This Was Heartbreaking 💔

Well, this is going to be my entire personality for the rest of the week.

I love this!

Look for the Light - 1

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)

Series Masterlist

You were standing guard when you overheard their conversation. You’d not meant to eavesdrop but when your name had fallen from Ellie's lips, you couldn’t help yourself. 

“You and her a thing?” The child asked and Joel scoffed. 

“Pass.” He replied and your heart sank. 

“Something is going on with you two though.” She stated matter of factly and you could almost picture Joel’s expression. 

“Pass.” He replied again and that was your cue to turn around again and return to keeping the watch. 

“How'd you end up in Boston?” Ellie pushed and Joel practically grumbled out his reply. 

“Pass.” His favourite response “No more questions about me.” 

You tuned out after that. You could vaguely hear them discussing the life expectancy of the infected but you didn’t care to listen. Your mind instead wandered back to how you had met Tess and Joel. How they’d saved you from almost certain death. 

You were sure you were hallucinating when two figures came into view. You blamed it on the blood loss. Damn raiders had got you good. Clutching to your leg, you watched them slink into view. You knew they would likely kill you. If anything, they would put you out of your misery. So that’s why, when they had gotten close enough, you’d called out for help. The shadows blocked the sun as they came to a stop beside you, your vision going black as they crouched to your level. 

“She’s been shot.” Stated Tess as she inspected your wound “Best just leave her here.” She stated as she got back to her feet but Joel remained. 

Normally he would have agreed with his partner. He’d left plenty of doomed souls to die where he’s found them but there was something about you that drew him in. 

“We’re not far from Bill and Frank’s.” He stated as he placed two fingers on your neck “If we get her there, they could help.” 

“Bill barely lets us in.” Tess grumbled, “What makes you think he’ll help her!” She scoffed. 

“Frank will.”

“Why do you care Joel?” She asked, pulling his gaze to her “She’s a nobody. You’ve done it before!” 

Joel didn’t reply. He simply scooped her up into his arms and started walking. Less than an hour later, Frank was patching you up and Bill was grumbling about dragging strays into his town. 

You hadn’t strayed from Joel's side a day since 

 “You can put the gun down, Joel.” Sat Tess as she managed to barge the door open. 

You made your way to Ellie's side and studied Tess’ expression. 

“What is it?” You ask and she simply motioned for you to follow. 

This couldn’t be good news. 

Following through the abandoned hotel restaurant, you made your way to what looked like a balcony in the middle of renovations, before everything went to hell. Stepping through a plastic curtain the truth of your predicament came to light. You wouldn’t be going the way you’d hoped. 

“There’s so many.” Gasped Ellie and you glanced at the girl a moment before sharing a look with Joel. 

“The last time we were here, they were still deep inside the buildings.” Stated Tess as she watched the infected writhe on the floor “Then I guess enough people came through looking for the QZ, they went inside seeking shelter... and that's how they get more and more of the city bit by bit, year after year.“

A cloud parting overhead allowed the sun to shine its light down on the hoard below and their snarling became louder and almost pained. Ellie’s eyes widened in realisation as she watched them all writhe and scream on the ground below them. 

“They’re connected!” She stated and you sighed. 

“More than you know.” You stated as you looked from her to Tess “The fungus grows underground. Long fibres like wires some of them stretching for over a mile.” 

Tess scraped a hand over her face as she then looked up at Joel before looking down at the child standing beside you. 

“Now, you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, and you can wake a dozen Infected from somewhere else.“ She piped up and Ellie looked over at the older woman “You’re not immune from being ripped apart. You understand?” 

Ellie nodded before looking back down at the infected blow. 

“It’s important.” Tess continued, her tone firm “I’m tryin’ to keep you alive.” 

Ellie gave the woman a nod and then that was that. End of conversation. 

“So we’re not going that way.” She grumbled and you shook your head. 

“No.” 

“What do we do then?” She asked, looking up at Joel “Short way?” She asked, almost panicked. 

“Museum.” He replied, glancing at Tess before his eyes came to rest on you. 

“Come on, we need to get going.” Piped up Tess as she led the way back into the hotel. 

You followed without question, only to be stopped by a firm hand on your wrist. 

“Joel, what are you-“ 

“You should head back.” He stated firmly “It’s gonna get dangerous.” 

