The Sun Is A Blue Moon (Part 2)

The Sun is a Blue Moon (Part 2)

The Sun Is A Blue Moon (Part 2)

A/N: here’s part two of the sun is a blue moon! I wrote this once and hated it about 3k in so I scrapped it and started over and I’m waaaay happier with how it came out than what I originally had planned. Oh and it ended up all being from Peters third person view somehow??? yeah idk. I hope y’all like it <3

Summary: “Only the gentle are ever really strong.” - James Dean

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: violence, blood, injuries, fighting, battle, anxiety, panic, fearing the death of a loved one, gried, sadness, death

Playlist: End of the World by Nightriots

             Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe, FINNEAS

             As the World Caves in by Sarah Cothran

read part one here

Peter looked back to his notes, checking to make sure his measurements were correct before adding the white cap into the potion, the bubbling encouraging him further. He observed the reaction before picking up his pen and jotting down what he saw on the marked up page, his pinkie smudging the still drying inscriptions on the line above. He adjusted his glasses before continuing on with his work, his mind wandering to y/n who was currently in care of magical creatures while he was in his free period, working on his own potions. His eyes flashed down to the small daffodil colored yarn bracelet that was woven in with white yarn that she had made for him. Everyone in their group had gotten one that she made them in their house color except him. He was special and got her house color. Her glowing face filled his mind and he couldn’t help but smile a little. 

Peter Parker was in love. 

He had been in love with y/n since early December when the snow was just starting to really stick to the ground and everyone wore their thickest robes. He didn’t know when it happened- there wasn’t some defining moment that pushed him off the proverbial cliff, but he realized it when they were laying together in his bed. Y/N had snuck into the Ravenclaw common room which took quite the effort on her part, having not only managed to sneak from one end of the castle to the other since the Hufflepuff dorms and Ravenclaw tower were on opposite ends of the castle, but she had also spent quite some time trying to guess the riddle that would allow her into Ravenclaw. She wasn’t good at riddles but she’d taken her time and got lucky. Peter hadn’t known she was coming and when he was woken by a small poke on his bare shoulder, he’d woken and had to blink a couple times, making sure it was girlfriend looking down at him.

“How did you get in here?” He was bewildered and looking behind him to make sure that his roommate was still asleep and sure enough he, being the heavy sleeper he was, was still out cold.

“I guessed the riddle.” She whispered with a shrug like that was all she needed to explain. 

His hand ran across his one eye. He took her in, looking for a visible explanation as to why she had taken such a huge risk to get there. He was now more awake and realized her eyes were irritated and her cheeks duller and stripped of its natural oils, suggesting she had either recently washed her face or been crying. He went with the latter once he took in her locket that was twisted around and the clasp close to the locket itself. It looked like her fingers hadn’t been able to let go of it all night. The first time he had seen her have an anxiety attack, her small first had been gripping the locket like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to earth. He always knew the days her anxiety was bad with just a look at the chain around her neck.

Instantly becoming more alert, he sat up, large hand framing her face while his other found her hand. “What happened?”

Swallowing, she sucked on her bottom lip and he saw tears start to rise in her eyes. “You know that bird's nest that’s right outside the window of the common room?”

He thought back to the birds nest saga he had been getting daily updated on for the last week. The entire house of Hufflepuff was enamored by the mother dove that had built a nest in the crook of one of the outside windows in the Hufflepuff common room. Two days ago she had laid four eggs, all varying shades of blue with brown spots of them. 

“Yeah.” He nodded. 

Her chin quivered and more tears rapidly flooded her eyes. “One of the eggs fell out of the nest earlier tonight.”

His heart dropped in his chest. “Oh, sweetheart.”

She collapsed into him and his arms enveloped her and wrapped around her tightly, pulling her further into his warm bed and throwing the blanket over her as well. She cried softly into his chest, tears hitting his bare skin as he smoothed down the back of her hair, leaving small kisses on her forehead. 

“She was so sad.” She cried softly. “She just kept looking for it in the nest.”

It was sad to hear but he didn’t quite feel it as deeply as he knew y/n did. Hufflepuffs were natural empaths and felt things deeply, y/n maybe more so than the average Hufflepuff. He knew that her heart was aching and she was feeling everything the mother bird was feeling. 

Her crying stopped after a few minutes but they didn’t barely move after. 

“I’m going to go and see if I can find the egg in the morning. I already looked for it but it’s too dark.”

