Jason: You're Wearing Makeup.

Jason: ARE YOU-

Rachel: Fucking.

Jason: KIDDING ME? YOU-

Rachel: Fucking.

Jason: IDIOT!

Nick: What was that?

Rachel: Salim bet Jason couldn't stop swearing for a week, so I’m helping him out.

friend referred to Jason as Male Wife Two-One Actual the other day and I still haven't recovered

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … iscuit. son of a biscuit.

Nick: nice save.

Jason: yeah. fucking nailed it.

Salim: Jason, can you do me a favour ?

Jason: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Salim: cool i guess ? can you do the dishes please ?

Jason: no.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE TEACHERS PEOPLE IN THE BACK

“you’re [insert age here] and should already know how to—“ very inappropriate way to start or end any conversation with a disabled person <3

I can totally see Phil being freaked out when he hears Tommy talking in his sleep and getting Fundy and Tubbo to perform a dreamon exorcism on him and Tubbo just goes along with it

Tubbo: Tommy sometimes talks in his sleep. It’s cute.

Tommy, mumbling in his sleep: fight me… motherfucker… square up bitch… I think the fuck not…

submitted by: @fornfish

Nick: Do you support gay rights?

Jason: I am literally dating Salim.

Clarisse: He's dodging the question.

Nick, about Merwin: He died of natural causes

Jason: ..You pushed him off the roof

Nick: Gravity is natural

Jason: Hey, Nick, quick question. How much is 256 multiplied by 24?

Nick: Do I look like a calculator to you?

Jason: 

Joey:

Merwin:

Nick, sighing: 6,144.

Salim: I'm going to take a shower, you want to join me?

Jason: I keep a gun in the drawer under my bunk. If I ever say no to that question I want you to shoot me with it