Chapter 8 Of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite Up On AO3!

Chapter 9 of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite is up on AO3!

Read it here! Link

Guys, only one more chapter to go after this one! It's been so much fun posting this rewrite! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading! I can't wait to start the next movie rewrite soon!

In this chapter Magnifico gets sucked into his own black hole of misused magic, and goes through a change.

Excerpt: Magnifico was towed downward by the black hole’s current, the edges of his robes unraveling into threads. He felt himself stretching, as if time itself was taking him apart, strand by strand. Space had swapped places with time, and hurled him toward the void’s inevitable singularity. His head and feet pulled in opposite directions as intense gravity stretched him unthinkably thin. 

As his torso elongated, his legs did not immediately catch up, and the pressure on his head intensified. His arms and legs became uselessly long threads. Horrifically, the magic in his blood denied him death until he became a smeared streak, when his soul was finally released, then he floated out of himself.

Magnifico, now immaterial, continued his descent, then, below, in the blackness from which no light could escape, he began to see dozens of embers. It turns out some light survives after passing through the event horizon’s boundary. As Magnifico sank deeper, time crawled slower and slower, and the lights, getting closer, grew brighter, revealing themselves to be dimming stars. Not alive like the one he’d met, but cold, colourless orbs.

Gravity no longer affected him, so Magnifico floated leisurely through their midst.

The stars’ surfaces were webbed with cracks that spilled streams of gold like blood. Some flickered weakly, while others were grey and lightless, perhaps dead, but they were all doomed to spin round together in the current. One floated through Magnifico, its edges curled inward as if it were devouring itself. They clustered in groups, grazing each other, shedding shards of brilliance like falling snow, while a few floated alone, then disappeared into the blackness beyond. Magnifico watched one brighter star shrink away from him as if it knew he were there.

He watched the creeping shadows where the star vanished, that were creating patterns around him: an endless staircase led downward, each step dripping with despair as it dissolved into nothingness, then the shadows became piercing shards that hurled themselves at him, and stabbed through him, though they only passed through him like smoke. These burst into fragments like pieces of glass from his terrible mirrors, and Magnifico finally saw his own reflection in them. The eyes of his shadow self were empty and sunken, and he did not recognise himself.

The darkness closed in, and laughter rang out from each of his reflections, then Magnifico realised they were one and the same with him. At this understanding the dark magic's grip loosened a tiny bit, and he knew that to reclaim his sanity, he would have to confront these distortions of himself.

As he drifted further down, a shadow formed into the shape of a man.

“Is that. . .?” Now Magnifico knew he was dead. “I think I remember you.” The words he’d said to Asha earlier, during her interview echoed through his mind: “He was a philosopher, was he not? Had great magic running through his blood. Always warning people about the consequences of getting whatever your heart desires. . .”

It was him. Asha’s father, the renowned philosopher. The tall man with a short beard and an eyepatch over his right eye, whose hair still stuck straight up after being killed by lightning, spoke. “Remember when magic was the pursuit of knowledge, not a weapon of tyranny?”

Magnifico studied the philosopher, then he nearly laughed. “I should have known you would appear here to mock me. You always were popping up at the most inconvenient of times. But save your laughter. You speak falsely. Magic is not knowledge, it is power. That is all it has ever been.” He found communicating intuitive despite no longer having a body, and could not explain how.

Time became so slow it was as if they no longer moved at all, and Magnifico could not look away from the man.

“Is that all the philosophy you have gained in one and sixty years?” The philosopher’s gaze pierced him. “Or have you forgotten yourself in the midst of wielding power so mindlessly?”

Finish reading here: Link

Thoughts on Shipping and Romance

I’ve never really understood the way some fandoms treat ships, especially when romance is forced between any two characters just because they share a universe—whether they’re opposite genders or the same. It feels like people attribute way too much to romance, giving it credit for things that don’t actually have anything to do with it.

For instance, just because two characters experience an adventure together, that doesn’t automatically make it romantic. When characters reflect on their relationship and suddenly every interaction is seen through a romantic lens, I find it confusing. It erases the significance of other types of relationships, giving romance all the credit.

