Elippo Week 8/7: Friends

(i hate this, but i didn't had time to write another one. sorry for every mistake you could find in it but english is not my first language and I don't write very often in english)

elippo week day 1 - roommates "too kind"

you are too kind, and you know that. you care about everyone, even if you don't really know them, and there's another proof of that.

It was around 3 A.M., You were bingewatching sense8 sitting on your couch, when you decided to take a little break. you taked your phone and viewed the notificiation. you opened the chat with marti, he forwarded a looong audio message. you sighed, pressing play.

you still remeber the sentation in your stomach, while you were listening to that audio.

you didn't expected that.

you didn't recognized the boy who was talking, probably you didn't even know him, but fuck, fuck it was heartbreaking. he was crying and sobbing so hard he couldn't talk, he was sluttering nosense things for a lot of seconds, and you were just breathless.

he started talking properly, saying "marti, marti i'm so sorry, i-i know it's late, but i-i don't know what to do. my dad, my dad, he-" and he started crying and sobbing again "i just want to get away of this house marti, i'm so scared, i can't breath."

you remember you had to stop the audio for a second, tears started to fall down on your cheeks without control. you were crying and sobbing just like that boy was doing, and you still ask yourself why you were crying like that for a person you didn't even know. maybe it was because it reminded you about your panic attaks, or maybe it was just his broken voice, and his sobs, and his crying...you calmed down a bit, letting the audio play again.

"Marti, please, i beg you, let me stay at yours for some days, please, the time to let him calm down, please" the audio ended. his disperation in his voice breaked your heartyou wiped his tears, answering to Martino with "holy shit darling, who's that?!?"

he answered you immediatly.

from marti: fuck...

from marti: shit filo sorry, i wanted to send it to luchino not to you, i'm sorry, just forget that

to marti: no Marti, i can't just forget what i've just listened.

to marti: that was aweful

to marti: who was that guy?

from marti: i can't tell you

to marti: marti fuck please, if you don't i will send it to Sil and she will recognize the voice for sure

from marti: fuck, okay

from marti: it was Elia

Elia, really? Elia, the fucking hot, shallow, rude and with a really good ass? you didn't expected that. you visualized him like the usual straight white boy that have everything from his life, without problems and that doesn't give a fuck about everything, and at that moment you was ashamed of yourself for having thought all those things...and for what then? for a coat? for tan skin? for love of soccer? for obsession with fifa? or maybe it was the earring made, of course, on the left ear. Maybe it was his way of doing things, his beauty that left you speechless and made you think only that, with that face, with that body, what could go wrong for you? fuck, you felt so guilty. you were the first who hated prejudice, and yet you couldn't help but having prejudice on everyone.

from marti: don't tell anyone

to marti: what happened with his father?

from marti: filo, i've said too much, please

to marti: it's okay

you taked a breath. you couldn't really believe you were doing that. you waited a little bit before sending the message, just to think if you really wanted it, and yes, you fucking wanted it, that was the right thing to do.

to marti: but tell elia that i'm searching a roommate

from marti: but you're not searching a roommate

to marti: well now i am

from marti: what about ele?

to marti: she is with prince charming in new york, she wont care

from marti: okay

from marti: why are you doing this?

yeah Filo, why the fuck are you doing this? you're not even going to have something in change from him unsless money (if he haved it, if not you were obviously going to give him the room anyway)

to marti: 'cause that audio was the worst thing i ever listened to, so if he needs help i want to do all i can

from marti: thank you so much Filo

from marti: I appriciate that, and he will too

from marti: you're too kind for this world, really

to marti: i know

fuck, you knew.

You didn't even know this fucking Elia, what if he was the world's worst roommate? if it was impossible to live with him? God, he was coming, and you were already starting to regret making that decision.

you had spoken to him twice, in chat, and beyond various agreements on payment and various thanks from Elia, it's not that you spoke so much. He probably didn't even know that you knew, but that you knew what? that he have daddy issues? that he had a panic attack? you didn't even know what you knew, or at least in that moment you didn't know, then you got a bump of awareness as soon as someone rang the bell, and opening you seen Elia, smiling, with a box in his hand, and a bruise upon his eye. slowly swallowing, letting him in. his father had done that giant thing on his face? As soon as Elia put the box on the table, he came to hug you suddenly.

