🥒✈️Cumplane Secret identity AU???
Peerless cucumber becomes so notorious that he starts getting Airplane notices semi-regularly. Airplane needs some extra cash so he starts doing vtube/voice change streams where he draws PIDW characters, comics, monsters etc - he's a talented baby what can I say, and he gets a decent stream following, offering sneak peeks at his creative process - but he really doesn't want his face and ID as an erotica writer out there thank you!!!
Peerless Cucumber is absolutely ridiculous in his chat, ubiquitous, always there the second he starts streaming. Constantly dropping huge donos to ask ridiculous lore questions that literally go on for minutes... riding herd on other chatters and policing people... Eventually him being "worst mod" becomes a meme, and Airplane mods him mostly as a joke.
They start messaging, and weirdly it's not hellfire? Modding the channel is the first actually constructive thing Shen Yuan has done, like, ever. It turns out that when he has actual responsibility, he takes it pretty seriously? He's more reliable than anyone, especially himself, could have expected him to be? Everyone still clowns in him and calls him "worst mod", "everyone tell the mods they suck" but it starts to be affectionate, because he actually helps detoxify the community a little? (Only HE is allowed to be toxic on airplane's channel!!)
He decides to take a media and communications degree because social media is the only thing he's ever been good at. He sees a guy with a PIDW sticker on his laptop in his lectures, and they become study buddies! It's great!
They talk about their shared appreciation for PIDW probably more than they should. Study Buddy is pretty chill, he teases Shen Yuan for his BingGe obsession. Shen Yuan doesn't want to be a dick, so he doesn't really slag it off as much as he would online? And Study Buddy LIKES talking about the monsters and how cool Bing-gege is!! Maybe they talk enough that Shen Yuan figures maybe there's a reason he was never into wife plots? Maybe he's actually just... Not into... You know.... Girls? That way??? And Study Buddy is super chill? And maybe it's okay to talk about that stuff???
Meanwhile he's still chatting with airplane, who gets invited to attend a con to be on some kind of panel. He asks cucumber-bro along because he's shitting BRICKS, and he wants someone there who will, like... be in his corner?
Turns out Shen Yuan already has tickets because he and his study buddy were planning to go!
Oh, and look at that! He and airplane are booked at the same hotel! It's convenient!
They decide to meet in the lobby.
Shen Yuan and his study buddy go to their separate rooms to freshen up and rest, with a plan to meet for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, they're both back in the lobby.
Both of them are "waiting for someone."
Both of their "someones" are running LATE.
Shen yuan messages Airplane.
Study Buddy's phone buzzes.
Their eyes meet.
No fucking WAY. this is the guy who talked him through his LBH inspired GAY AWAKENING!! The friendly and supportive "bro" he has COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT??? And that's AIRPLANE?
He literally spent five minutes TALKING ABOUT LBH'S MUSCULAR CHEST AND STAR STUDDED GAZE... to AIRPLANE????
Has he really spent MONTHS coming to the terms with the fact that AIRPLANE is kinda....
Could Bingge maybe portal in with Xin Mo and drag Shen Yuan to hell, because he can't deal with this 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
im so obsessed with cumplane dynamic, theyre soulmates, theyre enemies, theyre eat others worst nightmares, theyre equally obsessed w/th each other, theyre divorced but also theyre old married couple. imagine ur watching sqq interact w/th sqh and like sqq is so aloof that he rarely lets ppl touch him and sqh is just hanging off his arm and laying directly across him and kissing him and sqq has massive rbf and everytime u think that sqq had enough and is gonna hit him, it doesn't happen!
id die, id go home, id sob, everyone has to settle for headpats and sqh over here is getting the full spa treatment
Red Robin walking slowly through a battlefield, eyes turn to the sky, unperturbed by the chaos and violence around him. He moves forward, step by step.
A piece of debris flies past his face and slashes his cheek. He doesn't flinch. All he can see is that image in the sky that is so beautiful, so captivating. All he can do is continue to walk towards something that he doesn't understand.
