You, A Human, Can Also Do This! It’s Surprisingly Comfortable. Try It At Your Local Treebranch Today!

I just thought to myself ‘wait are capacitors used to hold charge in devices’ then thought ‘no that’s stupid the charge would run out near instantly’ then thought ‘but wait the time constant might be really really big’ then thought ‘no because then it would take ages to charge’ but THEN thought ‘WAIT BUT YOU COULD HAVE ONE CAPACITOR THAT QUICKLY CHARGES AND THEN ONCE THE CHARGER IS DISCONNECTED IT DISCHARGES INTO CAPACITORS WITH REALLY LONG TIME CONSTANTS SO THEY RELEASE THE CHARGE OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME???’ But no just use a rechargeable battery

Why don't you take Spiro anymore? (You mentioned this in a recent post)

My T is sufficiently suppressed without it. Estrogen and Testosterone inhibit each other through indirect pathways- both signal the hypothalamus and pituitary, which in turn signal the testes/ovaries to produce more or less of their hormone. Unfortunately, T is a more potent suppressor of E than vice versa, so a blocker is needed to drop T levels at first (usually), which then lets E get high. Once E is high enough, then it can suppress T production on its own. For me specifically, I've never had a problem suppressing T, especially later into HRT when my E was getting somewhat higher. Even after quitting spiro, my T has never gotten above 20 ng/dL, and is mostly around 15 ng/dL, which is on the low side of normal even for cis women. AA in general are theoretically unnecessary once E is high enough to suppress T on their own, but this varies strongly dependent on the individual hormone metabolism from person to person. Fun fact, this is also why masculinizing hormone therapy is way simpler than feminizing hormone therapy- T is potent enough to inhibit E right off the bat without extra help.

Personal consideration to add here: I'm quickly learning that I'm a rapid metabolizer, along with about 20-30% of the human population. Essentially this means that most medication has shorter effect periods on me, and I believe it also has had an effect on how effectively my T got suppressed. My T levels were low almost immediately when I started HRT, and I started with spiro. But, the price I had to pay is that its taken forever for my E to go up. With that in mind, I realized that for me specifically, I didn't have to worry about my T going back up if my E wasn't high enough yet.

The above are about why I felt spiro was unnecessary, but why not take it just in case? Simple- side effects. I was having very noticeable diuretic side effects to the point where it interfered with my usual routines, so I tried to quit as soon as I could. Once I quit, a brain fog that I didn't even notice was there, lifted. I was having a lot of issues that I now realize were due to low sodium- my energetics were fucked, my vision was getting hazy when I stood up, and my heart pounded in situations it didn't need to. When I quit spiro, these stopped almost immediately, and I realized that these were side effects that I hadn't even registered as side effects.

These were considerations I made based on my own personal situation, but hopefully it helps. I haven't been on an AA since February or so. I actually just got a levels test back (spreadsheet update pending) and it confirms that my T has been within cis female ranges since early October, and on the low side of cis female ranges since early November.

In my personal opinion, AAs should be used more conservatively than it currently is, but are still necessary for HRT. My ideal HRT based on papers I've seen, personal experience, and conversations with my provider is essentially: brief period of E monotherapy-> E+AA until T is suppressed and E levels are high -> E monotherapy -> additional considerations (like prog). This is not coming from a medical perspective, though, just an anecdotal one.

3 am which is both day and night and simultaneously neither

Night

Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.

I neeeeed people to stop conflating femme with “gender-conforming lesbian.” Both butch and femme are inherently gender nonconforming because they’re based in redefining masculinity and femininity in ways that don’t involve men. That’s like half the definition. Some of us have all of our body hair. Some of us have short hair. Some of us don’t wear a lot of makeup, or any at all. Some of us feel more comfortable in a suit than a dress. Some of us are loud, angry, and protective. Some of us aren’t women. Femmes are not a monolith of soft and delicate cis girls and I really need to see more recognition of that on this site before I go insane.

I wrote a poem about my first love about a month into our relationship. Today they broke up with me. Here is that poem:

Light Rays

Light rays filtering in all the way from the sun.

Sometimes after a detour to the moon

Filtering in through leaves or bouncing off the snow or ricocheting off someone‘s iris into my pupil.

So much light entering my soul.

So much distance that ray has traveled

All so that my soul can become enthralled with another’s.

When I look someone in the eyes I feel their soul capturing mine; overwhelming me with awe

I bathe in the depths of another’s pupils. Become absorbed by the ever-expanding darkness. Let everything else fade. The darkness strengthened by the photon ring surrounding their pupils;

flecks of light which absorb and reflect rays, surrounding and contrasting the center.

I know I shouldn’t stare into the sun, for I might go blind from the magnitude of pure white light

But when I peer into the darkest depths of another all other senses fade away, consumed by my captivation.

I often look just shy of someone’s gaze;

Their nose, their eyelid.

Otherwise, I’d always be getting lost exploring the souls of others.

If I truly look you in the eye you’ll watch as I get absorbed by you.

If I look you in the eye it means I want to feel totally embraced by you.

If I look you in the eye, it might even mean I love you.

Otherwise, I hope hanging by the hawking radiation, just out of reach of being absorbed, will suffice.

Two lesbians made eye contact in a bar, and then they keep making eye contact, and then they keep making eye contact, and then the bartender said last call

Edward Lutczyn (1975)