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Batfam quotes as things my family has said. (Featuring Latino Jason)
Tim: *Doing duolingo* Hey Jay, how do you say glue in Spanish?
Jason: El Glue.
Tim: *types it into duolingo* *pauses* *glares* You're a bitch.
Batfam quotes as things my family has said (and done)
*whole family is sitting in the living room*
Jason: *coughs*
Tim: *dives off the couch and slams into wall trying to get away from Jason*
Jason: What the hell. I don't have the plague...
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Dick and Jason: drunk
Jason: ever notice how Tim glows in the dark.
Dick: huh?
Jason: He glows in the dark! Just look.
Dick: *looks over* woooooah... you're right. It's because he's so pale.
Tim: What are you guys talking about?
Dick: Your pale skin. Don't worry I love pale skin... I love ALL skin.
Jason: Nice save.
Tim: Become Robin they said, gain a family they said...
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Okay, so this one is long. Legit this happened yesterday.
*whole family is going out for dinner*
Tim: *locks the door before leaving the manor* okay, everyone ready to go? I'm starving.
Bruce: Alfred, did you get the house key?
Alfred: ... no master Bruce. You grabbed the car keys, I assumed you grabbed the house keys.
Bruce: oh... well... oops?
Jason: You, Bruce Wayne, Batman, "world's greatest detective", have locked yourself out of your own manor.
Bruce: ...
Jason: *wheeze*
Damian: Drake, look what you did. Not only did you lock us out of the manor, but you have humiliated father!
Tim: wtf, how is this MY fault!?
Damian: tt useless.
Tim:... you little-
Dick: whoa! Let's all calm down! We're all a little hangry and not thinking straight.
Steph: yo, I didn't get my phone. It's in the kitchen.
...
Bruce: *sigh* let me get a sledgehammer.
Alfred: master Bruce, there must be a less destructive way to enter the manor.
Bruce: Alfred, I've spent millions of dollars on our security system. This is the least destructive method.
*leaves to get the sledgehammer*
*a couple minutes later.*
Bruce: how... how did you?
*Cass standing next to the open door*
Cass: credit card!
Jason: million dollar security system my ass.
Batfam quotes as things my family (and friends) have said.
Damian: *ranting* Father is infuriating at times!
Steph: I don't have a dad
Jason: I don't have a mom
Dick: You guys have parents?
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Steph: *playing Fortnite* Sheeeeeeeesh
Tim: Do that again and I'll chuck this Cookie Butter Latte at your head.
Steph: Try me b*tch
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Dick: hey, you want to go get Starbucks
Jason: Sur-
*loud footsteps sprinting down the hallway*
Tim: *slides around corner* CoFfEe?!
*silence*
Damian: you need professional help.
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Damian: *walks into Tim's room. Turns off all the lights and knocks his water bottle off his dresser. Then walks out*
Dick: Awww... he likes you!
Tim: I hate this fucking family.
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Damian: *gasp* I lost all my progress on Cheese Vikings!
Tim: You're displaying more emotion than you did when I was shot.
Damian: Of course I did, it's Cheese Vikings you uncultured swine.
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Tim: *in a heated debate with steph* it's so boring! Dead children, dead children, dead children, nobody cares! Walton files is so much better!
Jason: what the fuck did I just walk into.
@oliveid
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Damian:*teases Tim about something stupid*
Tim: Hey Jay, can you tell Damian that he's being illogical.
Jason: sure. DAMIAN, DON'T BE A DICK!
Dick: I resent that...
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Dick: *walks outside without a coat in the middle of winter* oshabooshabrrrrr
Tim: did you just... what the hell was that?
Dick: it's cold...
Tim: and your first reaction is "oshabooshabrrr"?
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Jason: Pass me the blueberry jelly
Damian: *picks up jar and scoops the rest of the jelly out onto his eggs*
Damian: sorry, it's all gone
...
Jason: you little...
Batfam quotes as things my family has said
Tim: Duck tape fixes anything.
Tim: Car breaks down? Duck tape.
Tim: Coffee mug chipped? Duck tape.
Tim: Get Stabbed? Duck Tape.
Dick:
Dick: Tim, no.