#bestie Beloved Blorbo (insp.)

me, logging into ao3 5 minutes before bedtime: WAITER! bring me your finest enemies to lovers!

ao3 tag search function: excellent choice, sir! how would you like it cooked?

me: explicit. with a side of hurt/comfort

ao3: lovely! and may i suggest a drizzle of mutual pining?

me: of course, and can you add a spritz of angst? make it a 100k slowburn for good measure

ao3: coming right up, sir

me: thank you. oh, and waiter?

ao3: yes, sir?

me: make it gay

yes all my favorite characters are desperate to be loved. no i don’t think that says anything about me

steve teaching robin his evil white boy ways is very important to me. he's boosting her up into a girl's window. she's wearing backwards baseball caps and popped collars and sunglasses inside. sitting on the roof in lawn chairs. throwing random stuff off high places.

the first time she does a keg stand, he cries.

write weird shit. Write indulgent au fanfiction and self insert fics. Write creepy horror scenes and random character crossover dialogue. Write in a different genre. Write that sex scene that you know won’t make the cut. Write about sentient furniture turning into werewolves that try to date your MC. Write whump or hero/villain fic. Write your kink. Write your worst nightmare. Write your delusions of power and fantasies of control. Write whatever the fuck you feel like. Write whatever comes to mind. You don’t have to share it with anyone (but you can). Your writing impulses don’t define your morality anymore than your reading preferences, and actually going outside your comfort zone will improve your writing skills (making a horrifying villain sympathetic requires good characterization). Even if it doesn’t improve your skills, that’s still something you created out of nothing. It’s still valuable. Don’t let purity culture kill your creativity. That’s how culture stagnates. That’s how writing stops being fun.

fics were Steve calls Billy "California" and Billy calls Steve "Indiana" make me go fucking feral for whatever reason

happy birthday to my fav: Asshole, The Hater

Robin is freaking out about how she hasn’t had her first kiss yet and Steve’s like, “Hey, I’ll help you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, “Not with me, obviously. I will find you someone.”

This leads to a whole month where they’ll go to a party/bar/club and Steve will bring over a random man and just leave him there.

Robin is just ?????????

She feels like she’s reading this wrong because to her, it seems like Steve is implying that she should make out with these objectively good looking guy and - and - finally she explodes, “Do you know what a lesbian is?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay, then why do you keep bringing guys over to me??!!”

Steve gives her a baffled look, says like it’s obvious, “So you can have your first kiss.”

“Why?” She asks through the insanity. “Would. I. Want. To. Do. That?????! I’m. A. Lesbian.”

“…oh, Robs,” Steve says like he gets it but proves that he really doesn’t when he adds, “A first kiss feels like it’s really important but it’s not. So you just do it with anyone to get it over with.”

“I’m a lesbian.”

“So?? My first kiss was with Tommy,” Steve shrugs. “Why would you want your first kiss to be with someone you like? The first kiss is always bad.”

Robin just stares at that revelation and then looks at the clock. It’s getting late but they can be tired for work tomorrow. This is a conversation she needs to have now.”

no neurodivergent infighting here

He wants him so bad