Colorfulbasementbasement - Eu Aurj Au'ou Vorp?

I keep seeing all these things about siblings and how most siblings tend to make weird noises at eachother to greet eachother so now I'm wondering how an alien would react to that cause for me personally me and my brother call eachother by name but in the most voice Crack way possible or we just scream at eachother.

Brother: *screeches name as loud as possible*

Sister: *hears brothers calls and looks toward sound to make sure it was brother*

Alien with sister: is someone dying? You heard that awful sound too right?

Sister: yeah I heard it. Don't worry though it's nothing bad. *screeches back at brother*

Brother: *makes random noise*

Alien: are you sure everything is okay? I'm pretty sure the guide said that humans are in pain or scared when they scream or yell like that

Sister: yeah I'm sure. Just give me a minute *walks out of room to go see brother*

Sister: *comes back flipping brother off through the door*

Alien: *visibly confused* why are you trying to insult your familial? That hand gesture means something very rude so why do it to your family?

Sister: *still looking at brother and flipping him off* oh its fine. We do this all the time. We just give eachother the middle finger until one gives up

a reminder for the LGBTQIA+ community: a needlessly long post of things i’d like to say 

i’ve noticed a lot of hostility in the LGBTQIA+ community recently, both online and outside, and want to talk about some things.

You are NOT entitled to know anyone’s sexuality, or force anyone to come out to make their queerness “valid”. They are valid regardless.

You can be gay and transphobic, pan and acephobic, or non-binary and biphobic, or anything! Don’t use “i can’t be ___phobic, i’m LGBTQIA+” as an excuse to shit on other members of the community.

Intersex people exist. Don’t erase the intersex community- they are here and they are real. 

Don’t insist someone is/is not LGBTQIA+ because of how they act/look/dress/etc. You are not in charge of their identity and you certainly are not entitled to it.

Don’t press people for stories. If you’re only going to talk to a gay/trans/bi/non binary/ pan/ etc. person to only talk about their queerness for publicity or “confirmation they’re queer”, that’s not support. We’re don’t have to validate ourselves to you.

PoC members of our community are in more danger/are more targeted towards hate than our white counterparts. “but we both endure homophobia-“ no. Sure, you both do, but they have to endure racism and racist- founded homophobia on top of that. Let go of your white fragility and listen.

No one in the LGBTQIA+ community faces the exact same problems. Gay people don’t face the same issues as trans people. Bi people don’t face the same issues as ace people. If you try to invalidate someone by saying “they don’t face the same things i do”, well, congrats. You’ve now excluded everyone but yourself. 

I know there are some seriously religious homophobes out there and a lot of trauma can come from religious places but PLEASE do not bash religion as a whole or anyone who is religious just due to it- the last thing we need to be doing is creating a barrier for those of us who belong to both a religious community and our pride one. They belong here too.

Our pride community was built to be a place of support and inclusivity, and it is an amazing thing!! But it has flaws like everything does. We have toxic traits we need to work on, and we need to accept those traits and do our best to fix them. 

some things as a ✨positive reminder✨ for anyone who needs it:

You do not have to label yourself. Anyone who says you do is probably insecure of their own identity. Your identity is valid, label-defined or not.

You don’t have to look or act a certain way to be a part of our community. Stereotypes can help us find each other but can also be harmful for those who don’t fall into them.

Queer identities are supposed to make you feel comfortable and happy. If they don’t, that’s okay. You don’t have to be any specific anything. 

You do not have to come out. You can be out to a small group of people, everyone on the internet, or just your closest friend. You could just be out to yourself if that’s what you’re happy with. 

Respect gender and sexuality across cultures and across generations!! Not everyone and everywhere uses the same terms or words things the same way. Don’t make fun of older folks for not using the term “queer” when it was used derogatively their time. Don’t insist that indigenous gender identities aren’t real, because they absolutely are. You don’t have to understand it- but at least respect it. 

You can change. If you used to identify with something that no longer feels right for you, that’s okay. You’re just as valid as you were before. 

