Captain Marvels Strange Little Family

Tim: yeah same here

Batfamily : horrified

Damian: traumatized

Talia: You know, I fucked your dad once.

Sixteen year old Tim, tied to a chair in the league of assassins headquarters: Can I leave now?

[Part 1 | 2]

Family Discussions

BFF: Elrond is such a dad, does he have children?

Me: oh hoho he has children

BFF: who’s his spouse

Me : oh you won’t see her she already went to Valinor (explains what that is)

BFF: oh so are they divorced or do they like exchange letters?

...

BFF: What about Galadriel does she have kids?

Me: Galadriel is Elronds mother in law

BFF: wait what!!!! How!!?!?!

An excerpt of tonight’s date convo

Me: this is my exact problem with MHA like yeah blood is gross and Japan has different sensibilities than us but you can not tell me Toga wouldn’t fucking book it to America and instantly gain a huge following

(we had been talking about vampires)

My datemate: just makes a cult

Me: exactly! Or like discrimination against quirkless people you can’t tell me they’re isn’t like quirkless cities dominating some niche part of the market (like Silicon Valley and all the gays moving to the same places)

DM (datemate): like basketball or or

Me: they make all the icecream

DM: XD all the dairy farmers are quirkless

Me: the cows just fucking smell a quirk and kick them

Love it ! Tag me pls!

A random au thought that I barely thunk up before splotching it on here.

So basically, Danny, Sam, and Trucker are doing some bullshit thing and somehow manage to create a whole ass world out of a tabletop game they were playing or something.

Basically DnD I guess.

But anyways, the three create this world so that they can play and do whatever they want. All three of them have legends about themselves from the npc's they's inhabited the world with.

Tucker is the Pharaoh of the night less desert, known as Duulaman. Freeing the citizens from the rule of the Tyrant god Abanoub and brought peace and prosperity to all across the land.

Sam is the Queen of Nature known as Terra, directly on par and sharing interests with Mother Nature. Her legend is that she freed the Forest of Vita and defeated a powerful void entity who sought to use the powers of Gaia to further its own ends for power. Joining forces with Mother Nature who almost fell to its corruption to end the void being once and for all.

Danny, known as Astraeus, unlike the other two, have two different aspects to his legend. Prince of the undead, and the constellation Star Child.

The first one as you should know, is basically Danny being the prince of ghosts, wherein in the world they made the ghosts (and extending too other undead), were disorderly and running rampant among the other races in the continuation of a war that should have longed ended. So, he rounded then all up and took control because the person who was originally supposed to be doing it was... indisposed.

(Cough, real reason is that Pariah Dark somehow got his ghostly hands on the world cords and was like "Hmmm, my son's world is awfully boring time to spice things up" and then shit happened.)

Which in turn, ended the eons long war between ghost kind and the other races.

Constellation Star Child is one he kind of got on accident, his friends made a joke about him being the spawn of death and time itself and being molded from a star. Which the npc's took seriously.

Also doesn't help that he goes out to explore the void and space around their world on numerous occasions to identify any threats that would require his attention (Which is literally just an excuse so he can go and explore space to his hearts content.). And whenever he comes back, it's like a shooting star falling down to earth.

So, after they've done all of their adventures and when it was time for them to just scrap this world and move on. They just, couldn't.

This world grew extremely on them during their time in it (Despite the unexpected inclusion of Pariah Dark), and they just didn't want to destroy it so they just, stayed.

Not like stay stay, more so they come back to it a lot more than they should. Fermenting themselves as these deities or god-like beings who protect and care for their followers or something.

They created a space for the three of them to converse, known simply as the council. A realm sitting on the plane of reality between the world and the void, basically heaven but not really heaven?

Anyways.

So, continuing on with this, the trio splits apart, a feud in reality carrying into their game world that caused Danny to just leave and explore the calmness of the cosmos so he can clear his head.

Sam went to Mother Nature to talk about it and seek aid about the recent crack in three's friendship.

Tucker just went to take care of his kingdom and confide in one of his trusted advisors, much like Sam.

This is when something unexpected happened. Danny never came back to that world, not as if he went back to his reality.

He just never came back.

Something is keeping him from going back, some powerful threat that he's keeping at bay with all of his might while out in the endless nothingness that is the void.