He loathed the idea of her wandering the grounds at night by herself but knew why she did what she did and that at that point it didn’t matter nor was it the time to say something about it, even if the idea of it did scare the shit out of him. There were dangerous things outside of Hogwarts at night.

“I’ll go with you. We can give it a little funeral if we have to.”

She nodded, face somber. “Please.”

The gentle silence filled the space around them and Peter put a kiss on the tip of her red nose, rubbing her back to soothe her. Having her in his bed made him feel at ease in a way he didn’t know he needed. He was going to have a difficult time not having her beside him at night now that he knew what it was like. Maybe y/n could give him some pointers on how to get into Hufflepuff.

“I like this.” She confessed, her voice nearly undetectable, eyes trusting and allowing him to see right into her. He was the only person on the planet she dropped her guard in front of. A brick wall of anxiety and self consciousness had been impenetrable to everyone except for him. He had been able to find a secret door in that brick wall.

“Me too.” He whispered back. 

“Oh.” She inhaled. “I found that book on unicorns you were looking for.”

His ears perked up. “Yeah?”

“Someone misplaced it. Found it in the Wizarding War section. I checked it out for you.”

He stared at her, his thumb pulling gently at her smooth bottom lip. “What would I do without you?”

“Be without a citation.” She snarked with a small smile. “Always have ink on your face. Get into way more fights.” She listed.

He smirked at the mention of a fight. 

Two weeks prior to that he had punched a Slytherin in the face for calling y/n a mudblood. He was one of those pure blood elitists and didn’t realize that Peter had been within earshot when he said it. “I don’t know how Parker dates a mudblood” he had sneered in disgust. Peter had felt anger before. He’d even say he has felt rage before. It may not have been a very common occurrence but he was not unfamiliar with being so angry he felt red hot rage, but he had never before felt white hot rage until the moment the word mudblood fell from the Slytherin boy's tongue. It filled his body starting at his chest and going into his hands, making them pulse and his vision go hazy. He had walked up to the boy and decked him right in the face- right there in the waiting to begin classroom. It had gotten him in serious trouble but he didn’t care. He had accepted and knew those consequences would come the second the Slytherin hit the floor. He wasn’t going to let anyone mouth off about his girl, let alone in front of him and especially not when they called her a mudblood.

She had balked when he told her why his right hand was swollen and with a small break in the skin at the knuckle on his middle finger. After making him promise he wouldn’t go around punching anyone else- yes even if they did call her a mudblood, she had eagerly pushed him against the wall of the vacant hallway, taking him beyond surprise, and kissed him until he was dizzy and couldn’t think straight. If someone had asked him then for a potions equation he had already mastered he wouldn’t have been able to give them a single number. 

“See the thing about that is that after that fight you kissed me and it’s a kiss I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” Her ears went red and he could only chuckle at this. “I still can’t believe me throwing a punch did it for you.”

“It wasn’t because you punched someone.” She argued, eyes down on his lips. “It’s because you punched someone for me. You defended me and I don’t know…it’s really, really hot.”

“And you want me to not punch someone else for you when you tell me how hot you think it is?” He challenged, an eyebrow raised. 

“Just shut up and kiss me, Pete.”

“I can do that.” He chortled, closing the gap between them and kissing her, her cold hands pressing against his chest and sending chills down his spine. 

They made out in Peter’s bed for a while, the most scandalous part of it when she let him slip his hand up her shirt and cop a feel. They hadn’t gone very far when it came to intimacy, both nervous and unsure about what they were doing. Peter didn’t want to make y/n uncomfortable or feel pressured and y/n was afraid to do something wrong or be bad at it. What they both knew was that when they were ready, they wanted their first time to be with each other.

They both knew she couldn’t stay the entire night even though neither wanted her to go. 

“I’ll walk you back.”

“So you can be in even more trouble if you get caught?”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. I don’t want you walking to the other side of the castle by yourself.”

“You act like I’m going to run into you know who.”

“Don’t even joke about that.” He glared. “This isn’t up for debate.”

She sighed but didn’t argue further, though neither made any effort to move. He flittered with the idea of just staying there until the hour before sunrise and then walking her back. They could be together for a few more hours and bask in the feeling of being in a bed together. It was something he didn’t know how badly he wanted it until he had it. Having her in his arms with a thick blanket over them, their body heat mingling together and their breath mixing in the small space between them was intoxicating. He never wanted it to end. It was like nothing else existed in the world except for them in the bed. There wasn’t charms homework to stress about or people to call y/n names that made him want to punch them or curious eyes watching them. It was just them.

