s a 50/50 chance i’m talking abt ben/mike bc their other real option is. men. which is worse i think... recently i’ve been playing with benlon as well)
richie teases ben like. constantly. partially bc he has no filter at times but also partially bc he’s constantly craving ways to express affection whilst deeply afraid of being vulnerable and so he wraps up his truth and affection in amusement, presents in a way that’s easier for him to swallow. and sometimes he thinks ben’s the bravest of them all, because he cares so genuinely and openly and earnestly, and that’s kind of mind-blowing, even if it’s corny. anyway richie’s constantly slinging an arm over his shoulder, flopping down with his legs on ben’s lap when sitting in the grass in spring time, dramatically fake fainting into his arms bc he knows ben will always catch him (yes this is a scene in the fic i’m currently writing don’t @ me those of u with access to the google doc)
genuinely don’t let me talk about denscom i simply won’t shut up. something i will always thank the muschietti films for is denscom rights. the first time i saw ben on the back of silver in chapter one?? showstopping. and chapter two is so funny with the love triangle bc i swear mcavoy’s bill spent more time giving ben Looks than he did looking at bev (like hanbrough rights but also bill @ ben in the cistern > adult bill @ anyone other than mike all film). anyway ben sits in bill’s heart from the moment he sits with eddie when bill has to go run fill up his inhaler and sometimes they just sit together and sketch things (ben sketches designs. bill sketches ben)
stan and ben are so different at first glance that sometimes it surprises people who don’t know them how much they love each other. but ben sits patiently with stan, listens to him talk, listens actively and intently, and cares. richie is stan’s best friend, but ben’s the one stan goes to when he wants to exist quietly in a space. they’re very good at making space for each other. richie’s also the one ben goes to when discussing the mathematics and physics of architecture, but stan’s the one he talks his ideas out with, the one who listens and thinks and frames things in the context of what they’re useful for, in the context of what’s real. (stan takes a little bit to warm up to ben, but one day ben just. it’s something so small, so simple, but they’re outside, and richie and bill are fucking around, and ben just moves stan’s sweater out of their path of chaos. stan doesn’t ask him to, and ben doesn’t even move his own stuff—he’s just thoughtful enough to show care to stan’s belongings, and stan just. loves him in that moment)
eddie’s a bit of a motormouth, but even though he’s just listed off twenty three reasons why they shouldn’t help ben (ben counted), he gets supplies and immediately sets about to patching him up anyway. when ben doesn’t even know eddie, not really, he sits with him, has his back when bill goes to fill his inhaler, is a constant target for bowers and his cronies and yet stubbornly sticks by the side of a vulnerable boy he barely knows. eddie doesn’t love widely, but he loves fiercely, ferociously, completely, and that is how he loves ben. (ben loves more gently, in a way that isn’t cautious but is careful, like he knows how delicate hearts are to hold. one day, when ben waits at the altar as richie walks alongside the woman he loves, eddie stands at his side. eddie’s love is an unwavering force, and it’s what ben wants at his side that day)
bev loves bill like he’s an escape, like he’s an answer. bev loves ben like breathing. she’s spent her life looking for exits, and ben makes her feel safe enough that she finally learns how to stand still. he’s endearing and lonely and alone, he’s soft and gently courageous, he’s a constant target who throws himself immediately into the crossfire for her. she loves him at eleven, thirteen, sixteen, forever. january embers and a smile to herself at the edge of the bathtub, sure, but also: the way he grins as he hums to his music, his hand in hers as he helps her to her feet, the good natured way he rolls his eyes at richie’s ribbing. she buys sweaters several sizes too big, just so they can share them. she’s a little in love with him years before she’s a lot in love with him, and he’s the kind of selfless that never fails to take her breath away, because she never got to see that much of it before she met him
when ben meets mike, it’s a fight, but they’ve always felt like peace to each other. they’re the ones to say wait a minute, let him speak — they’re the ones to trade smirks when richie and bill make indignant noises after the ben and mike team up with bev to prank the other two — they’re the ones to bring easy smiles when meeting new people, earnest and genuine and so fucking funny at two am that stan literally cries from laughing when they’re studying for exams in their final year of high school. they love each other immediately, trust each other wholly, and the others just, like, shrug, because... yeah. they’re a little in love with both of them too. they totally get it
“I would say it was Dad who implemented all of this […] my alienation through procedures, through harsh […] all followed for fear of the alternative. And to an ex[tent?] […] true. I can’t forgive what he did to me - but somet[…] where Dad’s actions ended and my siblings’ beg[an] […] consider what a mind, especially a young mind […] harness when put into dire situations, it’s not […] believe that my siblings learned cruelty from […] [ev]entually made it their own. It wasn’t just th[e] […] of top-secret meetings, anymore. It jus[t] […] [wou]ld sit at the end of the table, so Die[go] […]ique, or so Allison could paint Klaus’ […]omed to sulking and watching the […] oatmeal went uneaten and […]
(p.???)
Meals became the only time of day […] to be together - and I met them with equal parts […] and dread. Would today be the day I [engaged Allison?] […] stand up to Diego’s taunts? Maybe I’d show Five […] I’d been working on for years. Though prone to arrogance and […] than the average preteen, Five was my sole confidant years before he [disappeared] […] It almost seemed fitting […] the siblings to leave […] ////////////// Dad’s manipulation […]
[Five’s hand obscures the page.]
