Mmuscles​:

colemontgomeryx​:

Cole’s heart leapt into his throat at Adam’s pleading tone. He wished he hadn’t said anything, and just let Adam go on believing that he’d gone away to a commune. But Cole had never been able to lie to Adam, nor did he ever want to. He knew that, although it was entirely too much to understand, Adam would want to know. Maybe he even needed to know, so he could stop punishing himself for ‘leaving Cole.’ But only when he was ready, only on his own terms– Cole felt a pit in his stomach as he remembered Max’s description of the Mindflayer and how it possessed its victims. Something akin to rage flared up in Cole’s body thinking about it hurting Adam, but he buried the feeling for now. That was something to ask Max about later.

Meeting Adam’s eyes, Cole shook his head. “Please stop apologizing,” he said, brushing a stray tear off of Adam’s cheek. It made his chest physically ache to hear the pain in his voice.  “I don’t blame you. I know it wasn’t your fault.” Cole’s eyes welled up again as he offered Adam a smile. “I’m just so glad you’re here, that you’re okay. I love you. I always will.”

Cole paused again, barely resisting the urge to kiss away his questions. “I might have some answers… about what happened. We can talk about it, whenever you’re ready,” he promised, taking Adam’s hands and squeezing them for comfort. Distantly aware that they were still on the Richards’ front porch, but unwilling to leave Adam, Cole tugged on his hand. “Want to come over to my place?” he asked, knowing that his house afforded them more privacy, as it was only him and his mom. 

Adam wasn’t ready to process something like that. How could anyone ever be? Being faced with your own mortality - knowing that you’d died - it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t possible. Adam couldn’t believe it because it just couldn’t be real. Dying and coming back three years later wasn’t something that could just happen. 

He knew it had been summer, the last time he really remembered anything. Adam had been working at the pool with Billy Hargrove and Heather Holloway. He remembered talking to Billy after work one night, something he wouldn’t usually do, and then... then mostly nothing, until he woke up in the woods a few days ago. A brief flash of a fight with someone, maybe. Adam didn’t remember. 

It was the not remembering that scared him the most, besides the thought that he could have died. How did someone forget three years of their life? 

Before he could spiral too far, Cole was grounding him back to reality. Whatever had happened had happened years ago. Right now, in this moment, he was safe because he was here with Cole. And Cole wanted him to stop apologizing for leaving him. Adam leaned into his touch, choking back a sob when Cole forgave him. I know it wasn’t your fault. It didn’t fully relieve Adam of all of his guilt, but it did make him feel a bit better. “I wouldn’t have left you.” He agreed, slumping against Cole. “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t mean for it to.” Adam pulled him close again, needing to know that this was real just as much as Cole. “I love you too. I always have.” 

They could talk about it when Adam was ready. But... what if he was never ready? He hoped to be at some point, but right now, he just wasn’t. He had never been the sharpest knife in the drawer - his teachers had never accused him of being smart. But this just wasn’t something Adam could rationalize. He couldn’t understand it. Maybe Cole knew people who could, and maybe they should talk to them. Just... maybe later. Adam squeezed Cole’s hand, nodding his head. “Let me tell Mom,” He replied, pulling Cole with him to the front door. 

“I’m heading over to Cole’s. I’ll be back,” Adam promised as he ducked his head back inside the house, ignoring the panicked look on his mother’s face at the mention of him going anywhere. She was so scared he’d run away to the woods again, Adam knew. He hated that he’d ever made her worry that much. 

WHO: Adam & @scribblcs

WHAT: Please talk about your feelings <333

WHERE: Dr. Gabe’s Office

Therapy wasn’t something Adam had any experience with. Neither of his parents had ever seen a therapist that he knew of, at least not while he was growing up. It just didn’t seem necessary, and even now Adam wasn’t sure it was going to be a good fit for him. As much as he was in touch with his emotions, he wasn’t used to sitting around and talking about them with anyone except Cole, Chrissy, Beth or Jack sometimes. Talking to a stranger about his life just felt weird. 

But after everything that had happened with the carnival, Adam knew he probably should visit Dr. Diaz. It had been mandated when they had all begun emerging from the forest commune, but Adam had been successfully avoiding his appointment for awhile now. But with the blackouts? Adam needed someone to help him figure out what was happening, and help him process the idea that he’d done horrifying things whether he meant to or not. 