As he stared at her, the realization came to him sort of like a song in the background getting louder and louder until eventually he took notice of him. He realized he was in love with her. It was a lot like putting change in a vending machine; eventually you’d have enough to get what you wanted. All the pennies and nickels and dimes had added up and he was in love with y/n.

He told her when he had walked her back to Hufflepuff and she had looked at him with those big eyes that made him melt into a puddle of mush and said it back, making him wonder if it was possible to die from being in love. Peter had all but floated back to Ravenclaw, a giant smile on his face and, for the first time, holding someone’s heart in his chest instead of his own. No, his own heart was with y/n and he had hers.

The over-bubble of his potion pulled him back to the present and he shook his head, trying to salvage his work that he had been distracted from. She wasn’t even in the room and she was distracting him. She was like a mind sickness that consumed him and kept him awake at night wondering if she was thinking of him like he was her and distracted him from his potions and spells. A girl made of sunshine had put a spell on him and he never wanted it to go away. 

Class ended and he slung his robe over his arm and headed for the great hall, searching for y/n as he made his way to the table, Win and Gwen already there. He sat beside them and greeted them, neck craning around the flocks of students to look for his girl who was usually already at the table.

Just as he was about to ask Gwen and Win if they had seen y/n, he felt someone sit right beside him and knew who it was. 

“Hey.” She greeted everyone, voice chipper and eyes bright. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” He grinned, kissing her cheek and lacing their hands together. 

“Y/N, please tell me you can teach me how to do that braid.” Win gushed, eyes running up and down y/n’s hair.

Today y/n had braided her hair in a french braid, strands falling at her temples. She hadn’t done it in years but woke up feeling like it was going to be a good day so she did the braid and loved the way it looked. Peter had complimented it as they walked to her first class and she was sure she was going to do it everyday for the rest of the year. 

“Oh, for sure!” She nodded. “It’s easy.”

Win squealed just as Harry was sitting down, making him wince at the high pitched noise. “We could have a girls night! I’ll sneak you guys into Gryffindor and we can do our nails and stuff.”

They all agreed and as they talked, the rest of their ground made their way to the table. Peter noticed the small chill that ran through y/n and draped his robe around her shoulders. She always got cold in the great hall and he put his robe on her during meals. She gave him a grateful smile, tugging it closer and putting her attention back on Flash who was telling some story from their second year.

It was in Peter’s last class of that day that the loud rumble shook the entire castle like an earthquake. Everyone had gone silent and perked up, unsure of what was going on. Snape bolted to the doors only for Flitwick to burst them open, startling everyone further. 

“The school is under attack! Dumbledore wants all the children to be sent back to their dorms!”

Snape rushed out while the students followed, all heading in different directions in pure panic and lack of real guidance from adults.

Peter didn’t go to the Ravenclaw tower like the rest of the students in the blue ties. No, he headed for Hufflepuff. He had no idea where y/n was but he wasn’t going to be away from her when Hogwarts was under attack from who knows what. So many bad things could happen. Peter didn’t even want to think about what could happen. All he knew was that he had to get to her and he would do it no matter what. She just had to stay safe until he got there and then he would protect her. He knew how she felt about using magic to harm others but he didn’t know if that applied to those trying to harm her. Would she still raise her wand? He didn’t know. He couldn’t picture her raising her wand with intent to harm- it just wasn’t something he could see her doing. She saw the good in people and was someone who could talk anyone down from anything with just one look.

“I’m coming, y/n.” He breathed as he ran down the stairs, students fleeing past him and screams filling the air. It felt like he was in a nightmare or a horror movie that took place right in Hogwarts.

As he turned the corner after reaching the last step, he was horrified to see the main floor was in shambles. The east wall had been taken out completely, crushed brick and marble everywhere as death eaters flooded inside, fighting with professors and students, spells being cast from wands left and right.  

He saw a terrified first year struggling to hold their own against an enemy and knew that he had to help. He couldn’t just let them struggle. That’s not who he was. Aunt May had been so sure that he would be sorted into Gryffindor because of his lion's heart.

Wherever y/n was, he begged that she was safe for now. 

His wand out and ready, he threw an attack at the death eater that was challenging the young student. Peter battled strongly, surprised at the sheer force of his magic and the way his spells came out more powerful than the rest of the students around him. He didn’t know if it was because of how advanced he was or because of the pure adrenaline bolting through his veins or because of how he felt the need to protect every single person who couldn’t protect themselves. He’d always stood up for people before but this made him feel like he was personally responsible for the well-being of everyone. Like he was some kind of superhero. 