Tim begins to whisper softly, nonsensical-sounding words. They are swept away by the shouts and sounds of fighting. Sometime later, something begins to whisper back, echoing his words back to him. The wind is picking up, kicking up dust and ash and small bits of debris. It picks up speed, whistling past most inattentive heroes barring a few who look up in confusion at the sudden change in pressure in the surrounding area. The wind seems to like Tim; it circles him, caresses his cheeks.
His friends and family, other heroes don't notice this odd behavior, too wrapped up in their own battles, until someone shouts out a warning as Tim is almost crushed by a collapsing alien ship. He doesn't flinch as it explodes, his cape billowing out to the side and his hair ruffling in the rush of air that follows.
As the battle winds down some, people begin to notice as he makes his way towards... something. They see how his eyes are looking at a certain point above him, his neck craning as if to get a better look, so much so that he keeps stumbling. He seems to be mumbling under his breath, though none can quite make out what it is he's saying.
He doesn't respond to calls of his name, or cries for him to stop, to wait. He doesn't even notice.
Time slows and stops. The sounds of battle fade. The rustle of trees and chirps of birds and anything that had ever lived or ever will ceases.
Tim carries on.
100% atk and 0% dmg baby goat
YES! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES! THIS ADDITION IS AMAZING!!!!!
Omg that's so delicious, the insinuation to Shen Jiu that the Shen Qingqiu of this universe was never Shen Jiu, but Shen Yuan ACTING as Shen Jiu. Of course he would've reverted to himself and be acting oddly if he had lost all his memories!!
Now, the question is: Did another Shen sibling ever exist in this universe? If so, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Does Yue Qingyuan also think Shen Yuan died because he came back acting as Shen Jiu? or does he not realize that his post-qi deviation behavior is that of Shen Yuan???
If Shen Yuan, would Shen Qingqiu (Jiu) and Yue Qingyuan be talking at cross purposes about it? Would Shen Qingqiu blame Yue Qingyuan for leaving "him" (aka Shen Yuan) behind, not really caring about his actual self as long as his brother lived, only for Yue Qingyuan to think it's the same argument as always, and continue to refuse to answer????
Meanwhile, the Shang Qinghuas in the background. Alternate Qinghua is very very suspicious about this supposed version of himself...
Shen Qingqiu was doomed.
He stood still, fluttering his fan nervously and trying to avoid catching his counterpart's, the real Shen Qingqiu, glaring eyes from across the room. Instead, he idly observed the other Cang Qiong Mountain Peak Lords, trying to spot the differences between the ones he knew and their alternates.
Liu Qingge had brought back a strange artifact from one of his hunts to the monthly Peak Lord meeting. It was a mirror, rimmed an ugly tarnished gold, topped with a decoration that was shaped into an unidentifiable creature with ruby red eyes.
[Important Artifact Detected: Red-Eyed Sphinx's Mirror! Quest starting...]
Shen Qingqiu had been trying to remember where it might have appeared in PIDW when the surface of the mirror suddenly began to glow a dull yellow. It quickly brightened until it obscured everyone's vision.
And then, there stood another set of peak lords across the room, facing them down.
System, what on earth is going on???
[Quest started: Lost Long Spirit in My Reflection! Other characters have been transported to this universe. Host must find a way to send them back without revealing his identity as a transmigrator.]
WTF? I didn't agree to this!
[Good luck!]
System??? Get back here!
While the two Yue Qingyuans and Xu Qinglis conversed together to try to understand what had happened, the other peak lords had begun to mingle with each other, curious about their counterparts.
Shen Qingqiu tried to suppress his panic, sticking close to Shang Qinghua. His Yue Qingyuan occasionally flicked his softened gaze towards the alternate Shen Qingqiu, likely noticing that the other still acted as he used to before his qi deviation. In fact, several of the peak lords he had gotten to know over the years were sending some looks at the other Shen Qingqiu.
With the original goods right there, how long would it be before something exposed him as a fraud?? What if he was confronted about why he acted so differently?
[Host must avoid having his identity exposed. Being revealed as a transmigrator will result in Host being immediately sent back to his old body.]
Yeah, yeah, same shit as always!