“More so than it already has been?” You scoffed, pulling your hand from his grip “Why me and not Tess?” 

“She has more experience in this sorta thing.” He replied and you rolled your eyes “I’m serious.” 

“You just wanna keep a backup play thing in case you lose one.” You replied bitterly.

“That’s not.” He shook his head and you scoffed again. 

“So you’re not fuckin’ us both?” You pushed, leaving Joel at a loss for words “Look, Joel, I’m not your girlfriend. You can fuck who you like but I’m also not your property. So you can’t order me around. I will deliver the girl then that’s it.” 

“What is?” He asked and for a moment, you thought you could sense fear in his tone.  

“I’m done.” You replied plainly before making your way back inside and leaving a speechless Joel in your wake. 

A mixture of emotions washed over him. Frustration, anger, hurt! Just to name a few. But the main one was sadness. Hearing you say that after this, you were done with him had cut him deeper than you knew. He had never been the best at showing you what you meant to him but he’d hoped you knew that you meant something. Maybe even everything. 

But it was clear to him that you knew nothing of his feelings. That, or you simply didn’t return them. 

"You've gotta be fսcking kidding me." Grumbled Ellie as she looked up at the old building. 

Fungus had enveloped most of the front of the structure. You could already picture how it looked inside. Bodies permanently fused the walls and floors. Their expressions set in stone for the rest of time. 

"Well, there's a way across from the top floor." Tess stated as Joel started to inspect the Museum entrance before glancing at you. 

You hadn't looked at him since leaving the hotel. Rolling his shoulders back and schooled his features, returning his attention to the fungus-covered building. 

"Well, then I guess it's fine." 

You smirked at Ellie's sarcastic reply, knowing how riled up Joel would be by it. The man appeared to be all stoicism and few words but in reality, it was easy to push his buttons. 

"We used to take it all the time." You piped up, looking at the teenager. 

"Okay."

"Look it was fine." Tess continued but Ellie cut her off with her one-word response. 

"Awesome." 

You finally turned your attention to Joel who was inspecting the fungus more closely. Knocking it a few times with the butt of his gun before turning to look at you all again. 

"It's bone dry." He stated as he made his way back over to Tess' side, the two of them sharing a look that had the green monster inside of you flaring its nostrils. 

"It could mean they're all finally dead in there." He suggested and Tess nodded before glancing at you. 

It was the first time since leaving the hotel that you'd studied his expression and your brows drew together as you studied the sudden soulful look he was giving you. You allowed yourself, just for a moment, to believe that he was looking at you that way because he cared about you. You knew that you were little more than a sidekick and an occasional release for this man. 

The release part had been a more common occurrence lately. How it had started was still a little fuzzy. The two of you had come close to death, had gotten drunk and fucked each other's brains out. Then, when Tess was indisposed, he'd come to you for an escape from the real world and you'd taken what you could get. 

Then something changed and you spent most evenings in each other's beds. You'd hated how easily you had allowed him to use you but you had fallen for him. So you let it happen over and over, simply to have something. Even if it hurt you, body and soul. 

You'd barely had a moment to react to the sound of your door opening and closing before Joel was on you. Normally you would be quick to respond to his needy kisses but that evening you weren't and he noticed it straight away. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, pulling back to look at you properly "You been drinking?" 

"So what if I have?" You asked, pushing him off of you and reaching for the whiskey on your side table "HEY!" You growled when he snatched it from you and took a swig.

"Need to catch up." He grumbled and you rolled your eyes at him. 

"Bad day?" 

"Could say that." He lamented, taking another long pull before handing it to you. 

The two of you shared the bottle before he was kissing you again but it was different to before. He took his time, his hands tracing your curves as his lips painted your flesh with his passion. Clothes were removed and then his mouth devoured your sex. This was new. He'd never done this to you before and as his tongue played you perfectly, you wondered, why now? 

His thick fingers pushing into your heat had you hurtling towards your climax. Joel crooked his fingers perfectly, fingertips brushing against that spongy spot inside that no one had ever reached before and you came with a cry. 

"Mmmm, I love the sounds you make when you cum." He purred as he situated himself between your thighs. 

You grinned up at him as you allowed your feelings for him to leak out. The expression was quickly wiped from your face when he pushed his throbbing length into you. 