As he was battling alongside other sixth and seventh years as well as Hogwarts faculty, he was looking for a yellow tie and the shine of his girlfriend’s hair that he would know anywhere, even in the fight of his life. Every flash of yellow had him whipping his head in that direction, this proved near deadly a couple times, and every time it wasn’t her he felt his panic rise. It was like the music in the build up of a movie scene when the bad guy is just around the corner and the main character has no idea they’re there with an axe. With a clenched jaw and tight shoulders, he relentlessly fought his way toward the kitchens, looking for y/n as he went and trying to keep his mind together. He felt like he was being pulled in two different directions; his heart and his morals. He felt obligated to help everyone who needed it and not let anyone go without aid. It was who he was and who his Uncle Ben and Aunt May raised him to be; a good man who stopped when someone needed help. But his heart…his heart was begging with him- pleading with him to forget everyone else and find the one person that made it beat inside his chest. His heart was trying to pull him in its desired direction, his chest feeling like it was being tugged at.

At what felt like the end of the world, Peter was trying to find her. He was trudging through war and death, fighting like hell to try and get to her; to try and find her. He would fight for a hundred hours, cast a thousand spells, and travel a million miles to find her. She just needed to stay breathing until he got there. 

It was when he was just around the corner from the kitchens, so close to Hufflepuff his morals were starting to lose the battle to his heart, that he saw it.  He’d have missed it if it hadn’t been for the light reflecting off it from someone's cast spell.

On the floor was y/n’s heart shaped locket. 

Cold dread filled Peter and he could feel himself go pale. His stomach fell to his feet and his heart, the heart that had been shaking him by his shoulders and screaming at him since the damn battle had started, felt like a metal vice was squeezing on it.

She never took that golden chain off, often falling asleep with it on and only removing it to shower. It was her most important possession and something that kept her grounded and stable. She would toy with it when she was anxious, fingernail breaking open the clasp only for her to snap it right shut. The sound of it opening and closing was something that Peter had gotten used to but didn’t hear it as much as he did when they had first started dating. 

The worst case scenario ran through his head and he briefly wondered who he had helped along the way that cost him y/n. Who did he trade her for? Of the dozen or so people he had helped on his way across the castle, who had been the one that he saved while the light faded from his sunshine? He would have been able to protect her and save her but he sacrificed her for someone else.

He rushed over to it, bumping into someone but paying no attention to them as he leaned down to scrape it up. The once pristine gold now had dents and nicks, the luster dimmed, and the clasp broken. Something he hadn’t seen before was the dried blood on the chain. It nearly made him drop to his knees, his body feeling as heavy as the necklace that was in his hand.

Realistically, he knew that just because she lost her necklace didn’t mean she was dead and he was desperately trying to cling to that. But something had happened to her that made her lose her locket and something had prevented her from retrieving it. The blood on the chain had to be from her. There wasn’t blood on the floor where the locket had been meaning the blood had to have already been on it when it fell off of her. If she wasn’t…dead then she was at the very least injured and that was enough to have him seething. Even if he found her alive he would still be out for blood, determined to make them spill ten times the amount of blood that they had made y/n spill. He was going to seek justice- no, revenge on everyone that had sent their wand her way. 

Then Peter turned, ready to do just that, and the air was stolen from his lungs. 

Coming out of the Hufflepuff corridor with others behind her was y/n.

And she was magnificent.

Her hair bounced from the force of the cast of her wand and she seemed to glow gold from the light of the sun coming through the nearby window as she fought without any trace of fear, body moving with expertise and without hesitance as if Athena herself lived within her. There was a deep cut across her collarbone that was revealed by the lack of tie and partially unbuttoned linen button up and a scrape above her eyebrow. Her left sleeve was rolled up haphazardly, like she had rolled them both up seconds before her fight began but one had fallen from combat. She was a warrior and a goddess and his y/n all at the same time. And she was alive.

Seeing her alive actually did bring him to his knees, his heart having gone through too much throughout the day to support him through another whirlwind of emotion that hit him like a train. She was alive and breathing and she was arguably holding her own. It made his shoulders sag back, weak at seeing her become a goddess. He had been picturing her hiding in a closet the entire time like a small puppy; scared and wishing for him to come. Instead she was fighting back with a strength he didn’t know she had in her. She held her wand with the most confidence he had ever seen her possess, her spells stronger than his had been. She spoke clearly and boldly with no tremor or trace of anxiety in her tone. She was leading the charge in her house. How he had underestimated her placement as a Hufflepuff, a people known to be unafraid of toil. How he had underestimated her. 

