Easily One Of My Favourite Tweets Of All Time

this feels like a bit. i know it’s not but this is so absurd that it feels like it’s right out of arrested development

This is the worst timeline. (x)

old gods are waking

i found the perfect display for my 100,000+ year old shrimp fossil

It’s so fucked up how tiktok culture has made clout-poisoned people turn the public into content, every day I see people minding their business have their entire faces put online for thousands of likes, a couple kissing on the train, a lady dancing across a cross walk, a guy nodding his head to the music at a club, a lady buying a banana at the store, ring camera footage of the neighbors kids being stupid. Just let people live jfc

"this piece of media is actually really critical of the military/police" and then the underlying repeated message is "individual soldiers/cops know more than civilian government and should be allowed to make decisions autonomously"

drake?

i keep seeing this cut off but the preceding “yessiree” is vital to it imo

enough paintings of saints where they're looking heavenward in ecstatic agony or down with love and mercy on their onlookers as they ascend. we need more paintings where the martyr is looking accusatorily directly at the viewer.

One thing I like to do to derail unproductive social whining is to loudly announce that my butt hurts. This is a tactic I primarily employ at family functions but is also delightful while in close proximity to people being mean to retail and service workers