Take this example: Would character A not have risked their life for character B if they weren’t in love with them? Would they have refused to go on an adventure together if romance wasn’t involved? That seems to be the implication. But character A shows they care just as much about their other friends, without romance involved. And honestly, wouldn’t they be a bad person if they didn’t care about their friends just because there wasn’t romantic attraction?

To me, this shows that romantic attraction is overrated and gets credit for things that belong to other types of relationships—like friendship, camaraderie, or family bonds. These are often more important, especially in survivalist or intense adventure settings.

I’ve tried to express this before about ships from a certain book series, and my friends at the time insisted that I must be asexual. But I think that’s toxic. I don’t dislike romance; I just don’t think it’s being defined correctly in some cases. When I see certain ships, I don’t understand what’s uniquely romantic about them. It feels like people are using romance as a qualifier for meaning, when it’s not the only way relationships can be meaningful.

A relationship can grow into romance, but the distinction often isn’t clear in people’s minds. It’s like they see every stage of a relationship as inherently romantic, and nothing else. (This especially happens with boy and girl characters, but it can be any). I'm not sure if it's a very healthy way to view romance.

Does anyone else notice this?

ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!

Because the original had a lot of plot holes and wasn't satisfying.

What to expect:

1. Actually tells the Once-ler's whole story from beginning to end (no Ted)

2. Gives Once-ler more agency and develops his motives beyond "my family made me do it."

3. Includes "You're all going to jail!" scene

4. Animals die/the stakes are raised

5. Logical explanations for why they couldn't just plant more trees or use a ladder, why Once-ler didn't just plant the seed himself, etc.

6. The Lorax is actually significant

7. Characters like Once-ler's dad, Norma, and O'Hare are woven in, but don't steal the spotlight. (Example: Norma isn't an annoying girlfriend who steals the role of the Lorax).

8. NO ANNOYING OCS, MARY SUES, OR STUPID ROMANCES!!!!!!!!!! Just a straightforward, comprehensive narrative of what the movie should've been like.

This entire novel is complete and has been through multiple drafts. If you follow it, you can be sure that it does have an ending and the author knows where it's going with foreshadowing and extra plot twists. Chapters will be released each week.

So are boops kind of like an annual tumblr version of llamas on deviantart??? I'm still new here... In any case, seems fun to spam.

Chapter 7 of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite up on AO3!

It's up! Guys, I'm excited, Star Boy comes on the scene today. Read the story here: Link

Excerpt: Chapter Seven: The Duel

The Hamlet, a mossy place secluded by forest, where inhabitants made bread from pinecone flour, and kept more chickens than charts or charms, came into view. The moon cast it in sharp-edged shadows as Magnifico readied his staff, murmuring last incantations over it. Before leaving the castle, he’d imbued it with extra power from the night sky, using a spell from his only remaining book, the one he’d been reluctant to use because of its relation to dark sorcery. 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” he told himself, though he’d immediately locked the book away again after referencing this spell. He thought mournfully of the rest of his destroyed resources, original manuscripts he’d compiled, containing centuries of study by other sorcerers. “Now I have no idea what a star might be capable of.” He caressed his staff’s fine point that could stab if needed. “The hour has come.”

The carriage silently rolled to a stop behind a towering oak thick as a dragon’s tail, just on the hollow’s edge. Magnifico looked to the driver and raised a finger to his lips, then motioned for him to drive away unseen, as he stepped out into the Hamlet, and the crunch of leaves, which set a carpet of gold beneath his boots, was concealed by ceaseless clucking as chickens talked in their sleep inside their roosts. 

The hollow’s modest shielings, stone houses shaped like mushroom-caps, unadorned except by moss or the occasional clothes-line, stood huddled close together, intertwined with roots of trees for protection. The humble hollow did not look like the kind of place to hide a criminal. The king held his staff before him to light the way as he crept between the shieling huts and oaks tall as mountains. As he stepped over a root as thick as one of the castle's pillars, his foot landed on a pinecone, and he clasped a hand over his mouth when he nearly screamed. Just as he approached the centre of the cluster of homes, the staff began humming faintly, its sound growing in intensity. 

As the king crept, the staff’s hum shifted in pitch, resonating with a particularly small shieling hut which he paused in front of. He noted a faint glow seeping through its rough, timbre framed windows, and the murmur of voices within. Even muffled by stone walls, self-satisfied pauses emanated, it was the girl showing off, he knew that. Without hesitation, Magnifico raised his staff, then forced the door open with a bang.

