I Was Wondering Which Rare Pairs/underrated Ships People Love The Most

I'll wait for your theory babe! 😍

This is all I got from my shallow reading, I picked up on the message about choosing your friend groups correctly when Richard decides to not be a part of Judy's clique.

This is something a lot of people struggle in school and college, in choosing the right people to be friends with.

CLEARLY Richard has more going on than he lets on, he is an unreliable narrator after all (I ounce made a post about how I think he made everything up)

However this post was about choosing the wrong people as friends and not about Richard's character as a whole (I tried to write an analysis but it's been in the drafts for months now 😀)

I loveee it when people discuss this book because there's just so much to make theories and views on. I change my opinions every time I read it, in fact.

No matter how much you talk about it, it's never enough.

The Greek Class didn't destroy Richard, he brought that on himself.

He chose to be destroyed and I am sure a part of him wanted to be.

He's the type of person who wants to be different, to be admired, to be apart from normal people.

That's why he tried to get in the Greek class in the first place even when Julian rejected him ounce, he wanted to be with the elites, to be exclusive.

Richard does show remorse for his actions at times but that doesn't mean he didn't find it thrilling.

He wanted an adventure, to see a tragedy, to be part of something dramatic and exciting. He was bored in his little town, around distant parents and normal friends.

He has always felt like he was above other people and he does look down on others who don't understand or follow his ideals.

His idolization of the Greek class is the reason he got destroyed, he was blinded by the opportunity to be included and accepted by them that he didn't look back at the mistakes he made for them.

Richard's story is a cautionary tale about foregoing your sanity and ethics for a broken, one sided friendship. They used him again and again, he did everything for them. Never questioning what he was really doing.

In the end, he was never a part of their group.

He was just there.

The many stages of depression: (TW)

Depression is one of those feelings that a lot of people have experienced at least sometimes in their lives. It is quite correct to state that everyone at one point in their life have been through it or will go through it. Some get depressed more than others; it could be due to environment, abuse, loss, bullying, mental disorders, stress, poor health, etc.

It is something widely experienced but not widely explained. The mystery of why depression happens to certain people can boil down to their psychological state but should not be considered the single parameter for its existence. Depression like cancer can happen to anyone regardless of any amount of money, status, love or psycological wellness they have. And like Cancer you can't just tell someone with depression to just ignore it or say they are overreacting.

As someone who goes through bouts of seasonal depression and lives in a place where depression is not even considered "real". I have broken down depression according to personal experience into 5 stages.

I am not a medical professional ( I do want to become a psychologist) or someone who can give advice on this topic. But as a patient of depression for around 2 years I can give a little insight into it. Just because I said there are 5 stages doesn’t mean it has to be these stages only, or in the same order.

Here it goes:

1. Anger: just like the stages of grief I always thought the 1st step towards depression starts with anger. It could be outbursts, sudden rage, irritation, annoyance, physical reactions such as intensive urge to kick or punch something (I always have days when I want to burn buildings down and kill my classmates). These reactions can be due to the sudden change in mentality we get before full blown depression kicks in. When we just hate every thing. Everything is stupid. Everyone is being annoying. One of our 1st reactions to anything upsetting is to be mad about it. Depression is not an exception. Anger is where you start. When you start to blame everything around your for causing the pain you are going through. This stage is very important, it is always good to take out your anger before it becomes too much. During this stage I am at my peak of annoyance and can be diabolical.

2. Paranoia: the stage that continues what anger started. This is when realisation kicks in that something is wrong in your mind. You can become paranoid of everything around you. Why is my friend ignoring me for 5 minutes? Why did my parents became quiet when I walked in? Why does it feel like someone is watching me? Why can’t I trust anyone? This is when you are at your peak in terms of insanity. I have been in this stage for the most part of my depressive episodes. Especially as an intuitive, paranoia can be disturbing and harmful to your mental health. It makes you question silly things that don’t even matter for the sake of increasing your blood pressure and start to isolate you from social life. That’s where stage 3 will come

3. Withdrawal: not the withdrawal due to addiction. This is when you start isolating yourself from others. Paranoia put the seed of doubt in your mind about people and how you don’t want them to be near you. People can be a problem sometimes. And this stage is just what being isolated means. This is also the stage people are the most familiar with, because it is often what depression is portrayed as: isolating yourself from other humans as way to build a wall to protect yourself from what paranoia caused. During this time I stop taking calls from my friends, family, anyone. I stop messaging or replying. I often stopped eating with family or having lunch at school with my friends. As an introvert this stage isn’t even that hard, but there is a difference between the choice of isolating yourself because you don’t like to be around strange people and the want to isolate from people you care about.

