I Like To Think That Dick Always Hugs Or Shows Physical Contact When He's With His Friends Or Family

I want a buddy cop style comic, but it is just Dick and Donna trying to keep their younger siblings and teammates out of trouble while trying to figure out which Wonder Twin Roy, Wally, Kori and Garth is in love with.

Every couple of issues are focused on a different group of siblings, teammates and potential core titans love interest, but every time you think one of the wonder twins are about to get the girl/guy they get blue balled by having to go save someone else. The other twin is laughing at them from the other side of the room while starting up the Zeta-beam.

They save the world like 5 different times and save thousands of lives but their banter the entire time is just them making fun of each other and their crushes.

Every single member of the Batfamily lies about their taste in music

Damian will claim that he only listens to classical music and that everything else is beneath him.

Damian will unironically listen to trashy Arab pop and the absolute worst Bollywood songs known to man (Dick introduced him to them and he hates the fact that sometimes he gets Sheila Ki Jawani stuck in his head during missions)

Tim will put on the most ear grating hyper pop you've ever heard and claim with full chest that these is the peak of humanities capabilities with music (Damian, Jason and Steph have all tried to kill him for this take) He will also play stuff like the living tombstones and sing it obnoxiously loud when he's working on the computer.

Tim however loves his 90s grunge and it's all that's playing in his headphones. (think nirvana, pearl Jam, Melvins, Alice in Chains etc) He has tracked down so many shirts and concert posters and watched every bit of content from the older shows.

Jason will claim he only listens to east coast rap, biggie, Nas, Jay etc and maybe some older metal. He will fight you on east vs west coast music, there will be weaponry involved.

Jason likes rap music... he unfortunately prefers west coast rap and has listened to no vaseline like 500 times. He will deny this till the day he dies...again. (Dick knows and threatens to tell Steph)

Steph will steal the aux and play Taylor Swifts greatest hits until one of the Boys threatens mutiny. Every single one of the bats has had style stuck in their heads during a stakeout at least twice. She will claim that the only rap song she can tolerate in Eminem and the 7/11 is Beyoncés best song.

Steph is an underground fan, think the dude selling mixtapes on the subway type shit. She also unlike Jason genuinely loves East Coast Rap music more than anything and knows every single wu-tang clan song by heart, same with Biggie. Not only does she love the music she also spends any free time binging those "history of rap and its consequences" videos and has been a firm believer that P.Diddy had a hand in a lot of the Death row records well...deaths.

Cass, well everyone thinks Cass has really good taste bc its Cass and she has zero flaws (don't @ me) she never takes the aux and will usually listen to her music while she's chilling or doing stretches. None of them have heard or seen a single one of her playlists except Duke.

its all 2010s top 40s pop music and like the trashy kind too, Beauty and the Beat, Kesha, Katy Perry. It's her turning of her brain time and she will be straight vibing to Rude! by magic or Boom Clap or Shower. she has shown this to Duke, smirked and told him that even if he tried to tell anyone they wouldn't believe him.

Duke is the only one who doesn't... lie. He just hides a few things. Lies of omission don't count as lies when the bats will lie to you about what they had for breakfast, while they are visibly eating breakfast. Duke says he listens to everything and he does. Literally everything. His patrol Jam is offensive bc it with start with Norwegian death metal and immediately switches to "like a G6" followed by kendrick Lamar and then descendants Disney channel movie music.

Bruce... Bruce is just weird, everyone asks him and gets a different answer. Bc he doesn't... like music. Like at all. It's all noise, his mother played instruments so he learned like 14 and he hates how they all sound. He just like vague batwings fluttering in dead silence.

Dick Grayson will obnoxiously play top 40 and radio music religiously around the bats. He claims it's the best music for rhythmic acrobatics and trapeze work and that true! Jason hates this kind of music the most, it's formulaic and holds no substance and drives him insane.

