( Gabe | 001 ) - Blog Posts

scribblcs​:

in most instances, gabe preferred to show his hand, and adam was no exception. he smiled, clearly amused with his apprehension. he didn’t think it unwarranted, or strange, but it was mildly entertaining to see him twist himself in knots over something as simple as his name. while it was endearing in a way, it was also sad. they hadn’t even dug that deep and gabe already had an inkling that adam was in for a brutal awakening once he learned words like self awareness and setting boundaries. so, sure, it was somewhat funny to watch him squirm, but more than anything, gabe knew a warm smile could do wonders, and he hoped if anything it would help adam feel at ease. “dr.gabe is fine.” he said finally, “whatever makes you most comfortable, adam.” he said it in a way where he hoped adam knew that went for anything that went down in his office. 

“gardening is the grooviest.” gabe agreed with adam, watching the wheels turn behind his eyes. he was thinking. he knew that sharing didn’t come naturally to some people, most people, actually, so he bluntly prompted adam to share with the class, “what are you thinking about?” he asked, then followed it up with, “i saw you go somewhere.” he drew a line from his own eyes, straight up to the clouds. he couldn’t be clear enough and reminded adam, “that’s not a demand or an order, just if you feel like it.” if all of his hunches about adam were correct, it would probably be very easy to pressure him into sharing information and that wouldn’t make this process effective at all. it had to come organically. 

he set his pen down, nodding as adam explained that this was his standard day. this cole being up in the ranks with adam’s mother and sisters had gabe raising a brow as he proceeded to prompt him, “oh? tell me about cole.” he picked up his pen again, curiously, but didn’t bring it to paper quite yet. when adam finished disclosing his morning routine, gabe let that hang in the air for a minute before he looked at him very seriously and asked, “so what do you do for yourself? in your day to day?” 

Adam tried to relax as he sat on the couch stiffly. Adults usually weren’t a problem for him - Adam had always been charming. With a sweet smile, good manners, and genuine kindness, adults tended to love him. Adam didn’t need Gabe to love him - or like him even; he just needed to get through this hour without feeling too judged. Right now, he didn’t feel too bad about the experience, but it was early. “Okay,” Adam nodded, biting his lip as he stuffed his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. Whatever made him the most comfortable. In most situations, Adam didn’t know what that was, but at least this was a good baby step. As they went throughout the session, Adam could figure out what else he was comfortable with. 

Wrinkling his nose at the word grooviest, Adam laughed before he could stop himself. Yeah, this guy was old. Younger than Adam’s dad, but still middle aged. Still someone who used words like groovy. As he was called out for not sharing, Adam turned to look at Gabe guiltily. He relaxed slightly when Gabe assured him he didn’t have to tell him where he’d gone, though. “Just thinking about flowers.” He shrugged, since it wasn’t a lie. Specifically, he’d been thinking about Cole and flowers, but Adam wasn’t sure he could trust Gabe with the fact that he had a boyfriend. Adam didn’t know him, but he did know that men of his generation - hell, even men of Adam’s generation - could handle the news that someone was gay poorly. “And about your writing,” He nodded towards the notebook in Gabe’s hand. “Did I say something wrong?” Dr. Gabe probably wouldn’t tell him, since it was about him, but Adam just didn’t understand what about his day was so interesting that it deserved a note. 

When Dr. Gabe asked to hear more about Cole, Adam fidgeted in his seat. It wasn’t that Adam didn’t want to talk about Cole - he would love to. He just didn’t want Dr. Gabe to tell his parents about it, or someone in town or something. “We’ve been really close since high school,” Adam said honestly, not defining the nature of their relationship. “Uh, he’s really smart. He used to be my tutor, actually. We’ve always hung out a lot, especially since I got back.” If Adam were being honest, they’d been sort of attached at the hip since Adam’s sophomore year. He couldn’t imagine life without Cole - he’d changed every single thing about Adam’s life in the best possible way. At Gabe’s question about what Adam did for himself, Adam paused. It...felt like a trick question. What did he do for himself? He sat in silence for a minute, thinking about the answer before glancing back up at Dr. Gabe. “I don’t... I don’t know. Hang out with friends?” He offered, wondering if that was a good enough answer. 

