Renee: Hey Dick, My Favorite Older Brother Who I Love Very Much And-

Due to my lack of post today, have some soft Batfam Headcanons

Some of these are mine, others I found

- All the kids have (and will) hide under Bruce’s cape. (Bonus if its everyone at the same time and Bruce is trying hard not to trip over an unseen arm or leg)

- Bruce is like a statue when standing. All the young Robins have taken to climbing him for various reasons (boredom, to get his attention, fear of a spider, ect)

- Jason is a culinary artist. Dick will burn cereal (god help him)

- Damian is four foot nothing and his two older brothers abuse the fact that they can pick him up or toss him onto a couch way too easily

- No one (NO ONE) can sneak up on Alfred. Its impossible. All the Bats have tried, and all have failed.

- Even though only the youngest kids live at the manor, every member of the Batfam has their own room with various belongings in case they need to crash. (Jason took the locks off the windows of his room so he sleeps at the manor way more than anyone realizes. Alfred knows, but says nothing)

- The Bats all have each other’s backs at ALL times. You can’t blindside one Bat because another one is already punching you.

- They take bullets for each other and then argue about it.

- You do not try and wake a Batkid. Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t care how peaceful they look. If you put a hand on them, you will be punched. (Bruce has suffered many bruises because of this). Daddybats is the only one who doesn’t because he can’t risk hitting one of his kids who comes into his room after a nightmare.

- Diana Prince is named Godmother to all the Batchildren in Bruce’s will. Alfred (of course) and Clark are both named Godfather.

- Stephanie runs an anonymous Snapchat for the vigilantes of Gotham. It involves lots of candid videos of Nightwing dancing and other Batkids falling asleep. The Snapchat is followed by almost every citizen of Gotham.

- Jason has been caught several times in public with his siblings by the paparazzi. So they decided he was a “bodyguard” for the Waynes. Of course, his appearance set off several conspiracy theories about Jason Todd’s untimely death, but he looks so much older now no one can be sure.

- Half of Damian’s closet is Dick’s clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, even most of Dick’s old clothes from when he was Damian’s age. One time, Damian took one of Jason’s sweatshirts by mistake. Everyone was too surprised to say anything and Damian was too stubborn to admit his fault. So Jason let him keep it.

- The other Bat guilty of stealing clothes is Cass. She regularly wears her brothers’ clothes, resulting in outfits with Dick’s shirt, Jason’s jacket, Tim’s sneakers and Damian’s scarf. (They think she does it to establish dominance, but she genuinely likes the way all the clothes combine to smell like home)

- Damian snacks constantly, even more than Dick. He’s a growing boy who burns off almost every calorie every night, so he’s eating a hole through Alfred’s pantry. Junk food used to make him sick, but he’s since gotten used to chips and cheese puffs and HOARDS them.

- Jason and Dick are HUGE. Both of them. Dick is 6'0" and though he is more on the slender side, he’s still hella built. Jason is taller by three inches, and much thicker (very much a tank). They unintentionally combine to make a very intimidating presence.

- All the batgirls have muscles that no one would BELIEVE. I’m talking full abs and bicep action. You can’t be skinny trying to throw someone twice your weight.

- Jason (like Bruce) is a softie when it comes to kids. His niece asks to paint his nails neon pink? Knock yourself out kiddo. On the other hand, Tim has no clue how to handle children. He was once left to babysit a kidnapped child while the police showed up and tried making conversation with the two year old about physics (it didn’t work out)

- Bruce has an open door policy for every young hero. No explanation needed. Just ask to stay the night and Alfred will have a bed ready for you in 20 mins.

- Damian and Duke binge watch Disney movies together and Dami will sing along if he’s sleepy.

- Barbara will roll her wheelchair over another sibling’s foot if they piss her off (she makes sure they’re not wearing shoes to ensure maximum damage)

(Sorry for the long post :3 feel free to add your own!)

- Cas

Activate your boops?

Boop boop

I done goofed up. I slept in until the afternoon on Wednesday. Took an energy drink at like 5pm the same day keep in mind I also have an 8 hour shift starting at 9am (Thursday) and I haven’t gotten a second of sleep and it’s 5:30am. I’ve got a long day ahead of me.

