Whoever Fights Monsters Should See To It That In The Process He Does Not Become A Monster, On Account

we had the black history show at our school! here are some pics and clips! #blackhistorymonth (at William H. Turner Technical Arts High School) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bum1xP_ngNi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ni989fl9kz5b

"I have... realized," Shen Qingqiu said, "that you technically indirectly killed dozens of teenagers. At the Immortal Alliance Conference." He glanced at his friend from the corner of his eye. The office had been quiet before then, though Shen Qingqiu's thoughts had been heavy with contemplation.

Shang Qinghua lifted his head from his paperwork to look at the other, eyes half-lidded and slightly dull. "It's so kind of Shen-shixiong to have realized this. It only took a few months after the Conference had already ended."

"...don't you feel guilty?"

"What is there to feel guilt about?" Shang Qinghua said nothing else, and when Shen Qingqiu did nothing but frown back at him, he went back to signing various forms. In the silence that followed, he sighed and continued, "Listen, I'm not a necessarily a good person. I'm selfish, and I want to live. If I have to choose between myself and random characters that I don't know, then I'll always choose myself."

Shen Qingqiu stared at him, before looking down at his lap, where one of his friend's written works lay in a scroll. Most of the other's writings that he had gotten to read were far better than the trash his web novel had devolved into, more comparable in quality to the early PIDW chapters. He was excited to read this one, but he hadn't opened it yet. "I wasn't saying it to condemn you. After all, I want to live, too." He shifted. "So, I guess I'm not a good person, either."

The An Ding Peak Lord immediately shook his head. "No, unlike me, you are a good person--"

"If I were a better person, I would've taken the point deduction and allowed myself to die at the edge of that Endless Abyss than do what I did."

Silence permeated the room. Shang Qinghua kept his eyes on his forms, though his hands remained still, while Shen Qingqiu continued to stare down at the scroll in his lap.

Finally, Shang Qinghua let out a dry laugh and put down his paperwork to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "Shen-shixiong, you sometimes irritate me, you know?" His voice was light, but there was something else in it, a barely noticeable tremor that made Shen Qingqiu look up. "You say these things, but you're sitting here, agonizing over the choices you've made to keep yourself alive. What does that say about you?"

What does it say about me, that I don't do the same? Shen Qingqiu sighed, fingers tightening around the edge of the scroll. "It says that I still have to live with it, the choice that I made."

"Then why are we even having this conversation? We both made our choices, and guilt or not, we're both still here, aren't we? Why think about it any further?"

Shen Qingqiu studied his friend, eyes tracing the exhausted droop of his eyes, the way tension clung to his slumped shoulders, despite his upright position. He had spent weeks turning it over in his head, wondering how his friend could stand the stain of blood on his hands, even if it meant that he got to live. But hadn't Shen Qingqiu done the exact same thing?

"Because it bothers you," Shen Qingqiu finally said. "Even if you say it doesn't."

Shang Qinghua scoffed and picked his brush back up, the black ink having already smeared all over his latest form. It would need to be discarded. "Don't make me laugh. I'm not some sort of anti-hero. I just know better than to waste time brooding over something I can't change. If it ever starts bothering me too much, I just tell myself that they were all meant to die, anyway."

"That's a bit cold, shidi."

"Don't try to pretend that you don't do the same mental gymnastics. You're just not as good at it as I am."

Shen Qingqiu couldn't argue with that. Sometimes, the world felt too real, and then not real enough. Shen Qingqiu would hear someone laugh, or taste a brilliantly seasoned dish, and everything felt too much and it all exploded before it turned dim. He would no longer be quite inside his body, and he would notice for the first time, again and again, how nothing was ever quite real.

It was a story. That's all it was. It was all just a story.

Shang Qinghua watched him for a moment, then sighed. "Shen-shixiong, if you ever figure out how to balance staying alive with being a good person, let me know."

"Oh?" Shen Qingqiu finally unrolled the scroll he had been holding for some time now. "And what would that accomplish?"