The conversation stopped abruptly as Asha’s gaze met his, the recognition in her eyes confirming what the staff already indicated. Its sharp end was pointed up at the star hovering inches below the aisins.

“What folly is this?”

“It isn’t folly at all! It’s simply glorious!” The star did a somersault in the air.

He was a flicker of ghostfire in the form of a young man. Clad in changing hues of white, topaz, and misty red, his clothes echoed the night sky. His bright eyes held glints of mischief, and moving with grace, his cape trailed sparks behind him as he flew in and out the aisins, twisted a picture frame, peeked into a drawer, then sent a stack of books tumbling from a shelf, as if dropping stones from the sky. The playful spirit who’d come down from the heavens laughed, each note twinkling like a warning sign.

The star continued doing flips in the air as he addressed the king. “You see, mighty king, with a crown shining bright, the stars in the heavens dance all through the night. They laugh at your trials, they chuckle with glee, as they dance in the moonlight, wild and free. They meddle for fun, oh, but fret not dear king, for your country will fall, but it’s a burdensome thing.”

Asha laughed, and though she had a hand over her mouth, she looked impressed. “Star Boy,” she said.

Magnifico’s eyes blazed as he raised his staff, and he unleashed a striking green beam that cut through the air. Star Boy, now idly twirling a ribbon of stardust around his finger, tried to dodge, but was struck directly in the heart, and like a mosquito swatted, fell to the ground with an expression of stunned surprise, his stardust trail dim and scattered. 

From the floor he looked up at Magnifico, shaking off the remnants of the spell’s green glow. “All right, you’ve got me, you’ve proven your might, I underestimated you, and I’ve lost the fight.” He grinned, then added, “But watch your step king, as you tread. Anger the stars and you’ll find yourself dead.”

Magnifico’s staff crackled again, and he struck at Star Boy with a wave of green fire. The house’s beams groaned under the strain of magic, and shards of stone rained down.

Star Boy darted around, a streak of incomprehensible light, and he paused only to withdraw something from his pocket, a slim, pale stick he tossed down to Asha. “Take this wand, a gift from the heavens. You’re a fairy godmother now, my dear.”

“Aeeeeegh!” Asha let out an excited screech as she caught it. 

The wand was swiftly knocked from her hand by a wave of Magnifico’s staff. “You are both banished from the realm for threatening my kingdom.” He raised it again, when Star Boy, hovering just out of reach, laughed as he conjured a torrent of fire, and flames lashed out from his palms, catching Magnifico’s cloak in a dance of light and heat. 

Asha scurried forward to her wand, and brandished it as he stomped on the flames. With a quick flick, she sent a stream of light to blind the king. The spell struck his eyes in a burst of bright sparks, so he staggered back. He growled as he struggled to regain control. 

Finish reading: Link

THANKS FOR 50 KUDOS!!!!!!!!!!!

Because the original had a lot of plot holes and wasn't satisfying.

What to expect:

1. Actually tells the Once-ler's whole story from beginning to end (no Ted)

2. Gives Once-ler more agency and develops his motives beyond "my family made me do it."

3. Includes "You're all going to jail!" scene

4. Animals die/the stakes are raised

5. Logical explanations for why they couldn't just plant more trees or use a ladder, why Once-ler didn't just plant the seed himself, etc.

6. The Lorax is actually significant

7. Characters like Once-ler's dad, Norma, and O'Hare are woven in, but don't steal the spotlight. (Example: Norma isn't an annoying girlfriend who steals the role of the Lorax).

8. NO ANNOYING OCS, MARY SUES, OR STUPID ROMANCES!!!!!!!!!! Just a straightforward, comprehensive narrative of what the movie should've been like.

This entire novel is complete and has been through multiple drafts. If you follow it, you can be sure that it does have an ending and the author knows where it's going with foreshadowing and extra plot twists. Chapters will be released each week.

Chapter 14 is up!

Super late post today, but here it is! THIS PART IS THE MOST SAD. The movie didn't make enough consequences for his actions.

Excerpt:

"How've you been, sir? Are you doing well, Mr. Once-ler?" a forlorn voice asked.

Once-ler spun around. "You?!”