But Dick only listens to that music when he's moving, flipping doing high energy stuff. When he just wants to chill? This man has the most depressing music taste you've ever seen. You know that sad song from ur favorite artist that you can't listen to without crying. Yeah that's his bread and butter. Every single song is just flat out tear inducing, some of these bands have like 100 listeners and he is one of them and it's just their saddest song that reads like suicide note. The titans have conducted an intervention bc its just... concerning. He just thinks it's neat!

How I picture Brucie Wayne’s birth in the battinson universe.

8yr old Dick Grayson: so B I gotta ask

Battinson: hn

8yr old newly Robin Dick Grayson: do you really think that people don’t suspect the crazy Rich secluded billionaire who disappeared for years to be Batman and then takes in a child only for ‘I’m vengeance’ to appear with a child at the same time.

Battinson: hnnn

DG: nonono like no offense but like don’t you think it’s a little …obvious… like marvel movies exist..

Battinson: hnnn what do you propose I do then?

DG: duh you gotta make sure it’s impossible for you to be Batman

Battinson: hmm so I should plan an event where we are both spot-

DG: get drunk and swim in a fountain

Battinson: ???

DG: if Bruce Wayne is dumb he can’t be Batman

Battinson: Bruce Wayne is the head of one the most successful companies in the worl-

DG nodding along: yep all thanks to the amazing help he hired to do the work for him while he search for the cure to polio in the Sahara desert

Battinson: the polio vaccine already exists Dick

DG hand placed on forehead like a fainting damsel: oh it’s so sad about poor Brucie you know, dumb as a rock that one. Didn’t get an ounce of his parents intelligence thank god he got lucky enough that the people he surrounds himself with are loyal to his parents and aren’t stealing money from him.

Battinson: Robin I’m really not followi-

DG rolling his eyes and grabbing B’s face: I’m telling you to play himbo with heart of gold. If people think you’re sweet and pathetic, they’ll (A) underestimate you (B) not question why you disappear for months (C) pathetic good looking idiots get sympathy points.

Battinson: and how would you know this

DG who got adopted by a billionaire who won’t say no to anything he says bc puppy dog eyes: …….

Battinson: …fair point

DG: worlds greatest Detective he says

Dick ‘has been a barista like 90 times over 50 years of comics Grayson’ can absolutely prepare whatever drink you want him too. He can also guess/ judge what your go to order is.

With the bats

He can guess what WILL be there favorite even if they’ve never tried it before

——————

Bruce on 13 mins of sleep fucking exhausted but even Alfred isn’t giving him shit bc they HAVE TO crack this case: hrn

Dick plopping a take away coffee cup in front of him: DRINK

Bruce goes through a quick is this my son or a shapeshifter, mind control, demon situation before deciding fuck it we ball and taking a sip: this… tastes different

Dick: yeah

Bruce ‘actual freak who grumbles when coffee isn’t bitter enough’ Wayne: this is good

Dick: yeah it’s a red eye

Bruce: hrn

Dick: yeah no problem B

——————

Jay (just got done fighting aliens and needs to get back to whatever he was doing before) : get me a Drink as black as my soul

Dick: sure

Dick brings back the drink from the kitchen

Dick: strawberry iced matcha with oat milk right here for you

Jay: what the fuck Goldie

Dick: I saw you sobbing at the notebook a week ago don’t play tough with me and don’t fucking lie we both know you like tea more.

Jay sputtering: Don’t PLAY TOUGH? BROTHER I PUT A BUNCH OF HEADS A BAG AND MADE THE UNDERWORLD INTO MY BITCH

Dick: yes yes Jay now go drink your tea and run along

(It is the best fucking thing he’s ever tried, bought a matcha making kit as soon as he got him, has denied it ever since but Dick doesn’t buy it and keeps making him the drink)

—————-

Tim:

Dick:

Tim:

Dick:

Tim:

Dick: you’re a heathen

Tim: proudly

Dick: fine take the monster and go OH MY GOD

————————

Steph wincing at the taste of a latte: there’s something seriously wrong with this place, no matter how much sugar I add it’s just bitter

