"You And I Were Meant To Be, But Only In A Memory"

I'm actually a fucking terrible person i literally deserve to die. I deserve every single cut and scar and I deserve to bleed out one of these times. I deserve every terrible thing thats happened to me and i deserve every horrible thing thats about to happen

I really tried to make this work, and I hope you know that...

Ive memorized every part of you. I can remember how your hair feels in my hand. I remember how perfect your teeth are when you smile. I can recall perfectly how your lips felt on mine. I can visualize your perfect face. I can still hear your laugh. I can feel your breath as you whisper in my ear. I remember your hands, and how they fit perfectly in mine. I can remember how close you hug, and how your hand slides down my back. I can remember every single thing about you so clearly. I remember every single thing you made me feel. Whenever i remember this, it makes me want you again. Thats what i'm sure about. So i guess my question is; Why arent you sure after all thats happened between us? Do you remember every detail of me? Do you think about me as much as i think of you?

you can never replace anyone, can you? I mean you can try. you can try like hell. you can try and forget but its always there.

I wanna be with someone who understands my scars. Someone who wont try to change them, but understands why. I need someone whos equally or more fucked up than me.

I feel like im being shaped and molded into what you want. You're chipping away pieces of me, and im letting you.

- it would feel nice to belong somewhere

Honestly... The darkness scares me more now rhat i have a life im excited to love for. i actually have peolle in my life that care about me and i realize that, which is terrifying because i dont wanna hurt them like i wanna hurt myself ya know?

In Biology we were talking about euthanasia and our thoughts on it. Literally everyone in my class was saying they couldnt imagine wanting to die. That they didnt even have the guts to even hurt themselves in any way. I kept getting flashbacks to last night, and all the fresh scars on my arms and legs and it made me die a little bit more inside, knowing how truly alone i was.

Im in one of the worst places mentally that I've ever been in. I don't understand what I did wrong. Why did he stop answering my texts and leave me on read for days??? Why only now after only a week hit me up again and think I'll just come back to you? I probably will but that's not the point. If I just disappeared... Would you even notice? You wouldnt care... I know, because I've been gone for months and you haven't even noticed. It's all too much for me... Fuck.

i could never explain why i cut myself