"Fuck." You choked, throwing your head back and baring your neck at him. 

He nipped and kissed the flesh there as he thrust languidly in and out of you. The usual frenzied sex you shared was replaced with something slower and so much more passionate. He hit your sweet spot over and over as his tongue danced with yours. His hips grinding into you were all it took to have you cumming around him and he growled in your ear as his release took hold of him and he painted your walls with his spent. 

That night you fell asleep in each other's arms and you woke up to him holding you against his firm body. You smiled at the sound of his soft snores before your head and allowed yourself to revel in the feel of this domestic moment because you knew the moment he woke up... It would be over. 

You were dragged from your memory by Joel calling after you. Standing at the door with his gun in hand you nodded and made your way over to him. You walked passed him without a glance, your own gun now firmly clasped in your hands. 

Torches brought to light that the museum looked exactly how you had pictured it. The building creaked and groaned from the weight of the dead fungus and you wondered how much longer the structure could handle it. 

"Yeah... cooked." Joel stated as his torch illuminated the petrified remains of an infected victim. 

"Oh, finally, some fuckin' luck." Said Tess as she winked at Ellie. 

"I guess we should've gone this way in the first place.." Joel uttered as he stepped further in and you rolled your eyes at his statement. 

Hindsight was a wonderful thing. 

"Oh shit!" Yelped Ellie and you sprinted to her side to see a fresh corpse, flesh cut to ribbons "What the fuck did that?" 

"Maybe..." Tess trailed off, her breathing picking up as she looked from you to Joel "maybe he was attacked outside, and crawled through the doors." She whispered and both you and Ellie turned to look at her "The door was open... Could've been him."

Ellie gave you a panicked look before returning her attention to Tess and Joel. 

"I don't hear anything." 

"Who would you hear?" Ellie asked and Joel was quick to shush her "Who would you hear?" She repeated in a hushed tone. 

Joel glanced at you a moment. You looked scared and he wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and tell you that everything was going to be okay. He then looked back at the teenager who was looking at him for answers.

"Are you saying an Infected did that?"

"Shhh."

"Because I've been attacked by one and it wasn't like that." Ellie uttered as she glanced back at the body. 

"Okay, from this point forward, we are silent. Not quite... Silent." Joel instructed as he looked between you, Ellie and Tess. 

"What..."

"No. No questions. Just do it." 

There was no room for argument. You all followed him up the stairs without question and what greeted you, would haunt your nightmares for years to come. You were split from Joel the moment a clicker came screaming at you. The last time you saw him, he was battling one on his own whilst Tess and Ellie ran for cover. 

When you found each other again, it was in the attic of the museum. You couldn't stop yourself from pulling Joel into a hug when he sprinted into view with Ellie at his side but then Tess stepped in and you pulled away. You didn't look at him as you climbed out the window and sprint across the makeshift bridge beyond. You hated the fact you'd let your feelings control your actions but you'd just been so happy to see him. You heard Ellie speaking behind you but you kept your attention fixed on the view. 

"You're in love with him aren't you." She asked out of the blue and you glanced at her a second before looking back to the derelict skyline. 

"Pass." 

"God, you all really hate talking about your feelings huh?" Ellie scoffed and you allowed yourself to smile at her comment a moment before your shoulders tensed as Joel stepped up beside Ellie. 

"Is it everything you hoped for?" He asked the teenager, glancing at you and then at her. 

"Jury's still out." She replied as she looked out at the cityscape "But, man, you can't deny that view." 

"Should have seen it when the buildings were still standing." You chuffed, remembering how it looked when you'd visited with your parents. You'd been just a few years older than her, there visiting your aunt who'd lived in an apartment building that was now reduced to little more than shattered glass. 

"C'mon, let's get there before it's dark." Ordered Tess as she stomped past the three of you and after a short glance at Joel you followed the older woman wordlessly. 

The walk gave you time to think. In a few minutes, you would be handing Ellie over to the Fireflies. You had told Joel that after this, you were done. You just weren't sure you could really leave the man who owned you body and soul. Then when you glanced at him and noted the look he and Tess shared, you decided you had to. 

After today... You and Joel were done. You wouldn't be following him into certain danger ever again. 