"Maybe then I’d consider feeling guilty."

pre-transmigration cumplane secretly dating since basically the beginning and nobody else knows

shang qinghua always called him pet names in his replies but everyone just assumed it was like...mocking

"babe you keep complaining yet you keep reading" "awww love you too sweetheart" "don't be so cruel hon"

evb thinks he's teasing until shen yuan slips up and everyone is like. holy shit. are these guys *actually* together ????

peerless_cucumber: you fucking hack you literally used this exact same wife plot 12 chapters ago are you KIDDING ME. you're sleeping on the couch tonight i can't with you.

airplane-shooting-towards-the-sky: awww you remember my plots 🥺 love you sm baby 💚

so instead of the scathing replies shen yuan usually gets it's just. hoards of messages questioning if they've been dating this whole time

wowow

what’s christmas even like in non-christian families? in completely non-religious families? like what do you tell your children? “well, kids, we’re eating a whole lot of food and spending a fuckton of money spoiling you because some other people somewhere believe their holy lord and saviour and the greatest person to walk the earth was born 2000 years ago. here’s a playstation.”

I will legit read fanfics anywhere. Home, school, funerals and weddings. Anywhere.  Do you know how many close calls I’ve had by now? I'll be reading slash and I'm on an innocent part and my mom just rips my phone out of my hand, read it, then give it back. I just go into a panic because if she had scrolled just a little bit further...

people who read fanfiction in public are underrated heroes

Radcliffe

Tom felton was asked what he wanted to steal from the Harry Potter set (via daddy-drarry)

(≖‿≖)

So I was hanging out on the Bad Dragon website looking to see if they had funky packers (and absolutely not looking for ridiculous Binghe sized demon dicks) for my trans boyfriend, and I saw THIS and all I can think now is CUMPLANE SO WOULD

Tell me they wouldn't go from reading filthy erotica out loud to each other (Shen Yuan claims to skewer it more effectively) to sloppy makeouts, to mutual jackoff sessions, to airplane moving in because it just makes sense, to sharing a bed "where else are you going to sleep??" to truly freaky shit inside a year.

Shen Yuan sends a link and talks hot shit about how cringe it all is and how ridiculous and as if anyone would ever, and Airplane dicks him down with a gigantic dragon cock one express postage and (discreet) packaging later.

Shen Yuan claims to despise it "I didn't ask for an invite to your heinous kinks!" 😬😳😬😳😩😫

but within a year he has a sizable collection and a sticker on his work laptop that he wants someone to ask him about just so he can call them out.

He still refuses to admit that they're dating, and he's definitely not gay. It's just a practical arrangement between bros who are admittedly too nasty to get a proper girlfriend.

aww this is so cute!

Head Canon that Interpeak relations in Cang Qiong mountain was bad until the Peak Lords witnessed the broship of Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua

Before SQQ's qi deviation, the peak lords only communicate during meetings, and these meetings are mostly called by the then only transmigrator—SQH.

You think LQG and QQQ are close? No. They hate the same person but in different ways. They don't really talk about it together. MQF is a natural worrywart, but is not really friendly. Don't get me started with YQY, who is only irritatingly diplomatic (I get SJ's irritation tbh) but aloof.

Since the immortal alliance incident, the peak lords notice Shang Qinghua's often visitation to the grieving Shen Qingqiu. "What a nice martial brother." So they do the same, bringing SQQ gifts and kind words. Sometimes they catch one another in the Bamboo House, so SQH urges them to stay and have tea with Shen Shixiong. The more the merrier, he says. "What a good philosophy!"

Inevitably, they notice their deep friendship. How bizarre. None of them are friends on such a level. Maybe they should befriend neighboring peaks? An Ding and Qing Jing are geographically close, maybe that's why they're such besties.

During stuffy meetings, the two would giggle on their own musings, speaking the language they developed on their own (that's what besties do, right?). That alone would subtly break the tension.

When SQH leads the meeting, SQQ would raise his hand to insert unnecessary but funny quips, leading them to think that perhaps they can put fun in work.

When a peak lord is angry at something (like overwork or personal issues) SQH and SQQ would approach them after the meeting to ask them for more details. They hear them call it "bestie debriefing" or "juicy tea" whatever that is. Communicating with this peak lord in this way improves the situation more often than not. The angry peak lord (usually WQW or MQF) would also feel better for the attention.

