decrepitasylum

Latest Posts by decrepitasylum

I swear so much has happened these last 3 days that nothing feels real, and it's not even bad stuff, just very eventful days and it's leaving me very floaty and confused

it feels like I haven't stopped to take a break or take in anything fully

hate that I'm 19 and done with high school now

gotta actually find a job, especially if I plan on taking a gap year or not going to college at all

2nd degree burns again but this time its from a sunburn. it fucking hurts because this time its blisters unlike a few years ago when the er doctors just cut away the skin (I casually set my hand on fire)

sometimes I just imagine cutting my lip, like dragging the blade across my lower lip. i don't know why, I just do and I'm very very tempted to try it.

you don't care you don't care you don't care about me. I told you. I told you and you only acknowledge it with a "oh" before changing topics. what's new. nothing's fucking new cause you don't care about me. you'll respond with the same thing if I told you I'll be bleeding out on the bathroom floor tonight.

its in my head that everyone hates me and will ignore me when I'm in an episode because that's what fucking happened today. i was right im always right about this, it always happens and I know it will happen. they will always ignore me. they don't care, they will always choose each other first before me.

wanna cover myself and the bathroom floor in blood.

"ill need your essay by 3:15 or you'll have to spend time after"

fuck off fuck off fuck off I leave at 130 you cant make me stay. you can wait until fucking midnight when I turn it in. you can fucking wait.

vaguely religious thoughts are back, drop all friends when school is done, break up with partners, (try to) get a job, kill self before 2026.

Screaming at the top of my lungs

"I fucking deserve this"

"Baby was it worth it?"

Guess I wasn't worth shit

i don't think you get just how much I need A back. i needy my lover back.. I need him to come back. i need to feel okay again. i need him.

My ideal body is covered in scars but apparently that’s not an acceptable body goal

mind is being vaguely religious again

i love my boyfriend but I can't stand the thought of being perceived or seen currently. I deleted the photos I sent him last night this morning cause I couldn't stand it.

that sounds so bad. im sorry I just want a place to bee without having a feeling of constantly being watched and perceived. I'm sorry I just want a place to ramble and vent and whatever. oh god I feel bad I'm bad I'm bad I'm a liar i feel like a liar

brotha, shut up shut up quit telling your boyfriend you basically have a secret account

i wasn't even aware of that and now I'm very terrified for my account lmao-

nice weather now means once in a while room wasp

is it safe to take like.. 8 year old dietary pills you found in a drawer? they've never been opened before and im considering it..

also, they're huge. wtf.

debating to post on my art blog but it's sh art. like, I dunno man, some irl's follow that account.

can I really call this crying? when all that happens is my eyes well up with water and only one or two tears fall and they don't even make it far before it stops.

why do I barely bleed. I hit deep styros again (wouldn't say baby beans even though I think I saw a few)

and it's barely bleeding or dripping. why does this happens with all my cuts.

tha ks for ruining my night mom

now I wanna put on my shoes, grab my blades and walk down to the park to just fuck shit up

genuinely want a skateboard and learn how to to do but like, I'm too fat and out of shape for that.

I try to listen to his favorite artist (citizen soldier) and I jus can't. i just can't. i can't listen to music like that without getting pissed off, cringing, or like I'm gonna throw up. i love my bf but I hate that artist.

i wish he didn't go to bed at 8 (7 my time) cause now I'm just lonely and bored.

found out bf now has a tumblr through my other blog (he followed it)

better hope he never stumbles onto this side and find this account