You are not “sensitive” or “too serious” for calling out legitimate hate disguised as a joke. Great job for doing it, that takes guts. 

You don’t owe the world your life story. Even though gay representation is needed in this day and age, you shouldn’t be hounded to share all your experiences. You can just say “that’s that” and that’s enough.

Internalized homo/bi/pan/transphobia is a thing and it is hard to work on. Anyone struggling with accepting themselves, you got this. You are welcome here too. 

You can be religious and part of the LGBTQIA+ community. You can belong here. You are welcome. You and your beliefs are valid. 

Your sexuality is valid. Your gender is valid. Your emotions are valid. Your choices are valid. You are valid.

Realizing who you are is hard work. It can take months, years- we’re all just trying to live on a little rock in space the best we can. So come on- be nice to each other and just live our lives. 

let’s make our community something to be proud of.

I love Humans are wierd, Humans are orcs, ect. I have read about humans breaking bones, and walking around as if nothing happened, or that some humans give birth.

But what i really really wanna read about, is some humans liking the same gender, all genders, or none of them at all, and having another gender identity than their sex assigned at birth, and more. And the aliens are so confused, but supportive because they realise they get a lot of hate and discrimination from some of the other humans in the spaceship

Istg if someone wrote about this

I will marry you /j

Humans Are Weird: Pack Bonding

Archivists note to the reader: It seems you are viewing this item in the human language English. For this reason names have been transliterated, units have been converted, and the content has been ontologically translated. Apologies for any inconsistencies.

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Ziet rounded the corner of the shuttle carefully, the human and the second deathworlder following close behind. The shuttle was only to be docked for a little under sixty minutes, left empty for less than fifteen, and unguarded for a mere seven.

There! The cockpit hatch! She reached a tendril toward the handle, but before she could open it the door opened by itself, revealing a short, but defiantly menacing individual holding a nasty looking weapon. Ziet froze in horror, before speaking frantically, the normal perfection of her grammar lost to the urgency of the moment.

“Kakia! Please just let us go, you’ll never need to see me again.”

The individuals mouth stretched into a wide, unnatural imitation of a human’s grin.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old,’ she spat out the word, “friend. Ziet, the highly esteemed logistics technician, how are you? And what are you doing with the recently escaped, and even more recently declared dead prisoners?”

She focused her weapon at Ziet. On a human’s face a grin can be cheery. In the rest of the universe that grin is taunting, threatening, menacing.

“Please just let us go, please. Please?”

“With the price on their head? With the human ambassador to the GA right here? Why, that would be treason.”

She leaned in close, close enough that the puff of breath that accompanied each word ruffed the fur on Ziet’s face.

“And you, my wonderful, treasonous colleague, here, at my mercy?”

The grin stretched wider, more teeth appearing, ivory white. The words came exaggerated, theatrical.

“It was self defense. She attacked me with the deathworlders. She committed treason.”

Ziet recognized the weapon, specifically the three white dots on the side, and her blood ran cold.

“You’re right about one thing Ziet.”

Her grip tightened on the trigger.

“I’ll never have to see you again.”

The human lunged for the weapon, but no race in the universe was that fast. Ziet felt an impact against her chest, and then a horrible anticipation, like the moment between an injury, and the inevitable agony it would cause. No! Please no! Then malice, pure hatred, flooded through her from the point of impact, coursing through her veins, attacking every nerve and cell in her body. She felt the thaumutic energy in her system recoil, and than start to fight the attacker, but the attacker was sly, and as each pulse of power attacked it was converted, joining the ever-growing tide of hatred and pain. Her body decided that it wasn’t going to win this fight, and instead chose to jettison the power through whatever route necessary.

The human watched in horror as his friend was shot by the attacker, this Kakia person. Ziet’s eyes went out for a moment as the latent entropic energy was called inwards for the battle, and than shone with the power of a spotlight as pure energy was dumped en mass. This wasn’t fast enough however, and more and more energy poured out. It started to leak from her mouth, then nostrils, and then it started to leak through her skin as thousands of amps of power were discharged. The entire volatus was shining with the brilliance of the sun, and nobody in the entire shuttle could see anything but white.

