No Thoughts, Just Cuddle Pile With Scumcumplane

Bingqiu and Moshang had crap first times because deep down in their soul Cumplane really wants to fuck but they are so sexually incompatible it not only makes their canon relationships sex life worse but if they did actually fuck it might kill them in the most embarrassing ways possible

Their dicks touch and it summons a full slapstick routine that ends with at least a serious injury and they will still be sexually frustrated

Announcer: Welcome everybody to the 37th Annual Shen Yuan Shipping Competition, the game show where we go to multiple universes to see who is able to seduce their very own Shen Yuan

Announcer: This universe's winner is Shang Qinghua, author and god of these very worlds!

Announcer: Tell me Shang Qinghua, what motivated you to seduce your Cucumber-Bro?

Shang Qinghua: I thought it would be funny to piss everyone off

Announcer: A classic Shang Qinghua. Now, how does this universe's Shen Yuan feel about his choice?

Shen Yuan: I will never forgive that bastard for making me fall for him

scumplane is a shit that I need more of, please. alongside cumplane and scumcumplane. I need more of this shit. I swear that I read a fic or a ficlet somewhere about this exact scenario: Shang Qinghua getting together with his little scum villain only to have to grieve when Shen Yuan takes over and his Shen Jiu is gone.

but! I can't! remember! where I read it!!!!!

GUYS I CANT. MY CORE HAD BEEN SHOOKEN TO ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL OF SHOOKETH. SCUMPLANE MY BELOVED. SHANG QONGHUA.

I ACTUALLY CANT!! YOU THINK SHANG WINGHUA WOULDNT HAVE NOTICED THAT SHEN YUAN HAD TAKEN OVER STRAIGHT AWAY!! SHANG QINGHUA FOR GOT LOADS OF HIS STORY! HE FORGOT SO MUCH OF IT, WVEN SHEN YUAN KNEW MORE!

BUT HE WAS ABLE TO REMEMBER SHEN JIU’S BACKSTORY ?

Also, I want to add, that while Shen jiu is an asshole, he also fits the “cold and mysterious” description that mobei had.

I’m just saying. Shang Qinghua has a type.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi Characters: Jango Fett, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ursa Wren, CC-2224 | Cody, CC-1010 | Fox, CC-4477 | Thire, misc. OC’s Additional Tags: warlord au, Mand'alor Jango Fett, Consort Obi-Wan Kenobi, Apologies, Forgiveness, Realizations, isolationism is a bad idea, Redemption, Character Growth, One Shot, Complete Series: Part 2 of The Teeth: Warlord Jango AU Summary:

…and hold on, for dear life.

House Wren and the world of Krownest cannot survive without the aid and trade agreements the Mand'alor rejected. There is only one thing Kalik Wren can do to right their wrongs. One chance to save the House and clan Kalik doomed when they impulsively broke the rules of a challenge fight to try and stab Obi-Wan in the back.

The Mand'alor is not a forgiving man, but Jango Fett does not rule alone.

My second birthday fic is a continuation of my Warlord Jango/Consort Obi-Wan one-shot!

Enjoy!

This is our stray, Matilda (my little sis named her). She’s so cute and I wish we could keep her, but our apartment doesn’t allow pets. 😥😥😥 #cats #kitty #cutie #meow

So I was hanging out on the Bad Dragon website looking to see if they had funky packers (and absolutely not looking for ridiculous Binghe sized demon dicks) for my trans boyfriend, and I saw THIS and all I can think now is CUMPLANE SO WOULD

Tell me they wouldn't go from reading filthy erotica out loud to each other (Shen Yuan claims to skewer it more effectively) to sloppy makeouts, to mutual jackoff sessions, to airplane moving in because it just makes sense, to sharing a bed "where else are you going to sleep??" to truly freaky shit inside a year.