"Thank you, Fili, you don't know what it means to me, really," he whispered in your ear as you strenged him in your arms. How much you wished you didn't knew, to think that he had that bruise in a meaningless and meaningful fight, that meant as much to him because he had finally become independent, how much you wished.

"don't worry" you said by giving him a kiss on the cheek, which you did with anyone, but not with strangers like Elia, and yet you felt that you had to do it. You stroked his back, then you loosened the hug.

"How did you do it?" you asked him, pointing to the bruise on his face.

For Christ's sake, don't you know the saying, "Chi si fa i cazzi suoi campa cent'anni"? (OKAY LISTEN I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TRANSLATE IT, and in italian it sounds a lot better, but it basically means "who minds his own business lives one hundred years).

"uhm, nothing...some guys were beating a boy, I defended him and they punched me, nothing really important" he slightly looked down, uttering those words, but with a little reassuring smile. reassuring? fuck, you trembled at the thought of that boy being beaten, moreover by his father.

"hm, understood. it hurts?" you asked him, because, again, were you too kind and precious to the fucking world, and you were so fucking worried about him.

"not much".

"All right, come on, let's go, I'll show you around and help you move your things to Ele's room" You smiled at him, put one hand on his shoulder, then carried him around the house, showing him first the living room, then the kitchen, the bathroom, your room and then his room, Ele's room, you know, that room. You came back alone, took the box from the table, and you couldn't help but look inside.

Again, Fili, chi si fa i cazzi suoi campa cent'anni, when you want to understand it? Inside, there were clothes, T-shirts mostly, Cds, photos and a thing that you couldn't identify well, you thought it was something to make music, you didn't know how to use it or its name, and you didn't even care. you took the Cds in your hands, one was Fine Line by Harry Styles (is elia really straight?), one Evergreen by Calcutta, and another was Uomo! by Mondo Marcio

You putted them back inside the box, taking some photos. one was with a girl, who must have been about your age, while all the others were with his friends, most with Contrabbandieri and nicco all together, and some were where he was alone with martino, or only with Luca. You putted them back in the box, noticing another photo that you had missed. a picture with Sana.

excuse me? ok back, what you had just seen? Elia. with Sana. Elia who took a photo with Sana. Elia who took a photo with sana and also printed it.

you put the photo back in, on your way back to Elia.

Filippo, you're the nicest person in the world, okay, but you need to mind your own fucking business.

you were too kind, so kind that you sacrificed your time and your cock to help your very good looking roommate understand his sexuality better, without even earning anything in return. a real angel.

too bad that you felt you were attaching too much to that boy, and now when you're fucking you no longer closed your eyes, concentrating on the pleasure you were feeling, but you kept them open, observing elia's body, the bruises on his body ( that elia kept telling you that he made them falling from his skate, but by now you had understood that it was his father who made them, when elia on Sunday came home to have lunch with him), kissing them, while you concentrated on giving him pleasure. that thing wasn't right.

you had decided to remain fuck-friends even when elia understood, already after the first blowjob, that he was bisexual, and now you were regretting it, because besides that there was nothing, out of bed you acted like normal friends, and that thing made you feel like shit.

you hated yourself because you kept telling yourself that love was not your thing and that you would never fall in love, and instead you always ended up falling in love, and always with the wrong guys. you felt like an imbecile, a fucking imbecile. you felt like an imbecile when elia suddenly sat on your legs and started kissing you and you didn't even have the strength to let him get off and say no, tell him what you started to feel, get away before the situation became unmanageable. perhaps it already was. you felt like an imbecile because you didn't even understand what you felt.

you entered the house after being a week in america with Eleonora, finding Elia lying on the sofa, sleeping, as you had predicted from the fact that he hadn't answered your many calls; he seemed very tired. you sat next to him for a second, stroking his hair and face. suddenly he woke up, slowly opening first one eye and then the other.