Just as quickly as the light had started it stopped, and the volatus fell to the floor like a spent battery. Kakia uncovered her eyes, and grinned at the human, raising the weapon for a second shot, but the human was already charging. She fired and fired, but had only time to learn one thing before the human’s vengeful body slammed into her own.

Humans don’t use magic.

Ziet felt the weight of several jumpsuits rapped around her. She knew they were jumpsuits because of the wafting smell of Squalus detergent, the brand used to wash clothing inside the personnel wing of the spaceport. There was a gentle tap on her cloak, over her left shoulder. She felt another. Tap. Tap. Tap. Then hand shook her, and she obligingly opened her eyes. There was the human, crouched before her, eyes locked on her face. The eyes were leaking, clear fluid running over the human’s flat face, and dripping off his nose and chin. Behind the human lay the crumpled form of Kakia, a rivulet of dark fluid leaking from the corner of one eye. The human had bound her with another jumpsuit, so presumably she had survived her first encounter with a deathworlder.

“Ziet? Can you hear me?”

The human was still looking at her, and she noticed now that his breathing was erratic, and saw proper fear in those alien eyes.

“I can”

The human’s mouth turned into a grin, a grin that spoke to intense relief, as well as to the effort the human was putting into not showing teeth.

“You ok?”

The Volatus pondered this question. She felt gutted. Every ounce of strength had left her body. She couldn’t even feel the slightest scrap of power in her system. Her head hurt, terribly, and nothing came to relieve the pain. But she was ‘ok’.

“I’m ok”

She winced at the grammar.

“Sorry, I am going to be fine.”

“I’m glad. You scared us. I was so worried”

“Where are we?”

“Flying. He says he can.” The human pointed a limb toward the second deathworlder sitting in the cockpit across the room. “We leave the air five minutes. In five minutes, sorry”

The volatus felt a wry happiness settle over her, despite the fatigue that overwhelmed her The human’s grammar was improving. The human reached beside him and produced the weapon Kakia had shot them with.

“What’s this?”

Ziet didn’t need to study the weapon to answer the question.

“It’s a malice gun, made by Simplicity. It’s like a computer virus.”

The human gestured to himself.

“I’m ok”

“It works by converting the thaumutic energy in your system, and I don’t think humans have any.”

“Oh”

They waited in silence for a moment.

The other deathworlder, the one piloting the shuttle, grunted a single word, the only word it had learnt of galactic common so far.

“Hey!”

The bio-luminescence on its arms lit up, and the human watched the flickering pattern closely, before saying a single word.

“Space!’

The volatus glanced towards the cabin window, and saw the blue curve of her home shrinking. Soon it would be a full circle against a black canvas, painted with thousands of stars. Then it would faded away into the distance completely.

She was free.

Ao3 Discord

10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board

Humans are Weird: Burnout

I didn’t know how best to phrase this, and I definitely didn’t write this with the express purpose to romanticize mental health issues; this is just my own experience with the thing

tw: burnout

On Earth, it would be a Friday.

If Nora was back home, it would be 6:22 PM.

She sat back down at her desk, stretching.

-x-

Vullox was conducting their regular End Of Week check-in. They stopped outside Nora’s door.

Inside was silent, but that was regular for this human. She had called herself a “homebody” once, they had remembered. They opened the door.

Now that Vullox was inside, they could hear a faint scratching noise. Human-Nora, they saw, was at the desk. They called to her.

No response.

Vullox made it halfway through the room when they slowed to a confused stop.

Nora was slumped at the desk, her head resting on the wood, her red pen scratching against the journal.

Vullox wondered briefly how Human-Nora could even be writing at all without being able to see the page. They came closer, almost hesitantly.

Nora’s eyes did not so much as move. They were half-open, staring blankly at a point near the door. Her breaths made a few strands of her black hair quiver over her mouth, but she did not notice - or she did not care. Her entire body was completely still—except her hand.

