i have been thinking again recently about beast!dazai and that he was just a kid when he got to see the memories of the og!dazai, so it makes sense that he became so obsessed with saving oda.
just think about it, he was younger than 16, feeling lonely and he has these "vision" of someone that understands him and is by his side, someone he has a connection to and that genuinely enjoys his company and he too does enjoy being around oda (the only adult we have seen treat him like the kid he is)
oda is the closest person he has to a friend and all of it is an illusion of a future that isn't his to live and he knows the ending. oda dies and changes his life (the life of the og!zai) and there is no way to thank him, to show how important oda truly is to og!zai and him.
thanks to oda's words he knows he can find something akin to happiness, find something to appreciate and make life, even if it's just a little, worth
his only way of showing gratitud is trying to manipulate his reality to a universe where oda can live his life by his own principles, pursue his dream and find some kind of value in what he does and his life.
this decision is so full of love for his friend and that makes it so sad, because he abandons entirely the possibility of happiness to give him a life to live.
and the only thing he has to treasure are memories that aren't his. oda isn't his friend in the beast au and he makes it clear that he considers dazai his enemy
as much as he yearns for his frienship with oda, it isn't his, he will never be the other dazai. and that was his choice, because he was just a kid that wanted to do something good for someone that was important for him and abandoned a part of himself as the price.
After Falin is eaten by the red dragon, her brother, Laios decides to go down the dungeon to save her. Meanwhile some leave the party, Marcille and Chilchuk decide to stay and help him. Without food or money they end up with the necessity to eat monsters, so Senshi, a dwarf who eats monsters, joins them. The four of them start they journey to find the red dragon and get Falin back.
To be honest I wasn't really interested in this anime when it was airing, but between boredom and curiosity bc of it's popularity I ended up watching it.
It was a really fun watch, I like fantasy and the plot seemed ridiculous (it is, but that's the charm), plus the animation was so good in some moments (especially battles) it just keeps you watching.
It is typical that series start with a more fun focus, but have this serious moments (that are more battle focused) that increase over time. Personally, I like the balance that it has in this aspect, the story intertwines such difficult emotions (sadness, guilt, etc) with light hearted moments, so it doesn't make it heavy.
To add to it, the world building (not just around just this the dungeon, but all them and the world) is exposed in a light way too. It's told bit by bit so one can always follow it.
Laios doesn't feel like a unique character (or more specifically protagonist) when you see his personality, but even with that and just a normal person desing his weird obsession with monsters takes him apart from other protagonists.
And i was gonna make a point for all of the other characters in the main cast, but i don't think i have much to say lol, they are all enjoyable and charming, i think what i like most is that they feel well balanced for every situation and context, everyone has their moments and the author really knows what to do with them
also i love marcille and specially how even if it's always the same outfit, her hairstyles change ಥ‿ಥ it's a detail but i love it soooo much
in conclusion...
i really had so much fun, but I don't know if i'll read the manga, tho definitely i will be watching when the second season drops, I'm waiting for it
Dazai, do you know about Pétrus? That night you left the organization, I opened an '89 bottle of it to celebrate. That's how fed up with you I was.
I've been thinking about this scene, and about how Chuuya in Storm Bringer seemed to consider himself beyond saving while simultaneously yearning for someone to do save him, and about his eventual resolve and commitment to the Port Mafia, and about how his fate ultimately opposes Dazai's.
now loading ... writtingcorvus data ...
[ intro ]
hello! i'm myo (=^・ェ・^=) she/her, 21 y/o and chilean; i'm your resident vegan lesbian atheist etc etc i love mysteries, science and things that make me think
here i talk about series, animanga and maybe in the future books i like and mostly skk i love skk they are my soul or something like that
my favourite series are: one piece, bungou stray dogs, fullmetal alchemist, jibaku shonen hanako-kun, natsume's book of friends, the apothecary diaries, shoushimin, kageki shoujo, spyxfamily, tsubasa reservoir chronicles, xxxholic, the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all, colette decides to die, sasaki and miyano, honey lemon soda, yona of the dawn, yume no hashibashi, frieren: journey's end, detective conan... gravity falls, steven universe, the owl house
thanks for reading ig...
i bring today the theory that the clock-keepers cat isn't a yugi twin, but actually the yugi mom
the twins have HER eyes!!!
so does the cat!!
"but it has hanako/tsukasa's personality" well, kids do have their parents personality!
and it's nowhere said that the cat is male, so it can be female!!