"Good morning" you smiled at him, and he immediately sprang up sitting.

"fucking fuck, I forgot you would come back today, fuck I'm sorry, really"

"don't worry eli, really. How are you?"

"I'm... well, how did it go with ele?" he seemed a little doubtful, but you decided not to tell him anything. you had noticed the pale face and the big dark circles under his eyes, but you were looking for the best time to talk to him about it.

"very well, even if I missed you a little bit" you risked , you know it well, but the smile that immediately formed on elia's face made you pass all the anxiety.

"say that you were actually missing my ass because you can't stay a week without fucking" chuckled elia, pushing you slightly.

"sgam... in fact I was wondering if you wanted to make up for the lost days" you smiled, approaching him to kiss him, but he put a hand on your chest.

"I don't... not now, I still have to cook and-"

"Let's order a pizza" you approached again, placing a hand behind his neck, but he put pressure on your chest, moving, with a sorry and anxious look at the same time.

"Filo really, not now"

"yes, of course, sorry, sorry if I insisted" you looked down, you felt incredibly guilty.

"it's nothing..."

"I really order pizza though, and in the meantime you can rest a little longer, yeah? you need it" he gave you a small smile, murmuring an okay, getting up and putting himself on his bed, falling asleep in a short time .

unfortunately for elia he managed to sleep for half an hour, before your pizzas, a margherita for you and a diavola for him, arrived, and you had to wake him up. the truth was that elia didn't want to eat, and he didn't even have the strength to. he was hungry, but at the same time the mere idea of ​​eating made him feel bad, and he just wanted to stay in bed all day, everyday.

he stayed more than 5 minutes staring at his pizza, and you started to worry.

"oi... don't wanna eat? don't you like it?"

"yes, I like it..." and yet he still didn't eat, staring at his empty glass of water, which in 5 minutes had already filled up twice.

"Then what's wrong? Are you still tired?"

"I'm not hungry, fili" his voice was getting smaller and smaller with each answer, his gaze lower and lower.

"did you had breakfast?"

"no.."

"eli ... did you ate while I wasn't there?" your heart started beating fast. you couldn't let it happen to him too, after you saw Eleonora abandoning herself, not eating for days, and after you saw Silvia doing the same thing, you couldn't.

"of course I ate Filo..." you didn't believe him, but from experience you already knew that insisting on that thing would only make him angry and he wouldn't get anything.

"eli, what's wrong with you? you can tell me about everything, you know"

"I know..."

"How about if you eat a little bit and then we rest for a while on your bed? mh? you are pale darling, if you think I'll let you go without even taking a bite you are wrong" you put your hand towards his, stroking it slightly

"filo..."

"yes?" he detached his hand from yours, moving away a bit and slowly raising his shirt, leaving his chest uncovered, with three large purple spots.

"Christ, how did you do it?" you knew it, and even if I hadn't known this time you wouldn't have drunk the excuse of skateboarding, a fall doesn't leave you those marks.

"I came out to my dad" he said, lowering his gaze once more, along with the shirt.

"Lia..." you didn't know what to say to him. your parents had reacted decently to your coming out, and anything you came to say to comfort him seemed stupid and useless.

"I was stupid, it's my fault, I knew he would have this reaction"

"Elia, what the fuck are you saying? it's not your fault ok? it's not normal to do something like that, you're his son!"

"It's my fault because I shouldn't have told him Filo! He's been beating me for any bullshit for years, it's years that I know what he thinks of people like us, and I even thought he could react decently!" elia held back her tears as hard as she could, and you could see it from her broken voice and bright eyes. you hugged him, strong but so as not to hurt him.

"eli ... I'm so sorry, I swear to you, he doesn't deserve a son like you, and you don't deserve a father like that, and... I know you will be angry, but I knew it... I knew about your father... I'm sorry eli, I should've done something, I know, but I didn't know what to do, and you kept lying to me and..." you felt like shit, you knew everything and you hadn't done anything to avoid it. you weren't made for people, and elia deserved a better person than you.

