My Family Insists I’m Kuzco, And My Husband Is Prince Caspian. The Worst Part? I Can’t Even Argue.

Being Bigender (to me) feels like swimming: someone mixed paint in the water, but you give no fuck at all. You. Are. Just. Swimming.

My first completed book

I've been writing since I was 6 years old. As in, actually trying to finish a book.

I never could.

Until one day, years ago, I finished one.

It was all about old Brazilian tales. Awesome stuff, right?

Well, I managed to make the worst job possible ever uper duper no.

It taught me ~so much~

And it made me see that your first book, most of the time, really will be trash.

If yours wasn't, more power to you. But mine certainly was

Maybe one day I'll go over it again and rewrite every little damn thing.

But the overall lesson?

I suck at writing in Portuguese.

My other language, Spanish, well... a complete disaster (don't even ask).

And English? Ok, I can have bad wording and a ton of mistakes and such, but I do find it way more fun to write. I think it does have something to do with the fact that I've been using more English than any other language since 2011, I think. As in, I didn't read a single fiction book (for leisure) in another language since 2010.

(I admit I struggle to read good fiction books in Portuguese now.)

What does that make me? A language nomad? A freak accident? Both of those things?

TCIK Original Book Update #4

Give your book time.

This is the best advice I can give, really.

With just a few days of... not working on my book, at all, and doing other writing stuff, one character changed and became completely different than what I was going for at the beginning.

Frankly, it's WAY better.

I think I'm also grasping now my main character's feelings and actions, too. At another update, I said she read as this foolish girl that I was beginning to hate with passion. Now, I think she's found her footing at last, and the dialogue I'm tentatively putting out makes more sense, feels more in character with her.

C&D Book Update #4

HOW I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING!

I've been spending what time I could spare fleshing out chapters 57+. I ended up having to add a 700-words-long chapter as chapter 58 due to some emotional milestones that didn't feel earned enough. And I ended up with the best lines in the whole book? Somehow? I had to write it like, 3 times. First it was all about a robbery, then I just didn't want to write anything on robbery anymore, then I started writing a whole different chapter. A bit difficult, but I managed.

Now I'm having a blast with chapter 59. It was mostly written already (I said that I finished the first draft in another update), but I had so much fun adding these little silly details. I still need to change two flirty lines that aren't strong enough... but that's what the 5th revision is, right? RIGHT???!!!!

I'm still working on chapter 59, and I think I can manage 40 too today. Only, 40 is soooo complex (on a planning perspective) I don't know how long it will take.

Well, sometimes I surprise myself and it takes like, 5 hours.

Other times, 5 days.

Just normal F me.

When people think I'm a man they treat me better than when people think I'm a woman.

It brings me back to that one time I was on this school show, acting as an old, male historical figure. I welcomed the incoming kids from other schools and taught them this one little song. We all had a good time. But some of them (mainly the adults) kept asking me: are you a boy? Or are you a girl??

Like, the hell should they care?

I had short hair, kinda deep voice, just a teen, but my voice was high enough and my face feminine enough that it made them doubt.

And does that even matter?

Yes, it does. Because when I tell people I'm technically male, they bite their tongues and don't say nasty shit.

And while being nonbinary myself (and I can't care less about what other people think of my gender), I can't help thinking:

What horrible world for my sister to grow up.

I wish we can all make it a better place for women, one day.

What are books but a fanfiction of reality?

Older Disney movies, too.

They were heavy on the marriage trope, as well...

Back when I dabbled in digital art many years ago! 🎨✨ I don’t do that anymore, though—those days are long gone! 😂

C&D Book Update #6

I've arrived at chapter 33.

I thought it'd go quickly from there... I was doing so good...

Now I've spent like, 3 hours trying to rewrite like, 5 sentences? Of course, it's dialogue. Of course.

I need it funny, I need it interesting, but it's coming as bulls.

But at least I already finished the first draft??

Letter to my young self

I saw someone doing this and I thought, what about me? How would I write it?

And then I realized I'd only write,

"Don't die."

Just that.

That would leave my younger self wondering, "wtf will happen that makes my older self say this???"

And really, that's all I needed to hear. Not fake words. Not fake touches.

Just a steady, linger a bit more.