"it's a male suit" wrong, it's just the clock-keeper aesthetic!!
Summary: I will be dividing this essay into two main parts to address what Dazai had said in this panel to Dazai-sensei’s writing. Then, in one short part I will attempt to connect some of what I had said back to BSD Dazai as a theory.
A/N: Basically take it as me rambling about my favorite bsd dazai panel and some of my personal take on dazai works which escalated and turned out much longer than I originally imagined… (by that I mean this became 6k+ words) Also just my contribution to Dazai’s birthday <3 Also note that use of Chinese is present in this, since it’s much easier to find translated works of Dazai in this language, but if I do quote it, I will attempt to translate it
Warnings: Mentions of suicide, (if you’re uncomfortable with it) religious wording, spoilers to some of Dazai’s stories (works discussed [in relatively more detail]: No Longer Human, Otogizoshi, Blue Bamboo, Thinking of Zenzo, 正義與微笑, 思考的蘆葦)
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Sometimes I think we forget that we're dealing with middle school/high school aged characters. Literal children.
And this includes Hanako.
Sure, Hanako is decades older than most of the main cast, and so you could make an argument that he's technically this ancient being, trapped to forever inhabit a 13 year olds body.
But I don't think it negates the fact he is literally still a 13 year old boy. I think we forget he is still a middle school boy at heart and a lot of what is going on is most likely extremely new to him, and so he's going to handle it to the best of his ability—as a 13 year old boy, and as an ancient Supernatural.
Nene is possibly the first and only girl he's ever had a serious crush on—actually, she is possibly the first and only girl Hanako has ever crushed on, loved, and kissed. I'm not sure at any point in Hanako's life, as Amane and as Honorable No. 7, he thought getting to have something as normal and common as a crush, a first love, and all that entails, could be possible for him. I doubt that was any concern of his as Amane, considering what he was going through at the time, and I doubt he believed it at all possible as Hanako, dead and gone and just a rumor in the school, nothing more.
There is something cute and sweet and endearing about their relationship first starting off in the series. Hanako is more like a friendly guide to Nene—she is his assistant, and at the start she was extremely green to the world and happenings of the Supernatural world. He wasn't the one to initiate the friendship-stage—he merely brought up how that's how it feels, having Yashiro around every day to clean the girls' restroom. He obviously wasn't planning on getting attached, as he knew from the beginning she was close to death and well isn't that how it is with humans, they die so easily, it's too bad but it is what it is.
It was Nene who initiated it. She made the big step to go from -san to -kun. No longer would there be an illusion of friendship from Hanako's perspective—they are friends, Nene made it so.
People say the turning point to their relationship changing from guiding mentor/assistant to more was the Picture Perfect Arc, but I would argue it started at the rooftop where Nene made the decision to call him her friend.
From that point, we get to see the progression of this friendship to something much more, because they were now actively beginning to move passed simply being this friendly, but almost business-like partnership. It was gradual and very natural, but when you compare their relationship from the start to where we are now, there is a stark contrast.
I do believe the change in how Hanako interacts and treats Nene also stems from the growth and wisdom she has obtained via the experiences she's had so far.
Nene is not a simple bystander in this relationship, she really is the driving force behind it. We know that Hanako would have probably left things well enough alone from the start, just her being his assistant, helping him deal with certain supernatural occurrences, fix rumors, clean his bathroom, etc. and simply make sure she was at least having some fun doing it because he knew her days were numbered. He wasn't uncaring, but he was pretty practical about it, being a School Mystery Supernatural and all.
He was doing his job. Like the other Mysteries, he actually takes his job pretty seriously. We see this in how, similar to No. 4, No. 6, and now No. 1, they all can get tunnel-vision and resort to drastic, extreme, and almost tyrannical means to accomplish the ends.
But then Nene makes him her friend, and meeting her results in him making other friends (primarily Kou), and all of a sudden it's not so simple as doing his job and protecting the humans under the Mysteries charge at this school.
Suddenly it's not so simple, because he grows attached, and she continues to do things and say things that further drive their relationship to something resembling romantic, first love. She becomes very important to him, to the point his drive of granting her wish (saving her) has changed him and has made him act out in ways which, truthfully, have been mislabeled (more on this in a second).
