whatever i literally dont care 😎 <- cares so much that it feels like my organs are tearing themselves apart in my chest
Meows Morales?!
(order as a print here)
Stop scrolling for a minute, take a deep breath. Come and sit down with me for a minute, I’ll make us some tea. It’s a quiet morning, apart from the birds of course. We can sit here for a while, we can chat or just pass the time of day. Or we can go for a walk if you want, my dog can come with us. She doesn’t walk very fast but it will give us time to take in the wildflowers as we go. Or we can go into town and wonder around the secondhand bookstores because there are so many stories we haven’t read yet. And there is something magical about secondhand books, knowing they’ve been loved before. Time passes slowly here, there’s no where to be. Remember no matter how bad things seem, everything will be okay. You’re safe here, darling. Stay as long as you like and you can always come back. Chin up, my love. You’re going to be just fine.
Sometimes, it's really hard for me to express myself into words. Maybe, that's because I need to know myself more and more. But it is becoming easier with you now. You might be thinking there are so many things inside my head and I bring out only a bit of it. I don't know if I have the strength to hold onto myself but, I know one thing, I am able to hold onto you as tightly as possible because I don't want to let you go. You can call me selfish and yes I am, because it's you. When I do anything wrong to you, I really feel that guilt, that ache of not being able to apologize whereas my heart actually wants to, very badly. It isn’t right ! But I always believe in showing my flaws to you because I know it's only you who will value them wholeheartedly. I do several bad things out of anger, take wrong decisions but I realize it too with utter grievances towards myself. I start hating myself for not being able to apologize to you for every mistake. I am afraid I will lose you. At times, I don't want you to be anybody else's company except mine knowing that is selfish enough. I am sorry. You have that freedom. When I feel dull and sad not talking to you, I want you to feel the same too. I hope you understand. I don't force you to do anything because it will become a habit. I will constantly force you to do things and in the process I may lose the grip. But I want to have all the rights on you.
That night when you said I must show my right on you, I was so happy, indeed happy to see you are holding me with your all. I want to take care of you. I am a messy person but I would still keep you organized, learn and cook your favorite dish with all my love. I want to stay awake lying beside you when you are sick and caressing you to sleep would be my utmost priority. I take bad decisions to keep us aloof, to keep us safe and not to hurt us. Forgive me for that. I want to dress up according to your choices of attire, to read your kind of books and embrace the new changes in me, to sing your favorite songs, to travel to your favorite places. I want to talk to you about the silly white lies being told to make things work good. These things would make me happier. I guess this is an in-built part of me which I could never express.
I love neurodivergent people and our ability to live lives that are true to ourselves despite the fact that the world around us is not always understanding or kind.
I love our communities and the way we seem to be drawn together without even realising it and create spaces that say "I see you, I hear you, I love you, and I want you to be able to be yourself here".
i love the way we can be so, so passionate about the things that are important to us and how vastly different those things can be between us!
i love that we communicate by sharing information and finding common interests!!
I love that we don't always have to talk, we can just exist and do our own thing together.
I love neurodivergent people <33
yesterday at the game shop someone asked me when I started 3D printing. I told them a couple years ago, it was really easy to get into, sometimes I make things for commission, etc etc
then this person, this child, looked me square in the face and said "do you think it's too late for me to start? I'm almost 17..."
almost 17
ALMOST. SEVEN. TEEN.
when I tell you my soul left my body over this child, this mere not-even-17 year old, thinking they were already too old to start a new hobby, lemme tell you, I did not know how to respond
so i need yall to repeat after me
it is never too late to start a new hobby
you wanna learn to crochet at 47? go off king! learn to paint at 69? nice! learn embroidery on your death bed?? it is literally never too late!! you don't even have to be good. it's absolutely wonderful to see people who are just ok or even bad at something doing that something unabashedly and at whatever age they happen to be
need someone to love me like this
19 March, 1937 Letters to Véra by Vladimir Nabokov
A consistent sleep schedule
Morning Walks
Avoid scrolling on social media.
Engage in physical activity
Stay Hydrated
Mindful meditation
Spend time in nature
Breath-Work
Spend time with safe people
Frank O'Hara, from “Biotherm (for Bill Berkson)”, The Collected Poems