04/09/2025

03/27/2025

22:22 It's time to start! Have to keep reminding myself that it is never too late to start studying and writing my papers. Everything will work out, and it is going to be OK. I just need to believe in the Universe. Surrender the control I feel like I need to assert in my life right now and do what I can, one day at a time.

What I look forward to for my birthday 😮‍💨:

Completed

✅ See clients

✅ Classes

✅ Part-time job

✅ Meeting with advisor

✅ Revise my thesis timeline with my friend's help

✅ Watch 1 anime episode (current: A Sign of Affection)

✅ Dinner

✅ Sleep by 1am

To-Dos

⏹️ Group project paper

⏹️ Skim project book chapter

⏹️ Skim project articles

⏹️ Shower

Some motivation to start today =)

Even when you're tired, remember why you started.

04/16/2025

Another day, another log ✨ It actually feels nice to have this check-in every day to see how I'm doing mentally and academically. Still not sleeping a lot this week because I call this month the "finals month" of PhD... Have a lot to finish, still have new tasks that get added each week, and I'm not even sure how many full days I have to take a break from it all after this month and in summer =/ Not the best situation, but at least I still get to do some things I like in the meantime 🩵

Current mindset:

Completed

✅ School ✅ Case presentation (woohoo!) ✅ Part-time job ✅ See clients ✅ Get an oil change for my car! ✅ Get gas for weekend traveling ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Client plan ✅ Phone call with a friend ✅ Watch Everyone Loves Me ✅ Dinner ✅ Clinic notes x2

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report - results 6 part 2 ⏹️ Clinic report - results 7 ⏹️ Clinic report - results 8 or Thesis - bullet points ⏹️ Shower?

[End of study: 12:18am] I got frustrated with the cdrama so I ended up skipping through some episodes and stopped doing work for a bit... Ngl I'm getting tired so I think I'm gonna speed through one more episode and call it a night. Good night, lovely humans 🥱

Transitions are hard...

Like I know I got diagnosed last year with ADHD, but I haven't felt like this in so long? Seriously, I don't know how I've functioned so well in college, and now in PhD, my brain is starting to give up on me.

I wish my school or someone had taught me how to use a neurodivergent brain growing up. Maybe it would be less difficult right now.

It feels like I make a plan, and then the next thing I know, my brain chooses not to follow it cause it's not exciting enough. I wish I could just work 4 hours a day and then rest and recharge using the remaining time. I know this is impossible with my current workload and commitment, but I can't wait for that day to come when I can create my schedule and I don't have to worry about not having enough income each month.

Good luck my pals who are also neurodivergent ~

04/15/2025

Today, I think I tapped into hyperfocus mode because (1) I only slept for 4 hours, and this is what happens sometimes when I'm sleep-deprived, and (2) my period just started, so I'm getting some energy back? I still need more evidence to support this claim haha.

I am very grateful today because even though my follow-up appointment with my doctor was basically unnecessary (I think she Googled my diagnosis and gave me recommendations from online...), I had an overall good day. I was on time for my 9am class (after a few weeks of being late). I attended all my classes. I got food for this week. I tried to get my oil changed, but the shop was busy, and somehow the staff miraculously offered to change my oil for free because they overestimated their workflow (thank you, Universe!!!). I ended up going to do my car inspection today, which worked out. And I was on the phone with my partner for a couple hours while he shopped, and somehow I felt included and valued. It feels good to be loved and supported by the people around me and the Universe 🩵

Completed

✅ School ✅ Doctor's appointment ✅ Part-time job (didn't do my full shift today so I'll have to work more hours tmr...) ✅ Car inspection ✅ Renew car registration ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Case presentation - part 2 (1.5 hours) ✅ Walk my dog ✅ Dinner ✅ Watch Everyone Loves Me ✅ Case presentation - final (0.5 hours) ✅ Clinic report - result 3 (0.5 hours) ✅ Clinic report - result 4 (0.25 hours) ✅ Clinic report - result 5 (0.25 hours) ✅ Sleep by 12:30am?

To-Dos

I switched out a task and finished 2 small ones instead! 🎉

[End of study: 12:25am] So ready for bed 😴 Can't wait to get my beauty sleep tonight because I so so deserve it 🩵

I like this post! It reaffirmed some things I've learned in the past =)

Two things I would modify from the first two bullet points under the first point are:

Be authentic: Don't fake it if you're feeling not OK, sad, or other negative emotions. You don't need to fully explain yourself (it's a privilege for the people who care about you and you trust). But don't hide your true self and put on a mask just because you don't want to scare people away. Life has its ups and downs. The right people for you are going to understand that we have our feelings and it's OK.

Understand what you needs and communicate your needs: I learned this from my therapy training. There are times we want to vent, to scream, to cry, to talk about our problems with someone else. If you have experienced people pulling away because you're talking about your problem or "complaining," it might not be because you shouldn't talk about your problems and just go figure it out yourself. It might be due to the people you talk to do not know what you need and they want to handle your problem based on their own way. They could also have low energy when you share with them and they do not have extra energy to share your pain. If you want to vent, ask the person you want to talk with if they have the time and energy for you to vent about what is going on. And if you cannot find someone to vent to and you know you need someone to give you a safe and non-judgmental space to talk, it is always an option to see a therapist and see if it is what you need.

