Mcr Challenge - Day 25 & 26

violent (or not) songs of the day:

voicemail - poppy

swollen - jack off jill

the death song - marilyn manson

pretty on the inside - hole

power - sssick brain

for you - him

rape me - nirvana

one more stitch - green river

love, hate, love - alice in chains

I fucking love those songs!

travelling with argos episode 2: tokyo

you know that the first thing you will do after landing is shopping right?

let's just say Argos would totally indulge and try out new clothing styles and would look completely different everyday

there are soooo many japanese street styles that it's really hard to choose which one to try but for Argos it's like going to a new void and bringing back plants: just do it, try out stuff and experience new things everytime!

you would go to cat café's and overall cute café's like sanrio or hello kitty ones, pusheen and anime/manga ones and so on and so on

he would totally read a lot of mangas

I could see him especially loving the very cute or psycho ones (death note, tokyo ghoul, assassination classroom)

you guys NEED TO GO to a Hatsune Mikuuuuu concert, you just need to

he loves her music so much and thinks she's extremely cuteee

you will probably either stay in a really cute hotel or in a love hotel (don't ask me why, it's about the experience)

you guys will visit lots of sights (obviously) and go to a classic japanese temple (you will even buy kimono's for that occasion)

it's a really calming and interesting experience, you guys just feel so pure and refreshed afterwards and while being there, the world seeming to stop just that you can relax and calm down

okay that was enough calmness, BACK TO MADNESS

he. will. go. out. with. a lot. of. cute. DRESSES, HE LOOKS ADORABLE IN THEM

he will also mess around with his hair: braids, pigtails, half open/half pigtails, small braids in the front, voluminous, curls, long, short, colorful, just EVERYTHING, it's gonna be... a lot

you both are just obsessed with the food there, it's really good and you guys can't get enough of it (you went all out)

he got so many clothes, plushies, sweets, mangas, accessories etc. that you needed to buy a new suitcase just for the shit he bought

he bought some interesting plants but he was scared that they would rot or die on the way back home

Argos will definetly pick up some japanese, he will always wake up and say "おはよう" (ohayō)

actually I don't want to talk about the flight but hey, at some point I need to I guess

so let's just say it was a mess

big mess honeyyy

his adhd/autism just exploded when you guys flew to tokyo but luckily at some point, he fell into a coma (deep sleep)

when he did, you let out the most obnoxious and relieving sigh you've ever mustered to let out

overall you guys loved the trip so much (and went home with a lot of stuff as great memories) <3

chlorine (ville valo x depressed!reader)

warnings: triggering themes, fainting, mentions of anorexia, derealization, hospitalization, smoking, overall heavy dark stuff

growling anticipation. is that the thing that makes me linger at that lean boy in the deep blue of the backyard? i wonder if he ever noticed me like I noticed him. i'm no stalker, don't even think of it, he knows me. he invited me to come over but he probably never thought about me looking at the water droplets pooling down his chest. his dark brown hair sticking to his forehead, almost covering his eyes. i just can't keep my eyes off of it. the muscles moving with each stroke, hitting my line of thought like a lightning. i am such a mess, messy hair covering my face, black eye makeup making me look even more dead, violet blue eyebags glistering through my hair. freckes on uneven sickly pale skin, oversized hoodie covering my ugly body, scars on my left wrist, looking oh so faint. the only one who ever noticed them, only one who asked me about them. black new rocks sitting on my feet like metal tied to dog legs to let them drown. he always stayed in his own mind, gliding so carefree through the liquid madness. he probably has noticed. every normal society creature would've talked about this, pointing the staring out, but he never did. maybe he knew that it was admiration and not obsession. he always was 3 steps ahead of everyone else. eyes feeling tired, head spinning like a screw, body falling limp, falling onto the ground. vision turning black, mind falling down like a chandelier on a piano, hands on focus like in a hollywood movie, last thing able to recognize is skin. pale skin, lean muscles stretching out with every move. touch. his skin. chlorine in the air as this lovely disgusting stench that it is. water dripping down from his wet locks like lean out of a sprite bottle. ears stuffed, every sound seeming so blunt. and again. skin. the skin of a vampire. touching me ever so slightly, lifting me off the ground. everything else blurry. nothing. mind fades black

......what is that?.......

.....epiphany....

....is that....

....the end?.......