How wrong you were going to be. 

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😍😍

Everyone else sees it too, right? 😏

Pedro Pascal before the Met Gala (via Pierpaolo Piccioli’s intagram)

reader pronouns: she/her

“Not everything can be solved with a knife,” Maggie said, watching you throw gear into your pack.

You stopped and looked at her. “I know. That’s why I always carry two,” you said, pulling both of your knives from their sheaths at your hips.

Daryl, standing in the doorway and watching the discussion, couldn’t stifle a gruff laugh in time despite the tense atmosphere. Maggie rounded on him, looking exasperated. “Daryl,” she pleaded, in hopes he could perhaps stop you.

He straightened up. “She needs to do this Maggie. But I’ll go with. Ya think I’d let her go off alone? Nah. Despite the two knives…” he said, one corner of his mouth twitching up.

Love when writers do an insane amount of unnecessary research for their fics. I follow an author that did like 8 months of intense research into 14th century Scotland so they could write smut about it, and guess what. It was some fucking incredible porn AND I learned about old Scottish politics

Daryl: If ya bite it n’ ya die, it's poisonous. If it bites ya and ya die, it's venomous.

Carl: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Enid: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Carl, learn to listen.

Glenn: What if it bites itself and I die?

Michonne: That's Voodoo.

Abraham: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Eugene: That's correlation, not causation.

Tara: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Y/N: That's kinky.

Daryl, throwing his hands up and walking away: Oh m’ god.

He’s my current hyper fixation and I’m good with it.

I'm coming to you sweetheart... 🖤

Found on Pinterest

AI

i’m feral rn but has Frank ever been too in a rush to even take his gfs panties off🫣😅

OH. Oh my. Hell yes.

This is so hot because he literally can't wait another second. You're bent over the sink of a bathroom at a dinner party neither of you wanted to be at because Frank was already going feral at the way your tits looked in your dress. He had the privilege of staring down at them all night at the dinner table with one hand gripping the expanse of your thigh, his fingers so close that they feel the heat of your core. He felt the microscopic way you clenched your legs together and his eyes shot to your face. He'd know that look anywhere and he'd had enough of boring table conversation.

You excuse yourself for the bathroom and a moment later, Frank excuses himself too, making a weak excuse about "fresh air" before abruptly standing from the table.

The minute he enters the bathroom he turns you around and bends you over the bathroom counter, hiking your skirt up over your ass and growling when he sees the panties -- an obstacle he did not have the fucking patience for. He tugs them aside, the fabric of your thong settling into the plush pillow of your ass cheek, and lines himself up in one fluid movement, pushing himself rough and deep inside you. He fucks you over the counter, one hand covering your mouth to muffle your moans as he looks you in the eyes in the mirror and he rams fast and hard, the both of you cumming quickly and within moments of each other.

Frank pushes himself back in you for a moment -- seating his cum deep inside you before pulling out slowly and readjusting your panties and tugging your skirt back down. He slaps your ass lightly and kisses your forehead, saying "Come on, don't wanna miss dessert sweetheart."

Me: yeah, I’ve weirdly always had a thing for guys with long hair. I don’t know why ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My childhood:

The End Will Justify It All - Chapter 3

A Negan Series

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Warnings - not too much in this one. Adult themes and some language.

Feedback is always welcome! This series is challenging me for sure, and I'm loving it. Every time I work on it it gets a little longer and starts heading a direction that was unexpected even to me. I hope you'll hang in with me! I think it'll be worth it in the end.

Three days. That’s how long she’d been here. Three days of watching, waiting, learning. Three exhausting days of pretending to want to be one of them and taking advantage of every second alone to search for Daryl, which hadn’t been many. Between the dinners with Negan, and being stuck in the wives’ room, she had only had a few hours yesteday and today to explore. Three damn days in the enemy’s home and all she had to show for it was a wedding ring. Married to a monster.

She had searched every hall she could reasonably claim that she’d gotten lost in while looking her room, or the bathroom, or the kitchen, or whatever else she could think of. After three days, that excuse was losing merit - she should be more familiar with this place by now. Her heart was racing as she tiptoed, barefoot, down another empty hall of closed doors, quietly trying each doorknob. Locked. Locked. Locked. Leaning her ear against the doors, she couldn’t hear anything or anyone inside.

