I'm Still Waiting For Them To Get Back Together....

imagine bludhaven and gotham having a custody battle over nightwing

Gotham citizen talking to a metropolis citizen: anyway we have a fuck ton of heroes, Batman, Batwoman, signal, red hood, Nightwing, robin

Bludhaven citizen eavesdropping: I’m sorry what the fuck did you say

Gotham: listen pal you got a problem with me??

Bludhaven: yeah asshole, you ain’t the only city in Jersey and every hero in Jersey don’t belong to you get nightwings name out your filthy mouse

Gotham: I’m sorry? Nightwing?? Aka a bat. Yeah no we got a copyright on that shit

Bludhaven: he ain’t a bat dipstick HES A BIRD it’s in the damn name

Gotham: BATS HAVE WINGS

They proceed to tackle each other

Metropolis: bad time to say this I’m sure but New York was where nightwing was first scene right?

New Yorker: don’t bring me into this

do you think donna would kind of hold a grudge against jason on dick’s behalf ? like the whole killing people in a nightwing suit and everything

I know that canonically she, Jason and Rayner work together but in my heart of hearts I believe she would. But that’s just believe I believe Donna Troy would have beef with a wall if Dick bumped into it.

+ also Dick and her at least in the various teen titans/ titans runs I’ve read of them together confide in each other insecurities they tell no one else. I think she’d be furious that her boy was put in danger but also the autonomy? And identity issues they share yeah no.

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT FINAL LINE OMG EHAT

Dick is a pretty boy. Everyone knows it, except him.

There is an unwritten rule about not hitting him in the face, everyone follows it, (even from his time as Robin some people already followed this rule). His siblings when by miracle they train together. His team when they get together to practice strategies and fighting methods. Even the damned villains and evildoers know not to hit the pretty bird in the face.

Dick never finds it strange. Somehow, he thinks it's simply because people have learned that punching him in the face isn't really going to stop him, if they're looking to confuse him, hitting the back of his head is more effective.

It's not until a drug dealer accidentally hits him in the nose for the first time in years, breaking it, that he notices something strange. How could he not? The battle stops for a moment because his companions start yelling at him, telling him that his face is off limits, and the dealer apologizes.

Dick barely blinks and stops them, then goes to his apartment to clean up the blood, the pain not even bothering him at this point. That's why he doesn't understand why not only his team makes a fuss about it the next day, but they even call his siblings to tell them what happened. He's not even that hurt ??????

The only other person who doesn't make a fuss about it is Batman, who has punched Dick in the face enough times to find it odd. Nobody is happy with Batman upon discovering that fact.

It’s simple arithmetic

Me: queer

My favs: queer

Even if they weren’t before if I’m gay assume all my favorites are gay even if they aren’t

Occam’s homosexual

No tags this can just be sent thank you for the suggestions tumblr

Okay but I have questions?

Is it Arabic coffee or Turkish coffee?

And if it’s Arabic coffee with or without cardamom???

Talia is definitely a Turkish coffee person she also does the thing where she flips it over, swirls it and reads the meaning.

I think Ras would be an Arabic coffee drinker but he’s one of the puritans who likes his coffee light, kinda how they serve it in Saudi. Like the pale green one with a small plate of dates.

But there’s one thing I think is really funny

Listen Arabs don’t… really drink coffee alone in a full house? It’s just not really done.

You also don’t drink coffee quickly

Coffee is a period of time where you sit down and get all the gossip from your family members if you’re a matriarch (I’m talking elopements, marriages, divorces, cheating scandals with the Al ghuls probably all of that + murders, assassination attempts and or plans etc)

Can you imagine Damian moving to the manor and seeing Alfred the eldest member of the household serving people tea and then …. Leaving?

Or taking his tea by himself for a well earned break?

Personally if I was 10? It would freak me the hell out if my grandma was sitting alone having her coffee when my mom and various aunts and uncles were in the house.

Or my GREAT grandma omg no that’s just eerie

He’d be so confused?? Like wtf are you doing?? Or like how people have coffee with breakfast here instead of after??? Like you don’t move to the sitting room and have coffee with tiny bite sized desserts or dates? Are you okay? Why are you having a pot of coffee with your oatmeal?

In my Arab region (I can't speak for the others, but I'm pretty sure they have similar things. Add your stuff if you do!) Coffee time is kind of sacred and is tightly regulated with heavy traditional rules. Especially so for the male populace.

