You’re So Pathetic. Look At Yourself—every Bite You Take, Every Excuse You Make, It’s Proof You’re

WIEIAD: 04.01.2025

I was constantly so sooo hungry & ate like a pig 🐽

Brunch with my friend: 2 mimosas (324), slice of sourdough bread (222) with butter (25) and turkey ham (45), 2 hard-boiled eggs (143), ~10 red radishes (180), and some salami (131)

- Total: 1070

Snacks while hanging out with my friend: popcorn (118), cappuccino (59), half a croissant (106) with apricot jam (48), a pastry filled with vanilla pudding (341), and a salty pastry with seeds (322)

- I feel so guilty about eating the last two pastries… I really didn’t need to do that

- Total: 995

Dinner with my mom: slice of sourdough bread (222), with blood sausage (300), leftover radish (18), and a mimosa (162)

Evening snack: vegetable soup I made (83)

Grand Total: 2850 😭👎

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

I don’t feel proud about throwing my grandma’s food in the trash…. And pretending I ate it….

But I feel like I feel guilty if I eat it and I’ll feel guilty if I don’t…. Might as well not eat something that is carb heavy and fat heavy and I didn’t feel good after eating it yesterday.

I don’t know if I’m over explaining just to make myself feel better about throwing away her cooking…

But I did it so anyway. Going to go watch TV.

Whenever my boyfriend jokes about like being the best or anything like positive. I just go with it. Like heck, yeah, you’re the best! There is nobody better than you. I love him so much.

Reminder for anyone who might see this;

You don’t need a psychiatric diagnosis to be not well. The DSM-IV or the ICD-10 is literally just a checklist of symptoms and if you have enough of them you get the diagnosis (plus some gut feeling and expertise of whoever is diagnosing you).

But nothing changes. Your experiences as they are right now- are valid.

I (personally) am against self-diagnosis… because I’ve seen people get it super wrong. But if that works for you; great!

Instead of googling symptoms, google what you can do. Google treatment options, take-home therapy homework, journal, talk to your friends, connect with people, go for free counselling, move your body in ways that feel good.

Especially if you have an 3d… I’m sorry but you are betraying your body. You are ignoring hunger cues, you are ignoring your own needs. That has an effect on your mental health, your body remembers.

*Mutual reblogs something you posted*

Me: They still like me. Thank God.

I ate a lot again… but no binge! And I counted everything!

Breakfast: Egg burrito made with 2 eggs (152), cherry tomatoes (34), bacon (80), and tortilla (193) - with some ketchup (~22)

- Felt really good after eating this, but was missing the spinach (I ran out)

Snack: New years pastries my grandma baked (212)

- I love these so much and I’m really glad I ate some without feeling too guilty.

Lunch: konjac noodles (8), tuna (113), soy sauce (8), and some dried seaweed (30)

- 10/10 amazing yummy delicious

Snack: More pastries (106) and a fun drink (129)

Dinner: More pastries (318), with a salad (6), ham (123) and cheese (56) tortilla wrap (193), and some corn tortilla chips (158)

- I really regret eating the tortilla chips, I didn’t even really enjoy them.

Snack: Gummy bears (68)

- Tried these for the first time they have stevia sweetener. My only problem with them is that they are not nearly sour enough!! Why do they call them sour gummies!!

Total: 2010cal 👎

I also drank literally like 3litres of tea today because I was so hungry….

if ed, why no skinny