With the absence of his presence, a powerful void creature who managed to slip between the cracks of Danny's notice suddenly sees he's not there anymore for an extended period of time and has its sights on the core of the world, Gaia, and the two goddesses protecting it. Mother Nature and the Queen of Nature.

To distract the one known as the Pharoah, it managed to find what remained of Abanoub and gave him some of its power to combat Duulaman.

Abanoub worked behind the scenes, slowly rising back to his prime state of power and with the added power of the void entity, he managed to corrupt the roots of Duulaman's kingdom and sow discord.

Unfortunately for Abanoub, it couldn't exactly kill Duulaman, so it instead caught him by surprise and put him into eternal slumber.

The void entity who named itself Akasa, just like the previous one. Sought to use Gaia as a power source, but not just the core, but the two goddesses as well.

And with Duulaman and the Star Child of death out of the way, it was free to do so however it wished, though not to say it wasn't extremely careful when it enacted this plan.

Sam didn't know that Tucker was sent into eternal slumber, nor that Danny was never going to come back as soon as she hoped he would. So, when she went to the council and found that she was the only one there, she knew something was wrong.

Mother Nature was attacked while she was on a different plane, with such a coordinated attack on both her and Gaia by Akasa, Abanoub's army, and a recent addition, Chiwa the undead duchess' pawns. She unfortunately fell and became nothing more than power source.

Sam tried, oh she tried. But in the end, after a drawn out battle between her, Akasa, Abanoub, and Chiwa. She fell as well, with the added power Akasa gained from Gaia and Mother Nature, now with the added source of the Queen of nature. He was basically unstoppable.

That didn't mean all hope was lost, with the last bit of her power, she managed to seal all three of them to specific areas.

Abanoub, the Night less Desert. More specifically Tucker's throne.

Akasa, the realm between the world and the void. The council.

Chiwa, the blood lake of the eternal lady.

Their forces were still at large however, with the ghosts under Chiwa's command wishing to continue the war from eons ago. Abanoub's armies spreading across the world to take over their various kingdoms and be forced under his rule.

All two wished to free their master's, who in turn promised to free Akasa when they were free as well.

The rest of the races didn't take this laying down at all, immediately going to war and managing to hold their ground relatively well.

Both sides were at a standstill, with Abanoub, Chiwa and Akasa sealed they lost a signifcant portion of power.

Whereas with the Star Child gone, the Queen of Nature captured, and the Pharaoh of the Night less Desert sleeping, they couldn't push forward no matter how hard they tried.

So, what did they do?

They came together and summoned people from another world of course!

And who did they summon?

The Justice League.

Family Discussions

Sister: I’m hungry

Mom: do you want a coffee Maria’s coming in a bit

Me: which Maria ?

Sister: the one that makes tamales which Maria do you think?

Me: the one I like

Sister: that’s cold woman

Me: we don’t even know her

Sister : she makes food I don’t need to know her!!!

I desperately need the JL to not know what the hell is going on and never does!

Like the Shazfamily saw epic on interdenominational cable and everyone else is taking it so seriously!!! XD

Shazamily really liked the musical Epic, so they make references to it.

Switch(Eugene): *pokes Voltage with a fork * How does it feel to be helpless?

Voltage(Freddie): *uses a spoon as a microphone * A~a!

Switch: *hits again * How does it feel to know pain? I watched my friends die in horror.

Voltage: ✨~Aaaaaaa~✨

Barry: (⁠@⁠_⁠@⁠)

Lightning (Darla): So many heroes. So many tales. Give me one good reason why yours should prevail.

Ms. Marvel: *gestures at Superman* He’s got the mind of a genius.

Lightning: *starts dancing* Try harder~

Ms. Marvel: He’s pretty skilled with words.

Lightning: You can do better than that.

Ms. Marvel: He’s kind of funny?

Lightning: Ew

Ms. Marvel: *hits Superman on the shoulder* Never once has he cheated on his wife.

Lightning: *stops* Release him.

Superman: *doesn’t understand what’s going on*

Thunder(Pedro): *looks at the sheep toy that GL accidentally broke* You killed my sheep.

Hal: Oh, don't be dramatic, it's just a toy.

Thunder: My favorite sheep.

Hal: Dude?

Thunder: What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep.

Hal: Dude, calm down. It's just a toy.

Thunder: Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you rep?

Hal: *backs away and runs away*

Thunder: *flies after him in a T-pose*

Marvel: *with a bow without a string* Whoever can string my husband's old bow..