Peter felt like he was watching her in slow motion and then she was looking in his direction, doing a double take at seeing him there. She sent out a forceful spell at her foe before rushing over to him and dropping down in front of him, hands cupping face and lips moving. She looked concerned, eyebrows knitted together and eyes clouded with worry. It was then that he realized she was talking to him, asking him if he was okay.

“You’re alive.” He gasped before crushing her against his chest, hands gripping her back tight and never wanting to let go. “God, I was so fuckin’ scared.”

“I know.” She breathed, fingers threading through his locks at the back of his head. “I was too. I wanted to try and find you but…”

“I know.”

Their reunion was cut short by a deatheater seeing their vulnerability and raising his wand toward them. Peter’s eyes went wide, thinking of their position. Y/N’s body was directly in front of his. She would take the hit if he didn’t make a drastic move.

But his girl- his sweet, beautiful, kind, gentle Hufflepuff surprised him again. She jumped up, her arm raised. “Expelliarmus!” She lashed and Peter watched as the enemy was disarmed. She took it a step further and cast a sectumsempra spell, harming him and causing him to turn and run. It would have been comical to see someone running away from y/n in fear if he hadn’t been so stunned and full of awe and maybe even a little turned on by the tenacity she was exuding.

Once Peter got over his shock, he was up and fighting alongside her, having her back and her having his. They defended the part of the school they could before finally it was over and what surviving enemies that still lingered realized they were losing and surrendered or escaped. 

The battle-worn students and school faculty were gathered in the great hall where wounded were being taken care of and loved ones reunited. It was a sea of tears, both of relief and grief. They met up with their friends who were all well and victorious, happy to see the couple together and just as victorious. Hugs went around as well as a few tears from Win who had been worried about the two more than anyone.

Peter and y/n walked holding hands, both physically beaten but feeling alive as ever. Y/N leaned into his side as they sat on the rows of opened up bleachers. He couldn’t stop looking at her, seeing that moment when she had emerged from the hallway bathed in golden sunlight and war over and over again in his head. He saw her in a different light. He had always known she was the sun of life; keeping him warm and putting the kick in his step. But he didn’t realize until then just how rare she was now that he was seeing the other side of the sun that didn’t usually face him. She was the all smiles, spoke to everyone like they mattered more than the world, made friendship bracelets for people, purposely picked out the ugliest looking cookie on the tray just so it would get picked kind of soul. But she was also the defend her house to the death, cast out sectumsempra spells, lead the charge of the battle kind of soul. Those kinds of people who were those two sides of the same coin were rare. Once in a blue moon kind of rare. His sun was a blue moon and the irony was not lost on him.

“What?” She asked, eyeing the way he was looking at her. 

“The entire time I was trying to get to you. You know, I was convinced that you were hiding in a closet somewhere? Then I get there and you’re…you’re not just fighting but you’re leading it. I had no idea you had that in you.” He mused, eyes dancing with pride. 

She beamed. “I didn’t either. It just kind of happened. I didn’t even think, I guess. They tried to get in and I just started fighting.”

The memory of her locket hit him and he fished it out from his pocket. “I found this on the floor. I thought something bad happened to you when I saw it there. Had me worried for a second.” That was an understatement. But she didn’t need to know about the true heartbreak he had felt for the thirty seconds he thought the sun had set permanently.

Her face fell into relief at seeing her locket in his open palm. “Oh my god. I thought it was gone forever. Some tried to put a levicorpus spell on me but it got my necklace instead. I tried to find it but there was so much going on.”

Brushing her hair to the side, Peter wrapped the necklace around her neck and clasped it on, letting it rest on her chest where it belonged.

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3 years ago

can I request shy reader who doesn’t really know how to say I love you and really wants to but she’s anxious and awkward and Peter says it all the time and she’s afraid that she’s not living up to his expectations?

that’s a lot but I’m just really feeling like I could use some Peter comfort after a long day of attempting to handle my feelings and live up to what i think other people deserve from me (which is way more than reality)

love you jade, all your fics make me feel so seen and not alone. they made me okay with a lot of things I’m super insecure about, mentally and physically and gives me a lot of comfort <3

hi I’m sorry I went a little low on the comfort part but I promise Peter is very understanding lmao ! ILY anon and I’m so happy to have you, please know the only persons expectations u need to live upto are ur own (and even then its not too high stales as long as ur happy)))!