scribblcs​:

as adam tossed out gabe’s name like a question, he nodded, smiling encouragingly. it usually fell from people’s lips uncomfortably, like they were breaking some sort of rule by using his first name, but he was a therapist, not a teacher or a mayor. he didn’t see the purpose for formalities, he made that known by adding, “you can just call me gabe if that’s easier, too.” he already had a strong feeling that wouldn’t be the case. maybe he was jumping too many stones ahead, and gabe supposed he would figure out here shortly just who adam richards was, but at first glance, he already reminded gabe of his teenage self. he recalled the days when he did his best to be the perfect son, an upstanding citizen of his small town in illinois, to be kind, to put himself last, to follow rules and do the right thing. he’d come to shed some of it with age, but there were other traits that were immovable qualities of his personality, ones that he had learned to nurture and respect and understand. he was feeling very hopeful he could do the same for adam, but first, gabe had to take about five steps back and confirm his suspicions. like he hadn’t just gone on an entire contemplative hike mid-session, gabe nodded, “let me know if you change your mind at any time. the water isn’t going anywhere.” he assured, flashing another warm grin. 

when adam started talking about his day, gabe began furiously scratching words onto his notepad. by now, he’d mastered the art of taking notes and maintaining eye contact. so as he wrote with his pen, he simultaneously nodded at adam as he spoke. his thoughts came out onto the page, stiff. uncomfortable. family important to him? his scribbling stopped when adam asked him something. initially, he looked pleasantly surprised, but one could never be too cautious. on his paper he wrote, deflecting? then set his pen down and answered, “sure, if you want.” even if the sessions weren’t about gabe, he wanted to do what he could to ease adam this first go around, “it was pretty tame. i woke up, tended to my garden, did the crossword, ran errands, came here.” he intentionally matched adam’s tone, then flipped it back around on the other, “so if that was what you did today, is it fair to say that’s your everyday? or is your normal routine a little different?” he picked up his pen again. 

Being raised in a white, Catholic upper middle class family left Adam physically unable to call an adult by their first name, and at the suggestion, Adam couldn’t help but shoot Dr. Gabe a look of concern. He’d be keeping the title out of respect and he hoped Dr. Gabe understood that. “Oh, um, thank you. But is Dr. Gabe okay?” Adam asked hesitantly, stuffing his hands anxiously in his pockets. He was worried they’d start shaking if he didn’t get over these nerves soon. There wasn’t even a reason to be nervous - if this didn’t go well, Adam would just leave and make some excuse if he was asked about why he wouldn’t be coming back. He could get through one hour long session. After all, Adam had done a lot more difficult stuff than sitting on a couch and talking about himself for awhile. With that in mind, he squared his shoulders a bit, ready to at least try. 

Dr. Gabe’s writing was a bit distracting - Adam couldn’t help but wonder what about his day was that interesting. Spending time with his family was normal, right? Helping his mom with his siblings had always been something Adam had done, and no one had ever questioned it before. Maybe it had made him give up hanging out with Cole or Chrissy in the past, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t reschedule. He was the oldest, and his mother had always counted on him to be the responsible one. Adam hadn’t minded that duty before. “Gardening seems cool,” He nodded, glancing around the room at the plants again. Plants always seemed to brighten a room, in Adam’s opinion. He’d loved it growing up when his mother had had fresh flowers around, especially when his dad had bought them for her. Adam had done that for Cole a few times in high school too - not because he felt like he was supposed to, but because he’d liked picking out a bouquet that he knew Cole would like. 

“Oh, um,” Adam blinked as he was questioned again, not used to someone wanting to hear from him this much. “I guess it’s pretty normal?” Adam said, crossing his legs to keep his knee from bouncing with nerves. “Most days I hang out with my mom and sisters or with Cole.” He shrugged. “He’s my best friend,” The lie rolled off his tongue with ease now from years of pretending like they were just really close friends. It never felt better though, or made Adam happy. “I run or workout some too.” An old habit from his football days that Adam had never dropped. Honestly, he didn’t really want to, though - he liked the endorphins he got from it, and it felt good having a routine like that. It provided him structure, a reason to get out of bed now that he was back. 