One day, Cass is poking around online and she gets a targeted ad for this costume:

So she buys it, because of course she does. Once she receives it in the mail, she puts it on, sneaks into Bruce’s bedroom and wedges herself in the top corner of his ceiling above his bed. Then she waits.

anyway, this is the story of how Bruce fainted and smacked his head on a nightstand—

Duke *about Tim*: Haven't seen him move yet but I left some coffee out and I keep checking, hopefully he'll get up and leave sometime.

Bart: I dumped a bunch of butter and cinnamon and sugar onto bread then toasted it and ate giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Bart: Tim almost set off the smoke alarm tho when his fell into the bottom of the toaster and we couldn't get it out lmao!

There are Monsters in the Dark

[Bruce waking up to Jason looming over him]

Bruce, bleary eyed: Jason? Why- why are you watching me sleep?

Jason: I need your help.

Bruce, groaning: What did you do?

Jason: Excuse you, I did nothing but be my perfect angel self.

Bruce, deadpan: Ah yes, angel and Jason. Two words that are basically synonymous. Well then, my angel child, I'm sure this can wait till tomorrow after I have had at least 3 hours of sleep.

Jason: It actually can't, because there is currently a monster residing under my bed.

Bruce:

Bruce, blinking slowly: Jason, you are 22. There isn't a monster under your bed.

Jason: Oh, silly me, let me just inform the MONSTER under MY BED that there is apparently an age limit on that sort of behavior.

Bruce: You can't be serious, Jay.

Jason: Deadly. Much like the monster under my bed. And as my dad it is your job to get rid of it.

Bruce: *Getting up and angrily putting his robe on* Alfred help you, Jason, if you woke me up at 4 am to kill a spider.

Jason: Firstly, it's not a spider, Bruce. And secondly, there is no need to invoke the name of our lord and savior, Alfred Pennyworth.

Bruce: *rolling his eyes*

[Bruce getting on his knees to check under the bed]

Bruce: See, there's no- F*CK! *Bruce slamming his head against the bed-frame upon seeing Tim dressed as the Joker under the bed*

Jason, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, I should have filmed that.

Bruce, wide-eyed looking at Jason: What is wrong with you?

Jason: So, so many things. But this right here, was genius.

Bruce: Tim! Get out from under the bed, now!

Tim: *Crawling out from under the bed* Sorry, Bruce. But that was pretty funny.

Bruce: No! It wasn't! That is the most horrifying sh*t you two have ever pulled!

Tim: What about that time in-

Bruce: And yes. I am including the incident in Shanghai.

*Tim and Jason grinning and high-fiving*

Bruce: No! No high-fiving! This is not a high-fiving moment! I could have seriously injured, Tim.

Tim, snorting: When? After or before you screamed and hit your head against the bed?

Bruce: *Unimpressed bat-glare*

Bruce: I'm returning you both.

Jason: Sorry, there's a no return policy on broken orphans.

Tim: *snorting and high-fiving Jason again*

Bruce: Stop high-fiving! This is serious!

Jason: Yeah, yeah, Old Man. Save the lecture. We're on a time crunch, we still have to dress Timbers up as Ra's and hide him in the Demon Brats closet.

Bruce:

Bruce: Why are you two like this?

Jason, shrugging: Blame it on the childhood trauma.

[Tim and Jason walking out of the room]

Bruce: Alcohol. I need Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

I’m talking ASL and now that I’ve learned the word throw and how to sign it I will refer to it as yeet from now on.

no but like in this scene is Bart is literally three feet away from the person destined to betray the human race, the person he's spent his entire life fearing and hating. He has to keep up the pretense of simply being a cheerful, energetic tourist from the future, while in actuality he’s here to find out all he can about his buddy Blue to prevent the Reach apocalypse. That’s why he was in Jaime’s locker in the first place. Not to steal a bag of chips, but because he needed to find out anything and everything he could about him.  

And here, where he’s listening to Jaime talk about his insecurities of being Blue Beetle, his expression actually betrays his emotions for a few seconds. It’s in this moment that he realizes Blue Beetle isn’t as bad as he thought, that there’s something in him possibly worth saving.

There’s been a kitten on my chest for over an hour and I seriously can’t move without waking her. If this is how I go then do be it.