"I love you," Peter says. 

You smile and reach for his wrist, rubbing your thumb over the fine hairs there. You hope it says I love you back but somehow you know it's not the same. You want to say it aloud; you do love him, you just can't make yourself. The words feel foreign. 

Ever patient, Peter pulls you towards him and dots a quick kiss in your hair. 

"Alright, see you later honeybee," he says warmly. You let his wrist go slowly as he pulls away, watching his back retreat up the steps of the ESU library. 

It's about two minutes before you realise you're still standing there. 

It doesn't feel fair. You know that you love him, and maybe he knows that you do – but he deserves to be told. Of course he does. You start up the steps before you've formulated a plan, through the double doors, up a flight of stairs to the quiet computer lab. 

Peter's thankfully right by the door. There's not many people, only one without headphones. You clear your throat and Peter looks up. He's pleased and then concerned. 

"Everything okay?" he asks quickly. "Y/N?"

You didn't plan ahead. You stand there in the doorway, take a hesitant step toward him. Breathing too fast to be casual.

"Peter," you say, very quietly. 

"Yeah, what is it?" he asks. 

He holds his hands out, twisting his chair towards you. You falter. If he gets his hands on you you're ability to speak will diminish by at least fifty percent and you need all guns blazing for this one. 

"You're freaking me out," he says. 

"I have to tell you," you start, and then stop. You worry you sound like you're gonna break up with him. Or that you have a secret family. It's awful. It doesn't sound like a proclamation of love. "Uh, I mean. Okay, I'll start again. I want to tell you, and I find it so hard but that's not because you don't make it easy to… to love you." You're mumbling, looking anywhere but his face. The last sentence is a slip up, you don't mean to say it like that. 

You take a shuddering breath. Your hands are shaking you're so nervous, so awkward, so afraid of embarrassing yourself that you've managed it thrice. 

You step into the reach of his hands and glance around to make sure no one's listening to your display of ineptitude. 

Peter takes your forearms into his hands, slides them down until he's clutching your elbows. 

You chance a glance at his face, find his lips determined in a flat line but his eyes betray his amusement, his fondness. 

"I love you." You feel sorry for how strange it sounds. 

"I know that," he whispers. He smiles so wide you think he might split his lip. His lips press together again like he's trying to contain himself, looking up at you with bright eyes. "C'mon, I know. Don't have to work yourself up so much over that." 

 "No, I do, 'cos you always tell me and I never tell you, and you should know because you're the best thing in my whole world," you whisper, incensed; angry with yourself in the depth of his kindness. 

"Honey," he says softly, "you're fine. You don't have to force yourself." Then, with a huge smirk, "It is awesome to be told, of course, but I already knew. So don't worry about it." 

You reach down to hug him and he receives you eagerly, a bone crushing, excited hug. Suddenly, the adrenaline of telling him hits you. "I love you," you tell him again. 

His arms crush you impossibly tighter. "I love you too. You're your own worst enemy, you know that? Don't stress so much." 

You let out an annoyed, grievous sigh, mouth pressed to his cheek. 

"You come all the way up here to tell me that? Or, let me guess, you want to practice linear equations with me?" he asks teasingly as you pull away, wagging his eyebrows. 

"No…" you moan, digging your face back into his neck. He chuckles and pats your back. 

"Poor girl. They get easier, I swear,” he says gently. You're not sure if he means proclamations of love or linear equations, but both feel like a lie.

3 years ago

Live footage of me writing this for V and V only

Live Footage Of Me Writing This For V And V Only

What if I told you I was working on a prompt for Ravelclaw!Peter and Hufflepuff!reader? What then V?

Well Daisy, I’d have to scream and jump and worship the very ground you walk on because YES PLEASE

What If I Told You I Was Working On A Prompt For Ravelclaw!Peter And Hufflepuff!reader? What Then V?
3 years ago

First fight with Pete ? 🥺 making the reader cry and instantly breaking down bc he didn’t mean it

i'm no good at writing angst i feel, but i tried my best <3 i hope it turned out okay!

First Fight With Pete ? 🥺 Making The Reader Cry And Instantly Breaking Down Bc He Didn’t Mean It

9:57.