Nene will always call out for Hanako to save her because insofar he has never failed to be there to save her. Sure, at the beginning he might have taken a more passive approach in helping her, as it's usually because he believes she can get herself out of certain situations on her own (think of the Tea Party Arc, where technically Nene does get herself in that situation by her own naivety and fault of falling for a pretty face) and that was endearing.
But Nene is not always a damsel in distress. Nene is not stupid. Sure, she's 15, and she's a little dorky and silly and she does have a boycrazy problem, but what fifteen year old girl doesn't? And she's fully aware of herself! She is honest about her faults, and she knows when to admit she has made a mistake and when she needs help.
But Nene has grown, and if the last chapter doesn't prove that then I don't know how else to convince you. She is a young woman who has crossed six boundaries, has faced spirits and other supernaturals, and has leaped through time, has confronted Death, and will continue to confront and fight it, and is in love with a School Mystery Supernatural.
She does not need Hanako to always hold her hand like he had to in the beginning. She might be scared, she might feel utterly alone, but she is doing it scared, and she is determined, and she is capable.
It then only makes sense that Hanako and Nene's relationship would have to change. We can look back at the start, and be completed smitten and charmed by the beginnings of what their relationship looked like, how Hanako treated her.
But as she became less his assistant and more like something of a crush, a first love, a maybe girlfriend/lover (a girl who has gone through every trial and tribulation so far with him and still wants to BE with him), then of course, for a character like Hanako, not only would this change how he handles and treats her, but also how he might act out.
Again, she is probably, most definitely his first in everything, similar to how he is turning out to be her first in a lot of things too.
Nene is made for love, she's a lover girl at heart, a romantic, and so falling in love with a boy (even a dead, ghost boy) doesn't really faze her. She used to vehemently deny anything being there between them, but as she got to know Hanako, and spend time with him, and love him despite all his flaws, despite him being dead, despite him murdering—when Mitsuba accuses her of falling madly in love with Hanako, she can't even bring herself to act shocked and bewildered. Instead, Nene has come to accept, quite easily, she does love him, and she does want him to know that she doesn't just like-like him, but that she loves him. It's very easy and natural for her.
It is not easy and natural for someone like Hanako. It's probably like pulling teeth, when he's put on the spot, when he's expected to openly admit his feelings. We've seen this. He can't be direct about his feelings, it's like trying to throw a cat in a tub full of water. He won't do it, it almost seems to physically pain him to be so honest and vulnerable like that. The idea of love, of being loved, scares him, or at least leaves him nauseous and off-kilter.
Because he's dead, and the dead and the living can't stay together. Even if Nene dies, if that is truly what's going to happen and neither can stop it, worse, he's a special kind of dead thing, and she won't be, and so even after death they apparently can't be together.
So love would be out of the question, wouldn't it? Yet here it is, a thing called love, a girl called Yashiro Nene.
Circling back, I don't think Hanako fits the Yandere category. It's funny to call him that, but I would not describe the love between Hanako and Nene as a ''sickness.'' He has not become a Yandere, and I don't see him ever being one. If you've read Aidalro's short comic, My Dear Living Dead, then I would say the boy in that story would better fit the category of a Yandere—his love becoming so obsessive, all consuming, and makes him so unstable that it does become a dangerous kind of sickness.
Hanako is trying to balance being a dead, 13 year old boy, and a School Mystery Supernatural. Now I'm not saying this excuses him for any fumble and fuck up he's made, but I think it more than explains why he's not going to handle this situation perfectly and maturely. Why he might kind of be really bad at handling the fact that the girl he was supposed to grant a silly love wish for has now become basically his entire world, this living girl, who is actually going to die, but he doesn't want her to die because he loves her and even if it'll break him and whatever resembles a heart, he is willing to sacrifice himself, and possibly others, to save her.
I think the biggest example people might use of him being a Yandere is how he acted during the PP Arc. That he was willing to make himself out to be the villain, just because he believed that this was the only way to halt the progression of her life coming to an abrupt end. Living in a painting, living out her days in a pretend world, as long as it was real enough for her. We could also say that it could've been a bit of a selfish indulgence on his part, because he was able to "live" alongside her in that world, be a normal boy, with a normal crush, and go on normal dates, etc.
So what if she forgot the real world? Forgot the real him? She could be happy there, she could stay alive there. She could live to be a hundred in that world.
But I don't see that as a sickness, as much as it's an example of a School Mystery Supernatural kind of going haywire in trying to complete it's duty (which we've seen can happen, Supernaturals not really taking into account what it could effect as long as their decision accomplishes what needs to be done) Hanako is not immune to this happening.