Looking to his side, Shang Qinghua seemed to be experiencing the same threats, desperately looking away from the more dead-eyed Shang Qinghua across the room who, luckily, was barely paying him any attention.
Fuck, what do we do?
---
Shen Qingqiu continued to glare at the Other Shen Qingqiu in the room. The other Shen Qingqiu was so obviously a fraud, he could tell within minutes of being here. While his alternate seemed somewhat familiar, he didn't act like him at all, his mannerisms were all off, and despite the attempt at keeping a poker face, Shen Qingqiu could tell that he was nervous. Probably at being caught out.
His alternate self had likely been replaced with a bodysnatcher or some sort of spirt, if they truly were supposed to be the same person. Was everyone else stupid, or had they had their brains sucked out by a Heart Mouthed Lobster-Squid?
Or maybe they simply like the bodysnatcher better and didn't bother to investigate.
Shen Qingqiu's face became stormier, turning his glare to the Other Yue Qingyuan, wondering if he had felt happier once his precious Xiao-Jiu had vanished. The other Yue Qingyuan's face grew even more pathetic. Tch. Typical.
"That stupid System--" Shen Qingqiu nearly snapped his neck in looking at the bodysnatcher upon hearing his murmur. The fraud, upon noticing his sudden attention, clammed back up and looked away. But Shen Qingqiu knew what he heard.
Xi Tong.
He hadn't heard those words in years, not since--
He stepped forward, scanning the other once more. Upon a second, more thorough look, Shen Qingqiu realized that he grew more familiar. He wore his hair in the way that Shen Qingqiu wore it, but looser and less severe. His eyes were clearer and lighter, with hints of a smile, despite his nerves. He occasionally quickly glanced up and to his left, as if seeing something there, before bringing his attention back to the room at large.
No. It couldn't be. He was long dead, despite Shen Qingqiu's best efforts. Even if the fake had some similar things about him, that doesn't mean--
Shen Jiu had once had a brother, besides Qi-ge. Slightly smaller than him, despite the fact that Shen Jiu passed him along as much food as he could when on the streets. He smiled so much despite their circumstances, and was so kind despite Shen Jiu constantly telling him that he was making himself a target. But he looked so, so similar to Shen Jiu himself. They could have switched their clothes and looked exactly the same, if one didn't notice the difference in their demeanors.
His brother has also always been a little odd, talking to himself and arguing with an imaginary friend that only he could see named Xi Tong. One of the reasons that they survived as long as they did on the streets was due to the inexplicable knowledge that his brother seemed to have. Somehow, his brother knew about the various plants or small animals that they could hunt and sell for a pretty coin in the markets. Shen Jiu never asked, not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
But his brother was dead. He had died years ago, in the time during when they were in Qiu's manor. During a punishment for Shen Jiu's attempt to get them both to join Wu Yanzi; he had switched their clothes and taken Shen Jiu's place and died for it. That had been the final catalyst that made him set the manor ablaze and escape, mourning his brother's death as his fault for daring to be free. Cursing Qi-ge for not coming back for them.
Dazed and his vision dim, Shen Jiu took another step forward, and another. Hope, something he thought he had killed off long ago, slowly rose in his chest.
Had his brother survived in this world? Had he managed to escape alongside Shen Jiu? Or had Shen Jiu died in his place? Dimly, he can't help but think that the world would be far kinder if that were the case. If his brother had made it to Cang Qiong Mountain and became a peak lord all on his own and still managed to keep his smile. If he didn't have Shen Jiu dragging him down with him.
The other Shen Qingqiu, not having noticed his approach, laughed at something the other Shang Qinghua said ("Wonder if Shang Qinghua is a traitor here, too," Shen Jiu thought dimly). His laugh was the same. He rose his fan to hide his face, but Shen Jiu noticed how his nose crinkled, and his eyes nearly closed in delight, exactly like--
"A-Yuan?"
we had the black history show at our school! here are some pics and clips! #blackhistorymonth (at William H. Turner Technical Arts High School) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bum1xP_ngNi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ni989fl9kz5b
Shen Qingqiu: Whatcha got there?