Dick: yeah Steph it’s bc they burn the beans to get more use of em

Dick: you could add all the cream and milk you want it’s not gonna do shit

Steph: ugh this is the only coffee spot on my campus in so screwed

Dick pulling out a takeaway coffee cup: don’t worry I brought you some from home

Steph: Jesus fuck this is delicious

Dick: upside down sweet almond latte with caramel and double espresso

Steph: should’ve married into the family with Tim god damn

Dick: Cass is still an option

Steph: what

Dick: what

——————————-

Dick:

Duke:

Dick:

Duke:

Dick: you’re one of Tim’s heathens aren’t you

Duke: just because I like energy drinks more doesn’t mean I don’t LIKE coffee

Dick grumbling: should’ve left you with the cops

Duke: what was that? I didn’t hear you

Dick thrusting the coffee cup at him: just take it, end my suffering

Duke: oh damn that’s good… what is it

Dick:…. It’s Vietnamese style coffee

Duke: fuck I might I have to switch, Jesus that’s good

Dick vaguely smug: another victory

—————

Dick: hey Cass

Cass: busy… like you should be

Dick: yeah, yeah I have like 6 mins of free time left before I have to meet up with Robin (Tim) for an op

Dick: anyway i made you strawberry hot chocolate

Cass: this isn’t coffee

Dick: it has 180 milligrams of caffeine

Cass: how?

Dick: don’t ask difficult questions

Dick: where the hell did she go?

Dick: is this how everyone else feels about us?

——————

Damian: I want coffee

Dick: you’re an infant, no

Damian: IM 15 GRAYSON

Dick: a certifiable baby

Damian: I hate you

Dick: you would hate me more if you stunted your growth and ended up Tim sized

Tim: HEY!

Damian: this is true… apologies Richard

Everybody just picks him up, like a couple of grapes

Random headcanon number 20207483927

-Dick doesn’t spy on his families teams

Because he doesn’t need too

They’ll either tell him what’s happening

Or their teammates will

He’s friends with 80% of them anyway

Jason Todd was honest to god on a team with Dicks Ex who still adores him and starfire /j

No but really Roy and Kori 100% have doxxed Jason’s entire life to Dick Grayson

A) bc I will ignore any canon where these 3 aren’t close

B) Kori has never had a filter ever

C) Dick absolutely has indoctrinated the fab 5 into mission reports and now they feel weird without a debrief

D) Roy would find giving Dick and ulcer over the stupid shit his brother does hilarious

E) Roy would find giving dick and ulcer over the stupid shit HE does so so so fulfilling (revenge)

Damian is on the Titans.

No matter what titans generation of titans it is they’re responding to Nightwings status report request, fully detailed in MLA format with a reference list following APA 7 guidelines

Dick does not have to worry about young justice despite the fact they are very much NOT snitches bc Tim absolutely calls Dick and Doxxes his entire life story to him once a week minimum

(See Tim telling Dick random shit in the comics causing him to lose his balance and fall a compilation Im sure exists)

Both Clark and Wally are on the justice league. Bruce’s every dangerous move is reported to Dick via Clark and all his stupid ones are reported to Dick via Wally.

No matter how weird Dick and Babs relationship (on again, besties, off again, not talking etc) is she’s absolutely telling him either via concise email or 7 hour long sip and bitch session every single thing that happens not for help but bc ughhh wtf is happening.

Now frustratingly the same is not reciprocated

Bc

“Donna or Garth would kill me” -Roy

“*graphic details of sexcapades to distract from question*”-Kori

“Nightwing is busy” -oracle (babs just leaves when asked as a civilian)

“I’m sorry it’s just so hard to not talk to him okay?? He’s so nice” -Jon during supersons

“He’s my friend too, I can tell him what I want” current jon

“Listen he barely talks to me as it is I’d rather he still come to me with issues and insecurities without worrying his father will hear it” -Clark

“If you think I’m saying shit to you, you’re in idiot, if anything was wrong and I told you you’d make it worse go fuck yourself” -Wally

