A Reminder For The LGBTQIA+ Community: A Needlessly Long Post Of Things I’d Like To Say 

Sixth Fucking Sense Apparently

So humans have a funky little sixth sense for when someone/thing is looking at us and honestly wtf.

So an alien spy is trying to get human info getting progressively more concerned when the human they're tailing keeps looking around and acting like they know the alien is there. Maybe it's an alien species renowned for stealth and no other sentient in the galaxy had ever been able to spot them so at this point they're double checking themselves and going insane.

At this point the human's figured shit out and so they lead the alien into a trap much to Sneaky McSneakfuck's dismay and confusion.

So eventually humans hold a press conference about the whole stalker and the galactic federation or whatever it would be called is like:

GF: How in the dick shitting fuck did you know they were there??

Human: felt them watching me.

Gf: felt them fucking What.

There's a frequency of sound that's used in horror movies to instill fear within humans based on some form of primal part of our brain that helps detect earthquakes I think?

What if there's an alien who speaks/makes sounds on that frequency or simply just creates it? The nicest alien on the ship and humans just get so uneasy around them because of this, but don't really know why.

Coothin burst into Human Sara's quarters, smacking the light tapper with xis upper left arm as soon as xe entered. "Human Sara! I know you enjoy seeing the new aliens and you are missing this arrival! The other humans are very exci--" "nnnhhggg shhh. Shhh." Human Sara remained in her sleeping-bay, arm pulled over her eyes. "No time for one of your 'naps'!" Xe reached out and tugged gently on Human Sara's arm with two of xis. "The other humans say they look like a cross between 'faeries' and 'jellyfish' and you must see them and also show me photos of those creatures!" Human Sara pulled herself to the edge of the sleeping bay and -- Coothin leapt backward as the human's stomach acid erupted onto the floor. Xe slammed the emergency button on xis communicator. It wasn't xis medical emergency button (unless xe had been splashed and it was even now burning through xis coverings), but xe couldn't reach Human Sara to press hers. The emergency system located xim and started blaring nearby alarms. Human Sara was keening now, an angry, pained moan as she curled into a a ball and clutched her pillow around her head.

Medics arrived equipped for the wrong species, and started to call for other supplies, when another human-who-hadn't-gone-to-the-new-species-docking came out of his room, squinting and covering his mouth like he, too, might eject acid. "Turn it off. Turn it OFF!" he demanded. The medics were already here, and disobeying an angry and insistent human seemed unwise. The alarms were turned off. The human slumped sweatily against his door frame. Those with acute hearing, if they hadn't been deafened by the alarms, could hear groans from elsewhere in the warren of human housing. "A bunch of us have migraines. Please fuck off. quietly. quietly fuck off," he mumbled, having apparently spent himself with his brief shouts. "What caused this? Do we need to quarantine the human sector??" It wouldn't be the first time. New rules had to keep being added about things the humans had to be screened for when returning from planetside.

"mi'en dlar kweshen." Coothin's translator could not parse the human's slurring and transmitted it directly, but the medics had more powerful systems for this sort of scenario. "no kwarteen. debrief la'er. Shhh..." He faded, staggering back into his quarters. ... A handful of medics-of-various-species and a handful of humans who had recovered first sat (or equivalent-ed) around a table. The humans did most of the talking among themselves. "Is there something we all ate?" "I didn't eat breakfast, I woke up too late for [religious seasonal meal, details sent to handheld]," said a woman whose garment extended over the top of her head. A strongly built human rolled his eyes. "Well I didn't eat dinner." He sat up straight, smug. "Intermittent fasting, you know." Several of the other humans rolled their eyes. "Okay, not food. Stress? I know me and Sara are doing some high-stress work, is everyone else's stuff going off the rails?" The alien medics looked at each other. What rails?

But the humans shook their heads. "Hormones? ...Ladies, at least?" More head-shaking. "Any changes to the cleaning chemicals?" They turned to the medics, who were not in charge of the cleaning robots but did have access to which chemicals were being used where. The medics answered in the negative.

"Everyone good on water? Though I dunno why we'd all get dehydrated at once. No atmospheric water emergencies, right?"

