This Isn't A Response To Any Request, I'm Just Online Window-shopping Again And Wanted To Shout Out My

Tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of me publicly using the name Shai for myself and I'm already beginning to feel emotional about it..

Quite interesting really, to see the same themes from roughly eight years ago resurfacing once again, though with a much different emotional flavor to it.

As if I haven't thought about getting long scarves or bunches of fabric to trail down my back the way my wings were, as if I haven't thought about wearing my antennae in public

Hello all!

I've found that my experiences with kin don't quite seem to align with a lot of other people's, and, while I know that this is a subjective experience, I was wondering if detailing my experiences might help to elucidate what is going on for me. Even if there isn't a label, I'm still comfortable under the otherkin and alterhuman umbrellas ✨️

I don't quite feel the same level of identification that others feel with their kintype. I don't see him and feel a response of recognition - it feels less that I am him, but more that he is me. My kin is primarily psychological, and I later adopted the more spiritual side of the beliefs here. I do possess memories, but they are very brief snapshots in time of events - walking down a hallway and trailing my fingers along the wall, vague recollections of what flight felt like, nothing highly specific. I do have a sense of longing for the location he lived in, but not for anyone he knew (with the homesickness of sorts being attributed to a personal trauma response as I've discussed this in therapy, but it feels worthwhile to mention in this discussion).

Something also worth mentioning - while I do not have DID, I did (and potentially still do?) experience dissociation. The very first experiences I had were quite intense and I likened them to feeling possessed, though with less loss of control and more experiencing thoughts and emotions that did not belong to me. As time went on, I became more acquainted with this part of myself and the episodes became a lot less distressing as time went on. My analogy is that, if I were driving a car, the first episodes felt like me controlling the gas and brakes while someone else tried to take the wheel from me, while now they feel like I'm taking driving directions from a trusted friend.

At some point in the turmoil, I recognized the bundle of thoughts and feelings as the kintype I currently identify with (as?). I use his name offline in my life and feel a euphoria I cannot fully name when I am in full cosplay as him. He has insect characteristics (antennae and butterfly wings) and I notice a lot of the euphoria fades when I'm not wearing them, though in canon he was certainly nothing short of a misanthrope who took great pride in his insect nature.

It also feels worth mentioning, I am a semi-active member of the self ship community, and had been shipping with my kintype (as the human I currently am) for what had initially been coping purposes.

I suppose I feel less personal recognition, and almost as though I possess two souls, his and my own. What I had later called kinshifts had been so clearly delineated to me at first, but now I feel a sort of harmony with this.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm open for questions, if need be.

Putting out a polite request, are there any other Hunter x Hunter kins out there who would like to be mutuals? I haven't found very much in way of community yet, so I'm actively putting out a thread and formally asking now ✨️

Almost the same, but just a step to the left

//...Vladimir Donatovich Orlovsky...// (1842-1914)

Storm Clouds, 1884.

Would I be forgiven for including homestuck music in my upbeat "I love being you" playlist

I was initially going to drop a kin playlist, but as I've become a lot more comfortable with my identity I've been making a second and third playlist for various emotions I've been feeling and wonder, would there be any interest in seeing 3 separate kin playlists?

Can’t find the way back, Jeremy Miranda

Ah, I see, it was all about love.

I missed him.