I. Can't.

Supernatural is coming to an end.

last of sam winchester

last of dean winchester

last of castiel

last of jack

last of these dorks

goodbye, team free will

A Kiss from Heaven

Summary: (Y/N) has grown to love Sam throughout all the time that she has known him. When Castiel breaks down the wall keeping Sam from his memories from Hell, she notices that something is wrong with him. One night, she tries to distract him from the memories.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Finishing washing the last dish, I put it in the rack and looked out the window. It looked like Dean was still working on his beloved baby, while Bobby sat in a chair and watched. He was nursing a beer in one hand and was looking at the newspaper in another hand. He was obviously looking for another hunt again. I turned around and picked up the towel laying on my left and started drying my hands.

My eyes drifted over to the dinner table, where Sam chose to sit at. His eyes were closed, while his head fell forward, almost about to hit the table. He’s been up since this morning trying to study for what was happening with Cas. He was studying so hard that he was falling asleep. I sighed and put the towel. I made my way to the table and started shutting all the books that were open on the table. I stopped for a moment and let my eyes drift over to Sam again. His head was now on the table, while his arms rested beside him. He looked so peaceful as he slept. It was like as if all of his worries and fears that ever tormented him washed away and disappeared. Like they no longer were allowed to do so for as long as he was asleep.

I walked a little more closer to him and stopped at the edge of his chair. My arm reached out and grazed the top of his head. My fingers making their way through a few strands of his hair, until I came to the end of one and pushed it behind his ear. He was so beautiful- every inch of him. I leaned forward so that our faces were level to each other. Leaning in, I placed one hand on the char taken by him and the other on the table, steadying myself. Lips found his forehead and lingered there for a moment. Slowly, I leaned back up and smiled. “I love you Samuel and you’ll never even know” I whispered in a hushed tone, careful not to wake him.

I tiptoed back, so I would not wake him and turned to make my way into the living room. I should stop distracting myself and actually try to get some sleep tonight. As I walked through the halls and up the stairs to the room I was staying in, my thoughts went back to Sam. I remembered a few days ago when Cas put him in a coma like state. During that time, he was thrashing and moving around as if something was hurting him. I had to admit, it scared me more than it should have. Maybe that was because I have grown to love Sam more than I should have. I loved Dean like a brother and Bobby like a father, but my feelings to Same were way different. I had fallen for the clumsy moose and I wanted to be his happily ever after. Or as Dean puts it, his apple pie life.

Thoughts of Sam rushed through my mind. His smile was wide and clear. The only actual time that I have seen Sam actually smile was when he got his soul back. It was so genuine and made me want to smile. Just thinking about the memory now was making my lips curl up into a smile. Another memory popped into my mind. This one took place when Cas zapped us back to the old west. I remember Dean was so happy that he would actually get to experience such an event, but when he got there, it wasn’t as he pictured it. I remember that he made Sam dress up as a cowboy and he made me dress up as a saloon girl. That definitely killed my vibe. Especially when I was the prettiest saloon girl there. I laughed to myself about that one.. That had to be the craziest memory that I had of us three.

I was in the room now, so I grabbed a blanket and changed into a comfy pair of pajama bottoms. I had a weird feeling that I should sleep in the living room tonight. Call it a hunch, but usually when I had those weird feelings, they usually were right. I started down the stairs and down the hallway again, going back to the living room. Good thing Bobby and Dean were still outside or else I would have to deal with all the sounds that they made at night. This is why I chose a different room to sleep in, because of those idjits. I sat on one of the recliners and pushed the handle on the side to tilt it back. Setting my blanket the way that I wanted it, I closed my eyes and feel asleep.

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I opened my eyes and heard sounds coming from the kitchen. I felt so groggy, that it took me a minute to actually figure out it it was was coming from the kitchen or not. With my legs, I pressed the recliner bed back in, took off my blanket and got up. As I started making my way to the kitchen, I hear someone whining a little and a few grunts here and there. I called out, but no one answered. Yawning, I made my way into the kitchen to where the sound was coming from.

My eyes adjusted to the scene around me and stopped at the table again. There was a big man in a chair, who had his head on the table. He was the one making all those noises. My brain started slowly adjusting just like my eyes and it clicked. The man in the chair was Sam. I sprang to action and made my way over to him. The scene unfolding in front of me invited flashbacks of the night Castiel put him in that coma like state. I started tapping him on his big shoulder. “Sam” I started. He did not respond and kept grunting. I tried tapping him again. “Sam!” I said even louder. There was still no response from the big Viking in front of me. I sighed and sat down on the chair that was closest to him. Picking up his hand, I started rubbing little circles with my thumb. “You’re going to be alright. You always are” I said trying to comfort him. At this point, I think that I was comforting myself more than I was him.

A few minutes went by with him still captured in the nightmare that he was having. It was getting worse by the second and now he was acting as if he were getting choked from some unknown force. I let his had go a long time ago because I was scared and did not know what to do. I wish that Dean and Bobby didn’t stay out so long so they could help me. My knees were held up against my body as I watched the man I love go through this. Tears started making their way down my face. “ Come on Sammy. Please wake up!” I kept shouting in my head, as I continued to watch him.

Suddenly, after a while of such a terrifying event, he jolted awake. I quickly wiped my tears away and stood up, ready to comfort him any way that I could. The big giant turned his head frantically, looking like he was trying to make sense of everything around him. He stopped and looked at me. “(Y/N)?” He questioned, looking like a deer caught in headlights. I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. “Hey Sammy. I heard you struggling there for a moment.” This response caused him to look down at the ground. I could tell that something was bothering him, but just how much was he willing to tell me?

He sighed and looked back up at me. “Yeah, I was uh... I was... I was struggling hard” he let out. Tears started cascading down his beautiful face. He closed his eyes for a moment and looked away. This made me sad, so I kneeled down in front of him. I wrapped my arms around his big frame and brought him as close as I could to me. I wanted to shield him from whatever he was going through. He didn’t deserve this.

New tears started making their way down my face, replacing the old ones. “It’s okay Sammy, I’m hear and I’m never letting go” I said as I rested my chin on the top of his head. A shaking and broken man was in my arms and all I could do was hold him. This thought shattered my heart. He wrapped his arms around me and moved his head to the crook of my neck. “I can’t do this anymore.” It came out more as a whisper than anything else. I placed my hands on each side of his jaw bone and brought his face up to mine. I looked into his watery, sea green eyes. “Yes you can” I said, trying to smile. This in turn made him smile and close his eyes. A shaky breath left his body. His hands came down to my waist as his head started leaning to the side and in. In what felt like an eternity, his lips finally were on mine. They tasted like water, but I didn’t care. I had to let Sam know that I was here to help him.

My hands slid up from his jaw bones up to the top of his head and into the thick locks of his hair. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I needed him to know that I loved him. Pressing my lips closer to him, I could feel him smiling into the kiss. He pulled away and kissed me on the forehead. As his lips lingered, I took my hands out of his hair and placed them on his chest, steadying myself. We stayed like thought for a little while, until I looked up and made contact with his beautiful eyes again. He smiled at me. “You game me a peace of Heaven tonight. More than I have ever had in a while.” I leaned in and captured his lips in another, chaste kiss again. I pulled away and placed my forehead on his. “Thankyou.” he whispered. I smiled. “You’re welcome Sammy.”

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A/N: Requests are open! Tell me what you thought and if you ever need to talk or get to know me, just hit me up! Love you all and you are amazing!