Fuck That Guy - Blog Posts

Aiden Pearce is INSANE.

Every fucking time I get stuck the answer is always -

“Oh you’re supposed to drive a car off a roof.”

“Oh you’re supposed to drive a car ON to a roof. With a fucking cinderblock. And a crane.

“Oh actually you see that caved in roof? Use it as a ramp. To drive onto a RAISED SUBWAY PLATFORM.”

The answer. Every. Fucking. Time.

IM TELLING YOU GUYS

Underworld Office and Charlie in Underworld ARE GOOD FUCKING GAMES

I LOVE THEM

THE FANDOM NEEDS TO BE BIGGER

THESE GAMES NEED MORE RECOGNITION!!!

I randomly stumbled upon this while surfing through playstore and went in blindly and......so. many. emotions. ran. through. me.

I.....I love underworld office/charlie in underworld. I need a hug. Eugene needs a hug. Charlie needs a hug. Everyone needs a hug. How the fuck is this a free mobile game. Why is this game so underrated.

so what you’re saying is we finally have a female president

So a lot of Trump supporters want to change the constitution to allow him to run for a third term. How they advertised this idea?

Fanart of Trumps face on Julius Caesars head.

Oh and look what is coming up soon, what a coincidence :)

Thats so weird and odd and Do You Know What Would Be Really Funny?

this Or get Annish Kapoor’s ass for me. fuck that guy

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

For My Father

For you, my Father, if you came back, I would leave something cooking on the stove. I’d let the smell fill the house so it’d be like you were here, making dinner while I watched cartoons. I would take the sweaty, stinky, athletic clothes you used to wear running and leave them in annoying places so Mom would lecture you the way she always did. It would be like you never left. We would still be a family. 

When you come home, I would buy the things you liked to eat. I’d put things on our table for you, like the odd-smelling ‘’healthy’’ foods, the gluten free bread that always tasted like sand, and the fig newtons that always made me think of you. I would hear the sound of you opening the door again. Coming home from work, you always greeted us with a smile, even though sometimes, even as a child, I could tell it wasn't real.

I’d leave your blue and green, size thirteen running shoes by the door for you. You could put them on and go for a run around the neighborhood like you used to. Then you’d come back home and spend the evening with us. We would sit and talk, just to be father and son again. I’d set aside everything you ever did if it meant I could get closure one last time. You’d tell me and mom that you always loved us, and all the bad things never mattered. I’d look at your crow’s feet, and see my own eyes staring back at me. I’d see myself in you, an older version of me, but still one in the same. Those same brown eyes.

When you died, I was young enough that I still called you Daddy. Now the memories are distant like you were and I call you ‘my Father’, but if you came back, I’d call you Dad, for old times sake. I’d let you hug me, and we could pretend we were a perfect, happy family. God knows we were far from it, but nobody ever died trying (except maybe you.) 

I’ll tell you who I am now, what my life is like. I hope you’ll say you were proud of me. If you don’t, that’s okay. I’ve managed this long without you. I think I can manage the rest of my life. I’m resilient. I get that from you. So, when the day is done, you’ll go back into the ground you came from, and I’ll be okay. After all, I’m still your son, no matter how much I wish I wasn’t some of these days. Just know that you can rest now. It will all be okay. Goodnight, Dad.

I think riko dying was such a grand and great metaphorical way to end the series because

"all for the game"

Kevin implies that his and Rikos titles are related to chess

In chess, the game cannot end until the king is killed.

And that's exactly how the books end.

My therapist and I decided that from now on, when I’m thinking something negative about myself, I’m going to imagine that Donald Trump is saying it, because it’s really easy for me to just tell him to fuck off.

Example:

Trump: “Your thighs are fat.” Me: “Fuck you and your fucking wall.”

I think we’re onto something here.

Lights Part 1

There was nothing quite like going for a random walk. The urge hadn’t hit you for a very long time- so long in fact a small tremor of fear shot through you. It couldn’t be him. He’d been destroyed with the creation of the new worlds and the new timeline. Simply put, there wasn’t a way for him to reach through the ever calling void to pluck your strings. But for a moment you were reminded of your time on Alternia. You’d traversed that planet in a mind controlled haze and it was an experience that left you shaken. One you never wished to experience again. So when the urge to get up and go somewhere hit you it had taken you an embarrassingly long time to calm your racing heart. It was an ordinary urge, one that didn’t mean you were back under his control. Still, you were anxious as you stepped out of your front door. Your little corner of the world wasn’t all that exciting. A welcome reprieve from the constant action Alternia had given you. As it was, the neighborhood was as calm as any other day. Afternoon sunlight filtered over the houses and across the sidewalks giving everything a warm feeling. There was no reason for your anxiety. Even so, you took careful steps. You weren’t interested in making friends this time around. Just going for a simple walk. Your coat kept the autumn chill off and you were happy about your sturdy boots. Both had cost you pretty penny but the price had been well worth the quality. It also helped that they looked damn good on you. 