One morning […] ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// behind, I think I even […] from home following me when […] a bus stop, and I sat there all day long […] ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// had thought I was alone my future life […] something new and entirely different. I was afraid of what […] and would [choose Dad’s torment any day?] dark stretched down our street. […] waved the kind drivers away. That night I walked […] front doors, and no one knew I had ever left to […] I wonder how long it would have […] extra girl they never needed was […] To this day, I’m not sure. The next time […] when we all did. After what happened to […] everyday existence was full of evidence that Dad […] into […] experiments. Not children […]mals. And what happened to Ben was the […] shattered the illusion for the others. I […] all along what they realized that day. I didn’t […] to leave on my own. It wasn’t until Allison […]ood and Diego [cursed out?] the old man […] were ultimately a broken family. […] that my family would accept me into the fold. I […] [as] long as there was a [club?] to […] to […] notice me and invited me to. Everyone would […]ya, we can’t believe we’ve wasted so much […] you’re our sister after all. […] it was then that I realized something […]ing for me to aspire to be anymore. It was liberat[ing] […] that I had wanted for as long as I could remember […]y fallen apart. Without The Umbrella Academy […] [fre]edom to be whomever I chose. Suddenly, my violin [was]n’t stupid - it was something that made me special.”
(p.??-??)
Extracts from Vanya Hargreeves, Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven,[TUA 1X05]
Things to conclude from this extract:
Reginald Hargreeves was an A-grade Bad Dad, whose iron fisted rule ensured the children internalised Vanya’s exclusion from the ‘club’, and would ostracise her from any social activities from a young age. Vanya attributes this in part to the ‘dire situation’ of their childhood under Reginald’s strict tutelage, but cannot forgive their inability to think for themselves.
Five & Vanya: Five was Vanya’s sole confidant, but despite this, she spent years working on something (perhaps practising her violin?) without sharing it with him or anyone else, for fear of rejection and ridicule.
Vanya & the others: perhaps felt intimidated by Allison (did not feel confident enough to ‘engage’ her - in conversation? Confrontation?) and was taunted by Diego.
Vanya ran away: she went so far as to spend all day sitting at a bus stop, wondering if anyone would miss her. However, she lacked the confidence to run away, and returned to the Academy - where no one had noticed she was gone.
Reginald’s Star Pupil: It’s implied Reginald felt the loss of Five acutely, and trained the other children past even the most tenuous ethical guidelines to compensate for his absence. It was not until Ben died, possibly as a result of these experiments, that the others finally started thinking for themselves. However, even now, they did not realise their treatment of Vanya, and did not welcome her ‘into the fold’.
Diego swore at Reginald, probably until he was blue in the face.
Something special: Vanya realised her hopes for reconciliation with her siblings were ultimately empty. All those ‘extraordinary’ people in her life were still cruel, even without Reginald’s guiding hand. But for Vanya, it was a moment of epiphany. Where her violin had once been an embarrassment in comparison to the talents of her siblings, it was now something special all its own.
Something else to consider: Why is this (the part about his own preteen angst and disappearance) the passage Five reads as he considers the error in his calculations? Is it a fixed point in time? Is this the ‘quantum state version’ of himself he projected himself into?
Can't add polls to reblogs, but @mercedesrollinballer was talking of one to settle this matter. (@mistysnat started it all)
Yellowjackets! Alive, but failing at every instance. Who's doing it the worst? Your pick! Arguments for each are under the Read, but if you are sure of your losing dog, then vote here!
PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT
Teen Eats dirt and is not aware of her shadow-self to an embarassing degree. Sets up an expedition to get to civilization with only a bit of rations and a compass, and nearly gets her gf killed (they don't find help btw). Her rushed funeral for clown Jackie indirectly causes the cannibalism. "You ate her face, Tai" and she didn't even remember it.
Adult Hires a vague hitman to spy on her surviving teammates because what are social skills? Has a Gorgeous wife and stable home and then chooses politics. Leaves her wife in a coma and her son with his gran to hitchhike to her ex because yea her evil double said so and that is definitely legit. Claims to be a skeptic about rituals until she is in the clear and can participate on the safe side lol. Marries a rock?? Is not getting that re-election.
Teen Thinks screwing her bestie's beard is what will solve things. Related: is pregnant while stuck in the woods. Related: did not raise the baby to hunt down Jeff like she said she would. Verbal communication? We bottle up our emotions and then write them down on paper for everyone to read. Did a silly voice while playing around as the vessel for hunter guy in the seance. EVERY SECOND OF HER IN THE SHED WITH POPSICLE JACKIE. Throws a fit over not being crowned cannibal queen.
Adult Totally living her dream life. Thinks a posh british accent is sexy in her furniture store roleplay. Got in a fender bender with some guy, cheated with him, then murdered him and hid his body. Still hallucinates her bestie hanging around. Can only seem to find some joy in her life through Violence (maybe skip the sex-therapist and go looking for one that deals with anger issues). Thought that she Had to murder a baby goat when nobody said a word about that. Got hunted lol.
Teen Unhinged from the start. No social skills. Has the hots for her gay coach. Destroys the flight recorder because "uwu then people will need me" and not think about the consequences. People ditch her for the most part after first-aid isn't needed anymore (happy now, Misty?). Throws psychedelics in the stew (banned from kitchen). Snitches on Jackie not taking part in the saying thanks, which sparks the fight with Shauna, which gets Jackie dead, despite Jackie being one of the few (maybe only?) people to be nice to her. Speaking of, gets a new bestie and has her falling off the shit cliff. Cannot read the room during a baby shower. Theater kid. Has no cast-appointed middle name, but the fic-appointed one is "fucking" Adult Works in elderly care so she can munchausen someone in case she need a mood boost. Forces herself in Natalie's life. Is on true-crime reddit. Her only friend is a parrot. Has a murder basement that she doesn't actually use for murder. Reads trashy romance novels. Overshares on a first date. Hangs out with a dude and lets him reduce her talents to a shrivel. Infiltrates a cult for shits and giggles. "Misty, you actually killed somebody" KILLS HER FRIEND. SHE ACCIDENTALLY KILLS HER FRIEND