Lately I've Been Thinking About Body Image And How I Should Be Perceiving Myself As A Muslim Woman.
Lately I've been thinking about body image and how I should be perceiving myself as a Muslim woman.
For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with my weight and finding clothes that are modest and fitting, and I know we all grew up comparing ourselves to other girls and maybe even actresses and models that appeared in advertisements and on television. I also grew up in a time when there was no such thing as "plus size clothing" or "modest clothing". The Western clothing brands we had didn't offer a wide range of sizes and lengths for the Muslim girl who maybe doesn't exactly want to wear skintight jeans or spaghetti straps.
As I grew up with my eyes glued to the media, and with less-than-kind comments about my body really hitting it home that I was gross and unacceptable, and then with the multiple failed diets I went on from the age of 11 or 12, things started to look hopeless for me. So I did what girls on the internet were doing: not eat at all.
Obviously, that didn't work. The act itself only lasted for a few weeks at a time, with my weight dropping then skyrocketing when I couldn't do it anymore.
But the mental impact of all these years piled up is something I'm still struggling with as an adult.
Now, in my twenties, I'm trying to remind myself how a Muslim should treat his/her body. I'm trying to remind myself of all the Hadiths we learned about how, when, and how much a Muslim should eat. How a Muslim doesn't dress to show off certain "assets" and hide "flaws" in their body, but simply to be modest and humble. How every part of our body is going to speak on the Day of Judgement. How we don't live to eat but eat to live. How our bodies don't belong to us and we'll be asked what we did with them.
I'm trying to remind myself that there's more to my body than how it looks. That I should be more concerned with keeping it healthy because it was entrusted to me by Allah, rather than abusing it and making it ill.
This life is a test, and for me, my body and my health are a test too.
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You deserve to make room for yourself the same way you do for others.
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹
Just like others, you are a person! If you are struggling to love yourself, consider how you treat yourself. Would you authentically love someone who talks to you the way you do? How can you expect to love yourself when you wouldn't even be friends with someone who treats others that way? It is an act of self-disrespect to ignore your own needs and desires.
I don't say this to make you feel ashamed of your self-talk, but rather to invoke a look outside for a change. We are always looking inside ourselves so often that we don't notice our simple worth as a person, a human, a being on the earth. Millions of people consider themselves the one exception.
You deserve to eat yummy foods like our friends do. You deserve to be treated with respect like our peers do. You deserve to feel the sun on your face the same way a flower does. You deserve to forgive yourself for things that you regret. You deserve more than "I'm used to it." You deserve to move your body the same way a dog deserves to be taken on a walk. You deserve to live a fulfilling life where your needs are met.
It's time to apologize to yourself. It's time to take accountability for all the ways you antagonized yourself. It's time to mend the relationship with your own body and your own mind. You don't have to keep fighting with yourself, you are allowed to repair things that have been broken. Offer yourself grace and kindness, just as you would for others. Forgive yourself by making it up to yourself.
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And who is better in speech than he who calls ˹others˺ to Allah,and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."
[Qur'an 41:33]
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Just because you’re always honest, don’t expect everyone to tell you the truth.
Just because you wish the best for others, don’t expect others to wish the same for you.
Just because you love and work for the sake of Allah, don’t expect everyone to have the same sincerity.
Just because you value friendship fisebilillah and go the extra mile, don’t expect others to be just as invested as you.
Just because you see goodness and hope in a future beautiful world according to Islamic standards, don’t expect others to share your dream.
Just because you want to be your absolute best, don’t expect others to have the same standard.
Remember that expectation leads to frustration and disappointments!
Keep going for the sake of Allah and let it be the fuel of your energy and not the people's negativity or lack of interest or guidance.
Remember that harder the conditions, higher the reward is from Allah. Remember that Allah reward for intentions too and He see and appreciate the efforts no matter whether they're appreciated and accepted or rejected and belittled by others.
Take care of your intentions, put on serious efforts and leave it in the hands of Allah. Leave it in the hands of Allah on all conditions... before, throughout the process and after it.
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