4. Sadness: the most well known stage of depression, some people mistake it for the definition of depression, which is so wrong. After isolating yourself, you become vulnerable. This is that stage of vulnerability and mostly when people start to have negative thoughts (suicidal thoughts). Sadness itself can’t be explained that well, other than that it leads negativity, hopelessness and the lack of interest in anything cheerful. When I get into this stage, my depression is the most apparent to other people. This is when my mom steps in and ask if things are wrong. And I say #fine when I am so not. Sadness can manifest in tears, coldness, increased self awareness, intrusive and harmful thoughts etc. This is one of the hardest and longest stages to overcome. Yet not as harmful as the next one…

5. Numbness: let me deep breathe before this……this is the most dangerous stage of depression. Every stage before this one had some sort of emotion in it. Anger, paranoia, withdrawn, sadness. But Numbness is the lack of any emotion that can be experienced, even negative ones. You lose all your hope. All your wishes and goals. Everything becomes a barren wasteland of nothingness. The lack of emotions is the worst thing that can happen to you. Just like how you die when your heart stops beating, having numbness to emotions will as in many cases lead to death. Unfortunately, this is the stage when most suicides take places. The inability to have any interest in life and getting overwhelmed from the fact you stopped living the moment you stopped feeling. Have I been in this stage? Yes. But since I am alive there must be a way out of it.

When I said 5 stages of depression, it was meant for those who sadly ended their lives because of it. Stage 6 is for those who made it out alive.

6. Acceptance: again like the stages of grief Depression ends with acceptance. Accepting your problems (I am the problem it's me!), accepting yourself as a problem, accepting help from people who care for you and accepting the little hope left deep down. If you made it to this stage, you are capable of doing anything you want.

Note: You are worth it! (Can't believe I AM saying this) And if you are going through depression or anything related to that, remember that one of reasons to stay alive is to pull revenge on all the people you hate. Maybe in future you can show your haters that the reason they hate you is beacuse of how strong willed you are. You don't have to prove your talents. You don't have to accomplish things to justify your existence. You are here for nobody but yourself. Be selfish, be a bitch and live out the best life there is.

There's a Olivia Rodrigo song for every emotion. (I LOVE ALL OF THEM)

Brutal: I hate this world so much

Traitor: I got cheated on/my friend found a new friend

Driver's license: I miss my ex/ex-friend

1 step forward, 3 steps back: toxic relationships and issues you can't leave

Deja vu: I can't believe he/she/they replaced me!

Good 4 u: oh so you have moved on from me...sure...ahahhah...I am not mad...hahhahah...(ur dead)

Enough for you: I changed everything about myself because ur shit

Happier: maybe you can be less happy, there are some sensitive people around!

Jealousy Jealousy: self explanatory (also "everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick" ~Draco Malfoy)

Favourite Crime: I know u are a felon and a criminal but you have a sweet side and a tender heart only I can change!

Hope ur ok: (cries) address the letters to the holes of my butterfly wings (cries some more)

Can we talk about how Richard thinks of Judy Poovey as a weirdo, when she is less chaotic and insane than all of the Greek gang members.

Judy Poovey didn't do rituals in the forest that involved a bacchanal, searching for Dionysus.

Judy Poovey didn't push her best friend off a cliff.

Judy Poovey didn't cover up two murders for aesthetically pleasing reasons.

She is the most sane person out of all of them.

On the other hand, everyone that is not in the Greek class, thinks of them as the weirdos, which just shows how something that is cool and sane for one person can't be for another.

My main character syndrome is so high that whenever I get into a problem I just go "this is how the plot is supposed to be, it will help in my character development"

(doing this again cuz it was fun)

*Atsushi and Akutagawa got called to Aya's school*

Teacher: Aya punched another student and broke his nose. Both of them fought.

Atsushi, anxious: SHE what? She never acts like that please believe me! I apologise for her actions

Akutagawa, looking at his watch and tapping his feet: do we have to pay damages?

Atsushi: this is not the time for that? Aya-chan, apologise!

Aya: I am not apologising! Daddy, that kid said you are a terrorist and dad is a criminal

Atsushi: no we are not

Akutagawa: we aren't?

Atsushi, gritting his teeth: you're not helping here

Teacher: it's okay...Aya and the kid can talk it out tomorrow and say sorry.

*they get home*

Aya: you're mean, I was defending you!

Atsushi: why am I the villain here. Why aren't you reprimanding her, Akutagawa?

