(Season 4 Spoilers, My Dudes)

Mike crew and Simon fairchild meet once on an airplane and it goes like this

Mike: *throws someone off the plane so that they are falling for all eternity*

Simon: hey I was gonna do that. Who are u?

Mike: I'm Mike, I work for the vast. Who are u?

Simon: I'm simon and I work for the vast

Mike: wait if I work for the vast and u work for the vast, then who's flying this plane?

Simon and Mike both laugh hysterically as the plane begins to experience severe turbulence. The passengers all scream.

"I know it’s not natural. Somehow I… I feel it. I’m sorry, my academic detachment seems to have fled me."

Jonathan Sims, Hive - MAG032

THANK FUCK, JONATHAN SIMS, I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO SAY THAT SHIT-

I love Stan's relationship with the kids so much.

GF emphasizes a lot of very real trauma in Stan's past. Everything from child abuse, homelessness, drug abuse, and survival sex work. And the way that meshes with Mabel being this truly genuine depiction of a weird little girl creates something that is very unique to the series.

It's really touching how Mabel just being Mabel heals Stan's inner child and the way he naturally clicks with her. The weird and creative little boy he used to be, before his father's abuse and toxic masculinity beat that joy and optimism out of him.

It's just damn good. It's a really beautiful depiction of an intergenerational relationship. And I haven’t really seen anything else quite like it. Because there’s also Dipper.

There’s this wall between Stan and Dipper that goes beyond his similarities with Ford and its gender.

Dipper is a boy and Stan clearly doesn’t really know how to handle that. He was taught that boys are raised in a very specific way. And like we see how Stan really struggles with his past, the way he talks about the boxing lessons in particular.

Masculinity is so deeply entwined with Stan's pain and it’s something he can’t easily unravel. How is he supposed to be able to criticize his father for 'toughing him up' when he feels like punching things is one of the only things he’s good at? It's fucking sad.

(courtesy of rudy @lesbianlotl​!!)

So...I got a theory, that like any other theory, sprouted awfully, like a flesh flower in Jared Hopworth's garden:

Am I the only one that has the awful feeling that something like this is gonna happen: So, hypothetically...

Imagine Georgie and Melanie being in the middle of an orde of Archivists Monsters, or just in a dangerous situation in general, and Melanie gets hurt, or is close to dying, and like that... Georgie feels fear again.

Suddently she fears Melanie dying and her not being able to save her.

And by feeling fear she inevitably succumbs to whatever fear domain suits her best.

(Which is probably gonna be the End, because she'll fear Melanie's life ending? Maybe?)

Then imagine Melanie surviving whatever scared Georgie, aand while she hears the sounds of her beloved succumb to whatever horror awaits her, not able to do anything, she can't help but think its because of her.

Or even worse, not realizing at all and just calling out her name hopelessly....Feeling angrier and angrier at each and every monster, person or fear that took her away, but in the end, blaming herself because she wasn't able to do anything.

No? Just me? Okay, I'll go back to my corner.

@not-a-very-mean-lesbian I've taken a full day rest between the end of season four and the beginning of season five to prepare psychologically, but also to cool off the anger I feel towards Jonah Magnus-

My only source of serotonin has been the Bloopers Episode on Loop.

Also, your tags bring me an enormous amount of fear.

Gotta love the duality of Peter Lukas!

One second he's being all funny;

And the other he brings me an ungodly amount of unbridled rage

If you've seen the finale of season four, you know what I'm talking about.

I swear to fuck if he, all this time, has been working with Elias to "UnLeASh tHE aRcHIviST's tRue PoWeR" I will wreak havoc.

If your reflection is missing

1. Do not touch the mirror. If you have already touched the mirror, SKIP TO STEP 15 IMMEDIATELY.

2. First, make sure that your reflection is really gone. Make sure that you are visible. If you are not visible, the lack of a reflection is normal.

3. Check another mirror to see if your reflection is there. If so, the mirror without a reflection is simply broken and needs replacement.

If you have confirmed you are visible and your reflection is gone from all mirrors:

4. Do not touch the mirror.

5. Fill a bowl with water. Overnight, leave it at the base of the mirror nearest to your bed.

6. When you wake, if the bowl is empty, your reflection simply has business elsewhere for a while. You may rest knowing your reflection will return when they are ready.

7. If the bowl is still full, your reflection has been taken.

If your reflection is gone:

8. Be ready. They may come for you.

9. Prepare for a journey. With your reflection gone, you may pass through the mirror, but first, be sure you are prepared.

10. Bring food and water. Beyond the mirror, eat or drink nothing unless it has specifically been offered to you. Dying of hunger or thirst is better than the alternative.

11. Tie one end of a ball of string around your ankle, and the other to something on this side of the mirror, like the foot of your bed. This will not help, but sometimes reassurance is necessary.

12. Do not trust what your eyes or ears show you. Count the number and direction of each step you make. Make no marks. Take nothing with you. Leave nothing behind.

13. What state you find your reflection in will vary. I cannot advise you on this. Trust your instinct. Do not trust them.

14. Follow the steps you made back to the mirror. Do not let your reflection ahead of you. They will be grateful for your rescue, but they may still try to leave, trapping you in their place.

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY TOUCHED THE MIRROR:

15. I’m sorry.

16. Try to wash the chrome off your hands. You will not succeed.

17. Wait. Be ready.

18. They are coming for you. There is nothing you can do.

19. I’m sorry.

More guides

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How to Sneak Food from the Kitchen at Night

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This is almost as good as going all John Amehrst on Elias's office.

Extremely late crack AU where Gertrude and Gerry met the guy with the clown-eating Monster Pig and just took it back to the Institute. 

Jonah-James-Elias: I’m compelled to ask why

Gertrude: This is my new service animal.

Jonah: For what service?

Gertrude, with her longest pointed Stare: Eating clowns

Jonah:

Monster Pig, sitting outside Jonah’s office, staring in at him through the door he Knows was closed and locked when he came in: 🐷

And that’s where it stays. The titanic horror-hog wouldn’t go anywhere if it didn’t want to. It’d be there to greet Breekon and Hope the second they tried to walk in with their delivery. It’d devour them and the table in one sitting just to get at the Not-Them. 

It’d lay in wait, lurking around Jon and the Archive crew like a massive pink shadow–

Jon: Elias, I understand Gertrude was attached to it, but are you sure we shouldn’t relocate th–

Monster Pig, in the corner: 🐷

Jonah, Knowing it knows where he sleeps: The Pig Stays, Jon

–and turn up at the Unknowing, at which point it would devour the entire circus. 

Jon, Tim, Basira, Daisy:

Monster Pig: 🐷

Its job done, it goes snorting off into the night, maybe heading back to haunt its very best friend, Dylan Anderson…after a brief detour.

Jonah, sitting in his cell: Well, the Unknowing was a waste. At least there’s still the Dark Sun to string them along w–

Monster Pig, kicking down the door, having saved the best clown for last: 

 🐷  

tl;dr: The Monster Pig was Flesh-aligned, Stranger-averse, pro-clown-cannibalism, and would’ve saved the day if Gertrude had only taken it away to let it do what it loved

I am not here to comment on the extremely cool new statement.

I am not here to tell how much I hate when y'all theorists are right (yes, I'm talking about "A Guest for Mr. Spider)

I am here to EXPRESS MY JOY IN FRONT OF THE NEW "I lost my boyfriend/girlfriend" FRIENDSHIP THAT'S BLOOMING BETWEEN JOHNATHAN AND BASIRA.