Willie - Blog Posts

Nothing could have prepared me for the whiplash I got when I first read the jatp novelization and found out that Alex never actually bought any pink shirts or hoodies, he just accidentally had a red sock in his white laundry, turned everything pink and decided to just roll with it.

⠀⠀ overwhelming, but strangely addicting; it was impossible to count on one hand the many, many people that approached her tonight, similar words spilling from their lips with matched enthusiasm or skepticism ⏤ never an in-between. dime needed a nice break, a timeout for a few minutes. she orders the 12 grapes but not for the same reasons as everyone else, instead happily munching one by one on the fruit while watching the party with curious yet shaky eyes. the voice behind her makes her turn around, cheeks filled like a chipmunk storing food for the winter before an embarrassed hand covers her mouth. “ oh my god! hey! ” words muffled by the grapes, cheerfulness matched despite her vision squinting in an attempt to recognize them. it takes a good minute before dime remembers who this was. with a limp wrist, fingers point in their direction with a bounce, head in a slow nod before it clicks. “ sparky, right ? you're a-a new rodani member, ” dime hurries out, swallowing hard on the fruit to speak normally, “ name's dime. we're on the same crew. hopefully you heard good things about me. ”

TIME  :  LATE  NIGHT, WELL INTO THE PARTY. LOCATION  :  12WELVE, NYE PARTY. STATUS  :  ACCEPTING  REPLIES  ! ASSUME CONNECTIONS.

“  wait,  hello  !  ”  perhaps  that  wasn't  the  best  means  of  approach  to  someone  they  had  nearly  pile-driven  in  a  rush - hell bent on showing face at one of the hottest parties in town,  but  they  caught  willie  on  a  particularly  successful  day,  hence  the  chipper  attitude.  their  time  in  miami,  brief,  easily  debunked  that  all  too  specific  sparkle  that  they  continued  to  exude  -  always  the  optimist,  regardless  of  the  emotional  drainage  caused  by  a  service  shift.  “  i've  seen  you  before  —  ”  they  began,  knee-deep  in  recollection  to  even  touch  upon  the  impending  social  anxiety,  that  of  which  crept  upon  her  cheeks  with  a  fruitful  bloom.  “  not  here.  maybe  here,  but,  fuck,  you've  just  got  one  of  those  faces  on  ya',  you  know  ?  not  hittin'  on  you,  or  anythin'. no offense. —  it's  just  botherin'  the  shit  out  of  me that your name's escaped me.  ” 

is now a good time to say that alex is PEAK representation of 'gay in theory'??

hear me out, he has very loving and supportive friends and he's comfortable and relatively open with who he is. but we know that he's experienced a lot of homophobia particularly from his parents, and i feel like his trouble expressing his affections with willie really show the impact that had on him.

dont get me wrong, part of it is definitely because of the whole 'willies being blackmailed' thing but it could easily be metaphorical and shit can have double meanings. that hug ?? the way he clearly cares a lot about willie but can't look him in the eyes and admit it even to himself because at that point he has to face the reality of his feelings and show vulnerability with them. it isn't often talked about, but a lot of queer people act very outwardly proud as a preemptive defense mechanism - what you say won't hurt me so dont even bother. because if they show vulnerability then they're letting the prejudice get to them, and they can't do that. hence why alex hesitates from the hug, otherwise comfortable with physical affection but knowing how much this particular hug will mean to him and being scared to face it, particularly in front of the people he loves. because in his experience, the people he loves have been the ones to judge him for it.

its a huge misconception that gay people like to 'show it in your face' that they're gay, and complaining about it is inherently homophobic. but there is some truth that gay people like to call out homophobia before it even comes up, so as to feel some power over it. acting confident and proud is our way of protecting ourselves from a world that has always preyed on our vulnerability.