I come back to my senses, laying on something soft. opening my eyes slowly, getting used to the blunt light passing the curtains, realising I'm laying in a bed, soft pillows under my head. I turn my head a bit and see him. eyes closed, hair mostly dry and shirtless. I just lay there, my system still starting. how can someone look so peaceful but still so done and tired like he just ran a marathon or was done with life. he slept looking into my direction like he would try to keep an eye on me if something were to happen. oh yeah. something happened. my brain started to process what happened in detail, stopping after being picked up from the ground. but...there was something else...something... good. I remember a voice saying "please, wake up, oh shit, how could this happen", being layed down on the bed and... being pecked. on the lips. even though it was just a short touch, I still remember the feeling of the pink-red lips I wanted to feel for so long now, still slighty wet. was that what my brain processed as this amazing moment or as the "epiphany"? I must be imagining that just because my heart pulls the strings. flutter. flutter. the color of venom stinging my eyes. he reveals his eyes, the glowy green piercing through. my brain finally started to work and...oh shit, did he realise that I was staring at his resting corpse, but the only thing I saw in his orbs was... relieve. his arms circleling around my body like snakes, taking me into a careful hug. "I'm so glad you're awake, how are you feeling?" he asked gently, caressing my hair. "I don't know, my head hurts a bit and I'm a little dizzy but other than that I feel fine." he looked into my eyes, faces not far away from each other. he puts one hand on my face, the metal of his rings cold against my sick appearance. "do you remember...anything?" he asked with a hopeful glim in his eyes. "well, I only remember collapsing and you picking me up. the rest is just a blurry mess in my head but I still remember feeling an "epiphany" of some sort. his eyes look somewhat shocked but also...sensual? like a sensual loving look. "do you know what this epiphany felt like?" "it felt somewhat soft but also slightly wet I think. it was a tingling sensation on...my...ehh...lips." "okay interesting", he leaned in more, lips mere inches apart. "did it feel something like this?" he closed the gap and there it was. skin, his touch, vampire skin against dead skin. my hands found there way into his hair. he held me closer and it felt like the minutes of staring at him while he was gliding in the liquid element. so gracefully, so elegant, so...beautiful. the tingle stayed, even after seperating, faces still close together. "yes, but there is also another things that I remember. I think it was the stench of chlorine?" "it wasn't chlorine, it was the stench of cigarettes. I think your mind just tried making something logical for your line of thought but it only was of cigarettes. when I investigated you, you must have caught the smell in your nose." chlorine...chlorine......

..........."can you hear me? oh god, please say something, give me a sign that you're okay."

......where does that voice come from?...........

.....light.....

white light...

white light...

white light.........

.........eyes, light...

ears, voices and beeping...

touch...

touch...

where is the touch.........

my eyes opened to white light blinding me, muffed voices talking like crazy. I turned my head slightly to see I was laying in a bed...in a hospital bed.was this all just in my head? there is no chance this wasn't real, no there is no way! this can't be fake! I felt it, I know it! or...was it? I could cry just thinking about it. I looked around the room when my eyes arranged to the burning lights. the curtains were open, the city dark with the lights of buildings, stores and enterprises shining like a shooting star, giving me a feeling of bliss and safety. there was also an armchair and something or rather someone was sitting in it...him, it's him, sleeping lazily in the armchair, hair a complete mess and makeup completely smudged. he brought me here. he really did. I tried sitting up, gathering all my strength, seeing injected needles with IV. I carefully took them out, knowing this was probably not allowed at all. I stood up from the bed, going into the direction of the armchair. sitting down on the floor, putting a piece of hair behind his ear to see his face a bit better. he looks so tired, so done with everything. oh darling, how it hurts to see him so exhausted. I got carried away and started playing with his hair, looking at his quiet appearance. then suddenly, he started to move a bit, slowly opening his eyes. letting out a yawn before looking at me, a little smile creeping onto his face. he sat up and held his arms out. me getting the sign, sat down onto his lap, hugging him. he crawls his hands around my whole body up to my head, pulling me into his neck like this would be the last hug in our life. he kept me in his arms for quite a while till he pulled away and looked me in my eyes. I wanted to get my mind in order so in case of being able to do that, I asked him. "what happened? I'm so confused, in one minute I'm in your backyard the next in the hospital." "well you collapsed in the backyard. I hurried to you to see what's going on. you didn't wake up but you still had a good pulse so I just thought maybe you need some rest so I took you upstairs into my bedroom. I accidentally fell asleep as well. you woke up and seemed fine but sometime later, still laying in bed, you fell out of consciousness again so I decided to bring you to the hospital just to be safe." so the things I thought were a dream were actually real. everything was real. "I called one of my friends to pick us up. the doctor already checked on you and said it was mere exhaustion and missing vitamins making you feel weaker. I'll keep an eye on you to be sure that you eat enough and take your vitamins." "thank you" "no problem, I'll always help you out, I'm here for you. come on, lets go home." I nodded and embraced him again. "you can put your arm around my shoulder if it helps you from loosing your balance." I did as he requested, feeling his arm around my waist for more stability. we went to a black car and got inside. the driver - his friend - already knowing what happened, drove us the way home. mind tripping like on acid, feeling dazed in a haze of dizzy vision, leaning onto his shoulder. before anything got processed by my brain, I already drifted off to the world of falling but not dying - at least not always. .........................................................

