The Wildest Thing About Lan Wangji Is The Way He’s Immediately Enraged At His Own Feelings For Wei

Before ever having sex, they already knew each other in the most intimate away possible. They had seen each other naked of their defenses, both saw what hid on the other side of the protection walls the other had created, and fell in love entirely with what they found

They can read each other like someone reads a book

When Neil was about to be taken to his father, Andrew took one look at him and saw something was wrong. He got close and didnt need to say anything for Neil to understand that he was asking what was wrong. A lot of times they dont need any words, just one look, one touch and thats enough

They make my heart ache

I didn't notice Neil Josten's supposedly sexless narrative because he thinks too much like me and we were both fascinated by Andrew's every move. The most attractive thing a person can do is match your freak, and Neil (Identity Fraud) Josten found the one man who scratches that itch. Physical sex has NOTHING on the intricate mind games these two were playing the whole time.

The thing is that Kevin has no one to lean and confide into

Thea could barely believe that Riko broke Kevin's hand. She gets mad at him for not being open with her and then proceeds to discredit and not believe in him (how to be an awfull person 101). Kevin could never trust her enough to really talk about the level of abuse he faced, she could barely handle the surface of it

Even though he has his dad, I dont think Kevin feels confortable to really share those things with him, simply bc Wymack is also too emotionally involved in the situation and probably blames himself for not being there to protect Kevin (which is not his fault).

He cant connect or trust Bee and considers her to be Andrew's

Andrew and Neil are in a world of their own

This leaves him with no one and a very serious alcohol related problem

Not to mention Kevin was the one who spent the most time In the Nest. Jean arrived when he was 14, Kevin has been in that hell hole since his mom died. He probably watched Riko get more and more cruel and mean everyday, without being able to do nothing about it. Not to mention how hard it must have been to deal with the change in the way he was treated after his mom died. Being slowly turned into a thing, into property, by the kid you considered your brother and the man you considered your uncle. When did things got so bad?

How it must have been the first day Riko tortured him? Does he remembers it? And how it happened? Did Riko slowly started to realize, now that Kevin was alone in the world, he could do whatever he wanted to him? Did Kevin try do defend himself only to learn that Tetsuji would ignore Riko's behavior, but wouldnt ignore it if Kevin fought back? In the back of his mind, does Kevin remembers the days in which things weren't like this? Like a faded memory of him and Riko playing around and laughing while Tetsuji and Kaylight talked? Did he grab onto this memory at the begging, hoping the kid he considered his brother was still in there somehow, somewhere, only to learn slowly that whatever path Riko chose had no coming back from?

Like, just imagine being a kid, grieving your mother and all of a sudden Uncle Tetsuji becomes Master and your best friend becomes self proclaimed n° 1

And then abuse becomes almost a second language, all your days feel like a fever dream , training like hell, being hurten like hell, all alone in the world, stuck in the Nest and trying to tell yourself this is what your mother would have wanted, even though the fading memories of her touch feels so different from the heavy hands and sticks you are now used to. How could someone who cradled you so gentily want this for you? But...did she ever cradled him? Or was that distant memory just a dream? It certainly felt like a dream sometimes.

Kevin really desearves to heal properly 🥺🥺🥺

no Listen kevin is doing the least healing out of everyone andrew goes to therapy he trusts people in his life he confides in neil and neil coped by running and lying and now he’s Staying he’s trying to be honest and to confide in others and letting himself love even jean is going to therapy for his water phobia and is working to trust people and is getting to the point where he can admit what happened to him was awful and he didn’t deserve it but kevin?? kevin doesn’t talk about his feelings Ever the most vulnerable we see him is when he has panic attacks about riko and what does he do? talk to the people around him? NO he chugs vodka and shoves it all down that’s all he does repress repress repress I doubt he’s even vulnerable in therapy yes bee knows the facts of the situation but when I first got into therapy I would give my life history so rehearsed and robotic and detached he can’t acknowledge how the horrible things he went through Affected him part of him still thinks the abuse made sense!!! because it was punishment for not being perfect!!! and he still believes he has to be perfect above all else!!!!

pt.52!! <pt.51

tags for the homies ❤️ @andrewsleftarmband @blurryhour @you-know-i-get-itt @notexactlythatgirl @longspacerat @tessasilverswan @minyard-05 @carbon-dated-gal @bisexualchaosdemon @stormiiflies @watercoloureyes01 @vampire-overlord @iron-sides @azure-wing @buffalo-fox @ohgodnotagainplease @pink-hydrangea @jaywalkerss @ohmynoggin-blog @cosmic-marauder @min-getoutofmy-yard @plazybones @disastersappho @leestars13 @the-witch-forever-lives @minyardsss @post-historical-posts @andabuttonnose @hidinginmyhands @aftg4l @allfor-thegames @kaleidoskuls @inafieldofstarflowers @snowcoming @mooniism @jeanmoreausautismstickers @prometheusthedragon @graveyardviolence @bustedleftshoe @beatrix33 @aftg-bs @yes-i-exist-shutup @milktemproom @all-for-exy @moon-over-ruined-castle @oneandonlystarshine @dragonslayer26806 @malepresentingleg

