I Miss The Beach So Much

disabled consistency prt. 2 prt. 1 here (u dont need to read it to understand this post)

what happens to consistency, to habits, when you have a dynamic disability?

i want us to understand the differences between having a consistent body and having an ever changing one. sometimes you could be so healthy you are working/studying, exercising a few times a week, socialising, and independently caring for yourself. but other times.. you’re bedbound? can’t even shower and brush your teeth twice a day? can’t keep up with texting your friends or social media? what habit is surviving that.

you work so hard to build habits and follow routines you and your doctors have set, and then you achieve it, but then it all gets taken away in a flare-up. you wonder what the point is. its a constant vicious cycle. even abled people know its hard to build habits. it takes time. and you might not have that time.

for abled people, theres no time limit on building a habit. they might have a goal in mind of when they want to achieve it, but theres no actual clock ticking in the background.

for me, and for other dynamically disabled people, we are on a time crunch. you may not be aware of it, but you are. it’s always a race to get things done while you can, build those habits and routines and get consistent and get your life together while you can. because even if you’re not thinking it, you are living on a countdown until your next flare-up. until the next crash, the next time you lose all your progress.

and that cycle, is exhausting. it’s like building a sandcastle right on the shore. you build it and you get to revel in it for a second. then it’s gone. there may be a little bump in the sand where your hard work had just stood, but essentially, you are starting from scratch. while the abled people are up the beach a few metres and their sand is perfectly wet and perfectly dry and the waves never reach it.

then those same people, tell you to just keep building. “eventually you’ll get there!” “keep trying!” “habits take time!” they say. but how? there will always be another wave.

understanding this difference in experience is so important if you want to understand why you can’t just tell a disabled person to form habits or be consistent and expect results.

THIS THANK YOU.

I don't want to ask AI a question. I don't want AI to write my sentences for me, at all ever. I don't want AI search bars to be the default and I don't want them to be in such a way that I can't opt out. I don't want this kind of AI in my life and there is no such thing as AI art, there is only theft of art from human artists by AI scrapers. I don't want any of this, I hate it. Maybe in a world that isn't driven by tech bro capitalism we can see machines doing all the dangerous inane things so humans can be free to pursue life and creativity. But that's not what's happening right now and I hate it.

you guys made luigi mangione trend for days and I need to see the same energy for brianna boston. she is a 43 year old mother of three who ended a phone call with blue cross blue shield (after being denied a claim) “delay deny depose, you people are next” and is now being held under a 100,000$ bond and could face FIFTEEN years of prison if charged. she has no weapons, her record is clean, and yet she is being held behind bars. they are afraid of the public and are trying to subdue. do not let them!!!! be outraged that our freedom of speech is being threatened!!!!! deny defend depose! free brianna boston!

really struggling with this atm.

ive lost all the strength i fought so hard for the past two years. it doesnt seem fair that it can all be taken away so fast.

im exhausted. trying is exhausting.

disabled consistency prt. 2 prt. 1 here (u dont need to read it to understand this post)

what happens to consistency, to habits, when you have a dynamic disability?

i want us to understand the differences between having a consistent body and having an ever changing one. sometimes you could be so healthy you are working/studying, exercising a few times a week, socialising, and independently caring for yourself. but other times.. you’re bedbound? can’t even shower and brush your teeth twice a day? can’t keep up with texting your friends or social media? what habit is surviving that.

you work so hard to build habits and follow routines you and your doctors have set, and then you achieve it, but then it all gets taken away in a flare-up. you wonder what the point is. its a constant vicious cycle. even abled people know its hard to build habits. it takes time. and you might not have that time.

for abled people, theres no time limit on building a habit. they might have a goal in mind of when they want to achieve it, but theres no actual clock ticking in the background.

for me, and for other dynamically disabled people, we are on a time crunch. you may not be aware of it, but you are. it’s always a race to get things done while you can, build those habits and routines and get consistent and get your life together while you can. because even if you’re not thinking it, you are living on a countdown until your next flare-up. until the next crash, the next time you lose all your progress.

and that cycle, is exhausting. it’s like building a sandcastle right on the shore. you build it and you get to revel in it for a second. then it’s gone. there may be a little bump in the sand where your hard work had just stood, but essentially, you are starting from scratch. while the abled people are up the beach a few metres and their sand is perfectly wet and perfectly dry and the waves never reach it.

then those same people, tell you to just keep building. “eventually you’ll get there!” “keep trying!” “habits take time!” they say. but how? there will always be another wave.

understanding this difference in experience is so important if you want to understand why you can’t just tell a disabled person to form habits or be consistent and expect results.

people dont understand the boredom of being disabled.

i see a lot of people suggest to people to embrace boredom and creativity will come from it. that to improve your attention span and get your life back from the trap that is quick form media you need to be bored more.

but i dont think that is the case for many disabled people.

its not the case for me.

i am SO bored. EVERY day. i cannot do all the things i want to engage in. i cannot play games i cannot read i cannot do art i cannot bake. these things arent being stopped by a social media addiction, they are being stopped by my health.

and my attention span isnt struggling for the same reasons as many abled people. mine struggles because of my symptoms. my fatigue, my pain, they are distracting and fog my brain.

so disabled people, when youre looking for tips about how to improve your attention span, and engage in your hobbies more, keep in mind that the reason for your struggles may be completely different to the people who are sharing suggestions and tips on the topic.

its truely depressing to think about. nobody should be mistreated and to know and think that its happening constantly feels so hopeless.

it hurts hearing other disabled people talk about medical mistreatment.

like i am partly grateful to not be alone of course, but i really wish it wasnt a common or even standard occurrence.

breaks my heart.

Autism Speaks Canada is "concluding its operations" on January 31st 2025!

i have so much art i need to get out of my brain its all stuck in there while i cant do any 😭😭😭😭😭

this is a controversial opinion and I’m not a gamer but I don’t need my graphics to be that good. I don’t need to see every individual feather on a bird. my poor computer doesn’t deserve to carry that weight either.