She tried the next. Another locked door. She was starting to lose heart; this hall was yet again a dead end. Would she ever find where they were keeping him? She twisted the next knob – locked. She sighed, glancing at the next door, when something caught her eye. Light. Two doors down at the corner of the corridor, streaming into the hall from…an open door? She flattened herself against the door in front of her, quieting her breath and listening for any sound of someone in the open room. After several minutes frozen there, she tiptoed closer, stopping every few steps to listen again. As she approached, she noticed a red chair against the opposite wall. It sat empty, facing the open door. Flattened against the wall at the edge of the door she paused one last time, before slowly creeping around to peer in.

The apartment before her was small. There was a sink and counters against one wall, a single bed, a chair, and a metal rack of clothes – mostly flannel button down shirts. No people. She ducked inside to get a better look. The apartment was well stocked. A toaster oven, a tv, lamps, a bookcase full of books, and she noticed a few potted plants. The furniture was well used, but slightly dusty. There was no evidence of anything personal in this room, nothing bought or collected like the other rooms she’d snuck into. No evidence anyone had been here recently. This room was waiting for an inhabitant, she realized. She was about to turn and leave when she heard footsteps coming around the corner. Low voices, male, were growing closer.

Her heart racing, she quickly surveyed the room again, this time searching for the best hiding spot. Under the bed wasn’t an option, the mattress was laid on stacks of wood crates. There were not enough clothes on the rack to hide behind. The cabinets on the wall were too small for her to fold into. The footsteps were getting closer, she only had one option.

She ducked behind the solid door just as she heard a voice greet the approaching steps. “Dwighty boy” she heard, and dread filled her. That was Negan’s voice.  He instructed someone to leave so he could speak with Dwight, and she heard rustling of steps outside the door. She squeezed in close and peeked through the crack of the open hinged door. Her heart stopped.

There he was. Daryl. Three days, not even a hint or whisper of him, and now here he was, less than four feet away from her.

---

She’d hoped when Negan had agreed on her first night to let her try out for the Saviors that she’d be able to ask someone about Daryl. Or that she’d be able to talk to any of them at all, learn anything about the place. She’d had no such luck.

She awoke on her second day in the Sanctuary hopeful and eager to start exploring. She dressed in the most practical clothes she could find in her wardrobe, and even asked the guard at the wives’ door for some boots. He’d obtained them for her, just in time to dawn them before… sitting. And waiting. And waiting. She asked him if she’d been sent any instructions on where to go or who to meet with about training or a job. He told her that her orders would come. So, she’d continued to wait.

The wives had pulled her into different activities in the meantime. Scrabble was a favorite of Frankie’s, and they introduced her to their “spa day” ritual, which she gathered was every day. Homemade face masks, manicures, makeup before dinner. It seemed expected of them to be beautiful, and at least it was a way to pass the time. Her impatience grew, however, with every hour that passed. Each wife often left the dorm to walk around the compound, getting some movement and some air, or smoke a cigarette. They seemed to have unquestioned access to wherever they needed to go. She took advantage of that when it was obvious that she wouldn’t be missed. She’d come up empty handed on those brief searches, and each time she returned, she’d asked the guard if her orders had come. He’d just shook his head.

By the time the instructions came for her to join Negan for dinner a second night, she was fuming.

She stomped into his apartment with as much attitude as her high heels would allow, her arms crossed, demanding to know why she had been cooped up in that room all day when he’d agreed to let her be part of a Savior team.

Negan’s answering smile didn’t meet his eyes, and it made her uneasy.

“Good evening to you, too,” he drawled, holding out her chair at the table for her. “Would you like to eat before you continue to rip me a new asshole, or should we do this on empty stomachs?”

She huffed as she sat and began piling her plate with the potpie in front of her.

“We’ve only been married for a day and you’re already angry with me?” Negan teased her.

She willed herself calm and forced an apologetic smile on her face. She needed to stay on his good side, throwing a fit this early might raise questions or make him change his mind about her access. She needed Negan to trust her.

“I’m sorry,” she began, “I have always had a quick temper. I told you, I’m not great at sitting around. I got impatient. I apologize.”

Again, his answering smile didn’t meet his eyes, but he seemed satisfied with her apology.