It had now been close to three hours since Peter hadn't shown up at your place for the date night you'd planned and although him being late or missing events for spider-related reasons wasn't anything new, that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

You understood he didn't control when criminals decided to cause chaos, and you understood the purpose being Spider-Man gave him. It lit up his eyes with determination and a feeling of self-worth that you wished he could feel all the time. Some nights it brought pain into those eyes, a sadness you wished you could cure with the thousands of kisses and soft touches you were sure you'd given him by now, but you knew it just wasn't possible. You did your best to share that weight, though. Push it off his shoulders as much as possible, letting him know the people that escaped his webs, whether for capture or for saving, they weren't his fault. He was one person, a man and not a god, and he simply couldn't do it all. And that was okay.

You understood. You always did. Because you loved Peter Parker. And you loved Spider-Man, too, but lately it'd been harder and harder to feel fondness for the superhero for stealing your time with Peter. You wished taking a sabbatical from vigilantism was possible.

So when your window slid open, a familiar blue and red leg stepping through, you were filled with relief, and also dread. You knew you had to talk to Peter about all of this. And with the tension building up about it every time you tried to bring it up the past week, you knew it would end in an argument. You and Pete really hadn't had a true fight yet, and you weren't exactly excited to get to that part of your relationship.

"Hey, beautiful," his hair popped almost comically out of the mask as he yanked it off. He made a bee-line to where you were sitting on the bed, a kiss pressed to your forehead just like every other greeting he'd given you. He seemed nervous, knowing he'd messed up, fidgeting his hands where he stood in front of you. "I'm sorry I missed date night. I know we were both excited for it..." You had to physically hold back an it's okay, Pete, because you knew it wasn't. You needed to be an adult, in an adult relationship. Because that's what you were; no matter how much Peter made you feel like two teenagers in love when he was with you.

"Can we talk?" The words alone settled a storm in your stomach. And the change in Peter's expression didn't help.

"Of course," his voice got quiet when he sat next to you. He fought the urge to hold your hand, put his arm around you, just touch you. Even though he needed it himself, and it looked like you did, too, with the way your hands picked at your shirt hem, the ten mile stare directed at your lap.

"I know Spider-Man is important to you, and he's important to me, too, because of that," you began slowly. You felt like your voice was shaking like a scared little dog. "And I will always support that part of your life. But lately I feel like I've seen more of you in that suit on my TV than I have you standing in front of me. And I just... I miss Peter Parker."

"I miss you, too," he gave a half-hearted smile. "I'm sorry... I just-- things have been chaotic lately."

"Are you going to elaborate or am I just supposed to accept that alone as an answer for the millionth time?" You gritted your teeth once the words left your mouth, in a tone far harsher than you meant. But you were frustrated. Something you couldn't hide any longer. "It doesn't hurt any less to not know what's going on when you're gone more than you're here. In fact, it's quite the opposite, actually, Peter."

"I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"You always say that, but safety and my peace of mind don't seem to be very good friends," you sighed. "Lately I just feel like-- like you don't trust me. To take care of myself, to just let me in on what's going on with you. It's always about my safety or you're too busy or whatever you say-- I'm just supposed to accept it. This is a two-way relationship but it feels like there's three of us, and Spider-Man is the one making decisions for the both of us."

"I just-- I don't want you to get--"

"Hurt. I know," you stood from the bed, crossing to the other side of the room. "I'm so tired of you saying that. Like-- like the only thing that would hurt me is a physical threat. You don't want me to get hurt, but every time you ghost me, every time I go a week without seeing you or when I do it's you next to me when I wake up covered in cuts and bruises? What about that? You think that doesn't hurt?" Tears stung your eyes now, ones you were trying desperately to keep in as you went further. "All I feel lately from you is hurt. So good job with that, Spider-Man."

"I don't want you to get involved with that part of me. You can't-- you can't take care of yourself." As soon as the words left his mouth, you both know that's not what he meant. But it didn't lessen the sting.

"Wow," you scoffed. "I'm pretty sure I survived 20 years without you before, Parker, I'm not a fucking child!"

"I never said you were!" He voice had risen above its normal level now, making you flinch. He pulled and tugged at the mask in his hands, clearly frustrated and angry now. "Every time I go out there in this stupid suit, I worry that someone is going to see me, someone will find you and decide that you can give them information on me. That you're just leverage to get what they want. Or I won't be there when you need me. I worry that I can't save you, can't you see that?"

"You don't think I worry about you every time you go out there? And it only gets worse when you come home in pieces that I try to put back together?”

"It's not the same!"

"Yes it fucking is! It's fucking worse! I don't have superpowers, I can't save you, I can't make sure you're safe. Do you know how helpless that feels?"

"You don't understand."

"Then make me!" You broke, tears coming fast and hard down your face. "Just let me in. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make you trust me enough to do that. What am I supposed to do?"