Shang Qinghua, scribbling on a scroll: Well you know how I'm the weakest peak lord? I got an idea that will change that
Shen Qingqiu: So you're going to actually train?
Shang Qinghua: Nope, I got a better idea
Shen Qingqiu, peaking over at the scroll: Airplane, that's a gun
Shang Qinghua: Yep!
we had a pep rally on friday to hype us up for testing! 🤪🤪 i got a bag with shampoo for straight hair and Old Spice body wash #peprally https://www.instagram.com/p/BwCXQM9Hfj2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13tc969h02qag
Cumplane, Shang Qinghua & Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu (vibes are there for both, readers choice). Canon universe.
It’s not like Airplane could be expected to remember everything he wrote about; he’s not Cucumber-bro who could simply flip through his rolodex of complaints for whatever plotline they stumble into. Writing isn’t an exact science, there’s too many scenes gutted for their edible flesh and the bones discarded onto his cluttered apartment floor for him to keep track of who, what, when, where. He’d been fucking starving, okay? Real singing-for-his-supper shit which is cute when he had been in his twenties, desperate when he hit thirty, and downright chronic when forty began to loom on the horizon. So all of the papapa scenes that got Cucumber-bro’s silken boxers in such a twist had been necessary after a point, the reasons thinner and thinner as he scraped his knife against his bread to make it stretch further.
“Disgraceful,” Shen Qingqiu snaps, each syllable as crisp as the fan he wields with devastating accuracy at the back of Shang Qinghua’s head. He’s pulling his blows, a necessity given their current situation, and Shang Qinghua takes the next corner without slowing, planting his sword in the ground to give him the leverage needed.
“Hey, bro! Not cool.” Shang Qinghua hefts Shen Qingqiu higher — fuck, there’s barely anything to him, inertia might be keeping him stable but it wasn’t doing anything to cushion the hips currently bruising Shang Qinghua’s shoulder, his collarbone — wobbles and keeps running. “Not my fault that you seem to be wife-plot catnip for every poor sucker you bat your eyelashes at.”
“I do not—” Another corner, another slide of Shen Qingqiu across Shang Qinghua’s shoulder, slight enough that if he keeps whining then Shang Qinghua is just going to tuck him under one arm to carry him. Out of the corner of his eye, Shen Qingqiu’s face is crimson, a flush covering his sharp features like a veil. “—bat my eyelashes!”
He does. Might be thinking it makes him look sophisticated or even mysterious, that lidded gaze from behind his fan, and it does. Sometimes.
“You agreed to be a human sacrifice, Cucumber-bro.”
“Airplane-bro, it’s the wife-plot for 287, I’m sure of it.”
Fuck, how many narrow alleyways did one small town need? In the distance, Shang Qinghua can still make out the mob condensing behind them, their shouts barely audible beneath the desperate pounding of his own heart.
Shen Qingqiu continues, measured the same way he must have written his novels entirely in comment-format, rapid-fire and barely pausing for breath. “She was the daughter of a village chief and Binghe encountered her during a spring festival that was held every ten years, like everytime he turned up at some small village.”
“Cucumber-bro, it was what the readers wanted and festivals are fun and convenient.”
“Hack writer.”
“Who’s carrying your skinny wife-plot arse around.”
Shen Qingqiu scowls, palpable through the very air cooling several degrees. Shang Qinghua, his heart lodged in his throat, his lungs burning for air, reflexively turns to look for a portal, waits for a heavy hand on his shoulder. Shit, he meant to send a missive to his king over an hour ago. They round another corner, Shang Qinghua’s shoulder knocking into the building opposite, bruising but that’s a problem for later, and slide to a halt.
A crowd stares back, dark eyes glittering beneath the flare of their torches, faces shadowed by the encroaching gloom.
Shen Qingqiu lowers himself to look beneath Shang Qinghua’s elbow, the ornament from his hair finally coming loose and landing with a gentle plink on the cobblestones. His hair falls freely with it, dark tresses brushing the ground.
“Give us back the maiden!” A voice shouts from the back, indignant, brash to match the flourish of a blade drawn.
“Time to run. Again!”