scribblcs​:

from the moment a client walked in the room, gabe was on, eyes fixed, watching, and scribbling on his notepad without tearing his gentle gaze away from whoever he was seeing. today? it was adam richards, star football player, golden boy, and recently returned from a forest commune he disappeared into three years ago. he looked antsy, which was expected from small town folk like these. where adam smiled tightly, gabe grinned back warm and open. “good afternoon.” he met him, “i’m dr.gabe, as i’m sure you were told.” he dropped his pen and folded his hands over the notepad. he chuckled softly, “do you want to lay down?” he asked adam, looking around his office. “help yourself to any spot or trinkets around here, you’re welcome to smoke if that’s your sort of thing, i have waters in the other room. don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything, okay?”

he had spent two days sprucing up the place to make it look comfortable, more like a home than an office. there were bean bags and pillows on the floor, a chair, and a large cushioned couch. scattered around the room were plants, quirky incense holders, bookshelves, and a motown record played softly from somewhere in the corner. the floor was covered up with a couple of rugs layered over one another and the blinds were low so to keep the lights from the scattered lamps soft and inviting. gabe took adam’s hand and made a mental note of just how the kid greeted him, “nice to meet you.” he smiled again, then waited for the other to sit down. when he finally looked comfortable, gabe started, “so, adam, how was your day? what did you get up to?” he’d start it off easy, like always.

Mandated therapy to help those who’d been in the ‘forest commune’ adjust felt like a good idea in theory, but bad in practice. After all, who liked being forced to talk about their feelings? Not Adam, at least not with strangers. There was just so much that he knew by now he was supposed to keep to himself. His sexuality, for one thing. But beyond just that, Adam knew that men weren’t supposed to talk about their feelings. He had struggled with that a lot growing up considering how much he wore his heart on his sleeve, but sports had reinforced the idea a lot. Talking about emotions was reserved for Cole, Chrissy or Beth, not a stranger in a doctor’s office in downtown Hawkins. 

“Dr. Gabe?” He repeated, mentally making a note that that must be his first name. Got it. “Oh, um... I guess not?” Adam shrugged. The list of things Gabe was fine with him doing was a little overwhelming at first, but Adam appreciated it. Smoking appealed to him briefly, but he didn’t have any with him. And besides, being an athlete, it wasn’t a good habit anyway. “I think I’m okay. Thank you.” 

The room felt very comfortable, which did ease some of Adam’s concerns. It wasn’t sterile and white like the doctor’s offices he was used to, and there were plants everywhere. His eyes lingered on one near him for a minute - it wasn’t something he was familiar with, but then again, he’d never been a gardener. His mom took care of the flowers at their house. After shaking Gabe’s hand, Adam awkwardly sat down on the couch. He stuck close to the edge, ready to stand back up and make his way back to the door if things got overwhelming. “Um, my day was okay,” He started, glancing at Gabe briefly. “I ran some errands with my mom and took my little sister Cindy to the mall for a bit. Then I came here.” Adam didn’t mind helping his parents out. They were busy, and he liked spending time with Cindy. It meant getting up early, though, and Adam was still tired from spending several days sleeping at the hospital. “How was your day? Am I allowed to ask that?” Adam asked after a second, not wanting to overstep a boundary if it wasn’t okay to ask about Gabe’s life too. 

WHO: Adam & @scribblcs

WHAT: Please talk about your feelings <333

WHERE: Dr. Gabe’s Office

Therapy wasn’t something Adam had any experience with. Neither of his parents had ever seen a therapist that he knew of, at least not while he was growing up. It just didn’t seem necessary, and even now Adam wasn’t sure it was going to be a good fit for him. As much as he was in touch with his emotions, he wasn’t used to sitting around and talking about them with anyone except Cole, Chrissy, Beth or Jack sometimes. Talking to a stranger about his life just felt weird. 

But after everything that had happened with the carnival, Adam knew he probably should visit Dr. Diaz. It had been mandated when they had all begun emerging from the forest commune, but Adam had been successfully avoiding his appointment for awhile now. But with the blackouts? Adam needed someone to help him figure out what was happening, and help him process the idea that he’d done horrifying things whether he meant to or not. 

When he entered Dr. Diaz’s office, he offered the man a tight smile, avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he felt opening up to him at this point, honestly. With a glance at the couch in the room, Adam frowned for a minute. “Am I supposed to lay down?” He asked, basing this entirely off of every movie he’d seen with a character laying down and baring their heart to the guy with a notepad. “Um, I’m Adam, by the way.” Adam introduced, although he was sure Dr. Diaz had already been briefed about him or something, just like Peter had been. He stuck his hand out to shake, waiting to follow Dr. Diaz’s lead.