(There was a human word for this they had read somewhere - something relating to felines, Vullox thought.)

A mounting dread growing in them, they looked at the page.

Things that I do just to take stock because I’m so

freAKING

DEAD

grad school full time

WORKING full time

dealt with a nice guy I think??

Idk, I’m just sick of him at this point

blocked him yeah he got annoying I can’t express it

Reeling I guess from it

ESSAYS????!!!! WHY

WORKING

WAKING UP EARLY

LIKE EVERY FREAKING DAY I

DON’T

WANT IT

GOING THRU MY ESSAY OUTL

Here the words stopped, and Vullox looked at the pen.

They stepped back. Tried calling her name again, but the word seemed to die out. Their scales bristled and stuck out on all edges - the feelings of confusion and dread.

Human-Nora didn’t need to look at what she was writing. But it wasn’t muscle memory, as Human-Dalton had explained to them.

No, it was simply the fact that Human-Nora wasn’t writing anything at all.

The red pen moved up and down the page in short, irregular lines—sometimes dragging, sometimes in a quick burst. Occasionally, she would lift up the pen and tap at the page, before resuming. The page seemed to sink in on the most numerous of the red lines, so dense was the ink there. It was some strange, unknown language - or just no language at all.

Very suddenly, Vullox remembered the human word they were searching for as they stared at the pen, as they stared at her unblinking eyes and slumped form.

Catatonic.

Scales rustling, they walked quickly out of the room and to the one on its left.

-x-

Human-Sascha flung open the door in response to Vullox’s frantic calling. “What.”

She sounded so thoroughly annoyed that Vullox briefly reconsidered asking her for help.

“It is Human-Nora,” they responded quickly. “I went to go to her room for her check-in - I think there is—something—something wrong with her.” Vullox’s scales rustled and clicked constantly, a sign of fear on their home planet Vulmien.

“Is she alright?” Sascha asked as she shut the door behind her. Her voice was no longer annoyed - rather, it held a considerable amount of urgency.

She stepped through Nora’s open door and stopped for a few seconds. Nora was still at her desk, eyes glassy and pen scratching lifelessly. Vullox now could absorb the sight in full, and it rooted them to the spot.

Slowly Sascha made her way over to the desk and laid a hand on Nora’s back. She surveyed the writing in the journal and gently began rubbing Nora’s back, murmuring words that Vullox’s translator could just barely pick up:

“What makes you think you can’t do it?”

She murmured this a few times over, each with a pause between the sentence, each with some variation — as if she was having a conversation with Human-Nora’s brain.

The pen scratched on, still in the same irregular rhythm. Nora lay still, breathing through her mouth. The few strands of hair that lay in front of her mouth quivered with a severe regularity that (strangely) unsettled Vollux even though they knew normal human breathing patterns were set to a tempo.

The pen slowed—at least, there seemed to be more pauses between the lines and taps Human-Nora was creating.

Slowly, the pen grinded to a halt, wobbling on its tip. A few more taps.

The pen fell onto the messy page with Nora’s hand covering it. Her eyes closed and opened, and she blinked a few times. She stirred slightly, her back shifting. Her breathing grew deeper, inhales sharper, almost as if it itself was sentient.

Vullox reflected that it was rather like... watching someone coming back to life.

It took even more time for her to push herself up into a normal sitting position. She leaned into Sascha’s arms, sniffled, and a guttural sound escaped her, quite unlike her regular voice.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. Vullox was struck by how much like a child she sounded - a child apologizing to their mother.

“You’re alright,” Sascha murmured into the girl’s hair. “You’re back here now.”

Nora sniffled again. “I don’t wanna… do complex thinking.” She brought a hand up to her face and wiped something on her jeans; she had been crying while in her previous state.

She continued, still in the same child-like tone. “I just wanna… be a cat… and think of cat things… all the time…”

Sascha hid a smile, patting Nora’s arm rhythmically. “Which cat would you like to be?”

