Introductions!

How are you supposed to just get up and go to school and go to work and come home and make dinner and fold the laundry and not want to kill yourself the whole fucking time.

high on anxiety my thoughts make no sense and too many too fast wanna find a way to get a gun and shoot myself or I'll just try od-ing when I get home

i hate this I hate this I hate this

I need someone to just talk anything and random nonsense to or I feel like I'll explode maybe im just overwhelmed but I'm also really pissed today

fuck people I hate them I hate them all

i don't know what I wanna do I don't know what to do I wanna just spill blood or random thoughts

vaguely religious thoughts are back, drop all friends when school is done, break up with partners, (try to) get a job, kill self before 2026.

“I feel like a loser without any future

cut open my head

and rip out the tumor

you make me wanna fucking end it sooner

let me respawn like a first person shooter”

i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back i want him back

i feel like I'm losing my mind the more days that go by without a response from him

it's affecting how I'm treating our other partner

it's affecting me responding to others

i swear im losing my mind, I just want him to come back. I fucking hate his mom for grounding him for so long. why does she have to do that. fuck her. i just want my boyfriend back before I end up offing myself.

when in depressive pissed off state

just listen to black metal

im.fucked. I'm fucking fucked.

mom went through my room to look for something and found my box. of all my razors. AND FUCKING TOOK THEM.

she left a note of telling me to talk to her but how do I explain this shit!? how do I explain why I cut!? i don't even do it for normal reasons or depression at this point.

what do I say. oh yeah, I cut just for the hell of it? out of habit because I'm addicted? for the blood and scars? like yes, I do it when I'm upset and/or depression too, but not even I know why I do this anymore!?

“I love you.”

No you don't.

he's more worried about his friend after they said "I gtg" and like. okay.

i like to think i make it obvious how im generally doing.

guess I really don't mean shit. :)