"I can't-- you can't understand."

"Am I not good enough? Smart enough? What's the issue here, Peter?" You laughed humorlessly.

"Maybe you are!" He burst out. You reeled back, not knowing what to say. The tears came even faster than before as you backed away, out of the bedroom, ignoring Peter's apologies and panicked rambling that quickly turned to tears as he followed you to the door. You slammed it shut behind you before he could follow, your feet carrying you outside into a thoughtless path before you even realized it.

An hour or so later, you were still out in the crisp air of New York, settled on a bench blocks away from your apartment in a quiet park. You knew it was probably unsafe, but you didn't care at the moment. The tears had finally subsided, and you were left stewing in guilt and frustration. All you wanted was for Peter to let you in. You knew he was apprehensive, it had taken him over half a year to even tell you he was Spider-Man, but he never really told you much beyond that.

Your phone went off for the thousandth time since you'd stepped foot out of the apartment. It was Peter trying to call you yet again. You had read his texts, without replying, so that he would see the read receipts and at least know you were still alive.

i'm sorry, i didn't mean that at all. i was just frustrated. you're right, i didn't know what to say.

you are the love of my life, please come back and talk to me

i'm really sorry. i don't like fighting with you

i hope you're okay. i love you so much.

You wanted to talk to him, and resolve this, but you didn’t know what to say to him. Not over text, and not when you were sulking in your feelings out in the cold.

You hugged your arms closer to your chest, in an attempt to get warm, when the sky opened up and began to downpour on you. All you could do was sit there as the rain soaked you to your bone, not even a thin jacket to attempt to shelter you from the weather. You just closed your eyes and sighed in defeat when you thought of the walk of shame you'd have to embark on in the rain. So you sat for a little longer.

“I don’t think this is great weather for a walk in the park.” Peter’s voice nearly made you jump out of your skin. When you turned, you were surprised to see him in normal clothes, an umbrella sheltering him from the rain. Thunder sounded overhead, vibrating your already shivering body. You just shrugged, wiping at your face as if he could tell the rain from your angry tears. He came to sit next to you, settling the umbrella between the two of you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. You are anything but a problem in my life, I need you to know that.” His eyes screamed and begged apologies left unsaid, frantically searching yours to try and gauge if you would understand. “I know I need to balance everything more. I need to make time for you and the plans we make. Emergencies do happen, but I should be trying harder.” You murmured a thank you with a small smile, one that made Peter warm to the tips of his toes. He hated not seeing you happy, especially when it was his fault. He reached out to take your hand. “You’re freezing, come here.” You let him pull you into his side, under his jacket that was much drier than the rest of you. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, then one to the top your head, despite your hair still dripping wet from the rain. “I really am trying to keep you safe. I’m just… scared. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Pete. I promise,” you rested your head against his shoulder. “I know that in the worst case, I can’t control that, but genuinely, I mean it. I try to be as safe as possible. But, you know, we live in New York. Even if you weren’t Spider-Man, danger is still out there. It’s just a part of life. And I don’t like thinking about that either, but it’s the truth.” You kissed his jaw and looked up at him. Tears welling in his eyes, you squeezed him tighter to you to let him know you were there. “You can’t keep everything from that part of you locked up inside forever, baby. It won’t end well.”

“I know,” he whispered, almost inaudible over the rain pattering against the pavement and umbrella over your heads. He sucked in a breath and looked down at you. His hand came up to touch your cheek, brushing some drops of rain away from your face. “I’ll be more open, I promise, it’s just...“ He choked on the words a bit before he was able to continue. “It’s hard. The last time I let someone in on that part of Spider-Man…”

“I know.” You murmured. He’d mentioned Gwen a few times, but nothing very in depth aside from a brief explanation of what had happened to her. You knew it was a tough spot for him to talk about, and you didn’t want to push him on that front. “Just… let me in, okay? Even just a little bit. I’m here for you, no matter what. You know I love you, Peter Parker."

“I love you more than anything,” he sighed, almost in relief over everything. Peter leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Your eyes softened as he said it again. The only response you could think of was leaning in for a kiss, pouring all of your feelings into it. Even the uncertainty. But most of all, the love, and the reassurance that everything would be okay.

3 years ago

when can we except the HP piece

Working on it right now bestie! I’m thinking sometime Tuesday afternoon if all goes according to plan

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xoxopeter - xoxo, Peter
xoxo, Peter

Daisy, 27, avid Andrew Garfield lover. Requests open!

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