When he entered Dr. Diaz’s office, he offered the man a tight smile, avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he felt opening up to him at this point, honestly. With a glance at the couch in the room, Adam frowned for a minute. “Am I supposed to lay down?” He asked, basing this entirely off of every movie he’d seen with a character laying down and baring their heart to the guy with a notepad. “Um, I’m Adam, by the way.” Adam introduced, although he was sure Dr. Diaz had already been briefed about him or something, just like Peter had been. He stuck his hand out to shake, waiting to follow Dr. Diaz’s lead. 

thequeenofhawkins​:

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Chrissy Cunningham & @goldenboyrichards​

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓: Just ur annual skeletons talking about their time at the commune!

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: The Richards Residence

Chrissy had been home for less than a week. Five days. Five miserable days back at home. It almost reminded her of why she had left already. In her head, Chrissy had always planned her grand escape, but that involved a cheer scholarship to Purdue, not getting high in a commune for the last two years. Two years she could barely remember. The memories were fuzzy, as if they weren’t actually her own. It was after breakfast, and a few choice words from Laura Cunningham, that Chrissy ran upstairs to her room and called the Richards landline. 

Thirty minutes later, she was walking up to the Richards house, and heading up straight to Adam’s room. “Your mom isn’t going to kill me if I close the door, is she?” Chrissy asked. She felt silly. She was a twenty year old woman, but she still felt like that 17 year old girl. As if she hadn’t really grown in all this time. 

If there was one constant in Chrissy’s life, it was Adam Richards. Childhood friend, Hawkins Middle Snowball date, ex-boyfriend. He ticked it all off. And somehow, they had even ended up in that commune together. She flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Can I ask you something? Do you… Do you remember anything from the commune?” Then she flipped on her side to look at him, asking what she deemed the most unfortunate question ever. “Was I really high the entire time?”

Being home was an adjustment. It had to be for all of them, Adam was sure. After all, reentering life in Hawkins after two or three years away was so confusing. So many things had stayed exactly the same, but there were little differences here and there, just enough to make home feel like a strange new world. 

That was why Adam had been happy to hear from Chrissy. If there was one person in this world besides Cole who made him feel completely at peace, it was Chrissy Cunningham. Although they’d never worked out romantically for some very obvious reasons, she’d always showed him nothing but kindness and acceptance. She was one of the sweetest people he’d ever met, and he was glad that they’d stayed friends over the years. When he’d found out she’d been gone too, it had made him sad. Adam had always hoped Chrissy of all people would get to make her escape from Hawkins. 

At Chrissy’s question, Adam shrugged. “Probably not? She’s just glad I’m home. I think she’d more worried about what I’ve done the last three years than you being in my room alone with me.” Mrs. Richards had taken it hard when he and Chrissy had “broken up,” but she still adored Chrissy and thought the world of her. Adam doubted she’d care about them being alone together with the door closed. 

Adam frowned, faltering at the mention of the commune as he laid down on the bed. “I don’t.” He admitted quietly. There was just...nothing. He didn’t remember anyone or anything the last three years, no pain or happiness or anything. That was the scariest part of it all, to him; especially after Cole told him that he’d...that he’d died. Because if that were the case, what did that mean about Adam’s lack of anything? That was part of why Adam couldn’t - and wouldn’t - accept that that might be what happened. Not yet. “I get flashes of the week or so before I must have left, but nothing after. What about you?” He turned to look at her, propping himself up on an elbow. “I don’t know, Chrissy. I don’t think I would have done that. But maybe something happened to us?” 

sinclairss​:

who: lucas & @goldenboyrichards​ where: the hospital cafeteria what: comparing notes

hospital food sucked, but he hadn’t eaten yet today and while he’d snagged a bag of skittles from the vending machine near steve’s room earlier in the day, the rainbow candies weren’t sustaining him hours later. lucas wasn’t even really all that hungry, but he thought maybe some of his sluggishness was because all he’d consumed in the last 12 hours was that pack of skittles and three cups of coffee. he paid for a cardboard-looking slice of pizza and some rubbery french fries and turned around. 