There are two friendships in the books that would be epic but had the potential to destroy the world as we know it:

-Andrew and Alisson

-Neil and Aaron

The foxes are lucky they hate each other, bc if they became friends...

andrew and allison would’ve been too powerful if they had gotten along. they would go to the mall together and buy clothes for people who are not themselves that those people do not want and then get back to fox tower to give said people the clothes they do not want along with opinions that they also do not want. they know everyone’s business. they don’t care much about the emotional boundaries of others except yes they do. they’re mean in a way that’s fun if you fw them and very not fun if you don’t. they will be honest if you ask them if your club outfit is ugly. they will also be honest if you don’t ask them if your club outfit is ugly. they have very expensive cars in which they drive people around in silently. they are fueled by spite. they are blonde.

Tonight I am thinking about Kevin trying to buy a postcard during an away game at Texas. Going into the airport gift shop and coming back with a bag.

With nothing else to do during a long layover, the other foxes notice and ask why he’s suddenly buying postcards. Maybe Nicky takes the bag and pulls out the singular card. It’s got the outline of Texas on it, and unable to resist making a stupid joke, Nicky says,

“Thea’s never been to Texas?”

Kevin’s of course annoyed by this and takes the bag back without saying anything. Andrew, who’s nervous in airports and not opposed to starting a bit of drama cuts in and says,

“It’s for Jean, not Thea.” He was, after all, there the last time Kevin bought a postcard.

Nothing shuts the foxes up faster than the reminder that Kevin actually has a soul. Despite his best efforts and a “fuck you Andrew,” from Kevin, it’s Renee who smiles. She holds out her hand for the bag which Andrew swipes using his good arm and hands to her.

She studies the front of the postcard then gets up and walks to the same store to buy a different one. Neil catches her while she browses and asks her what she’s looking for. He makes a mental note of their conversation.

Two weeks later Jean receives two postcards from Texas. One from Kevin and one from Renee. It upsets him that Kevin said anything to anyone else about it but he hangs both of them up.

When Neil and Andrew finally take a short trip for a holiday break, Neil buys a postcard from a rest stop in Atlanta and sends it to Jean.

Jean almost drops this one in the sink.

“Neil?!” Cat asks, “oh my god, is he actually nice?”

“No.” Jean replies though he puts the postcard on the wall next to the other ones.

Between the three of them, Jean’s wall fills up. He meets the mail with excitement and hunger instead of dread now.

Renee sends one from Stephanie’s house with the the words, “you know, you could send one back.”

Girl, yess

The way Neil trully cares about Jean makes my heart warm

Like, he makes sure to include Jean on his deal with Ichirou, he offers to ditch the FBI so Jean can process what happened to his sister, he guarantees Jean's abuser will never get close to him again, he always picks Jean's calls (even though he ignores when most ppl call him, bc he actually hates cellphones and calls)

Can we appreciate the fact that Neil answers to Jean calls? Like, Jean is one of the few people that has the privilege to get Neil to pick up his calls

This would definitely be the type of gossip I tell absolutely everyone, like: "do you know Neil Josten? The exy player that is a son of a crime Lord? Yeah, I played with him in the last year of High School, let me tell yall, kid was weird"

y’all ever think about neil’s high school classmates? like this weird kid played with them for a year and then a few months later shows up playing for a shitty team and then the media coverage about him just gets progressively more unhinged. (kathy’s show, his press duty, his looks post-evermore, the coverage post-baltimore, etc)

and then a few years later he’s playing in the pros, is like the fastest starting striker in the history of exy, he’s gonna be on the olympic team, and it’s revealed he’s married to the angry blonde goalkeeper

All the other teams were thinking : "GET A ROOM THE TWO OF YOU ALREADY"

Aaron actually said it (very loudly, while looking disgusted)

Kevin scolded them for not properly behaving. Andrew gave him a slap in the back of the head and told him to stop being a bore

Dan told Neil to bahave but then used this as an excuse to seat o Matt's lap (if Neil can, then she can do it too)

Alisson just rolled her eyes at the two couples and said something in the lines of "I didnt give up my inheritance for this"

Renee was just there laughing silentely

andreil at the next banquet

find the difference

I haven't seen anyone commenting on this, but did yall noticed Kevin and Andrew were sharing the SAME bag for their LA trip???

Like, they brought one single carry-on, with all of their things for the trip on it (probably with their cloths kind of mixed in there too)

Andrew Minyard, who is super protective of his space and things, is out here sharing a bag with Kevin Day

Nora, please, don't make me dream

I will collapse, Im not joking

God, I live off the crumbs that Nora gives and I still beg for more