Batman: Husband?

Marvel:...and shoot through twelve axes cleanly. Will be the new king, sit down at the throne and rule with me as his queen.

Diana: What? Queen? Brother, what the...

Shazamily: (in chorus) Where is he?

Marvel: Waiting, waiting...

Shazamily: Where is the man who can string this bow? Woah

People: oh children are just so full of imagination!!!

Me at work: please please write something for your story anything at all I am begging you

Student: nah I can’t think of anything

Battinson the only Batman too 100% take to Tims coddling!

I mean he can’t really stop the kid.

Tim says he has to sleep? Well okay.

Tim says he beat that guy up too much? Well okay.

Tim says he needs to eat more? …. Okay but Tim need to eat with him.

Tim goes back to his own place… well Tim’s not actually his kid…. He’s gonna text him anyway.

Wait where are his parents??? Shit. Tims his now, tim chose him!

Tim try’s to be unhealthy independent and battison just cries. He’s not sure how but this is obviously his fault!!

say what you will about Battinson, he would never hurt a child.

he would frantically try to bubble wrap each and every one of them. he probably carries snacks for kids he meets on patrol.

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DC-Verse Theater part 3

“Alrighty next clip is a sibling universe of this universe so again most things are the same as yours with some slight differences.” Damian

Reacting to the DC- Verse

DC-Verse Theater

A Theater appeared in front of more than a dozen heroes. They were seemingly teleported in the middle of the day, none of their phones worked past the camera and the bats were slowly starting to tear the building apart. All of the doors were locked and none of them could open them, even with kryptonian strength.

The most concerning part was that they were all dressed as civilians.

Everyone in the room; Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, GL Hal, Green Arrow, Flash Barry, Aquaman, Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Cassandra, Damian, Duke, Barbra, Wally, Roy, Jon, Konner and Bart.

“Well we might as well raid the concession stand,” Wally could hear the other heroes eyes roll and can’t find it in him to care. Impulse beats him to the popcorn maker and screams as he opens the cabinet.

“Bart!” There on the floor hair tangled on the edge of door of the cabinet splayed out was a girl. She wasn’t breathing. “What the fuck what the absolute fuck.” Wally had seen plenty of horrible things in his job both of them but this entire situation unsettled him completely. “Barry I think you need to see this.”

The heroes knew better to crowed a body and allowed Barry and Batman to pass freely… they still stared tho. She looked short, half of her body still stuffed into the drawer making it hard to tell. Barry reached out and flipped her over. He need to check if maybe just maybe she was breathing. Flash stopped at his colleges intake of breath. Face up everyone could see a stained patch of her black hair was white.

Jason cussed up a storm.

Before Barry could begin touch her, the body arched up and gasped loudly.

“Holy shit back up man.”

Oh she was a live. That some how left the group with more questions.

She contorted, pulling her body out of the space. She looked …normal. Short, black hair, black eyes, tawny skin scarred. She stood up and stretched.

Clark blanched, “She’s breathing.” They got a few looks, “She definitely wasn’t breathing before.”

Jason couldn’t take it, “What are you?”

She stopped mid stretch, and shrugged, “I’m a chimera.” Her grin was all teeth.

“Well then let’s get this over with.”

“Get what over with, do you perhaps know why we are here miss -?” Journalist powers go!

“Well to watch the multiverse of course! Or at least that what I assume my boss wants me to do, can’t really think of another reason you lot would be here.”

“The multiverse? What’s that…” Clark asked.

The girl stopped and stared at him, “Tugh, you can all drop the act. I know who all of you are.”

“I don’t know-“

She pointed them out, “Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, yadda yadda yadda. Come on the faster we do this the faster you get sent home.”

The heroes started spewing outrage.

Diana spoke directly to her first tho, “Who are you? What is your bosses plan?”

The raven haired girl walked up to a seat and sat down, “Like I said I’m Chimera, and my boss probably wants me to show you guys the multiverse so you guys can I dunno learn a lesson or become stronger or some bull crap like that.”

Diana nodded, “And you have that ability? The ability to just see these things?”

“ I’d be a pretty bad Watcher if I didn’t!”

“Watcher?”