“A really fluffy one. Like that Minuet cat, with the fluffy tail.” Nora’s mouth twitched a little. “I’m not even… a cat person. I like dogs. Small dogs.”

“Come.” Sascha wrapped an arm around Nora and led her to the bed. “Come. Rest now. You’ve done a lot for the day.”

Nora curled into herself, beneath the blue blankets, until all that was visible of her were messy tufts of hair sticking up onto the pillow.

Vullox watched Human-Sascha swipe through Human-Nora’s phone and set it down on the little table near the bed just as a man’s voice began to speak from it:

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much…”

-x-

Sascha led a highly-confused Vullox out of Nora’s room and gently shut the door behind her.

“She put too much on herself,” she said quietly. “She’s suffering from burnout, so I put her to sleep with some Harry Potter. It’s always been comforting to her whenever she was sick, so I figured this would call for that.”

“But - what is - what about the… red markings in her journal?”

Sascha nodded. “She was initially trying to take stock of everything—trying to see what she had to do so she wouldn’t go on worrying for longer than she needs to. I guess… it turned into a vent, and then it got too much for her. So she just broke down.”

“So… this - this burnout… it does this to her? This strong of a reaction? She seemed quite… catatonic when I first found her.”

Sascha sighed. “This time was particularly strong. But other times she just vents it in her journal, or to someone. She’s not too confident in herself either, so those words that I kept repeating seem to help her.”

There was a pause.

“Thank you. For calling me.” Sascha's eyebrows were drawn with worry, but they cleared quickly.

There were good reasons, Vullox knew, that the two friends had requested to be put next to each other on the ship.

This had to be the strongest one yet.

humans are space orcs

Like if standardization wasn't common in alien life, we just showed them how easy is it, if they just standardized things. It would be like-

Little human: We have to upgarde parts for spaceship thrusters

Alien: Ohh, little one, because your kind has only had FTL travel for 3 cycles you mustn't understand. A thruster from some other human ship wouldn't just PLUG into your space ship. You would have to find the exact same ship but with better thrusters, but oh, each thruster is especially made for the ship.

Little human: Each thruster isn't especially made for ships. we just have to find a thruster with a E20-1 plug because all human spaceships have a E20-1 port.

Alien: What?

Little human: Its really simple, ANY E20-1 plug fits into ANY E20-1 port

Alien: I know that ANY E20-1 plug fits into ANY E20-1 port, but ALL ships use the E20-1 port

Little human: Yeah

Alien: I-i-i still don't understand?

Little human: its standardized.

Sixth Fucking Sense Apparently

So humans have a funky little sixth sense for when someone/thing is looking at us and honestly wtf.

So an alien spy is trying to get human info getting progressively more concerned when the human they're tailing keeps looking around and acting like they know the alien is there. Maybe it's an alien species renowned for stealth and no other sentient in the galaxy had ever been able to spot them so at this point they're double checking themselves and going insane.

At this point the human's figured shit out and so they lead the alien into a trap much to Sneaky McSneakfuck's dismay and confusion.

So eventually humans hold a press conference about the whole stalker and the galactic federation or whatever it would be called is like:

GF: How in the dick shitting fuck did you know they were there??

Human: felt them watching me.

Gf: felt them fucking What.

Alien: Human, has your species experimented with DNA and genetics?

Human: only recently, mostly trying to make hardier crops and cuter pets.

Alien: Oh, that would explain this? (Lifts up a ferret)

Human: Where did you get that.

Alien: It does not matter, but I am guessing your species made this?

Human: No, they are completely natural. They come from Europe and Africa.

Alien: *speaking to the ferret* Why would you need such a flexible body?

Human: Its their diet, they dig underground to find their prey, so they need their long, noodily body to fit.

Alien: Strange. I am guessing your dogs are the same, as in their diet causes changes.

Human: Nope, All the different species of dogs were caused by us.

Alien: Of course they were.

I painted and drew shaggy with watercolour :)

I love watercolouring now