Batfam Quotes As Things My Family Has Said. (Featuring Latino Jason)

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Okay, so this one is long. Legit this happened yesterday.

*whole family is going out for dinner*

Tim: *locks the door before leaving the manor* okay, everyone ready to go? I'm starving.

Bruce: Alfred, did you get the house key?

Alfred: ... no master Bruce. You grabbed the car keys, I assumed you grabbed the house keys.

Bruce: oh... well... oops?

Jason: You, Bruce Wayne, Batman, "world's greatest detective", have locked yourself out of your own manor.

Bruce: ...

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: Drake, look what you did. Not only did you lock us out of the manor, but you have humiliated father!

Tim: wtf, how is this MY fault!?

Damian: tt useless.

Tim:... you little-

Dick: whoa! Let's all calm down! We're all a little hangry and not thinking straight.

Steph: yo, I didn't get my phone. It's in the kitchen.

...

Bruce: *sigh* let me get a sledgehammer.

Alfred: master Bruce, there must be a less destructive way to enter the manor.

Bruce: Alfred, I've spent millions of dollars on our security system. This is the least destructive method.

*leaves to get the sledgehammer*

*a couple minutes later.*

Bruce: how... how did you?

*Cass standing next to the open door*

Cass: credit card!

Jason: million dollar security system my ass.

This is something I’ve been very slowly chipping away at for months. Thought I’d finally post the first few chapters.

This fic focuses really heavily on the relationships between the Autobots, and how they support each other when things are absolutely awful. Very much found family, but also a bit of romance.

NO INCEST. I don’t fuck with that. So, yeah, the twins are main characters but you don’t need to worry about them suddenly kissing or somethin like that.

Hope y’all enjoy :)

Damian in the Sons of Anarchy AU still speaks English like that but this time its Jason’s fault since he taught him to speak like a Victorian aristocrat because he was petty about being kidnapped and made a babysitter to his baby brother in a foreign country.

Part 9!

He can fix everything. He can duct tape it all into the fluffiest family bonding~

Part 1

Bee🐝

Oh no

Our table

It's broken

“well, the table broke 🤷🏻”

Hamato fam is multilingual (canon) and they raised casey multilingual don't fight me on this you will lose

Batfam quotes as real things I've heard

*standing on one foot with an arm in the air*

Tim: doing flirty things

Jason: THAT'S flirty things?

Tim: *deadpan* I can't flirt

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Steph: *playing Fortnite* Sheeeeeeeesh

Tim: Do that again and I'll chuck this Cookie Butter Latte at your head.

Steph: Try me b*tch

Cows and Licorice

Ameice (America × Iceland)

Rating: Everyone

Prompt: Language

Wrote this for day 1 of rare pair week! @aphrarepairweek2021

There wasn’t a day that went by that Emil wasn’t amazed by his boyfriend. Between his charisma, intellect, and ability to do and say the most random things, there was never a boring day. For example, Alfred built a replica of the white house out of waffles last Wednesday. Emil was too impressed to be upset about the mess Alfred made in the kitchen. 

    One of Alfred’s coolest tricks is his knack for languages. English, French, Spanish, Portugese, you name it. He can speak it. Except for Icelandic…

    Emil doesn’t mind translating for Alfred, he actually quite enjoys it. There’s this satisfaction that he gets from having this ‘one up’ on his boyfriend. But of course, Emil acts like a moody teenager constantly. At this point it’s involuntary, he just approaches every situation with sarcasm. And so, to avoid “annoying you my dude” Alfred set out to learn Icelandic…

“... and after we come back from the restaurant and the carnival, I’ll give him the big surprise!” Alfred took a big breath. “So, what do you think?” Matthew sighed on the other end of the phone, “I think it’s sweet, but it seems like a lot of work. Also, Emil isn't really a “big plans” type of person. Don’t you think he’d just like to spend an evening in?” True, Emil doesn’t really like people. But he would love this surprise. “Aw come on Matt! He’ll love it!” Alfred was beaming. He really out did himself this time, this is going to be the best anniversary yet!. 

    Emil had on a pair of black slacks and a gray button down. Alfred had told him to wear something nice. He looked at himself in the mirror, “This is nice enough, right?” He shrugged, it doesn't matter what he wears as long as he thinks he looks good. 

    He heads downstairs. “Hey good lookin’! I haven’t seen you bust out the slacks in a while.” Emil blushes slightly. “You told me to look nice… wait… are you wearing that fancy cologne that Francis got you for Christmas?” It was Alfred’s turn to blush. “Yeah, I was saving it for special occasions.”

    The two headed out to this fancy restaurant downtown. It was nice and quiet, which Emil liked. On the way home, the pair stopped for ice cream. Alfred got some rainbow sugar-sugar ice cream, Emil got black licorice. It was late by the time they got back home. The two settled in to watch one of those cheesy Hallmark movies.

    When the movie ended, Alfred pulls Emil onto the back porch. “You have more planned?” He asks. Alfred flashes him that brilliant smile, “Of course! This is our fifth anniversary!” Emil smils, he loves this dorky man. “Close your eyes!” Emil closes his eyes. 

“Okay, you can open them.”

Emil gasps, Alfred to standing there with a bouquet of flowers. But they're not real flowers. Each flower is made of black licorice twisted and shaped into a flower. It's personal and sweet. Only Alfred and his family would do something like this for him. "I love it Alfred." Alfred smiles. 

Then, he says three words in Icelandic. Emil stops in his tracks and just stares at Alfred for a moment. "What?" Alfred repeats the phrase. It starts as a chuckle and escalates into loud, belly laughter. Alfred looks very offended and confused by Emil's reaction. Emil finally caught his breath enough to reply to Alfred. "Do… do you know what you just said" Alfred huffs, "yes! I said that I love you!" Emil laughs harder, "No Al, you just called me a cow." Alfred looks mortified, "what...I…I didn't mean too! Matthias told me that is how you say I love you." Emil smirks, "He lied." Alfred runs a hand down his face. "I'm so sorry Emil. I messed it all up." Emil put his hands on the side of Alfred face. " you didn't mess anything up. You planned a wonderful evening. This gift was so thoughtful, doesn't matter is Matthias who I am going to strangle later messed it up. I love all of it, just like I love you."

They kissed.