Psychological Kin - Blog Posts

Hello all!

I've found that my experiences with kin don't quite seem to align with a lot of other people's, and, while I know that this is a subjective experience, I was wondering if detailing my experiences might help to elucidate what is going on for me. Even if there isn't a label, I'm still comfortable under the otherkin and alterhuman umbrellas ✨️

I don't quite feel the same level of identification that others feel with their kintype. I don't see him and feel a response of recognition - it feels less that I am him, but more that he is me. My kin is primarily psychological, and I later adopted the more spiritual side of the beliefs here. I do possess memories, but they are very brief snapshots in time of events - walking down a hallway and trailing my fingers along the wall, vague recollections of what flight felt like, nothing highly specific. I do have a sense of longing for the location he lived in, but not for anyone he knew (with the homesickness of sorts being attributed to a personal trauma response as I've discussed this in therapy, but it feels worthwhile to mention in this discussion).

Something also worth mentioning - while I do not have DID, I did (and potentially still do?) experience dissociation. The very first experiences I had were quite intense and I likened them to feeling possessed, though with less loss of control and more experiencing thoughts and emotions that did not belong to me. As time went on, I became more acquainted with this part of myself and the episodes became a lot less distressing as time went on. My analogy is that, if I were driving a car, the first episodes felt like me controlling the gas and brakes while someone else tried to take the wheel from me, while now they feel like I'm taking driving directions from a trusted friend.

At some point in the turmoil, I recognized the bundle of thoughts and feelings as the kintype I currently identify with (as?). I use his name offline in my life and feel a euphoria I cannot fully name when I am in full cosplay as him. He has insect characteristics (antennae and butterfly wings) and I notice a lot of the euphoria fades when I'm not wearing them, though in canon he was certainly nothing short of a misanthrope who took great pride in his insect nature.

It also feels worth mentioning, I am a semi-active member of the self ship community, and had been shipping with my kintype (as the human I currently am) for what had initially been coping purposes.

I suppose I feel less personal recognition, and almost as though I possess two souls, his and my own. What I had later called kinshifts had been so clearly delineated to me at first, but now I feel a sort of harmony with this.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm open for questions, if need be.

🦋

Hello all. You may call me Shai; I am 24, use he/him pronouns, and am aromantic and asexual.

I've been identifying with the kin community for roughly two years now, and have designated this blog as a space for me to explore my thoughts and feelings a bit more fully, in a judgment-free space. This blog is also where I'll collect imagery and posts that I identify with. I may occasionally post my own art as well. Some other things you may like to know about me include:

✨️ Psychological and spiritual kin - my identity as fictionkin developed as a method of processing grief and trauma, but I have leaned into the spiritual aspect as well as I find it comforting.

✨️ I am being led to believe that my kin identity is also a result of dissociation, specifically that my kintype constitutes a dissociative fragment.

✨️ Only one kin - Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter.

✨️ Chronically ill - I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and, interestingly enough, I use it to connect with my kintype. This condition is genetic and affects all systems in my body, so this is something I will continually discuss here.

✨️ This is a sideblog, my main I follow back and interact from is @/ad.hd-sh.aiapouf

While I am a bit more quiet on this blog, I am online quite frequently and am open for any type of conversation or discussion; in spite of the formality, I swear I'm friendly 💖

Tags for reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for royal buildings and things that remind me of the past

❤️ -> imagery falling under the lovecore aesthetic

It's been quite some time since I've last written here, and I'm excited to announce how I've been doing! After over a year of work, I've finally become much more comfortable in my identity as fictionkin and have incorporated it into my life as a spiritual belief ✨️ I plan to open up a bit more about my thoughts and feelings regarding this because I spent quite a long time in therapy sorting out how I felt about this, and have made the decision to no longer push this aspect of myself away as it's been crucial to my recovery and to understanding myself. I'm grateful for the existence of a community that's allowed me to be able to make sense of my thoughts and emotions, and plan to have a bit more on this blog as I continue to work with my identity 💖

Do people still make and post kin playlists, is that still something people do

It's almost funny, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm surprised by who I see

I've been holding on to the idea of making this blog for quite some time, and decided that no harm could really come from this + I'd like to seek out some community around this as well; while I've been familiar with the concept of kin for a while, and I've been genuinely identifying with it for about a year, I'm still fairly new to this and don't really know a lot of the terms, so I'll speak with what I know.

I have only one kin and it's Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter; it's all psychological as well, so no memories, canons, or anything of that nature, just a lot of connectivity in a lot of other places.

I want to be able to have this as a discussion space for this because it's been so incredibly integral to my coping and current recovery process; this blog is also going to be where I collect aesthetic images and the like that I feel fit. I also make periodic personal updates regarding my physical health. Overall, just carving out a nice space for myself here, and hoping to be able to see others doing the same.

[This is a sideblog, I follow/interact back from @/a.dhd-sh.aiapouf]

Tags, for quick reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for palaces, etc

❤️ -> lovecore style imagery

💭 -> catch-all for other images