“I’d like to play a game to start our evening,” he said after a quiet few minutes of eating. “To get to know one another a little better. We are married now, after all.”

“What game?” she asked around a mouthful.

“A drinking game,” he replied, standing and walking to his bar cart in the corner. When he returned, he brought two shot glasses and a decanter of an amber colored liquid.  “I’ll ask you a question, and if you answer - honestly - you get to ask me a question in return. If you don’t answer, or if I think your answer is unsatisfactory, you take a shot and I get to ask another question.”

“I see. And do the same rules apply to you?”

“Sure,” he replied, mischief dancing in his eyes. “I take the rules of games very seriously.”

This made her nervous. She had no way of knowing what he would ask. She could always skip the question if she didn't like it, but too many questions skipped would certainly raise suspicions. She steeled herself as she took her last few bites of food, preparing for the worst.

When she raised her head, she found Negan watching her. She nodded and plastered a smile to her face.

“Sounds sexy. Let’s play.”

He grinned as he poured two shot glasses of the drink and slid one across the table to her.

“My first question,” he said, “is how long were you part of Rick’s group?”

She silently released a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. She felt a little relief at how simple the question was. She recounted the basic story of coming upon Rick's group in a small church in Georgia several weeks before they found Alexandria, and traveling with them to Virginia, looking for the family of one of their guys.

“How did you all find Alexandria?” Negan asked as her short story came to an end.

“I think it’s my turn for a question,” she teased him, “unless you want to skip that do a shot?”

He grinned in response and gestured for her to ask her question.

This was more pressure than answering. It was a good opportunity to get information, maybe even find out where Daryl is, if she could ask casually enough... She would have to be very careful how she approached it. She decided to start slowly, not too eager to get telling information from him.

“How many communities do you have working for you?” She asked, after some contemplation. Maybe a train of questions that make her seem curious about his operation would seem less suspicious when she got to Daryl.

“A lot,” he answered proudly, “I won't waste time counting them all. It’s a lot though. It has to be, to feed all our people.” A lot. There were a lot of other communities nearby. Potential allies. She filed that information away for later.

“How did your group find Alexandria?” He asked again, now that it was his turn.

“They found us. Their scouts had been watching us on the road. All but starved to death, desperate, and nearly feral. They took us in and gave us jobs. Have you always been the leader of the Saviors?”

Negan’s dark eyes stared at his glass for a long minute. She wasn’t sure he was going to answer, when he finally said, “No, but the guy before me was weak, he didn’t know what he was doing. It’s been me for long enough, and we’re all better for it. You’ve seen what we’ve become. I got us here.”

There was a pause as she took in what he said. He wasn’t wrong. She didn't really want to be here, but she had to admit that it worked. People were safe and fed, and there was a sense of order. Had she found this before Rick’s group, she wouldn’t have hesitated to become part of it.

“If you only got there a month ago, how did Rick end up in charge?” Negan asked.

“Who said Rick was in charge?” she countered.

Negan gave her a pointed look.

“It wasn’t on purpose, necessarily. There was an attack from some crazy outside group – not your guys. A bunch of walkers got past the walls; lost a lot of people - including the town’s leader. Rick is just the sort of guy that others follow, so the natural option was for him to step into the role.”

She hesitated a moment. “What’s your plan for them?” she asked, risking the question. Hoping it felt like an organic follow up. Negan drained his shotglass, not giving anything away. Damn. “What’s your plan for Daryl?” she was risking even more, now, but she wasn’t sure she’d have an opening again.

“I lost a lot of good fighters,” he answered. “I need more, and I like his spirit. He’ll make a great Savior once I wear him down.” She buried the dread that rose in her at his words and willed her heart to stop pounding.

Now his turn, Negan asked her “Who is Rick’s secondhand man?”

Realization hit her like a slap to the face. She should have guessed sooner his purpose for playing this game. She’d been blind, too focused on her own agenda to bother considering his. She’d have to be more careful about her answers now. If she revealed too much about Rick or Alexandria, she could put her friends in even more danger.

“All these questions about Rick…” she said, with a raised eyebrow and a hint of seduction in her voice, “I’m starting to feel a little jealous…” She took her glass and threw the shot to the back of her throat. She coughed a little as she swallowed. Whiskey had always done that to her.