Coffee makes the man! (Literally, I can't stress this enough)

Men and women alike are trained from a very young age on how to make and serve their coffee. A coffee with a good colour is a bright sign for your guests, and the way you serve is very telling of you.

Doors are ALWAYS open for guests, and HUGE halls are prepared to accommodate them (they can reach hundreds, depending on your dad's popularity). A household's head is a very blessed man when he has children/grandchildren because he can brag about them by showing their serving skills off. Those children will be scrutinised and judged according to their coffee serving manners. It's a very integral part of a charming character's traits for us. So, parents, especially fathers, are very strict about this.

Aside from guests, families have daily coffee time for themselves, too! It's very respectful to serve your mom and dad coffee. So it's expected from you.

Considering Ra's personality, serving him coffee as a grandson would be a nightmare.

Imagine Damian refilling the finjaan again and again in front of an elegantly sitting Ra's until he gets it right? Imagine him waiting (while standing, maybe for an hour or so) for Ra's to finish his finjaan so he can refill it again? Imagine how LIVID Ra's would be when Damian accidentally fills the finjaan to the top (a message that says, are you satisfied, yet? Get out! In my region) imagine Ra's asking Damian to serve coffee for his villain allies?!! Arabs and non?? And imagine people getting to know and hear about him from his coffee serving, like a good Arab son, before they know him from his sword?

Also, when he finally lives in the manor and sunset arrives and Batman is sitting by the batcomputer, deeply focused, and then is surprised by a finjaan presented to him because it's coffee time?

Damian would be very confident and proud of his coffee making and serving skills he would expect from Bruce nothing but sipping and asking for a refill, because his father should know his manners.

Bruce would know nothing about this but would, of course, sip (not drink! Drinking bad!!!) without question, and will continue to accept and sip every. Single. Day before patrol without knowing what is happening but going along with it because he's pretty sure this is Damian's way of bonding.

Which is not really true because Damian is only performing his duty as a son. He never really understood the core meaning behind this tradition because for a long time now, the art of Arabian Coffee was only a skill that was expected from him and a part of showing good grace. But as days pass and the number of people being served coffee increases and coffee time becomes a routine before each patrol for the whole family, when dates and snacks and small talk and occasional laughter join in, the very meaning behind this tradition clicks with him, and he serves it with a smile.

Dick and the bats most recent chats (it’s canon dc told me) (pt1)

Dick & Jay

Unknown number: what did you do

Jason: no clue what youre talking about

Unknown number: Jason

Jason: yesssss

Unknown number: What Did you do

Jason: nothing you need to worry about

Unknown number: oh so the 40 missed calls from Roy and the 30 text messages from Kori are just to check in then

Jason: okay fine worry a little and meet me at the coord’s I sent you

Dickhead (how do you keep finding my number): Jason

Jason: what

Dickhead: why are you in Mongolia

Dick & Babs

Barbie girl: I hate everyone

Barbie girl: you’re all idiots

Hunk wonder: I’ll bring wine and takeout if you tell me what Bruce did

Barbie girl: why do you think it’s Bruce this time???

Hunk wonder: if it was Tim you’d call me, Jason pisses you off enough they’d be curse words, Cass isn’t doing something reckless against your advice so you’re not mad at her, Steph is with Cass today, and if it was the birds of prey you’d call Dinah

Barbie girl: …

Hunk wonder : I am a detective you know

Barbie girl: I’m blocking you

Hunk wonder: so no pho?

Barbie girl: fuck you and come over

Dick & Tim

Tim buck 2: asdfgjjklahahwkdbsbekskahajak

Big bird: honestly 10/10 keyboard smash

Tim buck 2: help

Tim buck 2: I’m metaphorically dying right now

Big bird: metaphorically dying?

Tim buck 2: don’t judge me

Big bird: what happened

Tim buck 2: I’m not saying this where prying ears may be present

Big bird: this is an encrypted line

Big bird: I don’t even know why I bother actually

Big bird: want to come over or should I

Tim buck 2: I’ll send you the location on your laptop

Big bird: this is a cypher in ancient Aramaic

Tim buck 2: get here quick

Tim buck 2 is offline

Big bird: Tim?

Big bird: of course

Bats on Christmas (where are they?)

