Serious Weakness Trianon

flower

I like to believe taking a hot water shower with fresh cuts is the equivalent of self h*arming a second time because it’s deadly

when mitski wrote “and I was so young when I behaved twenty five, yet now I find I've grown into a tall child” she was actually talking about me

In a sick way, I like being this way. I take pride in how fucked up my mind is and how much I hurt myself, whether it be from a blade or indirect self-sabotage.

Here is my contribution for the Billford zine Until the End of Time! Please follow the link to see the rest of my fellow shippers’ wonderful creative efforts, or click the readmore to see my embarrassing thoughts on it

The paranoid Ford era is probably one of my favorite parts of him and Bill's story arc, and I wanted to do a piece for the zine set during that period of their lives which managed to capture both the the iconic parts of Ford's very bad time and a sense of beauty, adventure, and romance. While this is kind of contradictory on its face, to me the Bill/Ford relationship is all about that interplay between shiny optimistic ambition and having your head slammed into a wall for hours, between epic revenge narratives and goofy cartoon pratfalls, between the vacant shell of your old life and the bright rainbow bridge whisking you away to your new one. Bill possessing Ford in this piece also plays into that duality - there are literally two Fords here, the one that’s terrified of what he’s losing and the one who's thrilled despite it all. I don’t know, I just think there's just something fascinating and a bit seductive about all of it. 

American Beauty

Angela Hayes