I felt myself drifting back into consciousness, head heavy like a bowling ball. laying softly on pillows, covered with a blanket. soft and dense breaths next to me, living in imagination and the art of surrealism. and again I can catch myself admiring him. It seems that we slept the whole night through cause the sun is already up...or it's just 5am I don't fucking know. at least I know how to get better and that I'm in a safe environment right now. little curls of dark brown in his face covering his eyes a bit. blank, sleek face, the natural beauty striking through. again, shirless, his tattoo on his abdomen a little visible. I caught myself doubting that this was real again, you can never know but I do have the feeling that everything is just a creation of my consciousness. but in the end, even if it is, for one it's a nice dream. Doing something rude was already in my veins, shaking him a bit till he stirred. "what is it, is everything okay?" he asked quite worried but also kinda too sleepy to care at the same time. "I'm scared that I'm just dreaming this whole stuff, maybe a case of derealization. what exactly happened? in chronical order please." and then again, I heard the same story, almost falling asleep from it or was it just his soothing voice? at least I know that for once I'm really laying in a soft bed, cuddled up with him under blankets. warmth.

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a/n: this is my first ff on tumblr and I still need to figure shit out, hoped you liked it :). and sorry if there are some typos :,).

happy birthday kurt!

it's crazy that he would've been 57 today, rest in peace

(also today I'm wearing Kurt's wedding outfit a.k.a. a pj cause I'm sick :( )

thanks to him, we now can live in a "tender age in bloom" and can scream like little kids cause they want "grandma to take them home"

mr plant and argos on kill mas (xmas)

mr plant:

if you hate christmas:

you both hate this shit

it's all tRaDiTiOn, kitsch and cliché

you only care about argos's presents and actually love the present part

you guys are literal kids

doing everything anti christmas (not red, green, gold, instead blue, black, white, and silver)

you play metal and do weird poses to it or just headbang (mr plant sometimes just stands there and smiles)

slipknot, korn and some moany deftones are your shit

also some muse and nirvana

you are total rebels and punks (burning fown christmas trees, ripping apart shit, breaking decoration etc.)

if you love christmas:

you'll have a hard time with him but argos will definetly help

buys meaningful presents

bakes and bakes and BAKES AHHHHH (insert corey taylor scream)

argos:

if you hate christmas:

he'll awkwardly slurp his barszcz (polish/ukranian red beet soup)

will try to cheer you up to love christmas

doesn't really work though

is in shock when you spill red wine on purpose, eventually catches up though, total madness

you getting madder, and madder AND MADDER

will wrap a soft blanket around you and cuddles with you while watching some random german christmas movie junk (cause they're the only ones that are actually good)

if you love christmas:

baking, cooking and slurping together

annoying mr plant with your junk and mass of decoration

it's a mess honeyyy

there will be flour (and blood) all around the place (it's a reference to a german christmas song or rather a parody of it)

you can see which side I'm on

mcr challenge - day 11

walking down the aisle: Helena

afterparty: F.T.W.W.W., Party Poison, Teenagers

it would be really helpful to know so that I can improve my music and my style and also get feedback from you and your taste :D

my SoundCloud account

monster high playlists #1

I live after the cbf rule:

coffee, beer (usually alc free though) and fluoxetine

2 demos out now :D

posted first raw demos on SoundCloud!! check em out

https://on.soundcloud.com/vnXMU