The Lorax didn't say anything for a while. The sound of rain over the balcony grew heavier as the storm rumbled behind him.

"Just came to look at the view. You've accomplished a lot, haven’t you?"

Once-ler backed away at the sound of thunder as the Lorax entered the office. The mossy old creature hopped onto his desk to stare at the model city. His torso was matted and streaked with grease. Wiry hairs stuck out from his mustache and eyebrows like bent broom bristles. The fur that had once had an attractive orange sheen was all brown now, caked with dirt, and had a damp, washed-out look. The Lorax might have been a chewed up jelly bean that had been spat back out.

"The Virtue of Selfishness," the Lorax read the title of one of Once-ler's books, stroking his mustache. "Lessons we could all learn from, I'd guess."

"You know what? I don't want to hear from you right now!" Once-ler yelled. "All you do is say everything is bad, and I'm really sick of it." He seized the Lorax and hoisted him under his arm, ignoring the creature's protests.

"It's not just the trees I'm trying to save,” the Lorax’s voice cracked, “but you, from digging your own grave."

Once again, the door wouldn't open when Once-ler tried it, and the alarm wouldn't go off when he pulled it. But he wasn’t going to  be defeated. He carried the Lorax to the balcony and held him at arm's length. The Lorax hovered over dark hills that had been uniformly sheared—bristly white stumps where once had been trees dotted the shaved hills of dead grass. Advanced axe-hackers rolled by like monsters, searching for more wood that they couldn't find, before wheeling away to look deeper into the mist.

"Are you going to kill me?" asked the Lorax.

"I know you're causing the storms," growled Once-ler, shaking him. "The thunder that never stops, the lightning that strikes my tower.  And all the clouds that have that same purple hue as when…" He trailed off, remembering the first tree he'd cut down, when he'd first seen the Lorax come out of the sky. 

If it wasn't for that day, he'd have believed the Lorax was no more than a funny animal like the Barbaloots or humming-fish, with a higher cognitive level and more annoying voice box. But it had been the sight of him that day, coming out of the sky with a terrible look in his eyes, that, as much as he tried to forget, made Once-ler secretly terrified he really was a deity. 

His hands trembled as the Lorax's beetle black eyes bored into his, suddenly looking very old and very powerful. Once-ler wondered if it was even possible for the Lorax to die. “Whatever you're doing, I want you to stop it. Right now," he growled, not recognizing his own voice. With each word, he leaned closer over the edge of the balcony.

"Why?" asked the Lorax. "You don’t seem to care how your own actions are fouling the air."

"Yer rusting up my factory. We got work to do. I’m the one in the legal right here. So make it stop." His face was close enough to feel the Lorax’s mustache.

The Lorax chuckled at this, legs dangling over the parapet. "Laws and codes, written by man. What have they to do with nature's plan? What have they to do with morals or your soul? Are laws the things that define all your goals?" His long, spindly hand slowly reached out and grabbed his tie.

Before Once-ler knew it, they were both falling. Through wind and rain they plummeted as the storm thickened. Soon a churning mist concealed everything around them as they tumbled through a funnel of purple clouds, a passage that went on much longer than Once-ler knew it should have. 

As they spun round and round, reality evaporated. It was as if Once-ler was melting into the Lorax and the Lorax was melting into him, until nothing but a haze of orange and green remained. Then they unconnected, plunging their separate ways.

Once-ler's spine cracked against a pipe, and he bounced onto the black, dry riverbed where water no longer ran. His head spun; reality had not gone quite back to normal. Somehow they had survived the fall as if it had been merely from a playground, rather than half a mile from the tallest building in the city. His back, however, would never be quite the same. Sharp pains when he attempted to straighten himself told him it had been fractured.

The Lorax was standing on a rock, eyes aglow, fixed on his enemy. An army was growing around him of bloodied, skeletal birds missing patches of feathers, a few crinkled fish that had been too weak to leave, and the ghostly Barbaloots that hadn't died yet.

Once-ler choked, and limped behind a rock. "I don't want any trouble," he pleaded. 

The Lorax gave a slight nod to the army behind him, and they marched somberly back into the gray expanse. As they trailed away, single file, Once-ler knew in his heart they were marching to their deaths. At the end of the line he spotted an animal he hadn't thought of in a long time. His old friend, Melvin.