it gave him a little sense of déjà vu, actually. suddenly, he was fourteen years old, scanning the hawkins high cafeteria for mike and dustin and wondering if things might be different for him this year. he was fifteen and anxious about splitting his time between the basketball team’s table and hellfire’s. he was sixteen and figured out he didn’t care and sat at a different table almost every day. and then he was eighteen, holding a tray of food after visiting his injured friend in the hospital. shaking off the thought, lucas found the first empty table he could and took a seat. he was halfway through the pizza when he glanced up and noticed someone he knew. well, knew of, more like. adam richards was the kind of jock lucas had idolized as a kid…and then he was gone. he’d come back recently and all lucas knew about him now was that he’d been at the forest commune and that he’d almost had to get between him and cole montgomery during the carnival fiasco…until that thing had attacked him. he lifted his hand in what he hoped was a welcoming kind of wave. “hey. need some company?” 

Cole was alive. He was going to be okay. Things would eventually go back to normal, right? So why did Adam still feel so fucking shitty?

Probably because Cole had told him about everything that he’d done. Only... it wasn’t Adam, was it? He had blacked out. He couldn’t remember any of it, and that was terrifying. To not be in control of your own body, making your own decisions and being made into a weapon? It horrified Adam. It devastated him. To think that he was responsible for so much death and destruction made him feel sick.

So sick that he had no appetite. He’d finally been forced to leave the room in order to eat something, but Adam couldn’t. He’d been playing with his Jello, scooping it up and letting it slide off of his fork back into the container. It was soothing, in a weird way, and Adam just had to waste enough time that it wouldn’t be suspicious when he returned. 

At the sound of a voice, he looked up with a confused expression. Oh, it was one of those kids from the carnival, Nancy’s brother’s friend. Adam offered him a small nod, kicking the chair across from him out for Lucas to take. “Uh, thanks,” He tried for a smile, but it felt fake even to him. “Lucas, right?” He asked, only vaguely aware of him. “You were.... you were there, right?” Adam asked, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “Were you hurt?” Did I hurt you? Adam was asking, begging for the answer to be no. 

zccming​:

adam richards. it was a name she’d been hearing for years from cole. max was no therapist, but when it came to grief, her and cole had gotten pretty good at sitting down, dumping all of their feelings together, then doing absolutely nothing about them. cole, adam, robin, all of them were older than her, but with adam specifically, max hadn’t known of him while he was in school and other than a few pictures and glances from a distance this past summer, didn’t really even know what adam looked like. that was until she clocked him curled up in cole’s hospital bed. this was adam, without a doubt in her mind. 

she had been weaving in and out of rooms for so long she felt like her legs might collapse from underneath her and she just needed to sit. not wanting to overstay her welcome in any of the other rooms, she chose cole’s to rest for a minute. she hadn’t been expecting him – or adam to wake up. she jumped a bit when adam did, watching him like a frightened animal. it wasn’t his fault, more the impact of all the unexpected events that had transpired in the past twelve hours. for a while, she said nothing, and neither did he. when adam finally spoke, max noted how kind his voice sounded. in a way, that quality reminded her of lucas. she shrugged off the question, “it’s cool.” don’t apologize. when adam grasped at answers, max sighed. there was no hiding the truth from him, he already knew at least to some extent. “i’ve only seen something like this once before.” she admitted, rubbing her tired eyes. so much for rest. “but the thing that did it is gone.” with surprising conviction, max assured him, “but from what i can gather, that wasn’t you acting at the carnival. we just…need to find the weakspot of this new guy and take him down.” 

she made it sound so easy, even though she knew well how difficult the journey ahead could get.

Adam hadn’t known Max before. She’d been a kid then, someone he had maybe seen at the pool a few times or heard about from Billy. Coming back and finding out she’d became Cole’s best friend had been unexpected, but he knew from how often Cole spoke about her that she meant a lot to him. Adam was grateful for her supporting him during his grief these last few years. 

He moved closer to Cole’s bed, unwilling to be far from him after everything that he’d been through since the carnival. He kept space between him and Max, not wanting to freak Max out, in case she had seen what he’d done while he was blacked out. Sitting down in the chair closest to Cole, Adam reached subconsciously for his hand, lacing their fingers together while Cole continued to sleep. “If it’s gone... how are we still doing this?” Adam asked her, frowning at the information. There was just so much he didn’t know, so much he couldn’t even begin to process. And it fucking sucked. “Have you done that before?” Adam asked curiously, worried that they wouldn’t figure this all out. He knew he certainly didn’t know enough to solve shit. 