Have a wonderful day, lovely humans 🩵

how to build bridges and make meaningful connections ❀•°❀

for the girlies who want more than just superficial relationships

1. be the kind of energy that people want to stay around

be light, not draining. bring warmth, humor, and softness where you can. I always try to smile at people when I talk to them or see them, and people notice how I'm happy to hang out with them. just bringing a positive energy immediately draws people towards you.

try not to complain. everybody has struggles, and while venting can feel natural, it can also quietly drain the energy from conversations and people listening. personally, I struggle with this too. but, when we constantly focus on what's wrong, we unknowingly push people away. no one wants to feel like every conversation is a weight to carry.

instead, try adding something lighter or more meaningful. instead of saying, "I'm so stressed," try "this week is super busy, but I'm making time for a break soon." it's not about pretending that life's perfect, but being mindful of the energy you bring to a space.

show up with consistency. make plans for lunch and actually show up. remember small things that they say in conversations. it's always the greatest feeling when someone remembers that I had an important performance or difficult test and then ask me about it afterwards.

2. connect through conversation

make eye contact. it's uncomfortable, I get it. but, when you look someone in the eye while they're talking to you, it makes you look 1) more engaged about what they're saying, and 2) more genuinely appreciative of their presence. practice doing it little by little every day, and soon, it will become like second-nature.

share stories, not just facts. I think that conversations come alive with small stories with details that make moments memorable. for example, instead of just saying “I had a phone as a kid because I was on the soccer team” (fact), i added layers: “I got a phone because I went to soccer matches as a kid! I was terrible at soccer, but I helped the team by tricking opponents into thinking I’d get the ball. basically, I was a glorified decoy” (story). true story, by the way.

3. acknowledge them, even if you are not actively hanging out.

greet them by name. when you see them while walking, make an effort to remember their name and say hi. I feel that greetings come off as much more genuine when I address them personally.

if you don't know their name, still make an effort to smile and wave. I would still appreciate it if someone takes the time to acknowledge me, even for a little moment, because it shows that they care.

4. embrace compliments and connection

take compliments. I'll be the first to admit, I struggle with this too. but, isn't it a bit awkward when you give someone a compliment and they instantly deflect it with "oh but I look so ugly today like my hair is whack and my eyeliner is uneven" (calling myself out...)? instead, I think it's best to thank them genuinely for noticing you, even if you don't fully agree with their compliment. receive it with gratitude, not self-criticism. it's not about actually being perfect, but appreciating the kindness behind their words.

compliment them back, and be observant about it. you could just say, "you look amazing too" (though that's still nice). but, the next step could be noticing something specific, like their earrings or the way they carry themselves. or, share what you actually admire about them, like their kindness or determination. it's about making your compliment feel personal and thoughtful.

if you admire someone, tell them. it only sounds fake if you make it fake.

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remember, real connections are built on authenticity and kindness. it's not about being perfect. it's about being genuine, showing up, and appreciating the people around you. now, you just have a few more tools on how to make these connections and be the friend that you would appreciate in your own life.

thank you for reading all the way through as always. wishing everybody all the good things in the world and a blessed rest of your day <3

sending lots of love, q's playlist

Middle of Day 1

The day didn't go as bad as I had imagined. Started working on some school assignments on my to-do list after eating a nice breakfast (more like lunch) and watching an episode of A Sign of Affection =)

Here's to the possibility that I will face the more daunting task of continuing to write the literature review part of my thesis. Cross my fingers that I finish the day strong and satisfied!

04/08/2025

Starting my studying at home at 10:32pm... It's ok, I'm just going to do my best until I let myself start getting ready to go to bed in an hour. I will need the sleep, and I cannot wait to rest because I have worked hard lately =)

Completed

✅ School ✅ Staff meeting (1.5 hours...) ✅ Part-time job ✅ Nap (2 hours 😮‍💨) ✅ Dinner/snack ✅ Clinic document (so proud! I've been procrastinating on this since Feb lol)

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report results 1 ⏹️ Clinic report results 2 ⏹️ Shower (I'll consider this in the morning 😅)

Kinda still feeling frustrated that my professor docked points because I have been getting to class late, but I literally have accommodations for that. I hope it's just that he forgot. I'll need to talk to him about it, and I'm not enthusiastic about it...

[End of study: 12:08am] Ok, I'm calling it a day because I don't want to push my sleep back any further. Good night, lovely humans 🩵

Reflection: Everyone is broken in some way. Why is being broken so bad?

04/14/2025

A new day, a new plan. Trying to stay optimistic and ground myself with inner peace today. I'm not sure what will happen in the future, so all I can do is to take one step at a time and focus on today =)

Completed

✅ Walk my dog ✅ Yoga ✅ Breakfast ✅ Inspirational videos (they're helpful to give me hope and motivation 💖) ✅ Pay bills ✅ Thesis: revise 1 section (took me 3 hours in total to add citations and draft an email to my advisor lol; but it's DONE!) ✅ Group project 2: find presentation slide template ✅ Therapy ✅ Dinner ✅ Play Xbox with partner ✅ Case presentation: background information ✅ Shower (gonna go shower now~)

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report results 3 ⏹️ Clinic report results 4

I have quite a bit to finish today, but I am hopeful. At least there are also some things to look forward to 😊

[End of day: 12:26am] Basically finished around 11:45 but I didn't want to stop watching drama trailers to find my new show lol. Then my internet decided to give me issues so now I will go shower and call it a night 🥱