But also, he cares about her, and he loves her, and he definitely loved her during that Arc. Love can make people act stupid, extreme, unthinking, foolish. Being that Nene is his first love, I'm actually not even surprised by this first attempt at prolonging her life. She couldn't understand why he was doing it, and of course Hanako was not direct with her in his reason for why he was doing it, at all. "Yes, why am I doing this."
But later on, when she's coming to the realization that Hanako might have feelings for her, and she takes note that Hanako has never been direct with what he means and how he feels, and one of the examples was when he said that to her in the PP Arc while she was imprisoned. So I think, unconsciously, Nene knew why Hanako was doing what he was doing.
Anyway, it's not like he went through with keeping them all in a painting of No. 4's making, because Nene was able to talk him down and he was willing to finally listen to her. If his love for her was a sickness, she wouldn't have been able to get through to him at all. His decision would have been final.
But Hanako actually cares what Nene thinks and feels and has to say, even if he was initially thoughtless and careless with his decision, in the end, he does care about what she wants.
Hanako was also going to accept never getting to see Nene again. Like yeah, it's bad that he was willing to put Aoi in Nene's place so that Nene could live—but are we forgetting that, technically, Aoi wanted to go away? Maybe she didn't want to die, but she did want to disappear, she wanted to leave. Hanako made his decision, but so did Aoi, who is more than capable of making her own brash, stupid decisions as any other fifteen year old girl.
Anyway, Hanako was willing to let Nene go, even if it meant her not only forgetting about him, but also hating him.
Yandere's do not want their crush to hate them. They do not want to be separated from their love interest, ever. They would rather kill them both, or hurt their love interest, than ever let them live without them, or move on from them.
Hanako has not intentionally tried hurting Nene. I think he would shatter into a thousand pieces if he accidentally physically hurt her, too.
Hanako's attempts so far to save Nene may have been ill-advised, impulsive, foolish, and extreme. Hanako can act selfish, possessive, jealous, and sometimes even insensitive. He can get tunnel-vision when it comes to saving Nene. He wants to be the only one to save her and give her the possibility of a life because it's the only way he knows how he'll get to love her and "be" with her.
But, as we've seen, it's not like he gets away with it, it's not like these things aren't addressed, and it's not like he completely disregards what the others have to say to him once they catch him acting up.
Nene made it a point to tell him how she does not like how he will make these rash decisions and plans without telling anyone (without asking her) because he thinks he knows what's best. Nene, like in their relationship, is a large driving forcing in Hanako's character development. She may make excuses for him at times, but when he does fuck up, when he does do something crazy like in the PP Arc, or basically letting her best friend Aoi take her place to be sacrificed and disappearing on her like he did in Severance—she lets him know immediately that what he's doing isn't right, and it's especially not something she would want.
To the point that she's taken her wish back of wanting to live. To the point of pretending that she's accepted her death and that she would stay behind with Hanako, or in the far shore, while the others got out and saved Aoi. Because I think she knows that Hanako can get this tunnel-vision when it comes to her and her life, and that he wants to be the one to give that to her.
Hanako isn't a Yandere, he's just a boy with a very unfortunate past, who has tons of baggage, dead, a supernatural with serious responsibilities, and is severely down bad for a living girl who is on the cusp of death. Honestly, he could be handling this much worse than he has been. And maybe he might, but we'll just have to see.
He is navigating the unknowns as best as he can. He's not unreachable, he's not any more unstable than all the other characters in the series right now, having to deal with their own hangups, issues, and flaws. Almost all of them teenagers. Of course they're all a little unstable and stupid.
So, I don't know, I guess the point of this post is that Hanako is not a Yandere, by definition and by characterization, and while he definitely deserves to be called out for certain choices and actions, that maybe we should cut him a little slack. He is literally going through it.
the walk home
so what if the next POV is yosano, lucy & kyouka bc WHERE ARE MY GIRLS? they have to save the day or this will be a tragedy!! i miss them :[
watching the new episode i can't help but wonder how hanako felt when, trying to act closer to what nene would like, she is just missing the real him
IT'S DONE This was actually one of the very first ideas I wanted to draw for skk, because (as someone rightly pointed out in the tags) they are just so in synchro when they work together, I can't help but think that would translate for dancing as well
reviews something something the only place where i'm not a hater @/myotsune on twt
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