The book always shows SQH and LQG visiting the bamboo house but not the other way around, so it looks like the Bamboo house has become a cafe of some sort. Other peak lords visit Shen Qingqiu to "check up on his emotional and physical constitution", and end up talking about books, beasts, rumors—anything fun, really. SQH now calls it the Bamboo Café, the others secretly and sappily calls it the House of Friends. (SQQ and SQH found out about it and they both cringed. But hey, they love their martial siblings)

Between the numerous System notifications that were finally starting to clear out and the implications of what he's learned, Shen Yuan felt dizzy.

He can tell that the other Shen Qingqiu is absolutely serious about marching over to Yue Qingyuan and murdering him. He had averted the initial crisis but now he had prevent a crime from happening while trying to wrap his head around the fact that, apparently, a person named Shen Yuan, who was also potentially him, had existed in some other world. And was brothers with Shen Jiu.

Did that mean there were other versions of himself who read the same novel but ended up in different places and in different bodies? He had been making shit up on the fly when he had told the Original Goods that he had escaped the Qiu and was pretending to be Shen Jiu, but for all he knew, it might have been true after all. It made something in his stomach squirm to think that a version of himself might have been the one to hurt Binghe.

Before he could continue to contemplate this, Shen Qingqiu-- that was confusing-- Shen Jiu shook him gently by the shoulders.

"A-Yuan, get your head out of the clouds. I can't believe you still do this, how have you gotten this far?" The other peered at him closely, identical green eyes flicking between his own. Despite his frown, Shen Yuan could tell he looked worried. With a lowered voice, he asked, "You look pale. Is it System again?"

Shen Yuan blinked. Wait, was Shen Jiu also another transmigrator? How did he know about the System?!

----

"You're not me, are you?" the other Shang Qinghua casually asked with a small smile. His eyes were dead. "I can tell. You're someone else."

"I don't know what you mean." Shang Qinghua smiled back, though he was pretty sure he was glaring daggers at the other. He did not come this far to have his cover blown by this slimy version of himself! He had to strike first. "Hm, how's your friend? The one from the North."

His alternate's self's smile dropped immediately. It gradually returned when he said, "Like you don't know." He smirked. "Come now, Feng-er. You and I both know that you've always followed in your gege's footsteps. This is no different."

Shen Qingqiu was doomed.

He stood still, fluttering his fan nervously and trying to avoid catching his counterpart's, the real Shen Qingqiu, glaring eyes from across the room. Instead, he idly observed the other Cang Qiong Mountain Peak Lords, trying to spot the differences between the ones he knew and their alternates.

Liu Qingge had brought back a strange artifact from one of his hunts to the monthly Peak Lord meeting. It was a mirror, rimmed an ugly tarnished gold, topped with a decoration that was shaped into an unidentifiable creature with ruby red eyes.

[Important Artifact Detected: Red-Eyed Sphinx's Mirror! Quest starting...]

Shen Qingqiu had been trying to remember where it might have appeared in PIDW when the surface of the mirror suddenly began to glow a dull yellow. It quickly brightened until it obscured everyone's vision.

And then, there stood another set of peak lords across the room, facing them down.

System, what on earth is going on???

[Quest started: Lost Long Spirit in My Reflection! Other characters have been transported to this universe. Host must find a way to send them back without revealing his identity as a transmigrator.]

WTF? I didn't agree to this!

[Good luck!]

System??? Get back here!

While the two Yue Qingyuans and Xu Qinglis conversed together to try to understand what had happened, the other peak lords had begun to mingle with each other, curious about their counterparts.

Shen Qingqiu tried to suppress his panic, sticking close to Shang Qinghua. His Yue Qingyuan occasionally flicked his softened gaze towards the alternate Shen Qingqiu, likely noticing that the other still acted as he used to before his qi deviation. In fact, several of the peak lords he had gotten to know over the years were sending some looks at the other Shen Qingqiu.

With the original goods right there, how long would it be before something exposed him as a fraud?? What if he was confronted about why he acted so differently?

[Host must avoid having his identity exposed. Being revealed as a transmigrator will result in Host being immediately sent back to his old body.]

Yeah, yeah, same shit as always!