Dick: with the titans, has been pleasantly buzzed since 8 am. Phone has been off since midnight. Ate his weight in Christmas dinner and candy. Will meet each of his siblings one on one every day after (Jason and him get shitfaced on new years) but currently his head is on Donna’s lap and his legs are on Roy’s and he’s in a constant state of almost sleepy bliss (no one is dead shush)

Jason: binging Xmas movies him and mom used to watch at his apartment. Alfred sent him a full spread (listen in my country we do turkey and fix ins for Xmas idk what Americans do on Xmas) and he’s just been enjoying a quiet day in a nice apartment (bc I refuse to acknowledge or accept anyone being ok with Jay not having a nice warm apartment. If Dick Gave him a safe house he bought with mob money or he actually kept his drug lord money idc he has a very pretty apartment idcidc)

Tim: with Steph and Bernard, they’re shit talking him to bond, him and dick will meet and exchange presents the day after Xmas and he’s panicking bc he completely forgot to buy dick a gift so the three of them are at the mall while Tim gets increasingly worried

Damian: mad he’s not with Dick, at the Kent’s instead. Got the most presents bc all his siblings gave him stuff and both Dick and Bruce bought way too much stuff

Bruce: doesn’t do anything for Xmas and hasn’t since Jason died. His mom was Jewish so until the kids it just wasn’t a good time for him (for obvious reasons) and now his kids don’t really come home so he had a very peaceful night in and unlike literally any other time Christmas is surprisingly quiet in Gotham.

Steph: has collected a bunch of embarrassing Tim photos and is showing and telling Bernard info Tim wouldn’t let be known on his death bed while Tim is panicking over dicks gift. She spent Xmas eve with her mom so now she’s just chilling bc she already bought Dick, Cass, Damian and Tim gifts so she’s safe.

Cass: with babs since her dad has to work they’re having a very small and quaint Xmas together but it’s nice and them

Alfred: actually goes to mass

I love her so much wtf

Genshin Impact | Photo of the HoYoverse team's resident cat

(From PlayStation Blog)

DC comics are so exaggerated to the point that very talented writers cringe writing fanfiction for it

Because what do you mean a human 170pound 5’10 man survived falling from a building by tucking and rolling

Or that same 170 pound man’s best PR being 1000 kilograms

Or like

How did a character break his back and within a year return to business as usual

Or

How does a 10 year old have more general knowledge of the world than most members of the justice league

Like?

I have seen so many phenomenal fanfiction writers struggle with the batfamily because in their mind 2 months of torture is enough to brainwash and mind control them.

Which like yeah….sure

Except that it’s not

Like canonically all of them can shake of torture for longer than that

Or like a near drowning experience or after holding their breath for 3-4 mins

Like that above human capability

But I fear

All of them can go for 7+ mins

The their stats are broken

Or like 2 characters will speak in a language and another character won’t know it.

Dick Grayson has never had a language he previously knew stripped away and they introduce a couple new ones every few years I’m like 80% sure we’re in the mid-20s early 30s for those.

Or

Crowbar sounds are triggering for Jason

Jason wearing a bomb helmet and using a crowbar as a weapon Todd

Character could instantly tell something was wrong with the other

…every member of the batfamily at any given moment

“I am numb I feel nothing focus on the mission I am numb don’t show anything focus on the mission I am numb I don’t feel anything focus on the mission I am numb I don’t-“

Like I love my angst

But Tim had his WHOLE fucked up Red Robin run and proceeded to go fuck it we ball after

Current Bruce Wayne meeting All Star Batman and robing Bruce Wayne

C! BW: …im- im sorry I must’ve misheard you bound to happen with the cowl… do you mind repeating what you said

ASBAR! BW: I don’t let Robin upstairs and make him hunt rats and bats for food in the cave

C!BW suddenly understanding why Jason kills people: … do. You. Now

ASBAR! Bat: yeah why?

C! BW about to turn into Joe chill and end that world’s Wayne’s:…. I see

Or

ASBAR! BW: I’m sorry what?? Did?? You?? Say??

C!BW: I gave Dick a hug and told him? I was proud of him

“He would not fucking say that” is a Schrodinger’s phrase when it comes to Batman. There is probably Batman run where he would say that. There is also probably a run where Batman would kill the other Batman for saying that.