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Last request, and pls dont feel obligated to do all of these i just like spamming ya: Medic listening to scout ramble while medic is performing surgery on him?
[It's alr! I love writing stories for you! I'm always interested in your ideas and requests so ask away!💀✨️]
Not so fast surgery
◇ TF2 Medic and Scout [platonic]
◇ mentions of gore and blood
Scout walked down the hall, heading straight for the Medic's lab. Today was the day that every mercenary passed their check ups. Sure enough, Scout sat down on the table when Medic entered.
"Ah! Zhere you are! You seem to be ready"
"Ya bet doc! I assure you, this will be quick"
"Yes yes, you said it last time"
"Hey! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know that i had metal pipe as my hip instead of a bone!"
"Ja ja. I'm sureeee you didn't. Just sit still for me please"
When Medic started examining him, Scout obviously didn't listen. He kicked his legs, moved left and right, turned around and was easily distracted by everything. Later, Scout lay flat on the table and talked as Medic gently pressed on his chest.
" ...-and this i when I told himm, 'nu-uh I won't do that' and he's like 'whaaaa' and I- ow!!"
Medic, noticing Scout's reaction, pressed the same spot again.
"Hey! Watch it doc! It hurts!"
"It does?" Medic asked. "Well this isn't suppose to hurt"
Medic put his medigun over Scout.
"You know the drill. It won't hurt that much"
"Ah come on doc- I'm fine, really!" Scout stood up. "See I'm fine-"
At that moment, the Medic pushed him in that place and placed him on the operating table again.
"OW! Owww!"
"Scout don't play games with me. Stay down, or I will knock you out."
"Fineeeeee. Do your worst Doc."
Medic took a bone saw and stabbed Scout in the chest, cutting him open. Scout screamed in pain, but quickly stopped and lay down while Medgun healed him. They stayed quiet for a while before Scout broke the silence.
"So. You wanna hear a funny story of how i died and all?" Scout asked.
"Yea sure. I'd like to know what did you saw on the other side" Medic replied.
"Yeaaa. That wasn't creepy at alllll. Anyway, so you remember when we were attacked by the robots? One of them got lucky shoot in my side and I was dying. Like ughhhh i felt weak and all. This is when naked Sniper and Spy walked in. Spy was speechless for a moment, he probably couldn't believe I took out so many robots by myself and I bet he was 100% jealous. Anyway, I remember he was saying something but eh, i forgot what it was. And then! This is when something unexpected happened. Tom Jones himself showed up and he confirmed he is MY FATHER! Can you believe that?!"
"No, not really" Medic replied.
"But it's true! And he said he's proud of me and all! Amazing, so cool. After this everything went dark and I woke up in bright cloudy heaven! Soo cool!"
"At least you're going up" Medic mumbled.
"What?"
"Uh, nothing. You were saying that it was cloudy?"
"Oh yea! Full of clouds! I meet the big guy up there and he said I was a gift to the women! Ha! I knew it! So anyway I think they were doing some popcorn because I heard a crunch or something, later I don't remember, but I heard him saying a date or something- I don't know. But anyway, this is when I woke up and Spy was sooo pissed while Sniper smiled. But the best part is what I'm about to tell you, because.... it's... heartbreaking to me"
Scout took a deep breath, and Medic rased his eyebrow.
"Oh reallyyy? Vell go on zhen"
"So after we came back an all, I went to Tuefort where there was a free trip to Tom Jones house! When I saw this I was like 'F#CK YEA I'M COMIN'!'. It took a while but I finally got there, and this is when I found out that Tom Jones...was....dead..."
"Oh. That must have been quite a- shock"
"A big one, because I realized that since he was dead...and while I was dying....and there was only Sniper and Spy ...that means..."
"You finally found out? Vell that's good! I found out after I took the blood sample and tested it, this is when I found out that your father is-"
"Tome Jones showed up to me not in person, but as a ghost!" Scout replied with big smile on his face"
"I- was?-"
"It makes sense now! Since Spy and Sniper were together that means when Tom was dead, he came to me to confront me before he disappeared!"
"Oh yes yes, your father disappears a LOT" Medic joked while Scout was still rambling about it.
Soon Medic caught something that was causing Scout so much pain, he took it out and it was-
"Coo"
"Archimedes?" Medic said while holding his dove, covered in blood.
"What the- I had a bird in my chest?! Again?!"
"It looks like it. Archimedes. What did I told you. You can't do that."
"Coo coo" Archimedes replied.
"Do not sure such faul language on me! That's it, you're going to stay in your cage till the end of the procedure"
Medic put Archimedes in cage which was made out of metal and was shaped like a real rib cage.
"Brids" he shruged his shoulders and help Socut with his wound.
"It will take some time to, you can continue making noise. I won't mind anyway. While you talk, it makes me believe that you are alive "
Scout happly shook his head.
"Alright, I don't want to tell ya another longggg boring sotry so let's make this more fun! Alright so patient said to Doctor: I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
And Doctor replied: Next time, take off the candles."
Scout giggled at his joke. Medic smirked and continued to heal his patient.