“Apparently, I did stuff like that before,” He admitted, despite not knowing Max at all. He trusted her with this, though, considering how much she already knew. “And...well, if it happens again,” Adam felt guilty asking this. She could say no - he wouldn’t blame her. She didn’t owe him anything. “If it happens again, can you just... make sure Cole isn’t near me? I can’t hurt him.” Not again. Adam wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he did. 

chancecunningham​:

chance had undoubtedly come in hot with his questions, but he was at a loss. he’d been raised christian, which meant that to him, there had always been a clear line between good and evil. god and devil. it all used to be so black and white. but now…good people were doing terrible things. good people that he knew. people like adam. as his friend began to explain himself, chance clenched his jaw and did his best to listen.

“yo what do you mean?” chance asked as he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at adam, “like…you don’t remember anything? don’t remember yelling at cole to leave you alone and shit?” at the word ‘black out,’ he let out a scoff, “fucking christ, richards. you were drunk?” when adam shifted the focus to chance, he waved off his injury nonchalantly. “i’m fine,” the cut above his eyebrow had thankfully been the worst of it. 

chance wasn’t sure what he believed in anymore. he knew good and evil weren’t as black and white as he’d been raised to believe they, but he’d never considered that there was anything more powerful than god or the devil. but now…looking at adam…chance could see that he wasn’t lying. and this thing that had been possessing him…it felt more evil than the devil. “who put you guys up to this, adam? like…cause it wasn’t just you…i mean…heather halloway fucking lifted steve off the ground with her bare hands.” chance lifted both of his hands up like he was choking an invisible steve, “like…by the neck.” a beat. “it was like she wasn’t even human, man…like…” chance didn’t know what to think beyond that, so he just asked questions in circles. “you don’t know anything?”

Adam had distanced himself from the church a bit after he started dating Cole, but that didn’t mean that he’d stopped believing entirely. He had just worried about being part of a group that thought that what he felt for Cole was a sin. But Cole had known how much it mattered to Adam; he had shown him the research that he’d done on whether you could be both part of the church and gay. Not because Cole believed in any of it himself - he didn’t - but he knew that it mattered to Adam. And now, things were even more complicated than before. Because... how could someone who had strived their whole life to be good and do the right thing suddenly be capable of evil? What had Adam done to deserve this, or Jack for that matter? Was there even a Heaven or a Hell, and did Adam coming back mean that he didn’t deserve either? 

At the mention of what he’d done at the carnival, Adam flinched. Chance was upset, and he had a right to be. From the outside, Adam’s behavior made no sense and the things he had done were terrible. “No, I don’t,” He shook his head, distressed at the thought of yelling at Cole “I didn’t mean to.” Adam’s gaze snapped back up to Chance, eyes hardening at the implication that he’d been drunk that night. “I didn’t take or drink anything! I don’t know what happened, Chance! But I wasn’t drunk!” 

He wished he knew what had possessed them. Cole had called it the Mindflayer, but that meant nothing to Adam. He had never heard of anything like it, and he didn’t even know where to start looking into it. Research was more Cole’s area of expertise anyway. “I don’t know, Chance. Something... was controlling us, apparently.” Adam didn’t know how much it was okay to share with his best friend - did he tell him the whole truth or not? It wasn’t exactly something someone could just unknow once they’d heard it. Adam stared in shock at the image of Heather choking Steve and picking him up by the neck - he hadn’t heard that graphic detail yet. Jesus Christ. “I don’t know how we were suddenly super strong, or why she did that, man. I just know that I can’t remember it and apparently that’s how I was acting three years ago when... right before the forest commune thing happened.” Adam covered, not sure how Chance might take the news that he’d died. 

jackforeman​:

“Wait–what?” Jack asked, shaking his head in confusion. “You’re telling me there’s something in the water now? Fuck, man. I’m glad you guys are okay, though.” Maybe going to the cabin hadn’t been such a baad idea after all. He still didn’t really know what had gone on in there, but at least no one had really gotten injured. At least, not beyond some glass being on the floor, which he thought he could recall from earlier in the evening. “It was pretty weird on a few levels. First, the kids wanted to play spin-the-bottle, which got kind of awkward, and then … I think the bottle must’ve broken, because I remember someone trying to clean up glass. Then, we left the room, and there was–I think there was another room that had more furniture and shit in it, but I can’t really remember. Maybe I drank too much beer, or something,” he said with a shrug. That, or he had an issue with memory loss, between not remembering the commune or the cabin too clearly.