"Hey…!" He crawled up to the trembling old animal that fell to the ground. Melvin put his head in Once-ler's lap. His coat was thin and sooty, breaths slow and tired. The eyes that met his master's were filled with sadness that slowly dimmed into an empty stare as his head slumped to the ground.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3~!

Out of curiosity how long do you prefer fanfictions to be? Are you more likely to read something with just a few chapters or do you like a long quality story?

Writing Embellishments?

Once you have a finished fanfiction/novel (assuming its fully edited for basic things like grammar mistakes, plot holes, POV consistency, etc.) what is the next step to making it more literary? I'm talking about extra embellishments for way beyond a first draft. Here's what I usually (try to) add:

Plot twists Uniqueness to character voices Improved description and heightened stakes

More meaningful philosophical dilemma and moral conflict

What else do you think would be a nice extra embellishment to add, assuming you had all the time in the world to do anything you wanted to make a masterpiece? Let's say you wanted to make it read like an absolute literary classic. Let's say your goal is to shock and impress people with how good it is. What are some extra amazing qualities to add in a story that would take it to another level?

Lorax Rewrite Excerpt

Without focusing on Ted, the story can start earlier and show more of Once-ler's background trying to sell his Thneed. What bad influences did he have when it came to running a business? Some of the advice in this chapter are real things I've been told...

Excerpt below:

He pulled the Thneed from his neck, and spread it on the table. "Ah, you know what, let me just show you."

"It's brilliant," said the main representative immediately.

He was the shortest man and wore a sleek white suit. "The audacity is stunning. It's the perfect balance between essential and useless. Whimsical enough to capture the imagination, yet quaint enough to be marketed as a necessity. This is, indeed, something everyone needs. We would just have to make it out of a better material. For the most part, there's not a single thing that could be improved. However…" He looked up from his spinny chair at the long table. "There's one problem."

His colleagues in smaller chairs around him nodded their heads knowingly.

"Whaddya mean?" asked Once-ler.

The salesman pressed his fingers together and leaned forward. "To sell a product, you need to have a certain degree of charisma," he explained. "The creator's image is even more important than the thing itself when it comes to commerce. That is, you can't just come into a company in your dirty lumberjack clothes, dragging a mule, singing out of tune, and expect to be a success."

Once-ler turned red. There were no barns in North Nitch, so he'd been taking Melvin everywhere with him on a leash. The buildings were so big it hadn't occurred to him there was anything wrong with it. Plus Melvin was such a well-behaved mule, or maybe it was just that he hadn't had any human friends in so long, Once-ler had unconsciously started to think of him as a person.

He also resented his spiffy new outfit being called dirty lumberjack clothes. The fashion of his old town must've looked that way to outsiders no matter how new or clean they were. He observed the stiff, sleek blazers the businessmen wore and took note.

"There seem to be two of you here right now, Mr. Ler," the salesman said, and Once-ler got the feeling he wasn't talking about the fact that he'd brought his mule.

"On one hand, I see a powerful inventor with an ingenious work ethic, capable of bringing impressive ideas to life. But you can’t let humility hold you back. My advice to you is to try and think of yourself a little more selfishly, if you know what I mean."

"No, sir… Could you expand on that?"

"I mean stop thinking of yourself as someone small from a lowly background. You have to imagine yourself as bigger than everyone else."

The salesman hopped from his chair and drew his own short body to its full height in front of the towering woodsman.

"It doesn't matter if you're the tallest person in the world, if you never think you can reach anything." The businessman threw a pointed glance at a geeky young intern with glasses and braces. "Isn't that right, Aloysius?"

"I get it, Dad." The teenager rolled his eyes.

The salesman folded up the Thneed, and handed it back to Once-ler. "You have potential, but come back when your marketing strategy has improved. Have you ever read The Virtue of Selfishness? I look forward to hearing back from you. In the meantime, have you considered applying to other job options at one of the O'Hare companies?" He handed Once-ler a pamphlet.

Once-ler walked out of the building buzzing with embarrassment. He'd butchered his delivery on his first try. Why was it so easy to sing about Thneeds at his family's farm, in the forest, or the privacy of his wagon? He hadn't expected to start shaking like a leaf the instant he started playing for other people. He needed to practice.

Full story here: