The Signs As Shit I Said At Work This Morning

The signs as shit I said at work this morning

Aries: who the fuck needs 30 pounds of chicken tenders at 10 am?

Taurus: (to rotisserie chicken) the boys are back in town.

Gemini: *drops entire pan of gravy *

Cancer: that looks horrible, this is horrible.

Leo: Every time there is a call off, someone from management owes me 3$

Virgo: imagine muenser cheese, but the rind is neon blue.

Sagittarius: *to my boss* please for the love of GOD, fire me.

Libra: Sorry I’m late guys, I didn’t want to come back.

Scorpio: Yeah, I gave that homie the wrong brand of Colby, but nothing really matters, anyway.

Capricorn: its time for Captain Spock to take command for me. I am unfit to run this ship

Aquarius: Raw chicken or Cancer– we are all dying anyway, who gives a shit.

Pisces: Every time a customer complains I grow a little bit stronger, if this keeps up I’ll be deli manager in 2 months

More Posts from Highdrivingsarah and Others

7 years ago

Cinnamon roll

Ray Toro: Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll

Mikey Way: Looks like he could kill you but  could actually kill you

Frank Iero: Looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

Gerard Way: Sinnamon roll or cinnamon roll there is nothing between


Tags
6 years ago

Aesthetically pleasing

highdrivingsarah - i dont know what i am doing
5 years ago

“Queer people exist. Choosing not to accept them is not an option. To anyone watching this that isn’t out, it’s okay. You’re okay. You were born this way, it’s right, and anyone that has a problem with it is wrong. Based on your circumstance, you might not feel ready to tell people yet or, that it’s safe, and that’s fine too, just know that living your truth with pride is the way to be happy. You are valid, it gets so much better, and the future is clear. It’s pretty queer.”

— Daniel Howell, “Basically I’m Gay”

2 years ago

my quality of life has improved tenfold ever since i was introduced to breezewiki, a site that exists solely to remove the bloat from fandom.com wikis. no more ads, quizzes, random autoplaying videos, popups, recommended pages from other sites, or discord server member lists. just the wiki. these things are finally readable again

6 years ago
Dan’s Extra As Hell exit 😩
Dan’s Extra As Hell exit 😩

dan’s extra as hell exit 😩

6 years ago

Life I guess?

I fucking hate my family rn, my grandma is a bitch who destroys everyone’s life. My aunt is an alcohol addict and doesn’t care about anyone, my brother has a aggression problem and hurt my mom really bad, and my stepfather is a mix between my mom and my grandma.

Also we’re not talking about my biological father cuz just nope.

And to top this, my mom has depressions and is having a bad week taking all out on me.

How do I cope with it? Well guys, I grew some balls (imaginary ones cuz I’m a girl) and just don’t bitch about it, sure I have bad days too but it’s 2018 bitch we deal with our problems.


Tags
6 years ago

I didnt know i needed to hear this, i tried to have sex last weekend but it didnt turn out well.

Thank godness for the guy who i was with for not making it awkward and not saying anything.

Shoutout to people who aren’t merely disinterested in sex, but are actually terrified of it

Your fears are valid and you should not let that stop you from being the wonderful, beautiful person you are

Your fears are valid and you should not be ashamed of it, no matter what anyone else says

6 years ago

TW Don’t kill yourself today

Don’t kill yourself today

Because your Netflix trial still has a week left

Don’t kill yourself today

Because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge

Don’t kill yourself today

Because I know for a fact that Starbucks is releasing a new Frappuccino sometime next month

Yes, your mother will miss you

Yes your bully will make a sappy Facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you were

And yes

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

You know that

You’ve known that

Everyone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meant

So don’t kill yourself

Until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time

Don’t kill yourself

Until Doctor Who is finally cancelled

Don’t kill yourself

Until you tell someone your best pasta recipe 

Don’t kill yourself 

Because I will keep coming up with reasons for you not to

And I need you

To hear all of them

Don’t kill yourself

I love you

You’re important

It’s a bad day

Not a bad life

There is more to this

The world will keep spinning on its axis without you

But

Think of all the sunrises you’d miss

I know this sounds pointless

But when you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own

Revising your goodbyes

There will be too much darkness 

To see anything else

But this is not about seeing anything else

This is about turning off the lights

This is about finding the bed instead of the noose

This is about giving yourself one more day

Even if it takes ten thousand of those

One more morning’s

Until

“I can’t wait for tomorrow”

This is about staying alive

Because there’s gonna be a new Marvel movie

No one should miss that

This is about staying alive

Because the future is coming 

And it’s ready for you

I don’ t need you to see it

I just need you to believe you can make it 

Until then

- Hannah Dains

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highdrivingsarah - i dont know what i am doing
i dont know what i am doing

23frogs are bitches and we don’t negotiate with terorrists.

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