"Or this or this! Why did the doctor laugh at the X-ray? Because it was humerus." Scout laughed even harder, meanwhile Medic chuckled on his joke.
"I also have a joke. You go to a doctor for a complete checkup. You haven't been feeling well and you want to find out if you are ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
'I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time' the doctor says."
"Oh. Uhhh- How long have I got" Scout asks.
“10…” Medic started.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
“10..…9..…...8.....…7…....6...."
Scout widen his eyes as he stood up.
Medic started to laugh as hard as it was possible after seeing Scout's frightened face.
"Woo hohoho! You should have seen your face!"
"'Haha. Funny.... Whatever"
"Oh don't be like that. At least your chest is healed. Next time watch out for Archimedes, he is still stubborn to get inside your chest, again. No matter how."
"Uhhh, alright. Thanks doc!"
Scout walked out of the office, while Medic was cleaning his hands off of blood. It went surprisingly good, Medic had fun with Scout and he promised to himself that next time he'll tell him more doctor/patient jokes.
[Hope ya enjoyed it! Thank you for amazing ideas mein freund! Have a nice day/night!]
Hey guys I'm gonna start posting ask stuff here! I'm still going to post my regular stuff but will mix in my ask post too I hope you guys like it :> you can just click the ask button and shoot me a question I would really appreciate it!
DA- SPYYYYYY I GOT A BOYFRIEND!!!! HECK YAHHHH
I would love to be able to call you a slur.
(THAT I CAN INDEED RECLAIM.)
thoughts on ur team’s Demoman?
Tho he’s drunk most of the time and has no sense of boundaries what so ever,, I have a small soft spot for him. He can be very sweet at times, comforting too.
He also has a fat ass. 10/10
yer kewl
Why thank you.
New offer…2 GRAPES..with..and this item is extremely rare…a canned croissant?
OH MON GOSH OUI HAND IT OVER NOW
This doesn’t taste like rosemary.. Mon stomach hurts what did you give me?
Could you help me find some Rose Mary? My Medic didn’t have any, I need it for my tea.
Quick! Drink it while it’s hot!!!!
Would you like…and this is a one time offer…a SINGLE…grape?
If I don’t get two grapes I don’t want any.
heyhey spy!! out of pure curiosity, are you on good terms with scout's mom? if so, how's she doing? and could you tell her i said hi?
I haven’t talked to her since Jeremy’s birthday, last time we talked was just a simple hello.
wait, if you can speak six languages without a notable accent (assuming English is one of them) do you make your French accent notable on purpose?
That’s a good question, I am able to do mimics of different accents but French is the heaviest one. Not only because it is my native language but because of how you must pronounce certain words.
Uh, well, anyways. Brought some creamy salmon soup for you! - Chef Anon
I’m sorry but I do not like soup, but merci for the food :) dell might eat it!
how many languages do you speak and how many of them can you speak without a noticeable accent
6
…and 6.
Spy I'm doing french exam preparation rn I am going through it
You’re going to fail.
(I hope you do really well, please try your best ok?)
Tu est vraiment beau/belle, mon ami(e)!
Merci Mon Ami! ❤️
get song assigned !!!
spy, yours is :
mr. pinstripe suit - big bad voodoo daddy
Hm? What does this mean.
WATER FIGHT!!!
*throws water ballloon*
-✉ ( @askmessenger)
MERDE! MON SUIT!
even if he is an idiot its probably expected to end up like that considering how he was raised... plus hes still somewhat young, i think he can still learn. im sure you were just like him when you were young
I was NOTHING like him when I was his age.
I think he might, uh, just be.... energetic? Enthusiastic? He's... not one to look before he jumps, I should say. - Chef Anon
My words exactly except put into a more non harsh way Chef Anon.
Well, I mean, idiot probably isn't the nicest word. - Chef Anon
It’s the PERFECT word.
Sometimes I feel like my son is an idiot.
[if i could so] [submit] [a/an] inquiry, [how/what] [do/are] your SAPPERS work. i think it is [important/necessary/VITAL to know how\n works. [thanks/thank you]
I don’t even know myself, Mon husband made them for me. Ask him, @onebrighteyedbuilder
Once again, over 60,000+ viruses were added to my computer.
This is the fourth computer I’ve bought.
Ooc post!
IM VERY HAPPY TO ANNOUCE THAT MY AND MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN MAKING A SERVER AND ITS FINALLY READY,
BOOM
Why u pretty
Lots of make up.
I'm no good at making fancy stuff, but I brought some pollo a la crema!! -Chef Anon
Oo!! Merci !
(/ooc sorry for the late reply!!)
i'm doing a study. what's your favorite flower, spy?
Only Mon Cher Dell knows that answer Mon Ami,
“.. Blorp.”
Spy better keep her distance from .. whatever that slimy creature is, or else she’ll get her suit stained.
Oh. mon. GOD.
I LOVE IT IT IS SO ADORABLE!!!!
∧,,∧
(,,・∀・) Meow
███████ ═╮
███████ ▏ ∥
███████ ═╯
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Meow meow meow !! (THIS NEVER CANE OUT IF MY MOUTH.)
Hey girl
I mean they
Bonjour??