Again, something the medics kept track of. Or would find out about quickly as sick crewmates turned up. "No, atmospheric humidity constant. Well, up a little, in some sectors, for the Dre'mls, the new ones? They require higher humidity and less pressure so maintenance spent most of the day running reclaimers on null gasses, the ones that no-one breathes, so needs are still met but the percentages are all --"

"Wait, wait wait wait" -- humans were talking over eachother and the one with the garment banged her palm on the table to shush everyone. "There's been a drop in atmospheric pressure? Over some hours?"

None of the medic species liked the way the humans all had their eyes trained on them. "...yes? The Dre'mls are delicate--"

The humans tossed up their hands, some of them shouting. "Next time just vent it, oh my [human deity]. The sudden drop will make us all miserable for a few minutes, but we handle that going on and off planetside all the time. Don't drop it over HOURS; that means a storm is coming and it'll knock a bunch of us on our ass."

"... oh. That is... unique. It's rare for a species to sense it at all, if it's within survival parameters. If we encounter a species that requires higher pressure, should we --" "I think it matters less, but err on the side of caution and do it fast, yes."

"We will report this to maintenance and add it to the human files. Thank you all for your time; you may go." And it was added to the human files, under "health risks", that causing a fast pressure drop would cause widespread brief pain, but a slow pressure drop would cause concentrated, disabling pain for hours or days. It was also put under the secret "Arguments that species is secretly/unwittingly a hive mind despite denials" file.

Alien crewmate: Everyone thinks you guys are so cute, but they forget you're venomous. Humans are something else.

Human: Fun fact we aren't technically venomous, we just have so much bacteria in our mouths that most human bites get infected.

Alien crewmate, horrified: I preferred when I thought you were venomous.

Me and who

Me and me

Humans are weird

Okay this is my contribution to humans are weird / earth is space australia. I haven’t seen this done yet, but let me know if someone has and feel free to add to this!!

What if alien species don’t need to blink?

There are many animals on earth that don’t blink (fish, snakes, other reptiles, etc) so it’s not unlikely that there are some aliens who don’t, and have other ways of preserving their eye health.

My pitch: What if a human is sent down with a crew to begin negotiations with a new alien species, and they don’t understand why the aliens get on High Alert every few minutes. Eventually, they learn that the aliens don’t need to blink, and, in fact, blinking is taken as a sign of attack (much like how smiling at a gorilla is a sign of aggression)

Humans are weird

Cause of death: Old age

Imaging if Aliens don't age past like 50 or they figured out how to stop ageing. Like do you ever wonder if ageing is a universal thing?

Alien: Friend Human, I am fascinated by this Mozart musician. You say he performs with a live orchestra, do you reckon when will be his next?

Human: What...oh sorry, he died about a hundred years ago. I can find some bands who plays his music, if you want?

Alien: died? Was he fatally injured or... murdered?

Human: oh, no! As far as I know he died of old age.

Alien:...old age. You mean to say Humans die after a long time?

Humans: um, yeah? I mean why do you think we say 'YOLO' all the time?

Alien: Then how old do human's normally...pass away?

Human: We live, give or take, 80 years.

Aliens: JUST 80?! BUT THAT'S SO YOUNG! AND YOU'RE ALL SO RECKLESS!!

Human: Hey man...you only live once

Be gay

Do crime

Jupiter’s moon Io is one of my favourite looking planets- and according to NASA, the most volcanically active in the solar system.

‼️ARTFIGHT‼️

**[This document and all associated documents are the property of the SCP Foundation, and are subject to the classification requirements and restrictions therein. This document may or may not contain lethal memetic defense measures. Attempting to access or disseminate this document without proper and sufficient authorization is punishable by death.]**

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☣️ ArtFight URL: https://artfight.net/~_ZOZO_

☣️ Team: <:2024_Seafoam:1251653324995035196>

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO have:

- humans

- humanoids

- worm

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO create:

- Humans

- Humanoids

- Ferals(very rarely as it is not SCP-ZOZO'S main style)

- Monsters

☣️ Revenge/Friendly fire?: Due to the unpredictable nature of the anomaly, its inconsistent creations display a probability of friendly fire, but is guaranteed when a revenge is requested from an individual on the opposing side.

☣️ Extra: SCP-ZOZO is to be documented at all times. Only Authorized personnel with a level 4 access card are permitted to handle the anomaly.

☣️ Hitlist: https://forms.office.com/e/54a887K9D1

☣️ Requests to commission are to be followed through the link below before directly interacting with the SCP:

https://msha.ke/zozoshroomer

☣️ Art Examples / Characters