Can Someone Please Write A One-shot?? Where The Avengers Are Jealous Because Peter Is Spending All His

Preach

A post for men about creepy men

I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.

Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:

A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly

He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out

But he doesn’t do that to guys, and

He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and

When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable

And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space

and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness

And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy

So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills

And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women

And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target

For example:

Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.

Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.

What went wrong here?

Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.

Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right. 

Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness

Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong

Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy

A rule of thumb for men:

If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t

Listen to them about what they tell you

If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.

If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men

Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable

If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose

Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men

tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t tolerate give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.

Never a truer statement spoken

(I don't know who the original credit is sorry)

Okays, So. I don't think Harry would have been named after nobody I feels as tho James and Lily would have named him after a family member or something. So I always kind headcannoned that James had and older brother named Harry.... but he was a still born. So James would have never grown up with him but he knew he had an older brother and his parents always said that Harry was looking over him, so yeah I think Harry was named after James older brother.

I'm 14 and I felt this

something that really irritates me is that people constantly feminize one partner of a gay couple or make him trans. as if it’s impossible for a cis man to be in a gay relationship or be masculine.

people making one person trans is especially present in smut. like i seriously have no idea why, but there is so much content out there where one man is trans and the other is cis and they be rawdogging it.

now there absolutely is nothing wrong with a trans man being in a gay relationship. there is something wrong with it happening to nearly EVERY SINGLE GAY SHIP I COME ACROSS.

either one of them is feminized or trans or BOTH. ofc you can hc them however you want but something about its popularity rubs me the wrong way. it almost implies that two men can really only be in a relationship if one is trans or feminine.

Still love Wolfstar just Jegulus is what got me into the fandom

reblog for jegulus, like for wolfstar

this is for science smh

So like hear me out but for a Marylily ship name you could obviously have like Lily or Flower for Lilys but but like what about Lamb for Mary's, cause like Mary's little lamb??? Like maybe LilyLamb?? Actually no that's stupid. Just all the guy ships or straight ships have cool names. Like flowerpot or Wolfstar or Starchaser or RoseKiller, like why can't wlw get cool names like that.

James Potter is the definition of the word disheveled.

~~~♤~~~

He's always got that look in his eyes, you know the one.

He's kind a unfocused and his glasses are falling to the tip of his nose.

His hair is perpetually messy, he makes it look good but it's messy nonetheless.

He's always running around somewhere, probably knocking things over on his way.

Apologizes to inanimate objects... 100% apologizes to inanimate objects.

Says "wut?" Like a million times a day.

He replies to "Potter! >:(" better than he replies to his actual name.

Is so genuinely terrible at flirting its a little scary.

Tie always slung over his neck because he just... can't be bothered?

Buttons on his shirt done up wrong half the time.

Always late, Merlin help him.

Deer in headlights literally and figuratively.

He's got that total girly scream that follows with him clearing his throat and the deepest voice you've ever heard.

Dissociates from conversations then snaps back suddenly and nods along even though he has no idea what's happening.

"Mr. Potter!" "WASN'T ME!"

Will stare for a solid five seconds before processing what someone said.

Laughs louder than everyone else then quietly mutters "I don't get it"

He's a little wild, always up to something either dangerous or so stupid it should probably be considered dangerous.

Has ADHD.

That's it, he's just a little ADHD baby.

Can't go twenty seconds without pissing someone off.

Explodes with happiness.

Usually translates to smacking his friends repeatedly before pointing and shouting excitedly about something.

Pining after the same person for years even though they are SO MEAN TO HIM.

He actually loves it when they're mean to him.

He's just a chaotic mess and his friends love him so much

~~~♤~~~

I am a James Potter as the little spoon truther