Am I Host To The World's Most Half-assed Fictive..

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

Day 3: Who are you open about it with?

I am quite open about this online, but there are two very close real-life friends of mine that I recently spoke about this with. It went over very well, though I did leave a lot of information more implicit than anything; nonetheless, everyone understood what I was conveying. I am also open about my kin identity with a family member who also experiences kin.

Day 4: Do you participate in the fandom of your source? How do you do so?

I participate quite often! I produce quite an amount of fanart and analysis for my kin, as well as for the other characters he was pictured to be closest with. I am also active in the self-ship community, also with my kintype. It is a bit of a complex situation, but love is always at the core for me, no matter how I choose to participate.

Something I'm thinking about that I feel is greatly appealing to me most is the idea of "one soul, multiple iterations". Cut from the same cloth and passed forward.

So he's a fragment.

There's a lot on my mind about finding the definition and terminology for what I've been working with, and part of me feels truly dismayed to have found an answer. The stark realization that I've been something of a system for at least two years, and never knew until now. Though I suppose it's also necessary to ask - two years ago, would I have been in the space to handle this information? Or would it have sent me further into the spiral the spirituality was designed to prevent?

I think about this in relation to my spirituality. Fragment not as an alter per se, but in the definition of soul still. I first majorly interacted with him in the self ship community; it's as though my love for him manifested in a visceral form, putting him by my side each day, assisting me in processing and understanding my own emotions, the very task he struggled with.

The butterfly is representative of the soul. One could call this divine intervention of sorts. I think about the medicalized terminology and compare to the previous ideas the medical institution held regarding being transgender. "Gender Identity Disorder" paring the experience down to rights and wrongs, when the experience of being trans is so much brighter, bolder, and rich than anything a medical text could ever detail.

Yes, while this is a lot of information to take in, I still see a way to incorporate my own belief system. Belief system into my clinical system.

I know you know I love you, and I'm willing to bet that that is exactly why you persist with me today. You show me your thoughts, your feelings, your memories. I can feel on my own body where your wings would have been, how they would have moved with me. I see now why I struggled to see the experiences as "mine" and why I called them "yours". We are separate, but not by too large of a degree. Separate enough to delegate and sort, but not enough for you to truly speak through me.

What we are is okay. I'm glad to be able to know you. I'm glad you've been with me for this long and I'm glad for your service to me. I love you.

Another Interview (Fictionkin)

Finally posting for the first time in a while :p anyways! I got to do an interview (again, seriously love doing these) this ones with @bandage-hearted-butterfly and it's about them having two spirits and their experiences. I did get permission to simplify some answers and did check with them before I posted them, thanks!

First question: How do you know that you have two spirits, or what makes you feel like you have two spirits? Along with that, did they ever have a conflict, or one would be much more prominent and vice versa for periods of time?

-Felt possessed, as if they were experiencing life through someone else's views, thoughts and feelings -Felt as if an entirely different person was present within them -Felt as if they needed to do everything they could to control it and stop it before talking about it in therapy -Looked into it and learned the character was connected to them, and they'd always felt that -As time went on there wasn't as much conflict, and they started accepting it more -In the beginning he felt unpredictable and didn't know what to do -Felt most during stress, as in his own commentary

Second question: I saw that your identity is a character and I saw you started identifying with them due to trauma. How did it eventually become spirtual to you, if you know that is?

-Started looking at it through a spirtual aspect through therapy

Third question: If you have this feeling of two spirits, do you get shifts as your kintype? Or is it just with you constantly? (I think if I remember correctly, almost like a contherian and/or suntherian)

-When they first started feeling this character they did experience very strong shifts of sorts but now they almost co-exist

Fourth question: Other than a way of processing trauma and grief, why did you start identifying as your kintype (as in do you similar experiences, feelings, anything along those lines?)

-Started as a trauma response, later on learned more about the character and did learn they had much in common from mental and physical illnesses to some certain hobbies and traits

@classicaldreams

𝓜.

Evening on the Garden   -   Olga Kvasha , 2016

Ukrainian,b.1976 -

Oil on canvas, 75 x 85 

MARTIN GASPARYAN - İstanbul

I crossed paths with a fe.itan! The internet is truly a magical place

musings on the sun

christina perneta, noor hindi, vincent van gogh, jeanette winterson, zinaida vysota docenko, anne sexton, olga kos, khalil gibran

Greetings. It has been quite some time since I've documented my experiences, and I believe a full explanation of sorts may be in order, mostly for myself as, had I seen others doing the same, I may have been able to cope much sooner.

What I had taken for an experience with fictionkin was the product of myself lacking the words to describe how I had felt, and found terms cleanly matching them in this community. However, I have come to terms with having a much different experience, which is that of having an (albeit quite fragmented) alter. What I had taken for a past life was essentially a separate entity expressing himself alongside me, and it is a matter I wish to be open about, for my own sake.

I have documented much of my journey here, and feel fit to continue doing so, with new knowledge regarding how I move through the world.