Why Were You Put In A Psych Ward

Wish I could be committed to literally anything

One weird experience of transitioning is failing at ur assigned gender role the whole time and everyone constantly deriding you for it but then u come out and it's like we lost a beautiful gender conforming warrior today. Must grieve for my wonderful child who pissed me off by being ugly and weird since day 1

from “an inevitable entry”

found this journal entry/prayer i wrote on my tenth birthday, safe to say i have always been this miserable

losing appetite because you're sad is the worst feeling ever.

the more i think about it the more i realize that i truly cannot remember being happy for any extended amount of time. of course there were moments, but nothing long term. and although i’ve never felt happy for more than a day or so at a time, i feel it’s absence constantly.

Everyone is rightfully tired of my shit I wish I could curl up into a little ball and shrink until I disappear

“sorry i didn’t mean to dump that on you”

brother i would climb the tallest mountains and swim to the deepest depths for you. every time you smile i wonder if anything could be more beautiful and every time you laugh it’s like an orchestra of joy. of course i’ll be here to listen. i love you bro