I Feel So Much Stress That I Want To Pack Up My Bag In Middle Of The Night, Run Away From Home, Change

I have a headcanon that Kunikida ounce ran into Port Mafia Skk when he was in highschool. He saw them commit extortion or some illegal shit but he couldn't understand what they were trying to do (he thought they were doing a student film). And Dazai and Chuuya decided they can't let a witness roam free so they try to intimidate Kunikida.

Chuuya, holding bullets: where do you think you are going brat?

Dazai, pointing a gun at Kunikida: my my you look like you are in a hurry, not for long~

Kunikida, raises his hands: okay, this is getting too in character, I won't interrupt your shoot. Let me go.

Chuuya: what are you talking about? The only thing we will shoot is YOU

Kunikida: hey, hey....what is a little kid like you doing with bullets!

Chuuya: WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLED A LITTLE KID, BITCH?

Dazai: calm down, Chuuya. He's not wrong

Chuuya: wipe that smug smile off your stupid face, Shithead

Dazai: I think you need a timeout Chuuya. You are being very naughty today!

*Kunikida watching them having arguments*

Kunikida: hey, guys. Please let me go. I have class in two minutes, it's my final year, I have entrance exams to study for

Chuuya: wait...you go to school?

Kunikida:....yes?

Dazai: how is it like?

Kunikida: it's good for me, since I am the student council president and the top student but for most people it's terrible

Dazai: I wonder what it's like, to go to a normal school...

Kunikida: who doesn't go to a school?

*Chuuya and Dazai have a discussion between themselves*

Chuuya: we are letting you go on one condition, you won't tell what happened here to any one.

Kunikida: I don't even know what's happening here but sure, I won't open my mouth. Can I go? I am late!

Dazai: enjoy the freedom my friend, as long as you can

Kunikida, on his way to school: what the fuck just happened

They all forget what happened that day because of more important things that came next. But one day Kunikida witnesses Dazai and Chuuya having an argument and he gets deja vu, as if he has heard those same things before......

(most of the characters didn't have a normal childhood and that will forever haunt me~)

Dazai saves Chuuya's number as "My financial help" because he borrows/steals a LOT of money from Chuuya. And one day Atsushi reads the call ID accidentally when Dazai is on phone and talking to Chuuya, and Atsushi only sees "My finance", which his brain interprets as "My fiancè".

And......

Atsushi with flowers: Congratulations, Chuuya-san on your engagement. I guess you are keeping it low-key now 😄

Chuuya, confused: what?

Dazai, gasps: woah Chuuya you are engaged? Who is it?

Atsushi: Oh come Dazai-san, you can't lie to me. You and Chuuya-san are getting married

Chuuya: WHAT???😨

Dazai: did you hear that Chuuya? We are getting married!!!!🥰

Yosano: congrats you two 🍷

Kunikida: at least tell your colleagues about your marital status...

Kyouka: I have to tell Ane-san this, she will be furious

Kenji: a wedding in the agency!!!! I'll bring a cow for the dinner!

Junichiro: I can't believe you two went through with it! Congratulations!

Ranpo: Will there be a huge cake in the wedding? Or else I won't come 🍭

Fukuzawa: does Mori know about this?

Chuuya: WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED. WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

Dazai: Chuuya now this is peer pressure, we HAVE to get married 😚

Chuuya: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO CHIPPY

*ten years later*

Dazai: Thank you Atsushi-kun for getting Chuuya to marry me

Atsushi: Dazai-san, you two have divorced three times by now

Dazai: Fourth time's the charm!!!

James giving Oliver a "not so brotherly kiss": YES GO!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY! FINALLY! MY SHIP HAS SAILED!

Charles giving Camilla a "not so brotherly kiss": ........WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BOOK

If INTP was in The Office:

INTP: My job as a sales person made me realise how much I hate people

(Looks sideways from camera at the cameraman)

INTP: I hate when people are prying into my life.....cuz guess what? I have nothing interesting in it....except Pam, Pam is awesome.

(Gets questioned if he likes Pam)

INTP: No, not really. I like her a lot, which is surprising since I don't like many people here *mouths Angela*

INTP: now Pam and I are good friends, I do believe she hates her fiance tho...but what can I do about it?

(Gets questioned about his work)

INTP: I come late everyday, Dwight is always mad at me being late, I don't care much. I check in my computer and play Pac man while talking to stupid clients like an idiot selling paper which won't be useful in a future paperless world.

INTP: then I take a 2 hour break and pretend to be friends with Micheal to justify my 2 hour break.

INTP: I have lunch in my car so I won't have to see Kevin eating 4 tuna sandwiches in one go.

INTP: I spend time with Toby, he is like the only normal person here. We sit down and mumble about our misery.

INTP: I hate Andy, he is so annoying, I have to hide in the bathroom to avoid his constant brags about Cornell. I mean I went to Yale, and now I am a paper salesman *shrugs* this is always how it ends.

(Gets questioned about Jim and Pam)

(Looks at the camera)

INTP: everyone knows they are in love. It's not even a question at this point.