Looking to his side, Shang Qinghua seemed to be experiencing the same threats, desperately looking away from the more dead-eyed Shang Qinghua across the room who, luckily, was barely paying him any attention.

Fuck, what do we do?

---

Shen Qingqiu continued to glare at the Other Shen Qingqiu in the room. The other Shen Qingqiu was so obviously a fraud, he could tell within minutes of being here. While his alternate seemed somewhat familiar, he didn't act like him at all, his mannerisms were all off, and despite the attempt at keeping a poker face, Shen Qingqiu could tell that he was nervous. Probably at being caught out.

His alternate self had likely been replaced with a bodysnatcher or some sort of spirt, if they truly were supposed to be the same person. Was everyone else stupid, or had they had their brains sucked out by a Heart Mouthed Lobster-Squid?

Or maybe they simply like the bodysnatcher better and didn't bother to investigate.

Shen Qingqiu's face became stormier, turning his glare to the Other Yue Qingyuan, wondering if he had felt happier once his precious Xiao-Jiu had vanished. The other Yue Qingyuan's face grew even more pathetic. Tch. Typical.

"That stupid System--" Shen Qingqiu nearly snapped his neck in looking at the bodysnatcher upon hearing his murmur. The fraud, upon noticing his sudden attention, clammed back up and looked away. But Shen Qingqiu knew what he heard.

Xi Tong.

He hadn't heard those words in years, not since--

He stepped forward, scanning the other once more. Upon a second, more thorough look, Shen Qingqiu realized that he grew more familiar. He wore his hair in the way that Shen Qingqiu wore it, but looser and less severe. His eyes were clearer and lighter, with hints of a smile, despite his nerves. He occasionally quickly glanced up and to his left, as if seeing something there, before bringing his attention back to the room at large.

No. It couldn't be. He was long dead, despite Shen Qingqiu's best efforts. Even if the fake had some similar things about him, that doesn't mean--

Shen Jiu had once had a brother, besides Qi-ge. Slightly smaller than him, despite the fact that Shen Jiu passed him along as much food as he could when on the streets. He smiled so much despite their circumstances, and was so kind despite Shen Jiu constantly telling him that he was making himself a target. But he looked so, so similar to Shen Jiu himself. They could have switched their clothes and looked exactly the same, if one didn't notice the difference in their demeanors.

His brother has also always been a little odd, talking to himself and arguing with an imaginary friend that only he could see named Xi Tong. One of the reasons that they survived as long as they did on the streets was due to the inexplicable knowledge that his brother seemed to have. Somehow, his brother knew about the various plants or small animals that they could hunt and sell for a pretty coin in the markets. Shen Jiu never asked, not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

But his brother was dead. He had died years ago, in the time during when they were in Qiu's manor. During a punishment for Shen Jiu's attempt to get them both to join Wu Yanzi; he had switched their clothes and taken Shen Jiu's place and died for it. That had been the final catalyst that made him set the manor ablaze and escape, mourning his brother's death as his fault for daring to be free. Cursing Qi-ge for not coming back for them.

Dazed and his vision dim, Shen Jiu took another step forward, and another. Hope, something he thought he had killed off long ago, slowly rose in his chest.

Had his brother survived in this world? Had he managed to escape alongside Shen Jiu? Or had Shen Jiu died in his place? Dimly, he can't help but think that the world would be far kinder if that were the case. If his brother had made it to Cang Qiong Mountain and became a peak lord all on his own and still managed to keep his smile. If he didn't have Shen Jiu dragging him down with him.

The other Shen Qingqiu, not having noticed his approach, laughed at something the other Shang Qinghua said ("Wonder if Shang Qinghua is a traitor here, too," Shen Jiu thought dimly). His laugh was the same. He rose his fan to hide his face, but Shen Jiu noticed how his nose crinkled, and his eyes nearly closed in delight, exactly like--

"A-Yuan?"

When I think of death, I imagine a quiet darkness and the warmth and safety of a mother’s womb. I like to believe that when we die, we simply become glowing souls put in the sky as stars, left to rest until put back on Earth. When I think of death, I want to sleep forever and never wake up. #darkness #sleepingsouls #stars #death #peace #peaceful