“Yup it’s like my title and rank, the infinite cosmos to watch and no one to share it with. “

Diana was growing concerned sure the girl knew things she shouldn’t but-

“So no worries about me spilling any secret identities, I’m entirely constrained to this dimension.” Her voice got softer annoyed, “Trust me I’ve tried.”

Diana really didn’t like the way that sounded.

“Oh and don’t worry about your world catching on fire without you it’s on pause till you get back.” The girl said flipping the screen on her phone, that presumably worked.

The heroes all looked around at each other, were they really doing this?

Roy was done, “As intriguing as this all is what if I don’t want to? Time being paused or not I have a baby at home to feed.”

She kept on scrolling, “Funny you say that as if we have a choice.”

“We?” Diana shared a look with Clark, she really wasn’t liking how this all sounded. Did they need to save this girl?

“Yup,” she made a popping sound on the ‘p’, “We, what part of this being my job do you not understand ?”

Diana didn’t have a response ready for that.

Jon floated over to the girl and sat down in the seat next to her, ignoring his dads whispers (and Damian’s yells) not to approach.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at our options.”

-

Note: Feel free to send me anything you’d like them to react to!!!

Happier than ever- Billie Eilish

Happier - Olivia Rodrigo

- Kim thinking/talking to Lloyd

< Lloyd to Kim

Lloyd and Kim were for as long as they could remember the same person, at least where it mattered. That is until they grew up, Kim chalking it up to a story a comforting idea of escaping poverty but now that he was reunited with Lloyd he was going to do whatever it took to get them their slacker dream!

Lloyd new he had been withdrawing into themselves too much. The barony was getting suspicious, not that they knew the real him anyway. He knew he should come out more if only to save Kim the embarrassment but Lloyd didn’t want to move. They were all better off without him, Kim too.

Kim wrapped his arms around their body in the only hug he could provide Lloyd.

-Don’t think like that Lloyd! It will all work out! I’m going to make us so much money!

Their body began to sway and hum

- How about we sing a song a song about all the bad things to help you let go of it all?

Lloyd smiled, he didn’t think it would work but Kim had been the only one to ever try. Even his personal servants who had cared for him, believed him and been on his side could comfort him. Left him eventually but Kim was different Kim wouldn’t leave.

When I'm away from you, I'm happier than ever

The barons family were all together, that is except Lloyd, when their discussion stoped. They were astonished, who knew Lloyd could sing?

Javier frowned to himself, how had he never heard Lloyds voice like this before?

Wish I could explain it better

What was Lloyd taking about?

Javier’s stomach twisted someone had hurt Lloyd! But when? They were always together ! A dark part of his mind laughed “always together” you really are a sorry excuse for a knight, you never even entered the bar with Lloyd before there are million different ways he could have gotten hurt! And. You. Weren’t. There! Let’s face it you only care now because Lloyds useful you’re as bad as the rest of them!

I wish it wasn't true

Give me a day or two to think of something clever

Julien looked at his parents in worry, what was happening? Lloyd wasn’t a sad person, what is up with this stupid song!

To write myself a letter

To tell me what to do, mm-mmm

Do you read my interviews?

Arcos shock his head yes yes of course he read every paper his son was in! He wanted to know how well Lloyd was doing now, but Lloyd never looked him in the eye anymore spent years calling him “baron” and not father.

When you (when you) said you were passing through

Was I even on your way?

It was true that they had never been a close family but wasn’t it better now that Lloyd had stopped drinking ? Why did he still run away from them???

I knew when I asked you to (when I asked you to)

Be cool about what I was telling you

Arcos felt a rush of cold hit him. How often had Lloyd asked him to talk begged him not to be angry so he could explain.. how many times had he turned his own son away.

You'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do (what you said you'd do)

Arcos felt tears prick at his eyes, he had thought Lloyd had been mature in understanding that being a Baron was busy work but it had hurt him all the same. His eyes widened in shock was this what Lloyd was doing ? Avoiding him, preoccupying himself in so much work he’s have an excuse not to talk with them ?

And I'd end up more afraid

Javier clenched his fist, afraid of what? Whatever it was he would deal with it for Lloyd, he’d do anything for him.

Don't say it isn't fair

You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable

The four stood there in silence, listening to Lloyds voice crack as he took a gasp of break. What, what have we done?

So if you really wanna know

Yes they wanted to know, Arcos needed to know how to make this right.

When I'm away from you (when I'm away from you)

I'm happier than ever (happier than ever)

Javier couldn’t stand it Lloyd couldn’t leave!