Honestly, Jack wasn’t really sure how he was doing. Everything had felt so strange since he’d been back. Between having to see Steve again and how his sisters had reacted to his homecoming, Jack wasn’t sure what to think, or feel. He didn’t even have much time to process it. “I guess as okay as I can be, you know? I’m just glad to be home. It’s just so weird, I’m trying to piece together what happened to us.” No one would really tell him anything, just that they thought he’d joined a cult-like group and he was gone. “Did you, like, happen to ask anyone for any information, or anything like that? I ran into Cole at Melvald’s and he said you guys had hung out, so I don’t know if he remembered anything. Steve was kind of weird about it, and Jo just won’t shut up asking about what kind of shit happened there.”

Adam nodded solemnly, shooting Jack a grateful smile. “Thanks, dude. I don’t know what it was. Like, one second something had us, the next it was gone.” He didn’t know what sort of stuff lived in Lovers’ Lake, or if it was just some algae or something, like someone else had suggested. “All of this shit is so weird.” None of it made any since to Adam - nothing did since he had gotten back. Everything was just so damn confusing. As he listened to Jack talk about the cabin, his brow furrowed further. “You okay?” He asked him, concerned about the memory loss. Maybe Jack had drunken too much. “The cabin sounds weird, too, dude.” 

As okay as I can be. Yeah, Adam did know. He knew that all too well. He didn’t feel like he was doing a great job of processing all of this, but at least he was trying to move forward and keep going. If he let himself focus on all of it for too long, he thought he might just explode. Sitting up straighter at the mention of Cole, Adam avoided Jack’s eyes. He wasn’t really sure if he should tell Jack about what Cole had told him or not - Adam sure didn’t want to know. But maybe....maybe Jack deserved an explanation of some sort. “Yeah, Cole’s been coming by a lot,” Adam admitted, biting his lip. He’d never told Jack about his relationship with Cole, and honestly, he wasn’t sure if he should or not. Jack wasn’t a dick, but being gay in Indiana would make anyone hesitant to come out to a jock. “You know, we’re really close,” He finally settled on, neutrally; if Jack wanted to ask, then Adam was ready for it. “....he said something pretty weird about.... about how we left.” He told Jack, finally looking at him. “If you want to know, I’ll tell you. But it’s fucked up. Once you know, it’s not really something you can un-know. You know?” Adam rambled, probably not making much sense. 

NEW GIRL 04.02 “Dice”

WHO: Adam & @sinclairss​

WHAT: What’s up Jock

WHERE: The park

After his trip to the hunting store with Chance, Max and Cole, life had finally slowed down a bit for Adam. There were still problems he’d have to deal with - whatever was going on with him and Cole, the fact that his best friend was looking for a way to restrain him, the fact that he’d killed his other best friend - but for now, Adam was trying to work on processing it. He’d been going to therapy twice a week now for a while now, and he really did think talking to Gabe about things was helping. Obviously he couldn’t talk about most of that shit, but he was learning how to cope properly. Adam had a long way to go, but he was starting to feel a little less lost.

Gabe had talked to him about hobbies - about finding things that he liked and doing them just for himself. Adam obviously loved sports, but he’d always stuck to football because it was what he was best at. He’d focused on it - trained during the off season still, making sure his arm was perfect and that he was still conditioning. He hadn’t considered basketball seriously in high school, but lately, he’d thought it might be fun to just play some pick up games. After his conversation in the hospital with Lucas, Adam had decided to ask him if he wanted to meet up. 

The park was mostly empty for an afternoon, which was nice. No one was on the basketball court when they got there, so they didn’t have to worry about being careful around kids or anything. “I haven’t played in forever, so don’t make fun of me too much,” Adam admitted, shooting Lucas a small smile as Adam retied his sneakers. “What are we playing?” He thought he’d leave it up to the actual basketball player to decide. Lucas would beat him either way, but that wasn’t what this was about. It was just for fun, something Adam had been missing lately.