*Atsushi drinking for the first time with the ADA*

Dazai: Atsushi-kun now that you have drunk, say goodbye to your childhood, you are an adult now!!!

Atsushi, smiling obliviously: I never had a childhood.

Dazai:

ADA:

Dazai: me neither

Yosano: Have any of us had a normal childhood?

Ranpo: I had a dad when I was 14, does that count?

Kunikida: how many of you have gone to a proper school?

*no one answers*

Dazai: but most of us have killed people!

Kunikida: is that a good thing?

Just felt like I haven't re-read TSH in a while. So I wondered if I could write a full blown essay (not really, more like a brief analysis) on the characters from TSH.

I might not even end up writing them but I would like to know which characters people are most interested in learning in-depth about.

There's so much to say about this story that no one can ever stop analysing it. If Donna took 10 years to complete it, there must be so much we can discuss about it!!!

I will try to write a detailed analysis when I have the time to re-read TSH (studying for exams, writing a book and reading "The Bell Jar" and "Pet Sematary" for the 1st time lol)

I hope this will inspire people to make more post abt TSH theories/analysis/thoughts (been tired with the regular mood boards and quotes)

(PS: "Looking Through The Male Gaze" for Camilla is about Richard's gaze, not Donna Tartt's)

Camilla: If I fall…

Charles: I’ll be there to catch you.

Francis: *looks at Richard* What if I fall?

Richard: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Bunny : *watches these two interactions*

Bunny, to Henry: And if I fall?

Henry: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

Re-read TSH.....AGAIN

Here are some weird/wtf/sad moments and details I had forgotten:

•Henry wrote a diary entry about murdering a guy 🤨.

•then forgets that Bunny is capable enough to translate the diary entries and find out about the murder.

•Richard has a random thought about r-wording Camilla out of nowhere (*What the fuck Richard vine plays in the background*) 😳.

•The first time Richard sees the twins he thinks they are a couple..........hmm (I was sus about that from the start) 😶.

•Richard had two pages of internal monologue about Henry being gay.

•There was broken stuff in the twins dorm, which was due to Charles trashing the house whenever he is mad at Camilla (FUCK CHARLES).

•Franics was making passes at Richard multiple times.

•Francis and Camilla kissed for some reason, twice.

•Richard only studied greek before to have a language class that's in the afternoon so he could sleep late in the morning (sometimes I feel like he survives only on pure instinct).

•Richard was constantly finassing his employer.

•Henry and Charles were ready to throw hands at Judy (do NOT touch the queen you freaks).

•Henry planned multiple murder options for Bunny (💫dumb ways to die💫).

•Richard had no problem being an accomplice in murder for people he barely knows.

•Bunny drops multiple hints about the murder the others did early on.

•Nobody tried to save Camilla way before if they knew Charles's controlling nature (Henry taking her away was the best thing he ever did).

•Camilla and Henry had secret telephone codes.

•Francis was forced to have a lavender marriage 😭.

•all of this shit went down during one academic year.

•Camilla's whole purpose was to give storylines to Henry, Charles and Richard. She deserved so much better than that. And I don't want her to ever stay around any of the guys of the group (except for Francis).

•Julian was blissfully aware of the obsessive nature of his students, and not only encouraged it but directly lit the fire that caused them to become who they are. (He tried to pull a John Keating from DPS, but he could NEVER be the Dark Academia teacher icon)

BONUS:

Tally of the members of the greek gang who have kissed eachother (NOT COUNTING THE BACCHANAL, where they all fucked.....Idk what happens in a bacchanal, I am too scared to research)

Camilla: 4 (Henry, Francis, Charles, Richard)

Francis: 3 (Charles, Camilla, Richard)

Richard: 2 (Francis, Camilla)

Charles: 2 (Francis, Camilla)

Henry: 1 (Camilla)

Bunny: 0 (RIP, I guess 😅)

Characters that fascinate me:

1. Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter): after re-reading HP again, I started to put more effort on dissecting the interactions between Dumbledore and other people, especially Harry and Snape. Dumbledore's strategies, plans and the use of emotions of other people for his favours and for the greater good is for me unlike what most people consider, admirable. I have heard many people mention the fact they hate Dumble's because he is "evil", I like morally grey characters and the fact is Dumbledore's actions were not evil in any way. Did he raise Harry to die? Yes. But that doesn't mean he did that for fun (or ounce presented a way to save Harry he didn't make sure to prevent his death). Every step Dumbledore took was to defeat Voldy in the end, who was committing mass genocide. To prevent deaths of hundreds, thousands of people, it was okay for him to sacrifice certain people (mostly Himself, Harry and Snape). I also think Dumbledore could or should have been in Ravenclaw or Slytherin because his qualities matches those houses more than Gryffindor (also can you imagine how conflicting it would have been for Harry if Dumbledore causally mentions he is a Slytherin or if he was a Ravenclaw there could have been more characters in that house than Quirrell and Lockhart of all people)

2.  Daria Morgendorffer (Daria): if there was a character that I could relate to the most, it's her. Daria's cynical outlook, her quick wit, her quotes are so entertaining to watch. Its really amazing to be able to have a character that represents the perceptions of the quiet kids. As one of them, Daria is the representation of rebellion against the power hungry, capitalistic and tone deaf world we live in.