Wish I could explain it better (wish I could explain it better)

I wish it wasn't true (wish it wasn't true), mmm-mmm

Julien was enraged! What did Lloyd have to be upset about anyway! He was the one who became a raging drunk and left him to pick up all the pieces!

I call you again, drunk outta my head

Going home under the influence

Marabella smiled fondly there had been times Lloyd had made sure to reassure her after his drinking sprees. Telling her exactly where he was and acting good for his past escorts. But of course he had to go to far and start throwing fights. Sigh.

I don't relate to you

I don't relate to you, no

Arcos felt the pain in his chest twist, his apology hadn’t been enough had it.

'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty

You made me hate this city

Did Lloyd truly hate their home so much ? Is that why he need so much money and go on dangerous trips to other places did he want to leave so badly?

And I don't talk shit about you in the bar

Never told anyone anything bad

'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything

Julien and Javier were astonished enough at that. Why wouldn’t Lloyd especially if he was drunk? Was Lloyd even while angry still looking out for their house’s reputation?

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

Arcos cried he didn’t know he didn’t know

Why didn’t Lloyd say anything

So don't waste the time I don't have

And don't try to make me feel bad

Why didn’t Lloyd confined in any of them?!?

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I'd have an empty line 'cause you never did

Oh because no one would have listened, no one would have taken his side. No one would have believed him

Never paid any mind to my servants or friends

So I shut 'em all out for you 'cause I was a kid

Arcos tried to stifle his tears, his oldest had only been a child. A child born a month too soon in a barony too poor to a mother without a drop of nobility to her name.

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

Made all my moments your own

Just fucking leave me alone

Marabella begun to cry with her husband, Lloyd hates us doesn’t he?

I started drinking a month ago

Lloyd must of written this song years ago. Was this perhaps why he started drinking???

Your friends are mine, you know, I know

You've moved on, found someone new

Arcos shifted his feet, Lloyd couldn’t possibly be talking about him taking in Javier could he? He had heard other nobles hurl insults about him replacing his first born even how Javier was much better than his hooligan first born but he had waved it all alway, Javier needed him.

One more son who brings out the better in you

He was talking about him then the Baron couldn’t understand hadn’t her raised Lloyd to care for the less fortunate?

And I thought my heart was detached

From all the sunlight of our past

Marabella felt sick they had begun to ignore Lloyd when Julian and Javier came into their lives but they had only hoped it would serve to have Lloyd stop his awful behavior. She had never thought it would hurt him so badly. The baroness had assumed Lloyd was simply angry about the family changing, but he wasn’t he was heartbroken.

But he's so sweet, he's so kind

Does he mean you forgot about me?

Arcos hadn’t how could he when he was always worrying about him! He just didn’t have enough time but that was beginning to fall apart in his head after all he had made time for Julian and Javier hadn’t he?

Oh, I hope you're happy

But not like how you were with me

Javier leaned onto a nearby side-table, is this why Lloyd had been so cruel to him as children?

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go

So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Arcos openly wept, “hush dear,” his wife patted his shoulder “we must see this threw to the end”

And do you tell him he's the most beautiful boy you've ever seen?

Yes the whole house had been very open with giving the children compliments, but when was the last time Lloyd had received one before changing?

When had anyone ever called Lloyd handsome?

An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean

Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?

Marabella collapsed in a chair next to her husband, “Arcos, Arcos when had been the last time we told Lloyd we loved him?”

And now I'm pickin' him apart

Javier understood how Lloyd would have been lashing out as a child now, how the both had been hating one another to look better in front of the Baron. But then why did Lloyd suddenly become close ? Why did he suddenly care for Javier? Perhaps he gave up on gaining familial love, burying the hatchet with Javier the only way he knew how, by not addressing the past at all.

Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart

Julian began to understand, and he begun to feel badly for his brother but still he was just so angry at Lloyd !

They looked at each other as Lloyds song finished.

What were they going to do now? And as they pondered it they could hear Lloyd sniffling to himself, as if he was picking up the pieces after breaking down.

Then a whisper to three of them, a yell to Javier’s ears they heard Lloyd speak.

“Huh I guess I do fell a little better now! We should do this more often lolz! Goodnight Kim, I love you.”

…

…

…

Javier’s hand broke the side table, “Who the fuck is Kim????”