"Filo doesn't matter, I don't know how you knew it but it doesn't matter, you couldn't have done anything... at least now he doesn't want to see me anymore, it hurts, but now it's over... now I can be me, and even if-if I will remember all this forever, now I can live without being afraid of him anymore... and Fili... even if I haven't told you about this, it doesn't mean that I don't care about you, that you are only my roommate or my friend with benefits, it only means that I didn't want you to worry about me, or that you found out that I'm a mess, I was afraid of ruining everything, because I'm happy with you, you make me feel good... I stopped thinking about..suicide, since I lived here, if you hadn't taken me as a roommate, I... Christ, you saved me Filo" he began to cry, and together with him you burst. you took his hand, squeezing it tightly. all his words began to spin in your head like a vortex; I care about you, I'm a mess, you make me feel good, suicide, you saved me.

"elia..." you took a deep breath, you had to do it.

"you don't have to say something-"

"I love you elia" you closed your eyes to not see his reaction. you ruined everything, but you needed to tell him how you felt.

"what?"

"I'm sorry ... really, I'm sorry, it shouldn't have happened, but I love you, and I really don't care if you don't love me, but I want to stay with you eli, I want to be your friend, and make you feel good, and prepare you fucking pancakes at 3 in the morning when you're in chemical hunger, and I want to hug you when you're sick, I want to be there for you, even if I love you and you don't love me, because you're one of the few people I've ever really cared about. "it was now impossible to stop your tears dripping down your cheeks.

elia seemed speechless, and you just wanted to sink into the void.

"I love you too" you heard him murmur, and you immediately looked up at him.

"really?" you kept crying, but this time there was a big smile on your face, which immediately formed also on elia's, who nodded.

you approached him quickly, kissing him. it wasn't your first kiss, but it was like it was.

at that moment everything was gone, the bruises, the pain, everything, it was just the two of you.

you had a lot to talk about, but at that moment you had something else to think about.

for once, your being kind and nosy had served you something.

RICKY BOWEN & GINA PORTER High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (2019–2023) "When Sofia Wylie leaned over and kissed Josh’s cheek in the back of that orange Bug, that changed the entire series. So the short answer is, I don’t know when I wrote the pilot if I thought Gina and Ricky would kiss in the season finale of season 3, but from Homecoming on, this was the plan." – Tim Federle

started from the bottom now we’re here

Boyfriend, let’s go

Who me?

Well duh. You’re really thought I wanted to keep us a secret?

I-

In the end "Snow lands on top" a rant

I just finished the book, and people are right, you actively find yourself rooting for Snow, for a split second you completely forget who he is, who he is to become. You want him to be a good person, the moment I knew his humanity was faltering was when he killed Mayfair and Billy Taupe. He excused it as protecting Sejanus and Lucy Gray, but at the root of it, Coriolanus Snow is a product of Capitol brainwashing and taught to dehumanize the people of the districts.

He's so complex and fucked up and sociopathic and Olivia's song is a perfect encapsulation of Lucy Gray, AND Sejanus Plinth haunting him for the rest of his life. Snow can pretend and poison and erase the memory of them but people with unfinished business tend to come back to finish it.

I had refused to read the last chapter holding it off, cause I already saw the mental change in Snow's character, I was invested but I knew my heart will be broken. Because we only ever knew her through Snow's lens; Lucy Gray Baird's fate forever a mystery, just like her life.

Thank you for reading this mini rant, I'll probably rant again after a while.

Kinda low-key obsessed with the lewk

ahh!! this duo in visible brad ep >>>

April Diaries Pt.4: Xdinary Heroes

all the people sympathising with snow and saying they can't hate him anymore after watching tbosas... y'all let awful white men get away with ANYTHING as long as you find them attractive and it SHOWS

Lucy Gray should be proud to know she haunted that evil man every damn day of his fucking miserable life