3. Amy Dunne (Gone Girl): this woman sacres me. She is the epitome of the perfectly imperfect villainous yet fascinating character that captures your attention. She is a psychopath. She is a liar. She is deranged. And I can't help liking her as a complex person.

4. Wanda Maximoff (Wandavison): from her ability to manipulate the minds of all the original avengers (except Hawkeye) in age of Ultron to her batshit crazy powers in multiverse of madness (including the fact defeating the entire illuminati while dream walking), Wanda had come far from being just another avenger to one of most powerful beings in the current MCU. And all of that due to a mother's love, shows you how powerful loss and love can be.

5. L. Lawliet (Death Note): world's top three detectives, the boy who stopped WW3 as a kid, the blueprint for Wammy's house, the deductive genius who almost captured the worst serial killer in history. L will never cease to be interesting. His backstory reveals that L was always the best, no matter if he could defeat Light Yagami or not (he sort of did defeat Light as he knew Light was Kira the 1st time he met him). The most interesting aspect of L is how neutral his moral ideals are, on one hand he spends all this time (literally, as he doesn't sleep) to solve the Kira case, on the other hand he isn't reluctant to play with people's emotions and sacrifice certain people to reach his end goals. While L is the antagonist, everyone loves him as the hero to Light's protagonist villain. I do love L as much as the next person; what I love more than that is how he is just as morally grey as Light but stays on the grey part and never becomes the villain he could be, something that Light became.

6. Allison Dilaurentis (Pretty Little Liars): in my opinion, the most evil of the onscreen Mean girls (except for Courtney Shane and Chanel Oberlin). Allison in the first few seasons was the most fascinating aspect of the show, the sheer power she holds in Rosewood, the way she manipulates all her friends, the way she could destroy lives of anyone she wants is the best part of her character. But after her return from the "dead" she became kinda boring and not the fantastic villain we wished she was. Like, they could have made Aria "A" instead of evil British cousin and made Allison the one controlling Aria, as it was clear Aria was hiding something about herself, the show also gave many clues about her and she seemed be the person Allison liked the most among the liars (she also got the least torment from Allison as well as A). It makes sense if they were both working together. But no, that's too predictable! You have to pull the evil twin plot for shock value!!!!

7. Regulus Black (Harry Potter): he is the best example of a good Slytherin (*ahem* Snape *ahem*). The best thing about his arc is he used to be a death eater but changed sides after knowing how shitty Voldy is, protected his house elf and sacrificed his life for the world. And had a better reason for changing sides than someone very similar to him (*ahem* Snape *ahem*)

Ps: I did not die. Next time.

I am gonna take a break from TSH. Although it was because of that I started this blog. I have been very burned out with that book. I cleaned out my drafts. For the past three years of hyper-fixation made me learn about so many things. I have changed my opinions so much since I made my first post and it made me realise how you not only mature in age but also in your ideas about certain topics and characters.

It won't probably be my final post about TSH, I want to return to it a few years later to see it in a retrospective lens opposed to the rose-tinted one I wore when I completed the book for the first time.

My current thoughts on the characters;

Henry: loved him at first and I love him still. But for different reasons. I loved him when I first read the book because I was too in love with his character to realise the type of person he was. Even agreeing on his terrible decisions (ex: killing Bunny, bacchanal, etc...) but now I love him because he is so unhinged and terrible like the many morally grey/evil characters we all love.

Richard: for some reason I thought he was a good person who got wrapped in all this shit and wasn't bad. Now I think Richard is equally responsible for the tragedy by not reporting a murder and by being an actual accomplice to murder.

Camilla: my thoughts on her have changed the least. At first I used to think she was just the nicest of them. And then it changed to--- she is hiding a secret dark side or more layers we don't get to see.

Francis: I thought he was also the nicest, next to Camilla because he doesn't take any problematic actions. But it is his inability to take actions of his own that makes him bad. Although I still think he is underrated and often misunderstood

Charles: I couldn't stand Charles at first. And I can't just justify everything he did cuz he is terrible. It's just he is often used as a scapegoat to make Henry look better which I hate. He's a menace yes, but so is Henry!!!!!

Julian: I don't have a lot to say cuz we rarely see him. All I can say is he is not the mastermind of the whole story. He's a John Keating gone wrong example.

Bunny: my thoughts on Bunny have changed the most. From HATING him to feeling sympathy and even bad for him. I still won't agree he is somehow the best person out there, cuz he is definitely not. Bunny is hated to an extent that he doesn't deserve. And ounce and for all, he didn't deserve to die (I take back what I said about him in the past)

Judy: ounce a queen 👑 always a queen 👑

So this is it. Thanks TSH for being the bane and reason for my existence since the pandemic.

~ 🕊️