(OG Bruce Wayne hater of titans. him and Roy do fight over this title at the titans new years. Wally thinks Roy lost his place bc he found a new bird to be mad at the bat over so his timeline should shrink. Roy thinks this is bullshit bc now he hates Bruce for reasons of bird^2)

Guys okay I’m looking for fics and I’m desperate

-dick Grayson

-not batfamily

-little to no Batkids involved (some Jason but not the focus)

- titans

-titans

- titans

GIVE ME THE CORE 5

GARTH WALLY DONNA ROY AND DICK

GIVe ME RAVEN AND DICK

I need you all to understand that Donna Troy and dick Grayson is adoration boring on fanatical

They

L

O

V

E

Each other sm and they need so much more fanon about it plz god

The bat family is split between Dog people and cat people and I refuse to elaborate

That’s a lie I love elaborating

Bruce:…cat person for obvious reasons I mean come on he’s had a will they won’t they with Selina Kyle for like 50 years atp

Dick: Dog person listen Dick likes cats but Dick is the one who sits on concerning thin ledges and moves like he has no bones cats he and cats are too similar. + dogs are more excitable, energetic and affectionate and after dealing with Bruce Wayne for damn near 2 decades you become allergic to any form of open communication and one must try to acclimate (like that girl on TikTok with the carrot allergy)

Jason: wants to be a dog person Is a cat person. He was always a cat person and but he lies and says he used to like dogs until he got blown up (he will not elaborate on what a dog or cat preference has to do with this he just likes bringing it up) he can barley keep his team from being arrested he is not bringing a dog along with him anywhere. He also just…isn’t their biggest fan like he’ll warm up to 1 dog and love em but doesn’t mean he likes all dogs

Tim: dog person. They’re useful, friendly and cute (they can be used to track peoples scents and he’s a professional stalker)

Damian: Damian Georg is an outlier and should not be counted

Steph: Cats because she got bit by a guard dog as a kid and now is a little more weary. Also she likes to have a cat napping on her lap when she does any sort of work bc then she’s stuck there and has to do the work bc she can’t wake up the cat. Also if Steph had a pet it would be a cat who looks eerily similar to her and I will not elaborate (for real this time)

Duke: Dog person, he seems like the type of dude to have 5 identical looking dogs and take them out on walks sequentially so that everyone thinks he’s been walking the same dog for 5 hours. Idk Duke started a cult he likes chaos, cat people don’t put effort into making peoples lives hell bc they don’t put effort into anything (except revenge)

Brought to you by I’m homesick at Uni and I can’t bring my cats and dogs over bc my building doesn’t allow it.

Baby pictures of the now adult cats enjoy

Dick Grayson wanted to be a contortionist when he grew up rotating his head 180 degrees while keeping body in the same crawling position on the ceiling: what's wrong... are you scared of me

*most creepy Annabel-esque laugh you've ever heard god abandoned us as soon as it was unleashed*

Robin whose mouth didnt move:

Goon:

Villain:

God:

Heros:

Batman: you see why he has a leash now?

Robin bats eyelashes thru mask:

Goon: ... I... can the whites move?

Batman: usually no

Goon: then... how?

Robin:... 7

Goon: wha? seven what?

Robin beginning to move on the ceiling: 6

Robin: 5

I love it when people draw Robin!Dick as a little creepy unsettling child like yes he embodies the blue eyed stare and moves in ways humans were never meant to move in and he never really grew out of it. Like the bright colours, the flips and the quips are so deceiving he’s so unsettling in the way no other Robin could quite replicate. I just know every criminal breathed a sigh of relief when he finally outgrew the tights.

"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.

"I feel dead inside all the time and nothing helps!" - character who does like, regular introspective thinking and is aware of the concept of mental health.

"Leave me the fuck alone I'll be fine once I get over my stupid shit." - repressed character.

"It's fine I'm just having an Empty Time. What? Yeah, empty times, you know, when everything is like bzzzzzz in your brain and you don't shower for two weeks. Why, what do you call it?" - ooooughhh now we're talkin