Shen Yuan sends a link and talks hot shit about how cringe it all is and how ridiculous and as if anyone would ever, and Airplane dicks him down with a gigantic dragon cock one express postage and (discreet) packaging later.

Shen Yuan claims to despise it "I didn't ask for an invite to your heinous kinks!" 😬😳😬😳😩😫

but within a year he has a sizable collection and a sticker on his work laptop that he wants someone to ask him about just so he can call them out.

He still refuses to admit that they're dating, and he's definitely not gay. It's just a practical arrangement between bros who are admittedly too nasty to get a proper girlfriend.

Cute idea:

-SQH and SY end up chatting over PIDW (after some heated comments which led to heated arguments which led to them talking about what SHOULDVE been PIDW)

-They slowly but surely get to know each other, eventually start meeting up and hanging out

-They do, in fact, fall in love, and they have a few very happy years together

-And then SY proposes, but he hands SQH the box with the ring in it, and with a good-natured laugh he says 'don't just jump into your decision because of the moment. I know we both agree proposals are kinda cringe. Think about it overnight. Then tell me your answer.'

-SQH wants to say yes immediately but doesn't argue with SY. He doesn't need the night to think, but he thinks anyway. For love. For his love.

-And then his computer breaks when he's up on it while writing cause he wants to pass the time.

-He goes to try unplugging and plugging it back in, but spills his tea. A spark. And then nothing.

-SQH suddenly finds himself growing up in PIDW. He gains all of his memories back gradually, completing them at around 25. Tragedy and grief and whirlwind of emotions strike him. This is NOT fair.

-SQH is the author. He logs into the System and declares himself an admin, unlocking all of the System's functions to him.

-He makes his plan. He'll bring SY back as SQQ. The character is a real asshole anyway, it would be good to have a replacement. (So...maybe SJ kicked him around one too many times...and he's lowkey getting his revenge...) unfortunately his plans take so long that by the time he's ready, LBH has been thrown into the Abyss. This means he has new worries. Bringing SY back in SQQ's body means LBH will come back to kill him. This is bad.

-(BTW SQQ is the most convenient body to bring SY back in so.)

-So he decides to use his Admin skills...to enact one of his most evil, diabolical, horrible curses: the puppy curse. He turns LBH into a fucking puppy. Bingpup. And then he waits until LBH emerges from the Abyss...and he snatches him up. LBH is not happy and threatens murder but sorry lil buddy, you're a puppy now. Good luck.

-Meanwhile SY is worried about the proposal after radio silence for a day, goes to SQH's apartment, sees the overturned cup of tea and messed up computer, and finds it horribly weird.

-SQH is declared missing. SY uses every penny at his disposal to find him.

-After a year or two passes, SQH is declared dead.

-A couple years after that, SY stops looking. And he mourns. And mourns. And mourns. He stays inside. Day and night. Listless. Eventually his family has to hire a home helper to keep his place livable + make sure SY eats.

-With Bingpup secured, all is good to go! SQH initiates the plan.

-SY finds himself drawn to one of the outlets in his house. He reaches out to tap and- Zap! Gone in the blink of an eye.

-SY arrives in PIDW. And the first face he sees? A snarling mutt trying to rip his face off. Tho it's less like ripping and more like licking/slobbering all over him.

-And then he looks up. And his boyfriend may look different, but that body IS his self-insert. He cries. He cries and throws himself into his arms. He can't ask anything yet, too overwhelmed with emotion. And he knows it's not a dream, too. His boyfriend loves him.

-The whole thing is explained to SY, including Bingpup and his new body.

-And they run off together, get married, and live life traveling PIDW, just two 'npc' (SQH changed their statuses to non-killable npcs) husbands and their vicious (adorable) puppy that never ages nor grows

I wanted some hurt/comfort so I made it :3

SQQ: "Fuck, I think I got hit with some sex pollen--"

SQH: "My clothes are off and I'm coming over to your place."

the warmth is so nice; I can feel joy radiating from this

the kiss