It took less time than you remembered to reach downtown. Everything a steady stream of people and activity. People were no doubt doing last minute shopping. You wandered down the streets with no particular destination in mind. There was a little hole in the wall coffee shop not too far away that you liked to frequent. They had some of the best drinks and their prices didn’t leave your wallet openly weeping. Then there was the bakery not too far away that had the best donuts you’d ever had. Among all the shops there was plenty to choose from that you’d enjoy. You decided to go to the coffee shop first. The darker lighting and overstuffed armchairs hidden in the corners were exactly what would set your mind at ease. They had no bell to alert them to customers- music soft but unmistakable floated through the air. That wonderful coffee smell permeated the building and it took little time for the barista to get your drink made and hand it to you. Dropping a tip into the tip jar you took your drink and sat in the furthest arm chair you could find from the door and the drink station. As far as anyone was concerned you were simply part of the backdrop. Pulling out your phone you scroll through the latest news feeds and try not to lose your will to live. Things will always keep happening and quite frankly you aren’t sure how much you can take anymore. Or rather, what was that popular quote? Something about drawing a line somewhere and looking deep inside of yourself for what you’re willing to put up with today. Either way it isn’t this shit. 

You’re so engrossed in the latest bullshit your country is spouting you almost don’t notice the new occupant of the coffee shop. Almost. Too many years being on a hair-trigger of flight or fight have engrained a deep sense of your surroundings. Even if they hadn’t you’d recognize this particular customer anywhere. Her hat is pulled low over her face and her steps purposely soundless. You both know that the barista and the other customers haven’t noticed her. There is only the steady swish of her coat as she walks and even that is drowned out by the music. You look down at your phone and watch her out of your peripherals. She takes a seat across from you as silent as a phantom which is just the way she likes it. You both know that you’ve seen each other. She makes no move to talk and neither do you. If she sought you out then that means there’s a problem. None of your other friends had reached out to you and while you hadn’t attempted to hide you made no move to reach out first. It would be a long time before you felt secure enough to reach out first in your friendships again. 

“He’s gone.” She says barely a whisper. You bob your head in a nod. Its a statement not a question. “I’ve managed to keep tabs on all of our mutual acquaintances.” 

“I expected nothing less from you.” 

“Adalov has been cyberstalking you.” That makes you glance up. There’s the barest hint of an amused smile on her lips. You raise a brow for her to continue. You weren’t completely unaware but if Boldir is bringing it up then its more significant than you gave credit for. 

“He’s been methodically going through every scrap of information about you he can get his claws on.” She pauses to take your drink from you and take a sip, you let her because despite everything you still consider her a friend. You’re pretty sure she knows this too. “He started out doing so of his own volition, however, I believe an acquaintance of yours- Dirk Strider- is also cyberstalking you. Adalov has taken note of that and started stalking him as well-,”

“Which in turn means Dirk is stalking him.” That almost makes you laugh, the two of them stalking each other to see what the other is up to is just the type of Spy vs Spy bullshit that only leads to further shenanigans. Even Boldir has a look that says she thinks its equally as amusing. The two of you sit in a momentary silence. A comforting thing you’d almost forgot to miss. Now it settles around you like a warm blanket. Taking your drink back from Boldir you take a sip. 

“I have a feeling Adalov and Strider will try and contact you at some point soon. I thought...” She hesitates for a moment- eyes darting, “I thought I should warn you so that you aren’t caught by surprise. I know the control he had over you has made you wary.”

“Boldir... I may not have reached out but that doesn’t mean I’ve missed you any less. I can’t bring myself to be the first to reach out. Not after... Everything that happened on Alternia. But I’d never turn away a friend.” You reached across the little table to hold her hand. Her claws dig into your skin with how hard she grips it back and you watch the way she relaxes. It’s almost enough to break your heart. 

“Would you like to go on a walk with me?” She asks, voice uncharacteristically fragile. You smile as you stand up with your drink. 

“I’d love to.”