*Akutagawa leans towards Aya and whispers in her ear*

Akutagawa: so who won the fight? Did you?

Atsushi: RYUUNOSUKE----

Read from page 90 to 112 ☠️

I wish I could read for longer but my habit is dying away~~~

There are so many details in this one book that it makes complete sense why Donna Tartt took a decade to write it

I can analyse it for a decade and still not understand everything and know every detail 😭😭😭😭

Do people really think that skk hate eachother?

After the fight with Lovecraft, we have a scene where Dazai smiles at Chuuya; this is one of the only genuine smiles we ever get from Dazai. Most of the time he is playing up a facade and he is very hard to read but he always seems to smile more genuinely when he is around Chuuya, especially when Chuuya isn't looking at him.

What I think those two have are very complicated feelings that haven't changed since they were 15-18.

Skk never got to be friends, they were always partners, "Double Black", Port Mafia's prodigies. They didn't get the chance to just be kids and see the better sides of eachother, their relationship didn't grow organically over the years but became stunted at a time when both of them were only teenagers. Thrust in an environment where there's not much positivity, Skk were always at odds because of their clashing personalities and mutual dislike (and their similarities)

I don't think that dislike ever became hate. I think they did become closer as the years passed, but then of course Dazai left.

While saying Chuuya was sad when Dazai left is a way to show their care for eachother. I would say, Chuuya was REALLY angry when Dazai left (that's why he drank that expensive wine, it was out of spite). How can he leave? Does he have no loyalty to the PM? Does he have no loyalty to Chuuya? They were partners, he can't just leave without a word.

Dazai left without a word because he knew how mad Chuuya would be at him when he finds out, he knew if he thought about Chuuya there would be a part of him that wouldn't want to leave this partnership that they have had since three years. It was something that gave him excitement in this "worthless thing they call living" it was his will to live. He also didn't want the PM to think Chuuya was involved with him and helped him in leaving.

I do think Dazai leaving PM made Chuuya dislike him even more. Dazai was not only annoying, he was also disloyal.

But when it comes to Dazai, I don't think he hated Chuuya at all. His fondness for Chuuya is what makes him not want to like him. It's the same way Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor for being the only one who understands him. Dazai doesn't want to kill Chuuya, when he says "I have been thinking about ways to kill Chuuya since 7 years" it's a lie, a joke for him, a facade. He could have done that any time in 7 years but he chose not to. He knows when it comes to it, he can't kill Chuuya.

Chuuya would say he hates Dazai but goes out of his way to save him everytime. In Dead Apple, he risked his own life to save Dazai who could have been dead for all he knew. But he still took the chance, believing that Dazai would have a plan and that he would know that Chuuya is going to risk it. (Also I wholeheartedly believe Dazai has some fantasies about being rescued by Chuuya, that Mf totally does)

Their trust in eachother is so strong, that even when they are on the enemy side, they are able to work together, putting their differences apart. They have never had a "real" fight like Atsushi and Akutagawa, it's more of snide remarks and calling nicknames, like their teenage selves.

I don't think Chuuya is aware of these complicated feelings, he has manifested his dislike of Dazai's antics and personality to a point he had hidden his care for him. On the other hand, Dazai is very aware of these feelings, he knows he cares. So he fakes it, acting out as usual the idea that he hates Chuuya, because he knows loving and caring for someone does not end well for him (look at Oda). He doesn't want to lose another person he cares for.

In retrospect as memeable and funny those two "confession" scenes are in S5; it's the first time Dazai is not lying, he is acknowledging his care for Chuuya in a way it feels authentic and real to Fyodor, so they could trick him. It's their plan, yes, but the reason it feels real is because IT IS. No wonder Chuuya shot him so many times ("Dazai's being stupid again, making me feel things, embarrassing me in front of the enemy").

This isn't a shipping post, I do ship Skk, but their bond is so deep that you can look at it in a platonic way and very little would change.

"We accept the love, we think we deserve"

- The perks of being a Wallflower.

So.....I deserve nothing ig?

Atsushi, confused after a mission: what exactly is the relationship between Dazai-san and Chuuya-san?

Fukuzawa: they are enemies

Kunikida: more like ex-coworkers

Yosano: definitely, enemies with benefits

Kyouka: best friends!

Kenji: they help each other out in times of great trouble like good neighbors :)

Junichiro: Aren't they rivals?

Naomi: I thought they were Ex-boyfriends!

Haruno: I heard they got divorced

Atsushi, even more confused: they were married????

*Everyone looks at Ranpo*

Ranpo, takes his Lollipop out: Gay.