Negan searched her face before grinning and continuing, “I would hate to have my new wife feeling neglected this soon. Tell me, what did you do before the world fell?”

“That's more like it,” she said with a slight curl of her lip. “Although a little difficult to answer. I worked a lot of jobs; I was putting myself through grad school. Took as many part-time jobs as I could.  I had two semesters left, and was already working on my thesis when the outbreak began.”

“Psychology,” she added, as she saw him start to speak again. He confirmed that was his next question with a slight nod of his head. “Same question to you,” she asked, settling back in her chair to keep the room from spinning. She hadn’t done a shot in ages, and her time on the road left her smaller than she ever was during her college partying era. Another shot or two and she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to answer anymore questions.

“I worked with kids,” Negan responded. “Gym teacher and coach.”

She didn’t try to hide a look of surprise, which made Negan chuckle. “I get that a lot when I answer that question.” She would have to work through that information later, figure out what that said about him as a person. The types of people who chose teaching positions… well, it begged the question what had happened to form him into... this? She didn’t have time to flesh that thought out as Negan launched into his next inquiry.

“You studied psychology, and you spent some decent time with him… if you were me, what would your next move against Rick be?”

Shit. She walked right into that one. How was she so off her game tonight?

She searched his face for a minute, took the decanter of whiskey and filled her glass. She met his glare as she gulped the shot down, stifling her cough this time. As she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she said, “I left their group to join you, but I don’t hate them. I’ll follow orders out there, but you can’t expect me to plot against them in here.”

Negan chewed his lip as he studied her, narrowing his eyes. She waited for his next question or her dismissal. She hoped for the latter.

“If you were me, what would your next move against Rick be?” he asked again, a malicious tone encroaching his voice.

She filled her glass again, but Negan’s hand appeared on its rim, pressing it to the table as she tried to lift it. “I’d like you to answer this one.” He said, threat in his voice despite the polite smile he wore.

As she made to protest, he cut her off. “You see, you asked to be more than just my wife - which stung a little, I won’t lie. But I am a generous husband, I like my wives to be happy. They always did say, ‘happy wife, happy life.’ I’m not one to argue with an age-old adage, but in order to do that for you, to make you happy… give you a job, if that’s really what you want… I gotta know what value you bring. I gotta know if you can do more than just take orders - I have enough obedient dogs out there. You’ve seen the way they bow to me. I don’t need another dog. What I need… is a wolf. A wolf, or a wife. The choice is yours.”

She stared at him, working to keep the rage she felt from burning through her glare. Bastard.

“I’ll give you until dinner tomorrow. Come back with something good, and I do mean something impressive, or settle in as a stay home wife, dear. You asked what I’ll do with Daryl – I guess you get to make that decision. I’d like him to become one of us, but what I need is information, and if you don’t give it, then I’ll get it from him however I have to."

"You’re dismissed.”

---

She’d played that conversation over in her head too many times to count since returning to her room last night. She worked through all her options, even options that weren’t options. How could she live with herself if she gave him all her friends’ weaknesses? How could she live with herself if she didn’t?

Seeing Daryl now, slumped in that red chair, staring into the room she hid in - her heart broke. He was filthy, his hair a level of greasy that was bad even for Daryl. His eyes were cloudy, dark bags hanging under them like he hadn’t slept in days. She shuddered to think what could put him in such a state - her strong, tough Daryl. She knew he wasn’t breaking, but she couldn’t tell how much he had left in him. He was so ragged, so run down.

Her decision was made. She wouldn’t be the cause of more pain for him. She could never forgive herself for that. For him, she could turn into whatever she needed to be. For him, she could be a wolf.

They’d see just how much of a wolf she was.

Y/N: What house would you be in?

Carol: I think I’d be in Ravenclaw.

Y/N: I think I’d be in Gryffindor, for sure.

Daryl: The hell’re you two talkin’ ‘bout?

Carol: Harry Potter.

Y/N: What house would you be in, Daryl?

Daryl: Don’t give a hufflefuck. We got shit to do. C’mon.

Carol: Just confirmed he’s read it.

Y/N: Total Hufflepuff.

Daryl, from outside: Ain’t no Hufflepuff!

(Thank you, @shadowcitrine 🤣)