“Head for the outskirts,” Shen Qingqiu snaps, fumbling with the pouch at his waist as he drags himself back upright. It’s uncomfortable, a hand shoved between a press of bone against bone, a flare of energy that bursts behind Shang Qinghua’s eyes like a three-day-old headache. “If we can just set off the fireworks, then the festival will be over and they’ll stop chasing us.”
“Remind me how that’ll work? Your plan so far was to volunteer—” Shang Qinghua raises his voice to a near shout, slamming his words over Shen Qingqiu’s spluttered complaint. “—and then say ‘No time to explain. Just grab the fireworks and follow me.’ You got three steps away.”
“Without-A-Cure was your creation.”
“This entire place is my creation.” Shang Qinghua can’t let himself dwell too long on that fact because then he’d need to sit down somewhere dark and quiet and chew his knuckles until they bleed. The buildings are becoming sparser now, glimpses of the horizon visible in the spaces between them, but it doesn’t help the sinking sensation of eyes crawling over his skin, something small and fragile skittering out in the open while a predator circles overhead.
Shouts echo behind him but he doesn’t slow, vaulting over a fence and sinking into the tangle of grass on the other side. He lands on his knees in a crouch, tipping himself sideways to let Shen Qingqiu down with a grunt of effort. He’s no longer moving so the panic begins to fizz in his belly, his eyes wide and staring out at the tiny pinpricks of light filtering between the buildings. “What now?”
“Wife 287 was scheduled to participate in the festival but Binghe’s cultivation prowess caused a reaction and the spirits were appeased early.”
Shang Qinghua chews his lower lip, pulling some of the grass free in front of him and twisting it around his fingers. Lights skim across his vision, the crowd still searching for them both, and he ties a knot into the grass, beginning to braid it. “So, fireworks?”
“Fireworks. If you could?”
It’s kind of nice to just lie down and watch the fireworks rain overhead. Shen Qingqiu’s fingers twist into Shang Qinghua’s, squeezing tight before they relax.
okay this legit FUCKS!
need to get this idea out about Shang Qinghua being an actual god/deity lmao
okay, so we all know that Shen Qingqiu's system has Luo Binghe as its power source and shut down when he was in another dimension right?
and that Shang Qinghua transmigrated before Luo Binghe's parents even met each other, but his system was still active, albeit less so because it was before the plot and he was a side character.
what if Shang Qinghua's system used him as a power source to run not just itself, but the entire world of SVSSS/PIDW?
I mean, the guy was transmigrated as a baby, and he's had a lot of time to butterfly effect things in ways he probably didn't even try. and since the System's main goal seems to be fixing/improving the core story for the audience's entertainment, it potbelly had to nudge a lot of stuff back into place to ensure the core plot was still recognizable.
it would make sense as to why Shang Qinghua's system was a lot more emotionless, infrequent, and stingy with points than Shen Qingqiu's system and why it was more restrictive in certain ways with Shang Qinghua.
it could be a cool concept that as the happy ending was reached and the System stepped back, Shang Qinghua slowly got more control over his world and storyline. he proudly wouldn't even notice at first, with all of the work and information he has to deal with in both realms. it would start off small with him just knowing certain things about the quality of goods a merchant was trying to sell his King, thinking he read it somewhere in his mountain of paperwork. then it could escalate into 'remembering' specific details about the lives and dynamics of side characters' families and relationships that he doesn't actually remember writing down, but obviously he must have of he knows that the 3rd sister of the Hé family hates tanghulu because she chocked on one as a child. And then that would snowball into him actually having prophetic abilities and the power to alter fate.
it would also be pretty interesting if the world itself obviously favored him, like flowers moving to face him if he meditated in the same spot for a few hours, birds and other wildlife generally being friendly or non hostile, the wind carrying his humming to the ears of those who are down in their luck, ancient and extremely rare treasures and artifacts really wanting him as their wielder, other divine or mythical beings that are able to tell something is off about Shang Qinghua but can't tell what because of the System, and other people not noticing him because he really really doesn't want them to.
just, Deity Shang Qinghua that doesn't know that he's a deity lol
tried 2 come up w a reasonable cumplane situationship scenario and this happened